A Part of Me (10 page)

I had a lot of time to think over the past weeks.  Wearing the prosthesis had done something for my confidence.  For the first time since the accident I felt like there was a future for myself.  James had helped me get fitted with a high tech prosthesis that would allow me to run and move like an athlete. 

I was so sure that I would have to give up coaching soccer.  I mean, what could I possibly offer these kids now, but that was soon proven wrong when James had introduced me to several amputees at the clinic.  I met men and women who had succeeded beyond my imagination after losing a limb or even two.  They were athletes across the board from runners to cyclist, but the ultimate inspiration was from a sixteen year old girl who played on her varsity soccer team with a lower leg prosthesis.  It was incredible to see and it warmed my heart.  I felt like little my little I was being put back together, so when my principal called to see how I was doing and ask what my plans were for the upcoming school year, I gladly told him I would be back to both teaching and coaching.

The wedding was this Saturday, and there were several last minute things we needed to take care of as Trevor’s groomsmen. 

I wore my prosthesis for several hours but removed it before leaving to meet up at Nick’s place.  I was driving again, another huge step for my freedom.  I grabbed my forearm crutches and my keys and closed my door behind me with more confidence than I’d had in years.

***

Much to my relief, the wedding rehearsal was mostly a verbal rundown of the ceremony rather than a complete walk through. 

I was leaning against the door frame of the private room at Maggiano’s, the venue where the rehearsal dinner was being held.  Several of Ava and Trevor’s family members were moving around, preparing to take their seats. 

I was holding out—waiting to choose my seat until I saw where Talia sat.  I didn’t want to sit right next to her, not yet, but I wanted to be able to see her, hear her, and just feel her presence.

She was stunning as usual in a sage halter dress that draped her body like an exquisite gift that had been wrapped with care.  I still felt that emptiness and loss deep within my chest as I looked at her. 

She was polite, nodding a hello to me with a small smile during the rehearsal.  I wanted so much to just hold her, to tell her how wrong I’d been.  I wanted to explain that I was hurting and broken before.  That I couldn’t see passed my own anguish to notice the unconditional love she offered me.  Most of all, I wanted her to know how sorry I was for hurting her.

I felt a hand gently touch my arm.  “Are you ready to sit Tom?”  Ava watched me with a knowing smile.  I had been caught, and I had no desire to deny it.  I smiled down at Ava.  The beautiful woman that had captured my best friend’s heart.  Not only had she been the best thing to ever happen to Trevor, she had become such an important part of all of our lives.  We became a family, all of us.  I knew in my heart that I had to fix things with Talia.  I just needed to wait for the right time.

“Sure.”  I winked at her and she squeezed my arm before returning to Trevor’s side and taking a seat.  I made my way over to the table, sitting a few seats down and across from Talia.  She looked up as I sat down and put my crutches out of the way.  Our eyes locked, and for a moment I felt like everything was right.  The kindness I saw in her eyes warmed me like a hot summer day, and I could almost feel the way her lips had felt on my skin.  The way her touch sent electric currents through my broken body.  The ways her loving words soothed my soul.

I would make things right.  I had too.

***

As much as I’d hoped to get the chance to speak with Talia last night, the opportunity never quite presented itself.  I had caught her stealing as many glances at me as she had caught me stealing at her.  I was determined to speak with her tonight, come hell or high water.

I knocked on the door to the room where Trevor and Nick were hanging out until it was time for the ceremony.  I had asked to meet them there so that I could get ready at home.

“Come in!”  Trevor’s low voice billowed from within the confines of the room.  I opened the door slowly and walked through.  I turned to close the door and smiled to myself when I heard their gasps. 

“What the hell?”  Nick stood up, staring at me in complete astonishment, while Trevor’s face spread into a full on grin.

I hadn’t worn either of the prosthesis around them.  They knew I was going t physical therapy, but never asked about my plans for future fittings.  I couldn’t blame them.  I hadn’t been exactly approachable the past few months.

