Alive (Mended Hearts #1) (5 page)

Staring into
Maisie’s eyes, I see the fire that was in them diminish at the mention of her past. It breaks my heart that somebody has hurt her before. When I find out what happened, and who hurt her, I’m going to seriously hurt them. Maisie looks like she has an
‘I don’t give a fuck’
attitude, but deep down, she cares. She really fucking cares. I’ve always been good at reading people. I’m a master at fooling people about how I feel, so I can always spot a damaged person.

“Why are you being nice to me?” Maisie whispers so quietly that I wouldn’t have heard it
if I hadn’t been paying close attention to her.

“I’ve been a dick to you since we met. I’m sorry for that. I’m not going to lie, but when I first saw you on the sidewalk, I wanted to hook up with you. Then I saw you in the coffee shop that same day, so I tried to get your attention again. Badly
, I know.” Maisie chuckles at that. I realize that I could never get bored of hearing that sound. “Anyway, I was shocked when I saw you in English. I knew I should have stayed away from you, as I always end up hurting women, but something about you is different. You’re not like the other girls I know, Maisie. You’re so much better. When I realized this, I decided to leave you alone. You can do so much better than people like Brandon and me. We don’t care about anybody except ourselves, and you deserve to be treated like a princess.” I watch a tear roll down her cheek, before I reach up and swipe my thumb across her face to remove it.

She
starts to move forward, all the while staring into my eyes, still letting the tears flow. I pull her into my chest for a cuddle and try to comfort her as best as I can. She looks like she needs one right now, and I will take anything I can get, especially if it means I get to touch her. She leans back after a few minutes and, without warning, grabs my face and plants her lips on mine, hard. I respond, kissing her back just as eager. Her lips are just as soft as I have imagined. She tastes of a mixture of coke, vodka and strawberry. I’m guessing the strawberry is from her lip gloss, but I’m addicted to the taste of her already. Maisie tries to deepen the kiss, and I almost let her, but I don’t want her to kiss me when she probably won’t even remember it in the morning. Breaking off the kiss is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, and I know I’m going to regret it; however, I want her to remember every second of the next time we kiss. And there will be a next time, I’m sure of it.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry.
Th-that shouldn’t have happened. I’ve got to go,” Maisie stutters, looking mortified. Before I can say anything, she runs off into the crowd. I’ve got to find her. She’s drunk far too much to be around a bunch of people she doesn’t know.

Making my way into the kitchen, I see Maisie standing with Jake and
the blonde girl who I saw her with at Cafe Blanc that first day. I wonder how she knows Jake. Time to find out.

“Jake
, my man. Thanks for inviting me to your party. I’m going to head off soon, so thought I would see how you are.” Maisie sneaks a look at me out of the corner of her eye. I try not to laugh at the fact that she looks distraught at the fact that I am here.

“Good to see you
, bro. It’s been a while. Have a good summer vacation? Of course you did. You’re Jesse Cohen, the man all the ladies want. I’m jealous, man!” Jake laughs, while I internally shudder. I don’t want Maisie thinking badly of me when I’ve not even had a chance to prove anything to her yet.

“It was alright. Surfed the waves all day,
so what could be better?” I laugh uncomfortably. “How about you? Any girls down in San Francisco this year?” Jake is a bit of a lady’s man too. He’s always telling us crazy stories about the girls back home.

“I’ll have to tell you about them another day
, man. They’re not stories for my little sister’s ears.” Jake puts his hands over Maisie’s ears, winking at me. Thank God, they are related and he’s not interested in her.

“Jake, you’re such a pig! These girls are more than a piece of meat
, you know? They have feelings, unlike you, you heartless bastard!” the blonde girl suddenly pipes in, giving Jake the dirtiest look I have ever seen.

“
Chloe, you’re just jealous because you want a piece of me,” he replies, rubbing his hands down his body while giving Chloe a smirk.

“Yeah right
, and end up catching STDs? I don’t think so. Plus, I rather like your friend Evan. He’s a real man, and he seems like a gentleman, which you certainly aren’t.” Now it’s Chloe with the smirk on her face, and Jake looks like someone just stole his puppy. The sexual tension between those two is really thick.  I find Maisie shaking her head at them, and it makes me smile. She must be used to the bickering between them then. I’m going to have to have words with Jake and get the details.

“Anyway, it’s getting late
, and I have practice tomorrow, so I’m going to head off. Maisie, would you like a lift home?” Please let her say yes.

