A Baby in the Bunkhouse (10 page)

Jacey rose and went to the bathroom that connected her room with the baby's. Gesturing for Rafferty to follow, she tiptoed through the bathroom and into the nursery on the other side. Caitlin was sleeping peacefully in her bassinet. They stood, side by side, looking down at her fondly, the tenderness flowing between them almost palpable.

Rafferty really was going to make an excellent father one day, Jacey thought as the two of them quietly exited the room.

“Have you given any more thought to my offer to be her godfather?” Rafferty asked, looking around amiably at the makeshift sewing center she had set up in her bedroom. A folding banquet table from the storeroom served as her work space, while the writing desk beneath the window held his mother's sewing machine.

Jacey pinned the tissue-paper stocking pattern to the holiday-quilt remnant she had picked up at the fabric store in town.

Trying not to think what it would be like to be tied to Rafferty that way, to count on him to protect, love and watch over her child, she said quietly, “I've thought about it a lot, actually.”

All afternoon, during dinner with the fellas in the bunkhouse and as she rocked Caitlin to sleep a short while ago.

He rested his hands on the top of a wing chair in the corner. “You're going to turn me down, aren't you?”

He looked disappointed.

She couldn't blame him.

She was disappointed, too.

Aware her heart was racing at his nearness, Jacey picked up a pair of fabric shears and cut around the preprinted shape, being careful to follow the lines. “I appreciate the offer.”

“But…?”

“I can't help but think it's one of those promises made in haste that you might someday come to regret. Especially if one of us marries and has other obligations to spouse and children.”

He did not appear as if he considered that much of a worry. “What if we don't?”

“You really need to think about this. Make sure that it's not just the need to feel close to someone, if only through the holidays…that's prompting you to do this.”

“It's not the holidays. You, of all people, should know that.”

“Okay, then your natural gallantry…coming to the fore.”

“I'm not
that
nice of a person, Jacey. I wouldn't offer to be godfather to any kid. Caitlin is special—”

“Which is why we shouldn't do anything rash.” Jacey set down her sewing shears and looked Rafferty in the eye.

Seeming to realize she was right—this was too much of a commitment, too soon—Rafferty backed off. “All right. I see your point. Just know that my offer stands. If you ever change your mind—or need anything—I'll be around,” he promised.

“I appreciate that. It's always good to have backup.” And who knew, Jacey thought wistfully, maybe someday…the time and the situation would be right for her to accept such an offer from Rafferty.

Silence filled the room.

Rafferty studied the fabric she'd already cut out. “Nine,” he counted, “which means…”

“I'm making stockings for everyone,” Jacey said, glad to talk about something else. “Even one for you, seeing as how I'm going to win our bet and all.” She chuckled as the flirtatious mood between them deepened. “I'm going to monogram the names on, too. What should yours say? Ebenezer?”

He gave her an amused once-over. “Very funny.”

She tingled in every place his eyes had touched, and some places they hadn't. “You're right,” she drawled. “Scrooge is much sexier.”

Rafferty grinned, obviously reading way too much in what she'd just said. “So you think I'm sexy, do you?”

She held up a hand, ignoring the ornery slant to his mouth. “I know we talked about furthering our—”

He flashed her a satisfied look. “Lessons?”

She sighed in exasperation. “Is that what you call it?”

“Exploration?” he tried again.

“Foolhardiness,” she corrected once again.

Disappointment turned his eyes a dark blue. “You're not having second thoughts.”

“Actually…I am.”

I could fall in love with you, Rafferty Evans. I'm just beginning to realize how much.

“I guess I don't blame you for that. We haven't even been on a date.”

She retreated into politeness. “Which would make it even more complicated, don't you think?”

“Nothing wrong with being complicated. Given the fact that we're both intelligent enough to handle complex situations.”

And feelings, Jacey thought. Especially the feelings. “True, but I'm also extremely hormonal. Not to mention…sentimental, confused, overly emotional and unemployed in my chosen field.”

He flashed her a look that said he would challenge her views in his own way, own time. “So maybe it's time you did something else, lived another place, another way.”

“If my sister Mindy could hear you now.”

“She'd say?”

“You were a very bad influence.”

“Speaking of bad influences.” Winking, he took her in his arms.

Her breath caught. “Rafferty.”

He lowered his head. “Just one kiss, Jacey. One simple little kiss.”

Jacey wanted him, so much, but they couldn't continue, not unless…

“Whoa there, cowboy,” she said firmly. “Before this goes any further, we need to talk about how it's going to be—and set some ground rules.”

Instinct told Rafferty that allowing Jacey to think too much about what was happening between them at this fragile juncture in their relationship would ruin something that was starting to be very, very good. An even bigger mistake would be not allowing her to have her say. “I'm listening.”

“First of, all, if this—whatever it is between us—evolves into something more…we both need to know it's not going to ever be more than a fling.”

Rafferty did not want to agree to that, but given the way she was looking at him, it didn't make sense to counter. “Okay.”

“Second, it's got to be private. No one can know about this.”

“Agreed.”

