Absolutely Normal Chaos (7 page)

I’m still plodding along in the
Odyssey
. I’ll switch pens.

Magic Sandals

I think I like the goddess Athene (in English class we always said Athena, but it’s spelled Athene here) the best so far. She has these flashy magical sandals that enable her to fly, and she also has a spear, and she can disguise herself as a man or woman. At the end of the first “book” (a book is more like a chapter), she just flies away. Now, wouldn’t you love to do that
?

The second book was all about Odysseus’s wife, Penelope, and his son, Telemachus, and all the suitors (the guys after Penelope) hanging around. Some of them talk on and on and on, sort of like Beth Ann
.

Anyway, Telemachus decides to go off in search of his father (Odysseus), who everyone thinks is dead (he’s been gone ten or twenty years, I think) and Athene swoops down and disguises herself and gives
Telemachus lots of help, telling him what to do and putting the suitors into a deep sleep and finding a ship and crew for him and then even giving him a good wind. Geez. Wouldn’t you like to have your own personal Athene? Someone to solve all your problems
?

Sunday, July 1

How can it be July already???

Tell me, O Muse, of something to write. Inspire me.

I’m waiting, O Muse.

I think my Muse is attending some other people at the moment.

So. Today is Sunday and everyone is still moping around about Mr. Furtz. There’s a big wreath hanging on the Furtzes’ door, sort of like a Christmas wreath only not so cheery. It sure looks strange to see it hanging there in the middle of summer. The Furtzes’ curtains were drawn closed the whole day and cars kept going in and out of the driveway.

All day it rained. Dougie said it was God crying about Mr. Furtz, but I told him that if that was true and if God cried every time someone died, it would rain every single day. But it’s a nice thought, about God crying, I mean. I keep thinking about Mr. Furtz
lying there in that box and that lid closing on him.

I don’t think my parents are taking their vitamins. It scares me half to death

Snoring Through the
Odyssey

I read Book Three of the
Odyssey
today. Snore, snore, snore. Telemachus is still off trying to find out what happened to his father (he thinks he’s dead)
.

There were a couple of interesting things in this section, though. First, Athene says something about death. When a man’s time comes (to die), she says, no one can help him, not even a god. It made it sound like there’s a set time, all prearranged or something. Spooky. Why was Mr. Furtz’s time so early? The other interesting thing was that Athene changes into an eagle and flies away. Imagine everyone’s surprise. What an exit
!

One other thing I like in this book is the way Homer describes the sun coming up. He doesn’t just say, “The sun came up.” He says “rosy-fingered Dawn appeared,” and he also calls Dawn the “child of morning.” It makes you think of this little baby with pink fingers crawling up over the horizon
.

I rummaged around in the attic today. Found my father’s ice skates, which must be about three thousand years old, and his high-school yearbook (what
a scream) and lots of old pictures. There was one of Dad, Uncle Carl Joe, and Aunt Radene. They all looked so young and happy. In this picture, Aunt Radene is standing to one side of Dad and Uncle Carl Joe, leaning against a tree, and it looks as if she is dreaming about something wonderful, because she has this little smile on her face and she isn’t looking right at the camera. She is wearing a halter top and very short shorts and high heels. Her hair is long and curly. Carl Ray sure did not get his looks from his mother.

When I made up Carl Ray’s stupid bed and cleaned his stupid room today, I left a note that said, “Maid service ends TODAY at 11.00
A.M.
” The two weeks are up! Carl Ray has to make his own stupid bed from now on.

Called Beth Ann but she was out with Derek-the-Di-viiiiine.

What a day, eh?

Monday, July 2

My Muse has utterly abandoned me.

Tuesday, July 3

Well, Maggie suckered me into watching Tommy today even though I thought it was her turn. But in a
way it was a good thing, because I took Tommy to the pool and guess who showed up—Alex Cheevey!

He actually swam around and stuff. Even though I had to stay with Tommy in the shallow end, Alex came and played with Tommy awhile. Alex was in a pretty good mood. He sat with us during break time and let Tommy jump on his stomach. He also talked a little, although it was tough going at times. For instance, it went something like this:

ME
:
So are you visiting the Murphys again?

ALEX
:
(Laughing a little.)
Huh. Huh. Yep.

ME
:
What, don’t they have any kids or anything?

ALEX
:
Who?

ME
:
The Murphys.

ALEX
:
Oh. Nope.

ME
:
So you got bored and came to the pool?

ALEX
:
Me? Oh. Yup.

ME
:
Do you like the Murphys?

ALEX
:
Me? Oh. Yup.

ME
:
Hey, I heard you were at Bill Ferguson’s party last week.

ALEX
:
Yup.

ME
:
Do you know him?
(Stupid question!)

ALEX
:
Yup. Lives next door.

ME
:
How was it?

ALEX
:
What?

ME
:
The party!

ALEX
:
Oh. Okay. I saw your sister there.
(That’s a lot of words for Alex.)

ME
:
Yeah, I know. Was it fun?

ALEX
:
The party?

ME
:
Yes, the party.

ALEX
:
Sort of. Why didn’t you go?
(He actually asked a question.)

ME
:
I wasn’t invited.

ALEX
:
Oh.

ME
:
Our neighbor died.

ALEX
:
Really?

ME
:
Yeah.

ALEX
:
Was he sick?

ME
:
No, not exactly.

ALEX
:
Well, how did he die?

ME
:
Well, I guess he was sick only no one knew it. He went in the hospital for some tests and died of some gigantic heart attack or something.

ALEX
:
Ugh.

