A Million Kisses or More (26 page)

“Carrie,” he returned, just as politely with an equally tight smile.

If Ana had thought Carrie was stunning the first time they met, the woman was positively magnificent now. Her makeup was perfectly done, making her look glowing and polished without appearing to have hardly any makeup on at all. When Carrie peeled off her jacket, Ana had to bite her tongue to keep from swallowing it. The woman had the body of a pin up model and she showcased it in a tight black sheath dress that left little to the imagination. Subtle gold jewelry completed the posh look.

Carrie had shared Harrison’s bed and given birth to his child and she looked like a frickin’ goddess. Discreetly, Ana glanced down at her clothes and inwardly cringed. When she had gotten dressed, she thought the simple blue dress was perfect for a family dinner but now that she saw Carrie…. She glanced around at the rest of Harrison’s family and wanted to crawl into a hole. Everyone was dressed in their very best, as if they were going out to dinner at a fancy restaurant instead of eating a fucked up Thanksgiving meal at home.

Pasting a smile on her face, Ana greeted everyone and pretended not to care that she looked like a hobo begging for scraps. Tugging at the neckline of her dress, smoothing her hand over her less-than-perfect bun, Ana tried really hard not to fidget but it wasn’t working. Maybe she could run across the street and change clothes, put on the dress she had bought for New Year’s Eve. It had been a splurge and she had been looking forward to wearing it to ring in the New Year but it might be better to wear it now. She could splurge a second time for a different dress….

God, no, she couldn’t. But she could fix her hair at least.

“Ana, you look beautiful,” Harrison whispered into her ear, wrapping his hand around hers and squeezing it. “Just relax.”

“I think I left the oven on,” she blurted, tugging at her hand to escape the sea of pretty people. Her palms were starting to sweat and her blood was starting to drown out the sound and everyone’s words were starting to blend together. God, she hated this, hated feeling completely at sea when surrounded by people. It was different when she was working because she knew what to say, how to interact. But this…. This was torture.

It had been ages since she had last had a full blown panic attack and for some reason she thought she had outgrown them. Apparently not because she was in the midst of one right now and if she didn’t get some air, she’d probably die.

Harrison chuckled, tightening his hold on her hand when she tried to make a run for it. “The oven is off, sweetheart.”

“Still, I think I should check,” she said, turning her head and looking up at him. “That way you can catch up with your family and I can breathe.”

Reaching up, he touched her cheek and let his eyes move over her face as his expression turned to concern. After a moment, he nodded his head, “Take a breath but hurry back. I want you to meet some of my family’s friends.”

It took her a moment to remember that there were even more people coming, including his cousins. Pressing a hand against her stomach, she thought she was going to be sick. As nice as it was to be surrounded by friends and family on the holidays, it was a little much for her. She should have started with a smaller holiday, like National Pancake Day. Giving him a quick kiss, she grabbed her coat and made her escape.

And suddenly wished she had stayed when she saw her mother standing outside the door to her aunt’s house ringing the doorbell. Even from that distance, her mom looked amazing with her short strawberry blond hair perfectly curled and set and her makeup flawlessly applied. Instead of looking like a mother, her mom looked like Ana’s slightly older sister. Unlike Ana, Heather was prepared for the cold weather with a heavy wool jacket that came to the top of her stylish leather boots. Ana could see her mother’s grimace as the woman continued to press the doorbell.

Rushing across the street, Ana grabbed her mom’s hand and breathlessly asked, “What are you doing here?”

“Ana,” Heather Smithfield said, looking around with an expression of confusion on her beautiful face. “Where did you come from?”

“What are you doing here?” Ana asked again, her eyes darting to Harrison’s house across the street. Which one would be the lesser evil: a house full of beautiful people, one of whom probably wished her dead, or a house with just one other person who happened to be her mother?

As they stood in silence, more cars pulled up to Harrison’s and another five or six people entered his house, including Asher, and Ana’s heart quivered in panic. Turning back to her mom, she said, “I thought you were going to spend the holidays in Sweden.”

“
Switzerland
but that’s irrelevant because those plans have been delayed,” her mom said, swishing her hand through the air. Her smile was unnaturally tight as she continued, “I figured you and I could spend the day together and… talk.

