Authors: Lorraine Nelson
A Cowgirl's Pride (10 page)
“I haven’t read much in recent years. Roddy
called it a waste of time so, to avoid the hassles, I let it go. This….” She swirled
a hand out to encompass the entire room. “…makes me feel like a kid at
Christmas.”
“You always did enjoy reading.”
“Yes.” All of a sudden, she felt shy and awkward
in his presence.
“Are you all right, Lee?”
She nodded. “I’m fine; it’s just that this feels
a little weird.”
“Being alone with me?”
“Yes, partly.”
“What’s the other part?” he asked in a soft
voice as he drew closer. “Have you missed me at all? Have you spent your days hoping
to catch a glimpse of me? Your nights longing for my touch? Tell me, Leah. What
has this time apart been like for you?”
He was close enough to touch, but she didn’t
dare. That’s all it would take to melt into his embrace, to erase all the
lonely yesterdays as if they had never been. She no longer felt as if she
deserved him and Cal, her sweet, gentle cowboy, didn’t deserve to be stuck with
another man’s child to raise.
“We can’t go back,
changed. No matter what we had once, it isn’t there anymore, but I do value
your friendship.”
He seemed to study her face. Looking for the
truth to match her words? She wasn't sure, but stood silently before him.
“I don’t believe you.”
She saw his gaze focus on her lips, felt the
heat as her body responded to his nearness. She swallowed twice to wet her
parched throat before she dared speak, but didn’t get the chance.
embrace, his mouth covering hers in an instant. Oh, how she’d yearned for his
touch all those long, lonely years. To be in his arms now was akin to heaven. She
dare not remain or she’d succumb to the want—the need—aching inside her and
never let go.
Pushing against his chest, she broke free. “Your
kisses always did set me on fire, and that hasn’t changed one iota, but it’s
not good for us to get involved again. You can believe whatever you please,
in store for us as a couple.”
“Because I’m a hired hand?”
His tone was almost a sneer. Reverse snobbery?
From
all people?
“No, because you deserve better than what you’d
be getting with me. I’m pregnant,
Her words proved more effective than a douche of
cold water. Shock, reflected in his eyes, his face, his entire demeanor, had
him stepping back a pace or two. He scanned her still slim figure with his eyes
and shook his head slowly from side to side.
“What are you going to do with it?”
Anger, red-hot and seething, filled her brain at
the callous words. “
It
happens to be
my flesh and blood. My child. Are you suggesting I get rid of it?”
“No, I just meant to ask what your plans are. Becoming
a single parent will be tough. Have you made any plans? Staying here or going
back to
“Ha! No
tougher than the life I’ve led these past few years.” Her heartbeat slowed,
became normal again. “I hadn’t thought much beyond getting away from Roddy, returning
home. I have money saved and thought of building a little house down by the
creek.”
He smiled. “Nope, your uncle
“That creek runs for miles. I thought the area
near the waterfall would be nice.”
“Phew! That’s quite a ways back with some steep
drop-offs. Not the best area to raise a child.”
“It’s a beautiful spot to raise a child,
especially with a fenced in yard during the early years.”
“Yeah, that could work, but why not build closer
to the homestead?”
“I need my privacy and so do Luke and Zakia. There’s
not much I can do until spring. I’ll figure it out by then.”
“When is the baby due?”
“June or July. I’m not sure.”
He nodded. “Plenty of time yet to make plans. If
you need my help, let me know.”
“Thanks,
“Well, I’d better get back to work. Anytime you
need someone to talk to, I’m here for you.”
“I know, Cal. Thanks again.”
He gave her a quick hug and went out the door.
She locked it behind him and stood there watching until he was out of sight.
Before she knew what was happening, the trickle of tears ran down her cheeks. She’d
loved that man once and had walked away to fulfill her own selfish interests.
Would she be able to keep her distance and allow him a chance at love with
someone else? She’d been gone a long time. Why hadn’t he married? And why did
that thought twist her stomach into knots?
* * * *
Pregnant!
He couldn’t believe she’d come home carrying
another man’s child. What was he supposed to do now? He’d waited all these
years for her return only to receive a figurative slap in the face. Anger and disbelief
warred with the love he felt for her. Love or lust? She was even more beautiful
than he remembered, and her curves had filled out nicely. He stopped to wonder
how he could still love her when he didn’t even know her anymore?
She’s a dancer. Didn’t dancers strive to keep
their figures perfect? Why would she chance getting pregnant and lose it all?
Unless she grew tired of show business, but he couldn’t see that happening. Not
with Leah. Ever since he’d known her, she’d lived and breathed music and dance.
Every time they’d made love, there had been music playing in the background,
spurring them on, building them to a higher level of passion with each touch,
each kiss, each thrust.
His dreams of her return were all about reconciliation—a
reaffirmation of their love for each other, a new start, marriage, babies…he
wanted it all. At least this time around, they wouldn’t have to hide from her
father and brother. Was he man enough to accept another man’s child? Could he
live every day with a constant reminder that she’d lain with someone other than
him?
