3 Dead Princes: An Anarchist Fairy Tale (3 page)

BOOK: 3 Dead Princes: An Anarchist Fairy Tale
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Walterbald opened the message:
My spies in Oosaria reveal their ships bring strange looking men from some newly discovered island south … the strangers are somehow beholden to Oosaria, for they allow themselves to be trained, by Prince Braggardio and Prince Toromos, as soldiers in the Oosarian guard. It smells like big trouble for us … will keep you birded … J.
 
 
 
Walterbald let out an audible sigh and rested his head in his hands on the table. “It is nothing less than I have been dreading,” he said, and passed the note to Geraldo.
 
“But strange looking men from the south? What could that mean?”
 
“There is so much unexplored in our world, Geraldo, and it seems that the Oosarians are pushing back the frontiers of discovery in the south with their boats, as we have done a little up north. It does not really surprise me that there are other peoples. But why on earth would they want to help the Oosarians?”
 
“Does this affect your immediate plans any?”
 
The King shook his head: “I will go, but keep me informed. In an emergency, Emmeur can bring me back in a single night. You reply to Jude. Any sign that Oosaria’s army is on the move and I’ll be back. I just need a little time. And, I know that Morainia is as safe in your hands as it would be in mine, Geraldo.”
 
The Vice-King smiled. “Your trust is not misplaced, Walt. Juggling the peculiarities of administration is what I love to do.”
 
“I know it is. All power to your elbow!”
 
“The Order be with you. Velocidad de siete estrellas!” smiled Geraldo.
 
“Sevenstarspeed!” returned the King putting his fist over his own heart, and then opening his arms to hug his deputy.
 
Walterbald carefully wrapped the wonderlook up in its protective layers and packed it with his other things in the saddlebag. He then sat down and wrote a note to the Queen. When he was done, he sealed it with wax, blew out the candles, and headed back upstairs.
 
He stopped by the kitchen, fumbling around by the counter. Then he carried on up to the top floor to look in on Stormy, who was sound asleep and snoring in a most un-princessly way. Smiling, he crept down to the royal bedroom. Gwynmerelda was also sleeping. He went and sat on the edge of the bed, gazing at her. He brushed a few stray hairs from her face, gently kissing her on the lips.
 
“Mmmmmm, I’ll miss you, too.” Without opening her eyes, the Queen mumbled something about him having a safe journey and fell back into deep sleep.
 
Gwynmerelda had an ability, amazing to the King, to be sound asleep, but take in anything said around her, and remember it perfectly the next day as if she had been awake. If she were talking in her sleep, as she sometimes did, then Walterbald could have a conversation with her, and in the morning she would tell him how he had come into her dreams and done this or said that.
 
He got up from the bed. “Trust me, Gwyn. It will all work out.” And though she did not reply, he felt sure she had got the message.
 
Chapter 3
 
DOES GOD GO TO THE TOILET?
 
W
hen Stormy had finally fallen asleep, it was mostly dreamless at the start of the night, completely peaceful in the deep-sleep middle, but then horrifically vivid in the darkest moments before dawn end.
 
As happens in dreams, Stormy sort-of-knew the lay of the land. But it was all skewed. And then, as with the most vivid dreams, new realms opened up altogether.
 
She was in the mountains, sort-of-familiar but slightly crookedy. And then the whole foreground lurched. She let out a shriek as she fell rumble tumble … into the old world.
 
It was dark, not the dark of night, but a gray, cloying unilluminated dimness, like the sun was shut out by a thundercloud of dust. It was cold, and Stormy hugged herself. She was still on the mountain, breathing heavily, and dark shapes circled above in the gloom, out of sight, but close enough for her to hear the leathery beat of their wings. As the sound receded, she could hear her own heart pounding like she had just run up the mountain trail. Somehow, some way, she knew she had to follow the trail up, up, up.
 
She knew she was looking for her father. Of course! He needed her help. Now she was half frantic, breaking into a run up the rocky path, her thoughts racing ahead of her, as they so often did, awake and in her dreams.
 
It suddenly became obvious where she was, in the way that dream logic dawns like a big bang explosion of imagination. There is nothing, and then in a sliver of a moment there is everything. Now it happened just like that.
 
All at once, Stormy simply knew she was inside
The Beginning Story
.
 
The Beginning Story
, also known as
The Catastory
, is the first chapter of the wangodmatist
Book of Life
; that is, the creation myth of Morainians and of all the western peoples. In a cracked nutshell it went like this:
 
The Wan God created the earth in the beginning of Time, along with all the stars and planets. Many thousands of summers later when He came to visit, He exhaled from His divine lungs bringing the air and wind to earth. Rubbing His hands together, He made dirt and threw it high into the sky to be carried by the winds. Then, opening His hands skyward, fingers outstretched in a commanding god-like (what else?) gesture, He scattered seeds far and wide.
 