I squared my shoulders and walked over to where they were, unable to control my smile as they watched me move almost flawlessly.  My heart swelled with pride when I saw how happy they were, and I knew they understood how far I’d come.

“Well shit!  I was hoping to play up the handicapped man’s best friend tonight to attract the women.  I guess that ideas shot.”  Nick shook his head in mock disgust, although his smile never wavered.

“Why didn’t you say something Tom?”  Trevor stepped forward and handed me a beer.  I moved to the chair next to the couch and sat down.

“I wanted to make sure I could do it first, and when I had gotten everything figured out, I decided to surprise you all by walking with you and standing tall next to you on the best day of your life.”  I grinned.

“Welcome back man.  We missed you.”  Trevor said with tears filling his eyes for a moment before getting them under control.

“It’s good to be back.”  I took a long draw from my beer as I sat back and crossed my right leg over my left.  We sat there is almost a euphoric state until the wedding Officiant came in to let us know it was time. 

We stood and followed her out to where the ceremony would take place.  As we walked to the front, I heard several gasps as friends and loved ones noticed that I was walking.  The shock in each gasp built me up, keeping me standing tall as I took each step, ready to take my chance at a different ending.

Chapter 17

Talia

She was the most beautiful bride I’d ever seen.  Ava stood before me in her gorgeous strapless silk gown.  It hung to her curves in all the right places.  The start white stood in contrast with her long dark hair that was pulled up into a messy up-do with long curls falling in random cascades around her face and back.

Her makeup was darker than usual with a slightly smoky eye that made her delicate features pop.  Trevor was going to shit when he saw her.

“Ava, you are stunning!”  I hugged her, careful not to mess her up. 

“Thank you Talia.  I don’t know what I would’ve done without you and Chelsea.  This wedding came together without any snags because you both.”  Her eyes watered and I shook my head.

“Oh no you don’t!  You’ll mess yourself up and then Trevor will run the other way.”  I laughed, knowing he would be more likely to still run to her.

“Okay girls, time for a glass of wine.”  Chelsea poured us each a glass of white wine.  We sat down, trying to relax before it was time for the ceremony to begin.  Ava and Chelsea started talking about someone at work, giving me the time I needed to lose myself in my own thoughts.

Last night had been a test of my patience.  So many times I had wanted to talk to Tom, to do what Dr. Connor had suggested and lay it all out on the table, but the time hadn’t been right.  I never got close enough to him to really even say hello.

I did, however, have plenty of opportunities to watch him, and my heart melted like ice on a hot summer day at the change in him.  His eyes looked more alive.  He stood tall and strong—much more like the Tom I used to know.  The Tom before the accident.

I couldn’t stop loving him.  My heart was empty without him.  I was drawn to him like a bee to honey.  I had to find a way to show him how much he meant to me.

The knock on the door brought me back from my thoughts. The wedding Officiant—Danielle Blake—entered, her friendly smile setting the mood of the room.  “Ava, it’s just about time.  I wanted to stop by before I went to gather the guys to make sure you didn’t need anything.” 

Ava had fallen in love with Danielle the moment she had met her.  She had such a personal approach to each and every wedding, taking time to get to know the bride and groom so the ceremony would be all about them and not a cookie cutter wedding. I could see why Ava liked her.  It would be just what I would’ve looked for if it were my wedding.  For a moment I pictured my own wedding, walking down the aisle to the arms of the man I love.  Tom’s face flashed through my mind and my heart raced and warmth flowed through my body.  A girl could dream, right?

As we stood there waiting for the moment when we would walk down the aisle, I looked over at Ava, noticing the nervousness plastered over her features.  “Hey, stop it with the nerves.  You have been waiting for this day for as long as I’ve known you. Don’t freak out now that you finally added a face to the fantasy.”   I winked at her, knowing that her nerves weren’t due to doubts, but anticipation and excitement.

Chelsea peeked out the door, watching for the sign that it was time for us to leave the confines of this room and move down the hallway, out the French doors and lead Ava into her future.

