Addict (28 page)

“Don’t cry.” Lee put his hand over mine. “It’s going to be okay, Kelsey.”

He was nine, and he was trying to comfort me. He patted my back as he had seen others do before. I gave him a slight smile. “I’m all right. I’m just sad that I didn’t get to meet my dad.”

He smiled at me. “I have three. You could have one of mine.”

“Three?” I knew about Daniel and Dev.

“Yeah,” he said with a shrug. “Bris counts, too.”

“Ah.” I hadn’t thought about the fertility god who had residence in Dev Quinn’s body.

“He totally counts. He orders me around and gives me all kinds of advice when he takes over Papa’s body. He’s more comfortable with Rhys, though. I’m only a human.”

I hugged him tightly. This child should never once feel that he was less than anyone. “Oh, Lee, you go so far beyond mere human I can’t express it. Now, tell me what the word is.”

His brown eyes lit up. Lee was a kid who loved subterfuge. “So, Uncle Marcus and Uncle Zack think you should go back to Italy. Uncle Zack was totally like ‘no’ until he heard Marcus say that Jack Frost was coming for you, and then he got on board with Uncle Marcus. Dad thinks you can totally take out Jack Frost. I think so, too. He doesn’t sound that tough to me. He’s like snow, and that’s not so bad.”

Lee hadn’t had his arm frozen off, so I would make my own decisions.

“And Uncle Marcus says that the lieutenant guy is just trying to get in your pants,” Lee added.

So much for Marcus’s belief in my abilities. “Good to know.”

I stood up. My decision was made. It was final. It would probably cost me the only man to treat me like a princess, but I wasn’t cut out for the role anyway. I looked down the hallway at the door where the men making the decisions about my life were meeting. The door was closed to me. It might be time to kick it open.

Lee’s hand found mine. He was looking at the same closed door. “You want me to go with you?”

I smiled down at him, surprised at the confidence he gave me. But this was my fight. “No, buddy. I think I have to do this on my own. How about we play some Xbox after dinner?”

“Cool.” I expected him to run off and find his brother, but as I walked down the long hall, I felt his eyes on me. He watched with a slight smile on his face as I walked into the office. I winked back his way. This stand I was taking went beyond just me. It was for us—for those of us who didn’t have a voice right now. We were either too young or considered too naïve or inexperienced. We had the right to speak and we needed someone who could stand for us.

It looked like that would be me.

I opened the door and was assaulted by chaos.

“You can’t take her off the playing field,” Donovan argued.

“I can and I will,” Marcus snarled back.

My uncle was standing between the two men. “I think we need to talk about this.”

“I’m staying.” I had to practically yell to be heard over the argument the men in my life were having. Marcus and Zack were standing close to Donovan, trying to get the king to see their point.

“Kelsey, you will wait outside,” Marcus said in that authoritative tone he tended to use on everyone but me. I had to admit, I kind of hated it being used on me. “I will be with you in a moment.”

“No.” I stood my ground. “I’m the
Nex Apparatus
. I’m the one whose butt is on the line. I make the decision. I’m staying.”

Marcus sighed, and I saw his jaw tighten. “Kelsey, you will do as your trainer tells you to do.”

“She’ll do as her king commands her,” Donovan said firmly.

“I’ll do what I want.” It was time to put my foot down. Kings and trainers were important, but this was my job. My life. The queen was right. I had to make a place for myself or be forever dismissed. Knowing my father would have stood behind me, with his game smile and his taciturn outlook on life, gave me a strength and confidence I didn’t have before. He would have given me a big old thumbs-up, and that helped me stand tall. “Look here, Donovan, you might hold most of the cards when it comes to me, but I got the only one that counts. I can say no, and I can mean it. I won’t be doing your dirty work mindlessly. I won’t assassinate someone because they disagree with you or you think it’s a fun idea. If you want me to put my ass on the line, you better convince me. Start now.”

I got the impression no one talked that way to Daniel Donovan. He stopped and the room went quiet. I wondered if he was going to call Trent in. Even Marcus seemed surprised I’d spoken to the king that way. I hadn’t been raised to kiss his ass.