Taking a flask that hung from His hip, He spun around in a circle showering the earth with rain. As He looked on in wonder, for He never ceased to be surprised by the beauty of creation, the sun appeared from behind a cloud, making a rainbow. In one final gesture, He cupped his gigantean hands in front of His lips, blew on them, and shook them for good measure once over each shoulder, like a celestion who had just won the Milky Way Marathon. He opened His palms skyward and allowed hosts of animals to hop, skip, and fly off into their new world.
 
Some millions of summers later when the Wan God returned, He was surprised to find that the animals had grown wild, and changed their shapes. They had become ravenous, and what was worse, disrespectful. When the Wan God commanded them, some sneered and snarled; some even laughed. None knew him. He knew that the bad seed had come to earth and prospered like He had never seen before.
 
Knowing what He must do, the Wan God brought down a punishment upon the animals of the earth. In His anger, He bellowed out loud and smashed His fists into the ground, causing volcanemons to spew forth, and earthquakes to rumble across the world. He commanded a firebolt from the stars that smashed into the earth with such force that the moon sprang from its shoulder. And with all the dust and dirt thrown into the air, a thousand-summer darkness reigned upon the earth. Speaking to the world as He departed, the Wan God said: “Know this darkness, beasts, and choke in it. But enjoy it while it lasts. For when the millennium is done, the Adaman will come and tame you and put you to work. And then you will know the wrath of the Wan God.”
 
Heavy stuff.
 
In her waking life, Stormy knew all about Adaman and the Ancient Ones who the Wan God put on the earth at the end of the dark times. She had heard the story a thousand times in church, and had read it herself from
The Book of Life
in the library.
 
Of course not everywan believed in the Wan God. Some people, The Fool for instance, thought there was a god for every occasion.
 
Stormy did not know what she believed when she was awake. Asleep she was completely adrift, and her more playful sleeping brain was having fun retelling the beginning story.
 
In this version, The Wan God was doing His rounds in space and needed to stop for a bite. Taking an unusual route through the Milky Way on His way back home, He just happened upon the Earth, no more than a barren rock, really, sort-of-down-aback-alley. He thought nothing particularly of it, and took out His packed lunch of bread and fishes. He drank water from His empyreal flask, and rested a while. Before setting off on the long journey home, He took a dump. Then, feeling refreshed and relaxed, He went on his merry way and thought nothing more about the earth. Unbeknown to the Wan God, He had picked the wrong place to do His business, for though the Wan God knew everything, He was a very busy man. His mind was on other things.
 
Well, after the Wan God had departed, His pee trickled away and formed the oceans. The seeds in His brown grew into plants and trees. And the worms (which the Wan God had been pretending to Himself that He did not have) crawled out of the brown and grew into the beasts.
 
Many thousands of summers later, in a clearing in the Great Forest, the Giggle Monkeys had fallen out, arguing over the punch line to a joke. Adamonkey had gone off in a huff. And it just so happened at this instant, by pure cosmological chance, a hefty meteorite slammed into the far side of the Earth, and then the great darkness befell the whole planet. Adamonkey found himself lost and wandering in the changed forest, until the sun shone again countless many summers later. However, during the dark times, Adamonkey had become transkinked. And while he was not the only beast to change shape, he emerged as the Adaman … Adaman being in both of the comparative theologies, the father of men, the first of the family of Ancient Ones.
 
In her dream Stormy knew all this in an instant. Remember, she was battling her way up the mountain, with unseen flying-reptile creatures flapping all around in the shadows, so recreating this whole story was a neat trick. She knew she was in
The Catastory
, the dark times, which is why the Giggle Monkey view of creation sort-of made dream sense to her. She was a girl, and she was looking for her father, and she and her dad were alive
during
the dark times. Then she realized this could not be. The way the
Book of Life
told it, the first people on the earth were born
after
the dark times had ended. They were the chosen people of the Wan God put upon the earth to bring calm to the chaos. To Stormy in her dream, the thought of living through the cataclysm was more shocking than the idea of the Wan God pushing cloth.
 
Stormy stopped, her chest heaving. The swirling dust felt almost alive inside her, making her cough. Gasping for breath, she set off again, only able to see twenty-or-so feet ahead of her, just enough to realize that the mountain path now wound along a steep cliff. Around and around she went, spiralling up the wet and slippery path on a sort-of-fairy-tale mountain. Finally she saw the mountaintop castle above. But in that instant, the castle morphed into a gaping black cave. An ear-splitting roar came from within, which seemed to shake the whole mountain.
 
Stormy stopped dead. She knew her father was inside.
 
Another roar. And then the owner of the roar emerged from the cave.
 
A huge black monster. A huge black cat.
BOOK: 3 Dead Princes: An Anarchist Fairy Tale
7.96Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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