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Authors: Gary Provost
100 Ways to Improve Your Writing (Mentor Series) (8 page)
BOOK: 100 Ways to Improve Your Writing (Mentor Series)
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Listen to the difference parallel construction makes in the following examples.
Style is not something you can put onto your writing like a new set of clothes. Style is your writing. It is inexorably knotted to the content of your words and the nature of you. So do not pour the clay of your thoughts into the hard mold of some personal writing style that you are determined to have. Do not create in your head some witty, erudite, unmistakably exciting persona and try to capture him or her on paper. Also, do not try to write like Erma Bombeck, Hunter S. Thompson, Ernest Hemingway, or anybody else. If you fail you will look foolish, and if you succeed you will succeed only in announcing to the world that you are not very creative. Strive instead to write well and without self-consciousness. Then your style will emerge. It might be as specifically yours as your thumbprint, or it might be as common as sunshine. But at least it will be you.
CHAPTER SIX
Twelve Ways to Give Your Words Power
1. Use Short Words
2. Use Dense Words
3. Use Familiar Words
4. Use Active Verbs
5. Use Strong Verbs
6. Use Specific Nouns
7. Use the Active Voice ... Most of the Time
8. Say Things in a Positive Way ... Most of the Time
9. Be Specific
10. Use Statistics
11. Provide Facts
12. Put Emphatic Words at the End
Short words tend to be more powerful and less pretentious than longer words.
Rape
is a powerful term;
sexual assault
isn’t.
Stop
is stronger than
discontinue.
Rape
is a powerful term;
sexual assault
isn’t.
Stop
is stronger than
discontinue.
The fastest way to learn why you should use short words is to read anything by Ernest Hemingway. Hemingway, the Nobel Prize winner who lands on almost everybody’s list of great American writers, was a miser when it came to syllables and words. This paragraph, which I picked at random from his
The Sun Also Rises
(Scribner’s), contains only two words with more than two syllables.
The Sun Also Rises
(Scribner’s), contains only two words with more than two syllables.
Finally, after a couple more false klaxons, the bus started, and Robert Cohn waved good-by to us, and all the Basques waved good-by to him. As soon as we started out on the road outside of town it was cool. It felt nice riding high up and close under the trees. The bus went quite fast and made a good breeze, and as we went out along the road with the dust powdering the trees and down the hill, we had a fine view, back through the trees, of the town rising up from the bluff above the river. The Basque lying against my knees pointed out the view with the neck of a wine-bottle, and winked at us. He nodded his head.
A dense word is a word that crowds a lot of meaning into a small space. The fewer words you use to express an idea, the more impact that idea will have. When you revise, look for opportunities to cross out several words and insert one.
Once a month is monthly; something new
is
novel; people they didn’t know
are
strangers;
and something
impossible to imagine
is
inconceivable.
Once a month is monthly; something new
is
novel; people they didn’t know
are
strangers;
and something
impossible to imagine
is
inconceivable.
Do you know what a
mandible
is? Your dentist does. He uses that word every day.
mandible
is? Your dentist does. He uses that word every day.
So, if you are writing a story just for your dentist, use
mandible.
But if you are writing for everybody else, use the more familiar word,
jaw.
mandible.
But if you are writing for everybody else, use the more familiar word,
jaw.
A word that your reader doesn’t recognize has no power. If it confuses the reader and sends him or her scurrying for the dictionary, it has broken the reader’s spell.
Familiar words have power. By avoiding very long words, you avoid most of the words that your reader doesn’t know. But you should also replace short words if they are so rare that your reader might not know them.
Even though
delegate
is longer than
depute,
it is better. Don’t write
sclerous
if you can write
hardened,
and if you have written that something is
virescent,
please go back and say that it is
turning green.
delegate
is longer than
depute,
it is better. Don’t write
sclerous
if you can write
hardened,
and if you have written that something is
virescent,
please go back and say that it is
turning green.
A couple of tips. A word is familiar if it came easily to you but is not part of some specialized knowledge you have, such as a computer term. A word is unfamliar if you never heard of it until you found it in the thesaurus or if you haven’t read it at least three times in the past year.
Active verbs
do
something. Inactive verbs
are
something. You will gain power over readers if you change verbs of being such as
is, was,
and
will be
to verbs of motion and action.
do
something. Inactive verbs
are
something. You will gain power over readers if you change verbs of being such as
is, was,
and
will be
to verbs of motion and action.
Verbs, words of action, are the primary source of energy in your sentences. They are the executives; they should be in charge. All other parts of speech are valuable assistants, but if your verbs are weak, all the modifiers in the world won’t save your story from dullness.
Generally speaking, verbs are weak when they are not specific, not active, or are unnecessarily dependent on adverbs for their meaning.
If you choose strong verbs and choose them wisely, they will work harder for you than any other part of speech. Strong verbs will reduce the number of words in your sentences by eliminating many adverbs. And, more important, strong verbs will pack your paragraphs with the energy, the excitement, and the sense of motion that readers crave.
Sharpen a verb’s meaning by being precise. Turn
look
into
stare, gaze, peer, peek,
or
gawk,
Turn
throw
into
toss, flip,
or
hurl.
look
into
stare, gaze, peer, peek,
or
gawk,
Turn
throw
into
toss, flip,
or
hurl.
Inspect adverbs carefully and always be suspicious. What are those little buggers up to? Are they trying to cover up for a lazy verb? Most adverbs are just adjectives with ‘ly’ tacked on the end, and the majority of them should be shoveled into a truck and hauled off to the junkyard. Did your character really walk nervously, or did he pace? Did his wife eat quickly, or did she
wolf
down her supper?
wolf
down her supper?
Good writing requires the use of strong nouns. A strong noun is one that is precise and densely packed with information.
Be on the lookout for adjectives that are doing work that could be done by the noun. Adjectives do for nouns what adverbs do for verbs; that is, they identify some distinctive feature. They tell you what color the noun is, how it’s shaped, what size it came in, or how fast it moved. Adjectives do great work when they are needed. But they are too often brought in when they are not needed. The careless writer drags them in to provide information which would be more interesting if it came directly from the noun. (Who would you prefer to meet, Woody Allen or a guy who knows Woody Allen?)
Before you write a noun that is modified by one or two adjectives, ask yourself if there is a noun that can convey the same information. Instead of writing about a
black dog,
maybe you want to write about a
Doberman.
Do you want to write
large house,
or is
mansion
really to the point? And before you put down
cruel treatment,
ask if you can make a greater impression on the reader with
savagery, barbarity,
or
brutality.
black dog,
maybe you want to write about a
Doberman.
Do you want to write
large house,
or is
mansion
really to the point? And before you put down
cruel treatment,
ask if you can make a greater impression on the reader with
savagery, barbarity,
or
brutality.
Read these two sentences:
A man just walked into the room.A priest just walked into the room.
Were you a little more interested when I told you the man was a priest? That’s because he became more specific, and you could see him better. If I had told you that a senator, a garbageman, or a Lithuanian had entered the room, you still would have found him more interesting than a mere man.
Specific nouns have power. In fact, I recently bought a book because of a specific noun. The name of the book is
The Last Goodbye Kiss
by James Crumley (Random House), and I plunked down $2.75 for it after reading Crumley’s opening sentence. Read it yourself and see if the same specific noun that forced me to part with my money grabs you.
The Last Goodbye Kiss
by James Crumley (Random House), and I plunked down $2.75 for it after reading Crumley’s opening sentence. Read it yourself and see if the same specific noun that forced me to part with my money grabs you.
BOOK: 100 Ways to Improve Your Writing (Mentor Series)
9.7Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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