“Erm... I’m getting a lift from Chloe. Thanks any way
, though.” The smile that was on my face disappears.

“Maisie, I can’t drive
, and neither can you. We’ve both had too much to drink. I’ll get a lift home from Evan. I’m sure he won’t mind. Go ahead. Get a lift from Jesse.” Chloe smiles at me, while Maisie is shooting me looks evil enough to kill a person on the spot.

“Okay. Come on then.” Maisie sighs, following me out to my Ducati. It’s a good thing that I decided to bring my helmet tonight.

I give Maisie the helmet, but she doesn’t put it on. Instead, she just stares at it.

“I’m not getting on that thing
, Jesse. I value my life too much to willingly get on a killing machine!” Maisie near enough shouts at me.

“I’ll ride slowly
. I promise. Now get the helmet on, please.”

“No way.
I’m not getting on that thing.”

“Well
, I guess you’re walking home then.” I get onto my bike and kick the stand up.

“Fine
,” she huffs, putting on the helmet. Getting back off the bike, I make sure the helmet is secure, and then help her on. She wraps her arms around my chest like a vice. I like the feel of her close to me, her chest pressed so tightly against my back that not a slither of space is between us. Gunning the engine, we race off down the street, her grip getting even tighter.

****

Ten minutes later, we are at Maisie’s dorm room. I never had to stay in the dorms. I didn’t see the point in paying extra expenses when I live just down the road. Plus, that way, I can be there for my mom when she needs me.

“Thanks for the ride. I’ll see you around sometime, maybe
,” Maisie says, trying to get off my bike.

“I’m going
to walk you up. It’s late, and it wouldn’t be very gentlemanly of me if I didn’t make sure you got in okay.” She’s going to protest, but I’m not taking no for an answer, especially in the state that she’s in. People might take advantage of her.

“Fine, but you’re not coming in. You can stand at the door.” Wow. I was expecting a fight on this. She amazes me all the time
. She’s so hot and cold, it’s confusing, and I don’t
ever
get confused by women.

One flight of stairs
later, and we’re standing outside of her door. I should leave, but I don’t want to without explaining about why I ended the kiss earlier. She needs to know that I didn’t reject her.

“About the kiss earlier...”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve forgotten about it already. I shouldn’t have kissed you, and I’m sorry.” This would be an easy way out. I could just say okay and be done with it. That way, I wouldn’t end up hurting her in the long run. However, I can’t just leave it. I feel pulled to her for reasons I’m not sure about, but I have to find out what it means, otherwise I won’t be able to forgive myself. Maisie could be the girl to change me out of my man whore ways. I have to take this chance.

“
No, I won’t forget about it. I only ended the kiss because when I kiss you, I want you to remember every little detail about it- the way my lips feel against yours, the way my hands will feel running through your silky hair, and most importantly, how it makes you feel inside. I got a glimpse of what kissing you will feel like earlier, but I want you to have that experience too.” Wow, I’m pretty impressed with myself. I’ve never spoken to a girl like that before. Maisie turns me into a poet!

“I don’t know
, Jesse. I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship yet. I’ve recently got out of one, and I don’t know if I can handle another just yet.” Her face falls when she talks about her past relationship. It must be a touchy subject.

“How about
we just hang out, get to know each other, and we can see what happens in the future? I’m in no rush. We’ll do things at your pace?”

“Okay. I can do hanging out. I’m not promising anything will ever happen between us
, though. I don’t know if I will ever be ready,” she whispers the last part so quietly; I don’t think I was meant to hear it. Taking out my cell from my pocket, I hand it to her to enter her digits.

“
Well, I’ll talk to you soon then. Sweet dreams, Maisie,” I say, taking my cell from her and then walking away, her door quietly closing behind me.

The ride home gives me time to think. My head is telling me I should have left her alone. No good
can come of this. Love is a disease. My heart is telling me not to let her go, to get to know her and let someone in for once.  Even though I should listen to my head, I listen to my heart.

Chapter
4

Maisie

Eurgh. Somebody close the blinds. It’s far too early to be up after the night I had.

Ring
ring
.

What is that sound? Somebody make it stop before my head explodes!

Ring ring
.

Eurgh
. My cell phone. Who is ringing at this time in the morning? Do they know it’s not acceptable to ring before ten on a Sunday?

Reaching for my cell phone on the bedside cabinet, I answer without bothering to see who it is.

“Hello.” Great. I sound like a frog. I need water, now.