“I have plans,” Ana muttered, wincing at her cold words because she
had
invited her mom to join her for Thanksgiving, she just wasn’t sure she was ready to… talk. Stuffing the key into the lock and opening the door, she hoped to get her mom inside before she started asking too many questions. With a frown, Ana asked, “Where’s your car?”

“I took a taxi from the airport,” her mom answered. She glanced across the street and grimaced at all of the cars that were parked on the driveway and in the street. “Those are the neighbors you told me about?”

“Yes,” Ana answered, grabbing her mom’s arm and tugging her into the house. She hadn’t reset the temperature so it wasn’t terribly cold in the house, but inside, she was still frozen. Except her heart was racing a million miles an hour as she tried to figure out what the hell she was going to do. “Did you decide not to take the job?”

“No, I’ve just postponed it,” Heather answered slowly, her attention a million miles away. Even though the door was closed, Ana was trying everything in her power to distract her mom from anything that might include the neighbor’s house with all of the cars. But then Ana looked at her mom, truly looked, and her breath caught in her throat. Her mom’s wistful expression was even more wistful than usual, bordering on deep sadness. Offering a smile that didn’t reach her eyes, Heather murmured, “I decided to spend the holidays with you.”

“I wish you would have called so I could have been here when you arrived,” Ana said, tugging her mom’s coat off before taking her own coat off. She’d have to call Harrison and explain that there had been a change of plans and hope he’d be too busy making sure everyone was fed to ask too many questions. Glancing around the room, she put her hands on her hips as she scowled at nothing. “Where are your bags?”

“They’re on the porch, Anavrin,” Heather answered with a bemused grin as she sat down on the couch and made herself at home. “In the smaller bag are several bottles of wine. I figured I’d provide the alcohol since your idea of buying wine is whether or not the bottle is pretty.”

“Since I don’t drink wine, that seems to be the best way to buy it,” Ana managed, pulling the door open to see the three large bags sitting there that she had somehow missed in her rush to get her mom inside. Glancing at Harrison’s house, hoping no one was looking out the front window, she grabbed the bags and lugged them inside, possibly pulling one of her muscles in the process. “Jeeze, mom, how much did you pack?”

“Enough for an extended trip,” Heather answered, glancing around the room with a critical eye. The house was a far cry from the luxury mansions that Heather was used to and Ana worried what her mom would think of her own interior design efforts. Up until that moment, Ana had been pleased with what she had done with a few coats of paint and some throw pillows and other stuff. Now that her mom was there, she didn’t know why she had even bothered. The room didn’t come alive like it would have if her mother had decorated it.

But then her mom’s words registered and Ana dropped the bag she was holding hoping it wasn’t the one that held the wine. “How long are you planning on staying?”

Heather’s head snapped around at the horror in Ana’s voice and she pinned her daughter with a suspicious glare. “What’s going on that you don’t want me here?”

“Nothing,” Ana said quickly, glancing through the window. There was a fluttering of curtains at Harrison’s and she was going to have to think of something quick otherwise he was going to come across the street and get her. Forcing her eyes to meet her mom’s, Ana curved her lips into a smile, “It’s just that you’ll be bored to tears here.”

Heather looked around the cozy living room once again before she let out a weary sigh. “Maybe, maybe not, but I hardly matters since I’m only staying here for a few days. Where’s the cat? He always tries to trip me when I arrive.”

“He’s at the neighbors,” Ana answered.

“I see,” Heather said, her brows drawing together to show that she didn’t see, not really.

“Um, why are you really here?” The question was out of her mouth before she could stop it but Ana was genuinely confused. After their disagreement, they hadn’t really spent any time alone with one another. The thought of it was equally depressing as it was terrifying.

Heather pressed her lips together, obviously fighting an internal battle. Finally, her lips curved upwards into a smile even as her eyes remained sorrowful, “I realize things have been a little… strained between us these past few years but I’m trying…. Anavrin, why do you keep looking out the window?”

The question made Ana jump because she hadn’t realized she had been so obvious and also because she thought she saw Harrison’s curtains flutter again. “No reason.”

“Do you really want to spend Thanksgiving with strangers over your own mother?” Her mom sounded hurt, which made Ana feel like the worst daughter in the world.