ME
:
Yeah, I know.

ALEX
:
He didn’t think he was sick?

ME
:
No. I don’t think so. At least not until they told him he had to go in for some tests. His time was up. I hate that.

ALEX
:
Ugh.

ME
:
Yeah.

ALEX
:
Yup.

ME
:
I wonder if he knew he was going to die.

ALEX
:
Maybe.

ME
:
Like maybe he had this feeling…

ALEX
:
Maybe.

ME
:
You ought to at least have a feeling…

ALEX
:
Yup.

ME
:
Wouldn’t you like to have a little advance notice if you were going to kick off?

ALEX
:
Yup. I would.

ME
:
Me, too.

And that’s all we talked about because he had to leave, but he said he was coming back again on Thursday probably. I might go swimming on Thursday.

Carl Ray still has a job, even though Mr. Furtz is dead. Mr. Furtz’s brother (whose name is also Furtz, of course) is going to take over the store at least for a while. I found that out when I went to the hardware store today. I didn’t really need to buy something, but I was downtown with Tommy after swimming and I just wanted to see if it was possible that Carl Ray could really do anything useful.

When we went in, there was Carl Ray dusting off some turpentine cans. He looked real embarrassed to see us at first, but Tommy took hold of Carl Ray’s
hand and was so excited to see him that Carl Ray eventually smiled a little and started acting like he owned the store, showing us all around. I’ve been to that store a million times, so I’d seen it all before, but I pretended like I hadn’t. Then the new Mr. Furtz came up and introduced himself (“Gene Furtz here”) and said he was taking over the store at least temporarily, until “things settle down.”

Then he said, “Don’t you worry, we’ll keep young Carl Ray on here.” (I wasn’t worried.) Carl Ray smiled and looked down at his shoes. What a presence.

Stopped at Beth Ann’s on the way home, but she was gone.

Anointing Telemachus

Read Book Four of the
Odyssey.
Now Telemachus is at Menelaus’s house, where everybody is feasting and “making merry.” It really kills me how everyone treats Telemachus wherever he goes. He’s a total stranger and yet Menelaus orders his servants to take care of Telemachus’s horses and feed them. And then, this really gets me, Menelaus’s maid-servants wash Telemachus and his men and “anoint” them with oil! I mean
really.
Then they feed them, etc. All of this before they even find out who Telemachus is
.

It all reminded me of my mother and how she’s
always going on about ole Carl Ray being a guest in our house. Well, I sure feel like his maidservant, but I’ll tell you one thing: I wouldn’t wash and anoint him for all the money in the world.

More
Odyssey:
Everyone at Menelaus’s starts crying and weeping about Odysseus (because they still think he’s dead), but then a goddess gives them some special wine that prevents people from crying! Imagine
.

I wish I had some of that wine for Mrs. Furtz.

But Odysseus isn’t dead. He’s being held captive by a nymph named Calypso who apparently adores Odysseus and doesn’t want him to go back to Penelope. Meanwhile, all Penelope’s suitors decide to ambush Telemachus when he returns
.

Wednesday, July 4

The Fourth of July!

I practically forgot this was the Fourth of July! Dad was at the kitchen table in his grungy clothes, and I asked him what he was doing there, and he said, “I live here.” Har har. Then he said, “I’ll give you a hint: firecrackers.” Har har. I got it.

We all went on a picnic today to Windy Rock, a park about ten miles from Easton. In this park is the actual Windy Rock—a huge boulder up on top of a cliff. Supposedly you can walk up there anytime and the air will be still and silent until you reach the rock, and then, whoooosh, the wind blows as fierce as can be just around the rock. Sure enough, every time we’ve been there, it has happened. Next to the rock is a plaque that explains the legend behind it.

According to this legend, there once was an Indian maiden who fell to her death on this very cliff. Her lover came to the rock, wailing and moaning, and then he stood on the rock, ready to jump over too, because his life was nothing without his maiden. But then the winds started to blow round and round the rock so that he was unable to jump. The legend says the winds blew for two weeks (he must have been starving by then), until he fell into a deep slumber. Then the winds “abated” and his friends lifted him off the rock and took him home. And now every time anyone approaches the rock, the winds begin again. I guess the winds think he’s coming back.

I like legends like that.

So we had a picnic there. Maggie didn’t come because she went to a party with Kenny (she’s ungrounded now), but Carl Ray came along. He’s like a shadow. Everywhere we go, he goes.

Most of the day Dennis, Doug, and I climbed trees and just messed around. We put Tommy up in this one tree with us, and he was having a great time pretending the limb was a horse. Mom and Dad stayed on the blanket, just lying there and talking. Carl Ray walked around a lot, but then he started chasing us through the trees and he was realllll scary.

I was surprised he had the energy to run, but he started tearing around pretending he was some kind of monster and making these horrible noises, and at first we all thought it was funny to see him like that, but then he kept it up, and I have to admit even
I
was scared, because he would run at us making these horrible faces and these horrible noises and he would grab one of us and drag us off until the others would come and pull the captive one free.

After a while Tommy and Dougie started crying and we all ran back to where Mom and Dad were. Then Carl Ray came walking up looking like his usual pale, pitiful self, and Mom and Dad didn’t believe us that he had been scaring the living day-lights out of everyone.

He’s a strange one sometimes, that Carl Ray.

When it got dark, we watched the fireworks. I used to think fireworks were so terrific, but this year they seemed a little disappointing. You wait and wait all day, and then there’s about ten minutes of
booms and splashes of light and that’s it.