Absolution (Delroi Prophecy Book 4) (10 page)

“And apparently he was a victim of one
of the mind control experiments.”

Anna Leigh heard the anguish in her
voice. Felt the same cut deeper than Zola could imagine. To lose a child…that
had been the worst horror of her life. This was worse. To know she’d abandoned
him. To know her enemies had twisted him against not just her, but the little
sister he adored. She wasn’t sure how to bear the guilt and pain. And Xan was
having none of that.

“Enough. I understand you’re upset,”
he told Zola, as gently as his voice ever got. “So is your mother. You are
welcome to stay with us as long as you want to. You are
our
daughter.” Damn, the man put back the wrecked pieces of her
heart without even trying. “A daughter of the house of Bana. Your son will be
the Bana clan chief. But I won’t allow you to abuse yourself or your mother.
You’ve both made mistakes. None of us should be defined by our missteps.”

“I just want to figure this out. And
sleep. I am so damned tired.”

“Talk
to her, sweetheart. Remind her. I’ve seen your memories. Seen how you loved and
tried to protect your children.”

He’d been stripping her armor away
since she met him, so she shouldn’t be surprised he saw the deepest core of
her. The parts she’d hidden even from herself in a desperate bid to protect
Zane and Zola. It made her fall for him a little more.

“Remember
that, love. When we’re alone.”

“It wasn’t always bad. I protected to
two of you the best I when you were little. You lived at home instead of school
and took your first assignment behind my back.”

She took a deep breath, not quite sure
how to convince Zola she’d been trying to keep her safe. “I know you think I
distanced myself after your brother died, but I was trying to protect you.
They’d already taken one of my children. I had to find a way to save you, to
get you out. Zane would have wanted that too. You know he would have.”

“He came to me after he refused those
orders. He made me promise we would find a way to get you clear of Tel.”

“What was he thinking?” Zola asked.
“He knew they’d never let me go. Did he trade himself for me?”

The idea made her ill. Surely Zane
would’ve known Tel would never keep up with their end of the bargain.

“I hadn’t thought of that possibility.
I suppose he could have. We won’t know until we find him.”

“Any idea how to find him?”

“No. Maybe through the other agents
when we find them. I’m guessing the third was also reprogrammed. We’ll have to
make a list of missing agents and see if we can narrow down the possibilities.”

They spoke about her pregnancy and
training the child if it was a boy for a few minutes. Plus Jarek’s belief it was
a girl and his lying about the pregnancy. The conversation seemed to weary her.
Anna Leigh hated the sad look on Zola’s face. She’d give Jarek a couple of days
to fix this on his own. If he didn’t she had a few things to say to him. She
refused to watch her daughter’s chance at happiness slip away, but Zola didn’t
need to be burdened with that information.

“You need to rest. You almost died
tonight.” She stood. “Come on, Zola,” she said. “Get some sleep. You’ll figure
everything out in the morning.”

*

Xan followed Anna Leigh into their
suite. She was quiet, withdrawn, with a brittleness about her that made his
instincts scream to protect her. It also pissed him off. She was his
der’lan
. His world. She should be
talking to him not burying her pain and fears beyond those walls he’d thought
he’d breached. But here she was. Hiding from him again.

“Anna Leigh.”

He didn’t temper the demand, the
dominance, in his tone and her eyes widened when she turned to face him. She
stared as he removed his weapons belt and set it on a nearby table. Next he
pulled off his shirt then bent to remove his boots. He opted to leave his pants
on until later. She retreated as he approached, a flash of panic in her eyes.

“What’s wrong, love?” he asked, when
she was pressed against the wall.

He pulled off her weapons, setting
them on a chair as he bent to one knee to remove her footwear. He rose slowly
and unbuttoned her pants. Held her gaze as his hand slid inside to cup her sex.
She was hot and wet, her folds slick against his fingers as he slid two inside
her clenching cunt.

“What do you want, mate? Do you want
me inside you? Making you come over and over again?”

She moaned, rolled her hips against
his hand trying to drive him deeper.

“Yes, damn it. Why aren’t you doing
just that?”

It would take very little to make her
come. Perhaps he had been too generous in that department. He’d thought to
seduce her into submission. Thought to seduce her into complete trust in every
aspect of their lives. It was time to change tactics. He dragged his fingertips
over her G-spot before removing his hand and re-zipping her pants. She stared
up at him with disbelief on her face. He stepped back.

“In the bedroom,” he ordered.

Her ire teased his senses but she
didn’t protest. He followed her and stopped her in the middle of the room. She
met his gaze with equal parts defiance and anticipation.

“Clothes off.”

He expected a protest but she held it
back. Instead she removed her garments, carefully folding them and placing them
on the dresser. He had her wait in the center of the room while he opened the
cabinet that stored his belongings. One section contained a variety of adult
toys. Everything from nipple clamps to vibrators to floggers. He picked up a
set of leather restraints. Returning to Anna Leigh, he pulled her wrists to the
small of her back and secured them. His fingers trailed lightly down her spine,
was rewarded by a shiver. He slowly circled around to face her.

“I don’t like it when you hide from
me,
der’lan
.”

His voice was low but firm. He reached
for the button and zipper on his pants and freed his cock. He was a hard
throbbing ache. One that wouldn’t be relieved until he proved his point. She
followed his actions with hot hungry eyes. Licked her bottom lip. He could see
her desire, but he couldn’t feel it. Didn’t know what she was thinking because
she’d closed off her mind. He gripped the base of his cock, stroked the shaft
lazily, all the while watching desire haze over her eyes.

“Sweetheart,” he drawled. She met his
gaze. “No more hiding. No more distance. I won’t stand for it. Lower your
shields.”

