21st Century Dodos: A Collection of Endangered Objects (and Other Stuff)

BOOK: 21st Century Dodos: A Collection of Endangered Objects (and Other Stuff)
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Brought to you by KeVkRaY 

Steve Stack

21st Century Dodos

A Collection of Endangered Objects (and Other Stuff)

Dedication

For Ethan and Martha
who have never heard of most of the things in this book,
the poor, deprived children

Contents

Title Page
Dedication
Introduction

At the Cutting Edge of Technology

Audio Cassettes
Mixtapes
VHS
Betamax
Minidiscs
Laserdiscs
Polaroid Cameras
Home Computers
Loading Computer Games from Tape
Printer Paper with Holes
Dial-up Modems
Basic
Compact Discs
Sony Walkman

In the Home

Rotary Dial Telephones
One Phone in the Home
Trimphones
Directory Enquiries
Toothpaste Tubes Made of Metal
Jif
Creamola Foam
Milkshake Straws
Duo Cans
Black and White Television

In the Neighbourhood

White Dog Poo
Whistling
Bob-a-Job Week
Raleigh Chopper
Raleigh Grifter
Roller Skates
Ring Pulls
Cap Guns
Routemaster Buses
Bus Conductors
Playing in the Streets
Election Vans with Loudspeakers
Nuns
Telephone Boxes
Rag and Bone Men
Cars
Slam Door Trains
Milk Bottle Deliveries
Fizzy Pop Deliveries
Christmas Boxes

On the High Street

Petrol Pump Attendants
Green Shield Stamps
High Street Names
Woolworths
Midland Bank
C&A
Our Price
Athena
Television Rental Shops
Fish and Chips Wrapped in Newspaper
Keeping CDs Behind the Counter
Half-day Closing
Record Tokens

At School

Blackboards
Blackboard Rubbers
Antiseptic in the Playground
Calculator Watches
Satchels
Ice Cream Bricks
Corporal Punishment
Bulldog
Schools’ Programmes Countdown Clock

On Television and Radio

Answers on a Postcard
Buzby
Humphrey
Grandstand
World of Sport
Massive Viewing Figures
Closedown
Advertising Slogans
B-sides
Interludes
Green Cross Code Man
Television Stations
The Watershed
Analogue Television
Teletext

In the Cinema

National Anthem
Commissionaires
Usherettes
Newsreels
Smoking Sections
Intermissions
Waiting Ages for American Films to Come out
Local Cinema Adverts
Saturday Morning Cinema
Projectionists
B Movies

In the Newsagent

10p Mix-up Bag
Look-in
Sweet Tobacco
Mandy
Marathon
Opal Fruits
Playhour
Texan Bars
Bunty
Cheeky Weekly
Candy Cigarettes
Nestles
Nougat
Look and Learn
Smarties Tubes
Smash Hits
Spangles
Liquorice Pipes
Maverick Bar

All the Other Stuff

Post Office Tower Restaurant
Telegrams
Carbon Copy Paper
Concorde
Passing Back to the Goalie
Football Rattles
Typewriters
Penfriends
Tennent’s Lager Can Girls
Countries that No Longer Exist
English Counties that No Longer Exist
Telegrams from the Queen
Lighthouse-keepers
Pipe Smoking
Chest Expanders
Handwritten Letters
Football Pools
Spot the Ball
Imperial Measurements
Net Cord Judges
Car Chokes
Two Spaces after a Full Stop
The Word ‘Wireless’
Coins and Notes
The End?
Further Reading
Thanks
About the Author
Other Books by Steve Stack
Copyright
About the Publisher

Introduction

There are many thousands of endangered species on the planet. If you include animals, insects, and plants, then about three different species become extinct every hour of every day. That’s over 26,000 a year. A truly staggering number, I am sure you’ll agree. And every single one of these extinctions is, of course, a tragedy, but, let’s be honest, we haven’t really noticed. When the last Bolivian centipede pops its hundred clogs it will be sad, but will make bugger all difference to our daily lives.

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