“Good morning
, croaky,” a guy laughs on the other end of the line.

“Erm... Who is this?”

“I’m offended that you don’t recognize my voice, Maisie.” The guy laughs again. Jesse. How did he get my number? Come on, Maisie, think! Ohhhh, I gave it to him last night. What was I thinking?

“Oh, sorry.
I’m still half asleep, and I totally forgot that I gave you my number.”  I mentally cringe at admitting that last part.

“After how much you drank last night, I’m not surprised. Anyway, I called to see if you wanted to hang out today? I was thinking about maybe going to the zoo
. I haven’t been there for a few years. What do you think?” Well, if I wasn’t awake before, I sure am now.

Sitting up in bed, I squint out of the window
, trying to think of a reply. Damn it. I said we could start hanging out and get to know each other. That’s it. I should not be allowed to be left alone talking to a hot guy when I’ve had too much to drink. Why did Chloe allow Jesse to take me home, when only a few hours prior, I explained my situation with Jesse to her? I’m going to have serious words with my so called best friend. Now, I have no choice but to go and spend time with him. Alone. This is going to be fun.

“Erm.
Yeah, the zoo is fine. Give me thirty minutes?” I’m in dire need of a shower. I have vodka coming out of my pores! Hang on... maybe I should stay smelling like shit. That way, he might leave me alone, and I won’t have to try and get to know him? Hmm, it’s tempting...

“Great. I’ll pick you up in thirty. See you soon
, Maisie.” Wait, he drives a motorbike!

“
NO, WAIT...” He’s already hung up. Great, now I have to ride on his killer machine again, except I’m sober this time. Pull up your big girl panties, you idiot! It’s just a motorbike. You can do this.

Checking the time, I see that I only have twenty eight minutes left.
I slowly get up from my bed, and my head feels like it has been trampled on by a stampede of elephants. Where did I put my Advil? I find some in my bag, take two, and then make my way to the shower.

The scorching hot water beating down on my face feels amazing. I could stand under here all day, if the water wouldn’t eventually run out. Scrubbing myself clean of any remnants of alcohol
coming out of my pores, I savor the feeling of being fresh. There’s nothing better than washing off grime from the day before. Making sure that I’ve shaved all my vital parts, so that I don’t look like a hairy gorilla, I jump out of the shower and towel dry off.

Surveying my
dresser, I decide to wear something comfy. I pull out a white tank top with my denim jacket and black leggings. Comfy and casual. It’s not like I’m trying to impress Jesse. He’s just my friend, albeit an overly good looking friend who makes my heart rate increase. Don’t even go there, Maisie. Shaking my head to rid myself of inappropriate thoughts of him, I apply some mascara and eye liner. I decide to let my hair air dry, so I put on my black boots and grab my bag.

Ring
ring
. I reach for my cell and see Jesse’s number pop up.

“Hi
,” I say, answering the call.

“I’m downstairs. You ready?”

“Let me just lock up. I’ll be down in two minutes.” Hanging up the call, I go to the window and see if I can spot him. There he is, standing right below my window, leaning against his motorbike, his legs crossed at the ankles, and sunglasses over his eyes. Wearing a black leather jacket, black t-shirt that hugs his muscles in all the right places, and black jeans with black biker boots, he looks every bit a biker. I’m not going to lie; I’m dribbling just staring at him from the second floor. I can just imagine what he will look like from up close. Calm down. You’re just friends, remember. Don’t be drooling all over him when you’re face to face.

As I m
ake my way downstairs, my hands start to shake. I’m nervous as hell.

“Took your time
, didn’t you, darling?” Jesse gives me his dimpled grin while pushing off of his motorbike, walking to meet me on the path. Oh yeah, he looks even better up close. My heart rate is rapidly increasing already. It’s beating so loud, I’m sure he can hear it.

“Well
, I didn’t want to appear eager did I?” I say, laughing nervously. Talk about playing it cool.

“You look very nice today
, by the way.” I look down at the ground, feeling a blush creeping up my neck and onto my face. “Come on, then. Let’s get going before the traffic gets bad.” After passing me the helmet, he helps me secure it properly. Climbing onto the back of the bike, I wrap my arms around his chest, holding on for dear life, and we haven’t even left yet. God, I can feel every contour of his body. It feels amazing with clothes on, so I can only imagine what it would feel like to run my hands over it with him naked. Shaking my head for the second time today to rid myself of inappropriate thoughts of Jesse, I focus on my heart beat instead. I think my heart is going to pop out of my chest in a minute.