“Okay, let’s do this.”  Chelsea winked and smiled as she opened the door and walked out slowly in front of us.  It was my turn next.  I blew a kiss to Ava and began my own walk.  Ava was walking down the aisle alone, knowing that the memory of her father was with her the whole way.  She was amazing.

Chelsea was about ten feet in front of me, her silver dress flowing and fluttering beautifully with every step.  I couldn’t wipe the shit eating grin off my face.  I was so happy for my friends.  I turned the corner, bringing myself to the end of the long white carpet.  Looking up I saw Trevor standing there so proud and happy that it warmed my heart.  I took precise, timed steps, glancing up as I got about halfway down the aisle. 

My smile turned into an open mouth the moment my eyes landed on Tom, standing on two feet without the aid of his crutches. I bit back the tears I felt instantly fill my eyes.  He was all smiles as I looked at him, unable to tear my eyes away.  His shoulders were squared and he stood taller than I’d seen since the accident, maybe even before.  He exuded strength and pride, and it took all of my power not to run and throw myself into his arms and pour my heart and soul to him.

By the time I made it to the front and took my place, I was so emotionally charged that I could hardly stand still.  I smiled at Trevor, Tom and Nick before turning my attention to Danielle as she spoke, “All Rise”.  The doors opened and there she was.

She was even more stunning with the glowing blush that flooded her face the moment she laid eyes on her future husband.  My heart swelled from the enormity of the love that they shared.  It was truly beautiful.

Trevor walked several feet to meet Ava, taking her hands and leading her to stand with him in front of Danielle.

“Please be seated”.  Danielle began.  “Good evening.  Today, you have invited me to be with you to share in the celebration of your marriage.  We come together not to mark the start of a relationship, but to recognize a bond that already exists.”  My eyes filled with tears.  “Ava and Trevor, in your devotion, respect, and love for each other, you wish to unite in the holy bond of marriage.  You come together to dedicate yourselves to each other's happiness and well-being as best friends, life mates and partners.”  She paused.  “Please look into each other’s eyes as you pledge your intent and say your vows to one another.  No other ties are more tender, no other vows more sacred than those you now pledge.”

I couldn’t help but watch Tom as they spoke their vows, feeling the intense love shared.  I almost felt like some of the words were my own, bringing to light the immense feelings I was holding on for Tom, in hopes that he would somehow return them.

“Ava and Trevor, in your journey in life together, remind yourselves often of the friendship, loyalty and love that brought you together.  Give the highest priority to these things.”  I looked up to see Tom looking directly at me. 

“When challenges come, remember to focus on what is right between you.  In this way, you can ride out the storms.  When clouds hide the sun in your lives, remember even if you lose sight of it for a moment… the sun is always there, as is your love.”  Tom and I couldn’t look away from each other.  Things suddenly seemed so clear and I couldn’t wait to talk to him.

“And now as you begin the greatest journey of your life:  In as much as you have agreed to enter the marriage relationship, having exchanged vows and having given and received rings, I now, by the authority vested in me, pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

I was openly crying now, watching as my best friend walked down the aisle for the first time as Mrs. Trevor Dawson.  Before I realized it, my arm was looped through Tom’s as we walked,
holy shit…he was walking
, together following behind Ava and Trevor.

The emotions from just touching him were overwhelming, causing my heart to beat rapidly and my palm start to sweat.  He smelled amazing.  Spice and musk infiltrated my senses making me almost delirious. I had missed him so much!

The next hour flew by between taking pictures and getting ready for our entrance into the reception hall.  Ava and Trevor were beside themselves with the excitement of the day, and the relief that they had finally gotten married.  It was contagious.

As much as I longed to pull Tom away for a moment to talk, the timing wasn’t right.  Our focus was on our friends and their day.

Before I knew it we were entering the reception hall and sitting down for dinner.  Chelsea and I next to Ava and Tom and Nick on the other side of Trevor.

“Hey baby!”  I turned to see a gorgeous smile and shaggy golden blonde hair in front of me.

“Austin!  I didn’t know you were going to be here.  I thought you couldn’t make it.”  I exclaimed as I jumped up to greet him, throwing myself into his arms.