After a long, uncomfortable moment, Donovan smiled briefly before he began his pitch. “All right, then. Those files you stole tell the tale, Owens. The drug known as Brimstone is both highly addictive and fast acting. It works on the impulse center of the brain in shifters and weres. It doesn’t work at all on witches. The witches they gave the drug to died.”

“So Winter wants a bunch of psychopathic shifters wandering around? Is he trying to give you hell? It’ll be hard to keep this out of the papers.” Secrecy was important in our world.

“Henri is worried that there’s more to this,” Donovan explained. “Demons can have certain powers over the weak minded. This drug gives Winter a whole bunch of powerful, weak-minded soldiers.”

“So he takes away their impulse control and then potentially influences them.” It was a lethal one-two punch. Our own people would be the ones coming after us. “They could come after you.”

“Or anyone Winter wanted gone.” Donovan stood up from his chair. His blue eyes narrowed. “So,
Nex Apparatus
, are you in or are you going back to Italy?”

There was no question about what I needed to do. “I’m in.”

Marcus cursed behind me. “You’re not ready for this. You must listen to me, Kelsey. I know what I’m talking about.”

I clenched my fists, willing him to understand. “It doesn’t matter that I’m not ready. I don’t get to choose this, Marcus. Can’t you see that? This isn’t some game where it doesn’t matter if I play this round. I don’t have two thousand years. I got today and maybe tomorrow, and if I sit on my ass while people around me suffer when I could help, then what the fuck does any of this mean?”

He slumped down in his chair, and his hand reached up to massage his brow. “That is a child’s question. Only a child seeks meaning in that which is meaningless.”

“Maybe it is.” I was resolute. I was the one who had to sleep at night, and I couldn’t do that if I was on a plane to Italy while the world was in turmoil. “But I gotta find out on my own. All I know is if I walk and people I care about suffer, I won’t be able to forgive myself.”

He nodded and stood suddenly. There was a distance between us, a remoteness to his stance that I hated. I reached out with my mind, but his was closed to me. “Then I am no longer needed. You have made your choice, and it seems my counsel cannot change your mind. Good night, Kelsey, Your Highness.”

I had known he would probably walk. People do that when you don’t live up to their expectations. I’d known that eventually he would leave me, but his walking out that door was like a kick to the gut. My heart felt like it was about to burst. It took everything I had to stand my ground. What I wanted to do was run after him, beg him not to leave me. Instead, I forced myself to sit. I had a job to do.

Sometimes, having a job to do is the only thing that keeps me sane.

“Kelsey.” My uncle got my attention. I took a deep breath to banish the tears that were threatening. I could cry later, when I was alone in the bed I should have shared with Marcus. My uncle pulled me up and didn’t even try to contain himself. He hugged me tightly. I felt him breathe in my scent. “I’m really proud of you.”

I nodded because he was managing to do what Marcus hadn’t. I pulled a tissue out of the box on his desk and wiped my eyes as he let me go, and I took my seat again. It was time to move forward. That was what I did best. “So what’s the plan?”

“You’ll go to the lieutenant’s tomorrow.” Donovan sat back down in his chair, a grim look on his face. Though he had gotten his way, it was easy to tell that he hadn’t liked the cost. “This party at Winter’s is at seven o’clock. I talked to Sloane extensively about it earlier today. He seems to know what he’s doing. All you have to do is keep your eyes and ears open. Try not to bring too much attention to yourself.”

“How much do the demons know about the new
Nex Apparatus
?” Zack asked. “If they know who she is, I think this is too dangerous. It could be a trap.”

Donovan drummed his fingers along the heavy wood of the table. “I can’t be completely sure, but I think she’s safe. I haven’t made a big announcement for obvious reasons. A lot of people saw her in the arena a few months back. They might question why I championed her…”

“They know,” I said confidently. “Scott knew. It’s a small world. They might not know exactly who I am, but they know there’s a new death machine in town. What am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to hide because someone might know who I am? I won’t be effective that way. I’ve already met Winter and if he knows who I am, I couldn’t tell. I think he sees what he expects to see. I know he hasn’t asked for my name. Gray wouldn’t give it to him.”

“I agree. Sloane is trustworthy when it comes to your safety,” Donovan said. “I still wish I could send you in with backup.”