She splayed her hands across his chest. “I'm a very private person.”

He nodded, serious. “So am I.”

“Third…” She paused to moisten her lips. “If whatever happens next turns out not to meet our expectations, there'll be no hard feelings. We'll just forget about it and go on as if nothing ever happened.”

Rafferty didn't know how that was going to be possible. He got hard every time he thought about kissing her. And that was
all
the time. Working to keep the triumph out of his voice, he asked, “And what if it exceeds all expectations?”

She relaxed. “Then we'll take it day by day, and enjoy what we can, when we can, without anyone ever finding out we're together until I leave the ranch.”

He had hoped she had forgotten about that. Hoped, in fact, she and the baby would stay indefinitely….

“And fourth…” she continued sternly.

Exasperation got the better of him. He flattened one hand against her spine, brought her closer still. “Enough rules.”

“But…”

He was afraid if she continued she would talk herself out of it. Threading his other hand through the hair at the nape of her neck, he lowered his lips to hers. “This is the only rule we need.”

He cut off whatever she was about to say next with a hot, steamy kiss.

“And what rule would that be?”

“When something feels this good—”
and this right,
he added silently “—you don't question it, Jacey. You just go with it.”

And go with it he did. He kissed her until she wanted him and let him know it. Until the bedroom grew hot and close and need took over once again. She drew his tongue even farther into her mouth, and arched against him, pressing her breasts against his chest…burying her hands in his hair.

This may have started as a flirtation, a mutual yearning that had to be satisfied, but over the days and nights that had followed, it had swiftly evolved into something much more important. The truth was, he wanted Jacey the way he had never wanted any woman. And more significantly, he needed her just as desperately.

Sliding his hands beneath her knit top, he swept it off. She flushed shyly and he knew he had his work cut out for him if he wanted her to be as sexually at ease with him as he wanted her to be. Admiring the silky golden glow of her skin, he un-fastened the bra and drew it over her shoulders, baring her delicate, maternal beauty to his view.

“Rafferty…”

“Let me look, Jacey. You're beautiful. So beautiful…” His whole body tightened as he caressed the curves of her breasts, her pearling nipples and the shadowy valley in between. Inhaling the sweet scent of her, he slid ever downward. Tasting the silky stretch of skin across her ribs, he dipped his tongue into her navel.

Her whole body straining against him, she gave a little cry as he swept her knit lounge pants and panties down and off, ran his palms across her thighs and gently parted her legs.

The softness of her body giving new life to his, he took her to a pleasure-filled place, until her pulse was beating as rapidly as his.

They moved to the bed.

His clothes were removed as easily as hers.

And then all was lost in the long, steady climb, until he met his goal and her body took up an urgent rhythm all its own. Her pinnacle caught him by surprise, as did her soft cry, the utter lack of restraint. Satisfaction roaring through him, he held her until the aftershocks passed, then moved upward swiftly.

She looked so beautiful in her passion, so ripe and womanly with her cheeks flushed, her lips damp and open. He felt himself responding wildly. He wanted to make her all his, wanted to prolong the pleasure the best way he knew how.

And that was when Jacey took the lead, opened her legs all the more, put her hands on his hips and brought him the rest of the way home, not stopping until he was surrounded by sweet, silky warmth. Lost in the swirling passion, he lifted her hips and went deeper still. Loving her fiercely, stroking her with his hands, kissing her all the while, until she was just as caught up as he. And they were consumed in the swift rise to oblivion and the softer, sweeter aftermath.

Jacey lay on her back, eyes shut. So this was what it felt like to have an orgasm when a man was deep inside you, she thought. What it felt like to be wrapped up in pleasure so thick and all-encompassing it felt as if you were floating in a cocoon of love.

She had never given herself over so completely to anyone, and even as she continued to shudder with aftershocks, she didn't know quite what to make of it.

Was this simply good sex? The kind everyone raved about? The kind of fierce longing and completion that made people lose their heads…and hearts? Or was it something more?

She didn't know. Wasn't sure, at this point, she cared.

All she knew was that it had been so good, Rafferty had made her feel so uninhibited, so complete, so at peace, she wanted to do it all over again. So when he reached for her, kissed his way down her throat and whispered, “Let me love you again, Jacey,” she forgot all her rules, forgot the need to be cautious, and simply did.

 

“C
HRISTMASTIME SURE AGREES
with you,” Stretch said the next morning over breakfast.

“You haven't stopped smiling since you walked in here this morning,” Curly added.

“That's 'cause cooking for you fellas makes me happy,” Jacey replied, and it was true. That wasn't the reason she couldn't stop smiling, though. And the boss knew it, which was why she hadn't been able to look at him without fear of giving everything away.

Keeping their reckless tryst a secret was going to be a lot harder than she had ever imagined. And not just because she'd never experienced desire anywhere near that satisfying, but because, somehow, her heart had become involved—to a dangerous degree.

If she wasn't careful, she knew she could imagine herself in love with Rafferty Evans.

And that couldn't happen.

The two of them were too dissimilar to ever consider anything more than simply hooking up temporarily. If they were smart, that is.

