18 Truths (29 page)

He nodded. “How long have you and Nate been dating?”

“Two months.”

We were both quiet for a moment. “So your first relationship has lasted longer than almost all of mine put together.”

I looked up at him, meeting his eyes, and realized I still hadn’t told him Nate and I weren’t together anymore. “I guess. But it’s over. We broke up right before I came to Juvie.”

“Was it because of me?” His voice was low, like he felt bad.

Shrugging, I said, “Maybe. I mean you factored into our decision, but the truth is, a lot of things were off with us these past couple of weeks.”

Moonlight flickered against the water and I shivered, but it wasn’t because of the temperature. Cold radiated through me at the memory of losing Nate.

Conner misread my reaction and snaked his arm around my waist. We walked along the beach, silence filling the air. Finally, he knelt down in the sand and grabbed a handful. “There’s this passage I read in the Bible recently that talks about God’s thoughts for us. The verse says that if we were to count them, it would be like trying to count the grains of sand, and even then, His thoughts would outnumber the vast sum of them. These grains of sand in my hand represent the number of thoughts I had about you in just one hour. No matter where I went, no matter who I was with, I never stopped thinking about you.”

I caught his hand, released the grains of sand, and laughed softly. “Okay, Mr. Casanova. I expect to hear this in a song dedicated to me later.”

“I’ve been called far worse. And anything for you. If there were any way for me to know that you were coming back, I would’ve waited. Believe me; our past was very much alive in my head. But I thought whole-heartedly our future was dead.” His lips gently brushed my cheek. “Come here, I want to do something with you.”

My steps were a little shaky, wondering what that something was. A question remained in my mind, one I’d always wanted to ask him, but never had the guts to do so. “Conner, did you die a virgin?”

Conner snapped to attention like a solider. “Did you?”

I kicked at his foot lightly. “I asked you first.”

He sauntered forward a few steps without me, then turned around. “Yes. Does that surprise you? Did you and Nate ever—”

“Yes.”

Conner looked as if I had slapped him. His lips parted, but said nothing for a moment. Even in the almost pitch-black, I could see his eyes shining. “Which question are you saying yes to?” he asked breathlessly.

“Oh!” My voice squealed. “To the first one.”

He smiled; his hand seeking and finding mine once more. We strode to the center of the small island where a single oak tree stood.

I frowned, the subject still nagging at me. “Are you still?”

He took a deep breath. “Yes. I mean, I want to tell you the truth. I’m no saint.”

A snort escaped my lips. “I think that’s well documented.”

“True, true. But I just want to be honest with you. I’ve done many things I’m not proud of, even here, at the beginning, with those girls. I don’t know why they just let us roam around Juvie with our free will and hormones intact. They should utilize shock therapy or something. It would make being a guy a lot easier.”

“It’s okay. I don’t think I want to hear anymore.” Feeling my face start to burn, I looked up. “Are we gonna climb another tree?”

From the corner of my eye, I saw him raise his head. “Nah. I just remembered the tree as we approached the island, and I got to thinking about your bucket list thing, and I realized not once did we ever carve our initials into a tree. I know tree carving is nothing big, but it just seems like we should claim a spot as our own, right?”

I stroked his back. “Nothing could seem more fitting. I actually have a Swiss army knife in my bag.”

Bending low over my backpack, I felt him drop a kiss on the back of my head. “Oh, good. I actually hadn’t thought that far ahead about needing something to carve with.” When I stood, he kissed my mouth. “I’ll take it from here. You just sit back and relax.”

“That’s what she said.”

“The Office! Did you get to watch shows in real time during Limbo? I want to know all about the finale!”

I spent the next ten minutes updating Conner on all the foolish and poignant moments of the last season of our favorite documentary style comedy show. By the time I finished, so did he.

“All right, what do you think?”

I moved to stand in front of him, studying the ‘CA+OW=TLF’ with the heart around the initials. “TLF? The Espanol abbreviation for telephone?”

“What? No!” he said impatiently.

“No? Total Loan Financing then?”

He took a step away from me, studying my backside. “It actually stands for ‘Tight Little Fanny.’ I thought if the shoe fits—”

I seized a handful of sand and flung it at him. He ducked, and then tackled me to the ground, his arms circling me. We rolled over the sand, tangled together, until we hit the water’s edge. Shells dug into my back, but I didn’t care. All that mattered was this moment between us.

His hands slide down to my waist, and he lifted me up against him. I gasped in surprise.

Conner held me still. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s just you bumped against my phone and it dug into me the wrong way.”

I thought of my phone, the one issued to me by headquarters, the one I used to download files from a secret document. Sudden cold flooded my veins, ruining the moment, even as his lips tried to part mine. Using all of my self-control, I turned away.

“Conner, we need to focus for a minute. I only have a few hours left here with you, and—”

“What? So this visit was just closure for you or something? Your chance to say goodbye?”