I shook my head. There was no way we were getting Trent into that party. Despite the fact that the king, the queen, and Quinn had made threesomes fashionable, no one would believe Gray was involved in one. Though the idea was kind of hot. “Gray and I will be fine. I’m assuming Jamie will be monitoring the situation.”

“Yes,” the king acknowledged. “The lieutenant mentioned he was working with your brother. I think you’re in good hands. Sloane and I might have had our trouble in the past, but I don’t doubt he thinks he’s doing the right thing. I have a very specific order for you, Owens, and I expect you to follow it.”

“What’s that?” I’d decide if I would follow it after I heard what it was.

“Don’t die.”

I gave him a jaunty salute. “I’ll do my best.”

The door to the office came open and Lisa Owens popped her head in. “Dinner’s ready. I’m serving it even if you continue your business meeting. That might not mean anything to the king there, but once it’s gone, the two of you are on your own.”

“She means that.” Zack stood and smoothed down his shirt after his wife had quietly closed the door. “She’s serious about dinnertime. If we don’t get out there, she’ll leave us with a bowl of carrots or something.”

I shuddered. After a really shitty day, I couldn’t handle a vegetarian dinner. Zack walked out and I stood to follow him. I wasn’t letting all that cheese and beef get away from me.

Donovan reached out and grabbed my hand. “Don’t give up on Marcus.”

I shrugged, unwilling to show him my true feelings. “I don’t think there’s anything to give up on. He was my trainer. That’s the way these things go. If you feel like I still need a trainer, I’ll take Hugo. I promise to keep my hands firmly to myself.”

I was supposed to keep a lover around so I wouldn’t feel alone. I was supposed to form attachments. I wondered if the king would consider a vibrator a proper physical outlet. I could get attached to one, and my vibe wouldn’t dump me when I acted out.

The king stared at me for a moment, and I could practically see him trying to figure out how to handle me. He was silent for a moment before speaking. “You know what I’ve had to put up with every day for the past ten years? I’ve had to hear Marcus call my wife
cara
. That means dear in Italian. Never
cara mia
, which is my dear, just dear. He’s done it since the day he met her. Z’s always been a favorite of his. If I hadn’t been around, he’d have been all over her.”

“Are you trying to make me feel better?” If he was, he was doing a shitty job. Marcus probably would have stuck around to fight it out with the queen.

“I’m trying to make a point.” Donovan leaned forward. “Every day for the last ten years, he’s greeted her with a ‘good morning,
cara
.’ Until one day, a little over three months ago. He saw her and said, ‘good morning, Zoey.’ I didn’t think much of it until I realized he never called her anything but Zoey or Your Highness after the night he met you. Marcus is a charming playboy until he decides to settle down, and then he’s loyal to the bone.”

“He walked out on me.” I felt a hollow space open inside me. He was leaving me. I wondered if he would even say good-bye.

“I doubt he walked far.” The king’s blue eyes regarded me with something like sympathy. “I have some selfish reasons why it would be better if you and Marcus weren’t together.”

“You want him to marry your daughter one day.” It was the only thing that made sense.

“She’s a companion. You have no idea how much that tiny bundle of light scares the crap out of me,” the king admitted. “The boys are easier. Evan…well, she makes me almost wish we’d only had boys. I love that baby girl. From the moment the midwife put her in my arms, I knew I would die for my daughter. I want her safe. Every vampire in the world is going to want her. I trust Marcus. It’s the one thing Dev and I have fought over since we formed our triad. Still, I can see you need him, and he needs you. I have to believe things will work out as they were meant to.”

“I wouldn’t have taken you for a philosopher.” The king was awfully hard to dislike when he was simply being a guy. It made me remember that we’d been friends once. We’d played together online before I’d turned into some weirdo, half-wolf, demon-slaying thing. It hadn’t been much, but for a while that group of guys was all I had. Nathan had given that to me. I remembered something I should have told the king yesterday. “They’re worried about the conference that’s coming up in the next couple of years. They think you’re going to cancel the contracts.”

Donovan’s face became completely enigmatic. He said nothing, just waited for me to continue.

“They want to fracture the vampires.” I took a deep breath and told him the news no parent could possibly want to hear. “They’re willing to use your children, Donovan. They talked specifically about using Evan to cause a rift between you and Marcus.”