“No, of course not. But they’re hardly strangers, mom,” Ana managed, her chest tightening when she saw the door open and Jolie step out. Oh, he wouldn’t dare! She almost smiled at the ploy but she managed to keep it in check as she tried to casually make her way over to the door and intercept it before Jolie rang the doorbell. “I’ve been living here for nearly two months.”

“I’m impressed, Anavrin. I’ve lived at my place for three years and I still don’t know who lives next door to me,” her mom replied, sounding drained and bone tired. Of course her mother hardly spent any time at home, travelling the world to redesign the living spaces of the rich. Pinning Ana with her too-knowing stare, Heather narrowed her eyes, “You’re acting very strangely, Anavrin. What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” she protested again, opening the door just as Jolie was about to ring the bell. Trying to ignore her mother, she smiled down at the little girl. “Hey, Jelly Bean. I’m afraid something came up and I won’t be able to make it back over.”

Jolie’s smile faltered as she looked at Ana with those big, heartbreaking brown eyes, making Ana feel like shit. “But it won’t be the same without you.”

“Who is this adorable child?” Heather asked from behind Ana, making her jump.

“This is my neighbor Jolie,” Ana answered, putting a protective hand on Jolie’s slender shoulder. “She helped make the pies for dessert.”

“Well, of course we’ll come over,” Heather said with more enthusiasm than was warranted. Of course, she was probably as nervous to spend Thanksgiving alone with Ana as Ana was to spend it with her.

“Mom,” Ana said beneath her breath. “I thought you said you wanted to talk.”

“I do,” Heather murmured. “But we can talk later, after we eat.”

“There’s an extra space,” Jolie piped up, making Ana cringe internally. “One of daddy’s co-workers couldn’t make it.”

“Excellent,” Heather beamed, grabbing her jacket and putting it on before Ana could come up with another reason why it was a bad idea for the pair of them to go over to Harrison’s. Picking up the bag that carried her wine, Heather held it up with a victorious grin as she said, “Now come along, Anavrin. It sounds like everyone is waiting for you.”

“Great,” Ana muttered, grabbing her coat and grudgingly putting it back on. Her mom looped her arm through Ana’s while Ana grabbed Jolie’s hand and they made their way back across the street, a million butterflies dreading what was to come.

As soon as they got inside Harrison’s, Jolie made a beeline for her mom and dad, grinning at them as they sat side by side at the head of the table. Harrison tilted his head to the side when he saw Ana and her mom but there really wasn’t any way of explaining. Giving him a helpless shrug, she startled when Heather grabbed her arm and whispered in her ear, “Are those Jolie’s parents?” At Ana’s tight nod, Heather continued in blissful ignorance, “They make a striking couple.”

Ana threw up a little bit in her mouth as she nodded silently because Harrison and Carrie
did
make a striking couple, even if they were no longer together. But Ana’s tongue was tied into too many knots to correct her mother’s assumptions and by the time she untangled it enough to say something, it was too late. Nervously, Ana tore her eyes away from Harrison and glanced around the table and nearly collapsed. There were a handful of unfamiliar faces in addition to the Miller family and they all looked at her in expectation. It took every ounce of courage to not turn around and run away. Pasting a smile onto her frozen face, she said, “Hey, everyone. This is my mom. Mom, everyone.”

“I brought some wine,” Heather said with a brilliant smile that hid her nerves. Ana recognized it because she wore it often enough.

“Sit, sit,” Mr. Miller said, pointing at the two empty chairs that were sitting opposite of Harrison. “We were just getting ready to eat the delicious meal your daughter prepared.”

“You cooked everything?” Heather asked on a shocked gasp, gracefully sitting on the chair next to Asher. Just as gracefully, she pulled three bottles of wine out and handed them to Asher one by one, who  was quick to open them, pour some wine into three glasses, and then pass them along.

“Well, the three of us did. Harrison grilled the chicken,” Ana muttered, sitting down with a plop. Her hair was even messier now that it had been out in the wind. It hardly mattered, though, because compared to her mom, she looked like she just woke up after a night spent drinking. She could barely look at Harrison as the plates of food started to get passed around the table. If she looked at him and saw the compassion in his eyes, she’d start to cry.