4 Decoupage Can Be Deadly

BOOK: 4 Decoupage Can Be Deadly
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About Decoupage Can Be Deadly

 

An Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery

 

by Lois Winston

 

Anastasia and her fellow
American Woman
editors are steaming mad when minutes before the opening of a consumer show, they discover half their booth usurped by
Bling!
, their publisher’s newest magazine. CEO Alfred Gruenwald is sporting new arm candy—rapper-turned-entrepreneur and now
Bling!
executive editor
,
the
first-name-only
Philomena. During the consumer show, Gruenwald’s wife serves Philomena with an alienation of affection lawsuit, but Philomena doesn’t live long enough to show up in court. She’s found dead days later, stuffed in the shipping crate that held Anastasia’s decoupage crafts. When Gruenwald makes cash-strapped Anastasia an offer she can’t refuse, she wonders, does he really want to find Philomena’s killer or is he harboring a hidden agenda?

 

 

 

Decoupage Can Be Deadly

 

An Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery

 

by Lois Winston

 

Acclaim for the Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mysteries

 

Assault with a Deadly Glue Gun

 

“Crafty cozies don’t get any better than this hilarious confection...Anastasia is as deadpan droll as Tina Fey’s Liz Lemon, and readers can’t help cheering as she copes with caring for a host of colorful characters.” –
Publishers Weekly
(starred review)

 

“Winston has hit a homerun with this hilarious, laugh-until-your-sides-hurt tale. Oddball characters, uproariously funny situations, and a heroine with a strong sense of irony will delight fans of Janet Evanovich, Jess Lourey, and Kathleen Bacus. May this be the first of many in Winston’s Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery series.” –
Booklist
(starred review)

 

“A comic tour de force...Lovers of funny mysteries, outrageous puns, self-deprecating humor, and light romance will all find something here.” –
ForeWord Magazine
(Book of the Year nominee)

 

“North Jersey’s more mature answer to Stephanie Plum. Funny, gutsy, and determined, Anastasia has a bright future in the planned series.” –
Kirkus Reviews

 

“...a delightful romp through the halls of who-done-it.” –
The Star-Ledger

 

“Make way for Lois Winston’s promising new series...I’ll be eagerly awaiting the next installment in this thoroughly delightful series.” –
Mystery Scene Magazine

 

“...once you read the first few pages of Lois Winston’s first-in-series whodunit, you’re hooked for the duration...” –
Bookpage

 

“...madcap but tough-as-nails, no holds barred plot and main character...a step above the usual crafty cozy.” –
The Mystery Reader

 

“...Anastasia is, above all, a JERSEY girl..., and never, ever mess with one of them. I can’t wait ‘til the next book in this series...” –
Suspense Magazine

 

“Fans of Stephanie Plum will love Lois Winston’s cast of quirky, laughable, and loveable characters.
Assault with a Deadly Glue Gun
is clever and thoroughly entertaining—a must read!” – Brenda Novak,
New York Times
best-selling author.

 

“What a treat—I can’t stop laughing! Witty, wise, and delightfully clever, Anastasia is going to be your new best friend. Her mysterious adventures are irresistible—you’ll be glued to the page!” – Hank Phillippi Ryan, Agatha, Anthony, and Macavity award-winning author

 

“You think you’ve got trouble? Say hello to Anastasia Pollack, who also happens to be queen of the one-liners. Funny, funny, funny—this is a series you don’t want to miss!” – Kasey Michaels,
USA Today
best-selling author

 

Death by Killer Mop Doll

 

“Anastasia is a crafting Stephanie Plum, surrounded by characters sure to bring chuckles as she careens through the narrative, crossing paths with the detectives assigned to the case and snooping around to solve it.” –
Booklist

 

“Several crafts projects, oodles of laughs and an older, more centered version of Stephanie Plum.” –
Kirkus Reviews

 

“In Winston’s droll second cozy featuring crafts magazine editor Anastasia Pollack...readers who relish the offbeat will be rewarded.” –
Publishers Weekly

 

“...a
30 Rock
vibe...Winston turns out another lighthearted amateur sleuth investigation. Laden with one-liners, Anastasia’s second outing (after
Assault With a Deadly Glue Gun
) points to another successful series in the works.” –
Library Journal

 

“Winston...plays for plenty of laughs...while letting Anastasia shine as a risk-taking investigator who doesn’t always know when to quit.” –
Alfred Hitchcock Mystery Magazine

 

Revenge of the Crafty Corpse

 

“Winston peppers the twisty and slightly edgy plot with humor and plenty of craft patterns. Fans of craft mysteries will like this, of course, but so will those who enjoy the smart and snarky humor of Janet Evanovich, Laura Levine, and Laura DeSilverio.” –
Booklist

 

“Winston’s entertaining third cozy plunges Anastasia into a surprisingly fraught stew of jealousy, greed, and sex...” and a “Sopranos-worthy lineup of eccentric character...” –
Publishers Weekly