His heart desperately wanted to say yes, but his
mind hadn’t come around to that yet. The child would be her flesh and blood, as
she’d pointed out, and Leah didn’t intend for the father to be involved. Would he
be able to love and care for it as his own? Or would he regret having to
shoulder the responsibility…as his step-father had. Frank had never had time
for him, except to berate him and mete out punishment when he’d come home late
or something wasn’t done good enough.
his
baby and he just didn’t know.
Maybe he should take a run into town and talk to
his mother. This wasn’t a conversation to be had over the phone. Would Frank be
home? He’d have to chance it.
His decision made, he showered and changed, then
jumped into his four-wheel drive Chevy Silverado. The maintenance crews had
been out and plowed the roads, but the wind was strong. As he drove into town,
the four-wheel drive came in handy in places where the snow drifted quite
heavily.
Frank and Bonnie Murphy lived in an upscale area
of
with fancy trim around the upper and lower balconies facing the street. He
preferred the back deck overlooking the Fort. Many times as a child, he’d gone
out there to watch the officers coming and going and dream of being a cop or a
soldier one day. That was before he discovered his love of horses.
Leah’s family had been hosting a rodeo that year,
and she’d invited him along.
rodeo finished, Leah took him around to introduce him to her father, brother, her
Uncle Cam, and the horses.
bull-riding event, and Luke placed second in calf roping.
Nervous at meeting her family, his fascination
with the horses had him asking questions and settling in amongst the Mannings
and their horses as they talked. He remembered picking up a currycomb and
brushing down one of the horses as he stood there.
“Where’d ya learn to tend a horse, boy?” Lucas
asked.
“Sorry, sir. Am I doing something wrong?”
“Nope, you’re doin’ fine. Where ya from?”
“I live in town.”
“A city boy? I don’t believe it.”
“Yep, a city boy who loves horses. I’m still in
school, but I could use a job.”
“Is that so? Mornin’s, evenin’s, weekends?”
“Any time you need me. I have my driver’s
license and my own wheels.”
Lucas had looked him over good, and Leah even
stepped in on his behalf.
“Please, Daddy. He’s my friend, and he needs a
job.”
mornin’ at six. If you’re late, don’t bother comin’.”
“Yes, sir. I’ll be here.”
Anxious to start off on the right foot, he showed
up at five thirty that first morning, only to be left cooling his heels in the
yard until six, when Lucas emerged from the house. His mouth dropped open in
shock when Lucas said, “You should’a come in for coffee instead of waitin’
around out here.”
since. He smiled at the unintended pun.
If only the current situation with Leah could be
handled with the same steadfast decision-making and determination. Arriving at
his mother’s house, he was disappointed, yet strangely relieved, when there was
no answer to his knock on the door.
* * * *
She no longer felt like reading, but for a lack
of anything better to do, Leah sat in front of the fire and opened the book she
still held in her hands. It was a miracle she hadn’t mutilated it in her anxiety
during the conversation with
It wasn’t easy to hold him off when what she
really wanted to do was jump his bones. Her gaze had kept straying to the
handmade bear rug in front of the fire. She wondered what her grandfather would
say if he was privy to her thoughts.
He’d shot the grizzly and cured the pelt himself
when it attacked the herd one spring. She’d only been a little girl then, maybe
six or seven, but could remember being equally fascinated
and
terrified whenever she came in and saw the rug lying on the
floor. These days it served to remind her of his caring and patience when
answering her thousand and one questions. She could always count on her Grandpa
Manning for an honest answer and talked to him about everything under the sun…well,
almost. When he died of cancer during her senior year of high school, she’d
been devastated, yet relieved that his suffering was over. Oftentimes she still
ached for his loving support, wishing he was alive, none more so than right
now.
She allowed the book to close as she rested her
head against the chair’s back. What would he think of
his work ethics, but would he approve of
said you could tell a man’s worth by the way he treated his horse. There was
none better than
The man loved horses. Whether he was riding them or mucking out stalls, he’d
always been content.
And boy, could he ride! He took to it as if he’d
been born in the saddle. They used to race across the fields after the chores
were seen to, her thrilled just to watch him. He sat so straight in the saddle,
his hands firm but gentle on the reins as the slight pressure from his knees
guided the horse. His beloved Stetson, given to him by her father at the end of
that first day, added to the allure. He was
her
cowboy, and she loved him then. Did she still?
She set the book aside and rose to place another
stick of hardwood on the fire, then stood there watching the flames jump and dance.
Her gaze lifted to the portrait hanging above the mantle—her grandfather. A
simple man, he’d carved an existence out of the barren landscape; a wise man
with intelligence and merriment shining from his eyes, captured forever by the
artist.
Oh, Grandpa!
I’ve made such a mess of my life and brought trouble home. What should I do?
What can I do to make things right? I treated
doing that again, but how can I expect him to pay for my mistakes? If I’d
stayed home, it could be his child inside me, not Roddy’s. That changes
everything. Maybe I should have stayed gone.
“No, girlie. You did right in coming home.”
“Grandpa?”
Was
she hearing things? Had he really spoken to her?