My eyes met his and I saw the anger brewing there. “No. I mean yes, part of coming here was closure, to know what happened to you and to make sure you were all right. But now that I’m here, I know that’s not enough. So we need a plan. I’ve had my fun, Sherlock Holmes style, but I’m out of ideas. I’m gonna need your help.”

“What do you mean? You
have
to leave soon? But you just got here.”

I proceeded to tell him all about becoming a spirit guide and making the deal with Sam to get here. I left out the part about how I really died, tackling one confession at a time. First things first.

If Conner was surprised to hear all this, he didn’t reveal it. “I don’t know what to do to help. All I know is not to let go of you. Thinking of you is the only thing that got me through the past year. The idea that I’d have to let you go again is inconceivable.”

“Okay, when you say things like that,
I
can’t focus.”

He leaned back, throwing one arm casually across my stomach. “Come on, can’t you think of something? You’re a journalist. You’re trained to hound people until they give you what you want.”

“Is that a good character trait, or an annoying one?”

His mouth crooked up on one side. “Never annoying to me. Maybe to living creatures, but not to dead people.”

I hit him lightly on the shoulder. “Good to know.”

“I’m kidding! But you are a reporter, and you’re good at it. And the reason you’re good at it is that justice matters to you. Shedding light on things matters to you, and you make others care because they see your heart. And it just so happens when you’re on the right path, the universe rewards you by meeting the right people.”

“Meaning you?”

He raised his eyebrows. “Me and my roommate Bo. The kid is a computer genius. He already had a dozen Microsoft certifications from his high school before his untimely death.”

I smiled. “I think it’s time I got to know this guy.”

sat beside Conner, spinning the Morticia Addams ring on my finger.

“What a day, huh?” he asked, breaking the silence as we watched Bo trying to decipher the Alpha File 120 on my phone.

Bo’s slight, five-foot-five frame hunched over my screen, and I noticed he probably weighed less than I did. He scrolled rapidly through the contents, searching for a weakness in the code. I was so wrapped up in seeing Conner again this morning; I hadn’t even noticed that Bo was Asian. More specifically, I knew now he originated from the Philippines. He looked handsome in a very clean-cut kind of way, but in a way suggesting he could never pull off cool no matter how hard he tried. Personally, I thought it was funny that even in death Conner attracted a geeky sidekick. How Conner restrained himself from telling a bunch of jokes about the stereotype of Asians being techies was beyond me. He’d probably gotten all the punch lines out of his system sometime during the past year.

I smiled and answered Conner’s question. “You can say that again. You want to go get drunk or something? I never added that one to my life list, and now I think I should’ve.”

Conner laughed. “Well, welcome to Camp Fusion. Unfortunately, there are no alcoholic beverages allowed. I can tell you some more jokes to help pass the time though.”

Bo made a noise, suggesting he was familiar with Conner’s offensive joke telling.

“How do you know an Asian has robbed your house?”

I elbowed Conner. “Have you ever heard silence is golden?”

He crossed his arms over his chest and ignored me. “Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and the thief is still trying to back out of your driveway two hours later.”

Bo glared at him for a second, but couldn’t hold his laughter in for long. “I can see why you were best friends with this guy for thirteen years,” he said to me. “There’s no way to ever stay mad at him.”

“Yeah, it’s one of his many
annoying
traits,” I said, my gaze on Conner.

When Conner and I had arrived back to the tent, he formally introduced me to Bo, who had no qualms about helping me with the Alpha File. So, I immediately liked Bo. But first, he wanted to eat, so he asked his girlfriend if I could borrow her ID. The security guard only mildly glanced at the badge when we entered Camp Fusion High. Her skin was as white as mine, and she even had red hair, though hers wasn’t as bright or as frizzy. Apparently, cross-dimensional visits weren’t common, so flashing her badge was all I needed as a pass to get in without arousing suspicion.

After dinner, the three of us had drifted into the large, wood-paneled library on the second floor to investigate the file. We thought having computer access would prove useful, and this was the only place in Juvie with laptops. The media center was large and drafty; its vaulted ceilings with hanging lanterns and the stone fireplaces with freshly built fires the only sources of light. We huddled together in a secluded corner, but even while sitting in a high-backed lounger, I felt exposed here.

Bo slumped in a brown leather armchair next to me, glowering repeatedly at the screen. Conner slouched back lazily on the black sofa across from us, smiling as he flipped through a leather-bound volume on the end times, hoping for any clues on what the Alpha File 120 could hold. Between us was a polished wooden coffee table with a laptop. The internet was restricted to ten sites here, all related to spirit-filled living.

Tight, panicky feelings fluttered in my stomach; I knew I had no real chance of escaping the predicament I’d gotten myself into. The worst thing I could do was panic now, but it seemed like all I could do. My fidgety hands wouldn’t settle down, twisting in my lap. My eyes couldn’t seem to stop blinking often enough to focus on anything. I kept looking over my shoulder, waiting for someone to bust us, jumping at the tiniest of sounds. More often than not, the sounds weren’t even there when I investigated around corners, just a figment of my imagination. Each time Bo eyeballed me, I pasted a frozen smile on my face.