“You all need to hurry up,” Rafferty ordered, gruffer and more impatient than ever. “We got a lot of fence to ride today.”

Five minutes later, all the serving platters were scraped clean. The men cleared the table and carried everything to the bunkhouse kitchen. Jacey had their sack lunches ready to go.

A doting Eli reluctantly handed Caitlin back to Jacey. “I wish I could hang out with you all day and hold the baby,” he said, “but this is one activity they need my help on.”

“We always need you, Dad,” Rafferty said, clapping a hand on Eli's shoulder.

“Uh-huh. Seems to me this ranch is running fine without me most of the time.”

“If so, it's because I had a great teacher,” Rafferty said.

He and his dad exchanged smiles that left Jacey unexpectedly aching for her mother, and the father she never knew. She ducked her head, working to contain her emotion as the men trooped out.

The bunkhouse was extraordinarily quiet.

Too quiet, really.

Quiet to the point of being lonely.

Jacey pressed a kiss to the top of Caitlin's head and settled her into the wind-up swing to watch, while Jacey did the dishes.

The door to the bunkhouse opened.

Rafferty strode back in.

Her heart skipped a beat.

They hadn't had a moment alone since he had left her bed the night before, well before his father got back from town.

“Forget something?” Jacey asked.

Rafferty nodded and kept coming toward her. He took her by the shoulders and tugged her close. “This.”

Jacey saw the kiss coming, knew if she was smart she would have avoided it. She wasn't smart where Rafferty was concerned. She was reckless. Foolishly vulnerable and needy—everything she had sworn never to be.

Her previous relationships had been sensible and comfortable. This interaction with Rafferty was anything but practical. It was skyrockets and fireworks and the sweet taste of peppermint melting on her tongue. It was hot, sexy male coupled with a newly awakened woman, and heaven help her, she did not know what to do to get it back under control.

Finally, when her senses were swimming with the taste, touch and feel of him, he lifted his head.

She swallowed. “I thought we were going to keep this quiet.” Kissing like this—in the bunkhouse of all places—was reckless as all get-out!

The look he gave her was unapologetic. “Caitlin won't tell.”

Jacey aimed a playful punch at the center of his chest. “You know what I mean, cowboy.”

He smiled and sifted his fingers through her hair. “They're all out on the ranch, looking for fence in need of repair.”

And she was already in way, way over her head. Falling hard for a man who couldn't even bring himself to celebrate Christmas. “Then what are you doing here?” she asked, stepping back slightly.

He caught her wrist before she could make her escape, lifted her hand and kissed the back of her knuckles. “I've got a phone call to make.”

The simple touch threw her senses into a riot, made her think of trembling bodies and damp, rumpled sheets. “Is that what you were doing?”

He tugged her closer still. “I will be, as soon as we're done here. And the cowboys were right,” he continued tenderly. “You are beautiful this morning, extraordinarily so.”

She wondered what it would be like if they had met some other time, some other way. Her breath came even more erratically. “Listen, Rafferty, I know what you're thinking—”

“Do you?”

“—but that's not going to get you back in the sack with me.” Not today. Not again, until they both had time to absorb what had happened and make sure this was what they both wanted.

He rubbed his thumb across her lower lip. “I don't want to be back in the sack with you this morning.” His voice deepened. “When that happens again, I want to be able to take my time.”

She wanted that, too. Struggling to get her emotions under control, Jacey murmured. “Like you did last night.”

He leaned down, so his face was next to hers. “Like
we
did last night.”

It was all she could do not to throw herself at him again.

His eyes darkened. “Seriously, Jacey, I don't know if I can do this—keep it quiet. 'Cause right now I want to shout it to the world.”

“I think we have to,” she said. “At least until after the holidays and we see if this is going to be more than a fling.”

He shook his head ruefully. “You insist on having one foot out the door.”

“Taking this one day at a time is the only way I'm going to be comfortable.”

“Okay,” he said gently. “I can see I'm rushing you…so I'll pull back.”

“Thank you.”

“I still want to spend time with you, Jacey.”

She wanted that, too. She just didn't think it was wise until she sorted out her feelings. “You know what will happen if we're alone.”
What always happened when they were alone.

He shrugged. “Then bring Caitlin.”

Jacey gave Rafferty an admonishing look. “She's proven to be a very poor chaperone. All she does is eat and sleep.”

“And smile and cuddle. And make everyone else smile, too.”

The tenderness in his tone made her heart melt. “The fellas do love her,” Jacey conceded. Every cowboy on the ranch, from Eli down to the youngest hand, seemed to have a soft spot for her daughter.

“We all love her, Jacey,” Rafferty reiterated. He looked her in the eye. “Just as we're all fond of you. But that's not what you and I are talking about, and you know it.”

Yes, she did. She just didn't know what to do.

“At the very least, you and I should be able to spend time together as friends. Say, on Saturday?”

Jacey bit her lip, aware his persistence was wearing her down. “It would have to be in a way that doesn't draw undue attention.”

He leaned forward to kiss her quickly, said confidently, “Leave that to me.”