 

“Winston provides a long-suffering heroine, amusing characters, a...good mystery and a series of crafting projects featuring cloth yo-yos.” –
Kirkus Reviews

 

“A fun addition to a series that keeps getting stronger.” –
Romantic Times Magazine

 

“Chuckles begin on page one and the steady humor sustains a comedic crafts cozy, the third (after
Death by Killer Mop Doll
)... Recommend for Chris Grabenstein (“John Ceepak” series) and Jess Lourey readers.” –
Library Journal

 

“You'll be both surprised and entertained by this terrific mystery. I can't wait to see what happens in the Pollack household next.” –
Suspense Magazine

 

“The book has what a mystery should...It moves along at a good pace...Like all good sleuths, Anastasia pieces together what others don’t...The book has a fun twist...and it’s clear that Anastasia, the everyday woman who loves crafts and desserts, and has a complete hottie in pursuit, will return to solve another murder and offer more crafts tips...” –
Star-Ledger

Also by Lois Winston

 

Talk Gertie to Me

 

Elementary, My Dear Gertie

 

Love, Lies and a Double Shot of Deception

 

Assault with a Deadly Glue Gun

 

Death by Killer Mop Doll

 

Crewel Intentions

 

Revenge of the Crafty Corpse

 

Mosaic Mayhem

 

Once Upon a Romance

 

Top Ten Reasons Your Novel is Rejected

 

Romance Super Bundle

a boxed set of ten romances by ten authors

 

Writing as Emma Carlyle

 

Hooking Mr. Right

 

Finding Hope

 

Four Uncles and a Wedding

 

Lost in Manhattan

 

Someone to Watch Over Me

 

 

 

 

Decoupage Can Be Deadly
copyright 2013 by Lois Winston. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

 

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, locations, or events is coincidental or fictionalized.

 

 

Cover design by L. Winston

 

Dedication

 

For Jack, Zoe, and Chase
 

who have left permanent handprints on my heart

 

Acknowledgments

 

To my family: Rob, Chris, Scott, Jen, Megan, and the very special trio mentioned in the dedication.

 

To Irene Peterson and Donnell Bell for their second and third sets of eyes that caught what my own eyes missed.

 

To Sue Evens for her Malice Domestic donation which entitled her to be named as a character in this book.

 

To Sandy Sechrest for her Bouchercon donation which entitled her to be named as a character in this book.

 

For offering her expertise during the research phase of
Decoupage Can Be Deadly
, special thanks to attorney Barbara Doyle Frentz.

 

And finally, to Michael “The Gluologist” Assile of Beacon Adhesives for allowing me to use his experience with the consumer who broke a tooth.

 

 

 

 

ONE

 

“What happened?” I stopped short at the entrance to our exhibition booth. My fellow
American Woman
editors and I had spent all day yesterday at the Jacob Javits Convention Center, setting up for the
Celebrating Women
weekend consumer show. Now half our booth had been usurped, our carefully coordinated displays missing.

“Not what. Who,” said food editor Cloris McWerther.

“Philomena.” Travel editor Serena Brower practically spat out the name.

“Obnoxious people deserve a slow, painful death,” said fashion editor Tessa Lisbon. She stood with hands on hips. Her perfectly painted, collagen-enhanced scarlet lips, deep in pout mode, matched the anger flaming on her cheeks.

Cloris turned to me and stage-whispered, “Not to spout clichés, but doesn’t that fall under the heading of the pot calling the kettle black?”

Having an obnoxious personality was pretty much a pre-requisite for the job of fashion editor at
American Woman
. However, Philomena Campanello, the target of everyone’s ire belonged in the category of über-obnoxious.

“It’s called
chutzpah
,” said health editor Janice Kerr.

“Brass balls,” added decorating editor Jeanie Sims.

“Same difference,” said finance editor Sheila Conway.

I corrected them all. “No ladies, it’s called sleeping with the CEO.”

“Score one for our crafts editor,” said Cloris.

I, Anastasia Pollack, being the crafts editor in question, executed a mock bow, then turned to Naomi Dreyfus, our editorial director. “So what do we do now?”

Naomi threw her hands up in the air. Little ever rattled the Grace Kelly perfection of our serene editorial director, but even she sported deep frown lines as we surveyed the devastation. “We make the best of a crappy situation for the next two days.”

Trimedia, our parent company, was a major sponsor of the
Celebrating Women
show, with a display area that spanned both sides of the long center aisle at the convention center.
American Woman
, the monthly magazine responsible for our weekly paychecks, had been assigned four consecutive spaces, forty linear feet, on one side of the aisle. The remaining space was divided up between the rest of Trimedia’s holdings that catered to women TV viewers, radio listeners, and magazine readers.

BOOK: 4 Decoupage Can Be Deadly
2.71Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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