Her eyes narrowed as reason returned
and the desire began to seep away. “Are you fucking kidding me? Suggesting that
you love me once is not the same as sharing that emotion. And you want me to
what? Strip myself down to the bone for something I sense in you but can’t
always feel?”

There was anger and hurt in her voice,
in the energy that slipped through her shields. He was stunned. He’d thought
his actions spoke for him. His touches. His kisses. His possession. Anna Leigh
was usually so damned matter-of-fact it had never occurred to him she was
holding back because she wasn’t sure what was in his heart. She had kept to her
promise not to invade another’s thoughts. Even her mate’s, whose very soul she
had a right to see. Stepping close, he cupped her face in his palms and looked
into her eyes.

“I don’t know how to express my
emotions, to give you soft words. I’m a seasoned warrior and I’m set in my
ways. Look in my mind, in my heart. See for yourself what I feel,
der’lan
.”

She scowled, gave a slight shake of
her head. “I told you that was a measure of last resort.”

And it suddenly struck him. She was
naked, her wrists bound, and she was arguing with him. Surely that was trust,
whether she acknowledged it or not. He grinned and she glared.

“What?”

He shrugged. “Stop fighting it. Merge
with me fully and you’ll see.”

“I don’t like the smug look on your
face, Xan,” she groused with no real heat. It made his smile broaden. He hadn’t
shifted position, still held her face in his hands, but he made no move to
escalate the situation. She had to choose.

“This isn’t fair,” she whispered.
Pleaded.

He almost gave in. Almost. “I want all
of you. I need all of you.”

“You want me to give you the power to
destroy me.”

Gods, yes. “Because you already have
the power to destroy me.”

Her expression damned near brought him
to his knees. Suspicious and hopeful all at once. He moved his hands then,
sliding down her face, her throat, over her collarbone to her breasts. He
cupped them but didn’t stoke the fire yet. He waited for consent. For
capitulation. Submission. She lowered her lashes and when they rose, her
shields slammed down. He felt what she did, down to his marrow. It shook him
but he wanted to hear the words.

“Say it,” he ordered gruffly.

“Why?” she asked, moving easily
through his mind. It felt so natural. So good. “You know.”

“You were the one complaining about
the lack of words,” he drawled. He brushed his thumbs over her nipples and she
trembled, tried to shift closer.

“No,” he said, moving to grip her
hips. “I want…”

Her smile was slow and sultry and hit
him in the kidneys. “You want me on my knees.”

His blood roared. Fuck yes, he wanted
that. But he wanted it to be her choice, because there was no way in hell if
she took that step he’d let her have even a semblance of control. Forget
choice. She was
his
. She was so
deeply entrenched in his mind now, she knew exactly what he was thinking. She
looked at him with old knowing eyes.

“All the way, Xan. If I don’t hold
back, you can’t either.”

No. No, he didn’t want that. “No
holding back,” he agreed.

For either of them. She gave him a
lascivious smile he’d never seen before, then backed up a step and dropped to
her knees. She licked the head of his cock before tasting the shaft. Her tongue
was a hot rasp over much too sensitive tissue but it felt so good he didn’t
dare stop her. He looked down at her. On her knees, hands tied behind her back,
long blond hair flowing down her back while she kissed and tasted his erection.
Such trust. So much lust. She might think it was only because of the bond but
he knew better. Her mind was open to him now in ways it hadn’t been before. She
liked the role she’d found at his side. She felt useful in ways she hadn’t in
years. And she loved him. She wasn’t ready to admit it, but he felt it. Deep
and strong, born of respect and liking and desire. He’d never experienced anything
like it before and he’d be damned before he let it slip through his fingers. He
had to convince her. Had to
show
her.
She gasped, her lips closing over the head of his erection.

“I
see,”
she whispered into his mind.

He wrapped his hands in her hair and
thrust into her mouth.
“I don’t want you
to doubt us, love. You’re part of me, part of my soul.”

*

Anna Leigh couldn’t point to where
she’d lost control. Couldn’t say where he’d wormed inside her defenses and into
her heart. She’d never needed soft words before but those men weren’t Xan,
would never have fit into the life she wanted to build here. He’d fascinated her
from the moment they met and that allure had only grown. A tiny hint of
self-preservation whispered a warning, but knowing it was born of years of
conditioning to trust no one, she ignored it.

His hands tightened in her hair.
Looking up at him, she sucked on the head of his cock, following the
instructions in his mind. Harder. Deeper. He took over shuttling in and out of
mouth in short shallow strokes. His desire filled her mind and amplified her
own. How had she ever survived without this kind of pleasure? Of belonging? The
last of her defenses fell. Gasping, he pulled back abruptly, picked her up, and
sat on the edge of the bed, positioning her so she straddled him. his cock
prodded her entrance but he held her still, refusing to let her take the hard shaft.
She met his gaze. Intense, hot, so commanding it made her tremble, made her
pussy clench in anticipation. Then he gave her a slow wicked smile that would
have made her knees weak if she’d been standing. His hands stroked down her
thighs. Seconds later those talented fingers parted her folds and rubbed her
clit in slow maddening circles.

“Do
you have any idea what you do to me? You’re so sweet and hot. All mine. Only
mine.”

He leaned forward and licked one
aching nipple. When his teeth closed over it with just enough bite, she gasped.

“Say
it, Anna Leigh. Mate of my heart. Say you’re mine.”

She was--there was no denying it--but
she wasn’t going to admit it yet. She felt too good. Wanted to drag this out
and get on with it at the same time.

“I
want you inside me. Thrusting deep and hard.”

He switched to her neglected breast.
His touches were soft, gentle. Ratcheting up her arousal but in no satisfying
it.

“Xan,” she complained out loud,
pressing against his cock. “Quit teasing.”