“Maisie, could you loosen up a little bit? I can’t breathe when you squeeze me like an anaconda.” Loosening my grip a little bit, Jesse starts up the engine, and then we breeze down the road.

****

A journey which should have taken twenty minutes
, took thirty. I didn’t take into account that I was going to be riding on a motorbike, in the September chill, when I got ready today. That doesn’t matter though; I was only cold for a few minutes. Jesse is like a human radiator. His heat seeped into my body, warming me from the outside in. Every time the wind blew, I got a whiff of his cologne, a spicy, woodsy smell. I hadn’t smelt anything like it before, but it was quickly becoming my favorite smell. I kept taking sneaky sniffs of him throughout the journey, until it was engraved into my nostrils. Hey, I’m not being creepy! I’m just memorizing the smell in case I want to buy it for myself.
Who am I trying to kid?

“Maisie, you can let go now. We’re here
,” Jesse says, smiling at me over his shoulder. God, his smile is so beautiful. After I unwrap my arms from around his torso, I jump off the motorbike and unclasp the helmet. “What’s with the sad face? You’ll be able to put your arms back around me in a few hours. Don’t worry, darling.” Jesse smirks at me. I want to knock the smirk off of his face for that comment. His ego seems to know no bounds.

“Let me tell you something
, Jesse. If this whole
getting to know each other
thing is going to work, then you need to stop with the unnecessary comments. I don’t mind being friends, but friends don’t talk to each other like that. Knock it off, okay?” That came out harsher than I had intended, but I told him last night that I wasn’t ready for more than friendship. He needs to respect my wishes, even if it’s not what I want deep down. I need to protect myself because he would definitely steal the rest of my heart before I could say no, but also break it before I could say look after it. Trying to be more than friends is just not worth the heart ache that will be sure to follow within a few months. Jesse said so himself last night that he’s a lady’s man. He uses them, and then when he’s bored, chucks them before they even have their clothes back on. I don’t want to be another one on a long list of girls that he’s done it too. I have more dignity than that, even though last night didn’t exactly prove that.

Jesse holds his hands up in the air, trying to hide his smirk.

“Okay, I can do that. I said we’ll go at your pace, remember. Come on then, friend. Let’s go and get our tickets.” I’m not going to lie; my heart hurts when he calls me friend. I just need to remember that it was my request to be friends and nothing more. Damn the safety of my heart!

****

I’m standing next to the orangutan enclosure, waiting for Jesse to come back with some drinks. I have to admit, today has been quite fun. We’ve been getting along really well, considering I’ve been nothing but a jerk to him since I met him. We’ve just been talking about a lot of random things really, but this is just what I have needed; something to take my mind off of the past few months.

Staring at the
orangutans, I look at their sad faces. I know they can’t help but look miserable because they don’t have the muscles to smile, but they really do look fed up with life. They kind of remind me of myself recently. Maybe that’s why I’ve been standing outside their enclosure for the last fifteen minutes. I’d hate to be trapped behind a cage and have random people staring at and taking pictures of me all day long. If they had face muscles, I’m sure they would still look miserable.

“Here’s your water
,” Jesse says, holding out a bottle of water toward me.

“
Thanks.” Opening the bottle, I gulp down at least half of it. I’m sure a few drops dripped down my chin from where I missed my mouth. How attractive! If they did, Jesse doesn’t say anything.

“So, what do you want to go and see now? You have a choice of elephants, lions
, or tigers?” Jesse asks, looking at the map of what animals we have left to see.

“That’s easy.
The elephants. They are my favorite animal to see at the zoo.”  A big smile stretches across my face at the thought of seeing elephants. I may look crazy, but I have loved them ever seen seeing the Disney film ‘Dumbo’ when I was little. I have a big collection of stuffed elephants at home, which I’ve collected over the years.

“
If I’d known elephants would make you smile this big, I would have brought you here first. Maybe I should dress up as an elephant for Halloween?” A laugh bubbles up out of me at the image of Jesse in an elephant costume. I would pay good money to see the football captain dressed as an elephant!

“That I have got to see!” I try and say between laughing. Jesse just stares at me with amusement and a big smile on his face.

“It’s done then. I will dress up as an elephant for your amusement. You best give me some candy for the effort. Actually, I want a whole bag of candy for that.”

“You can have two bags of candy if you do that. It’s going to be priceless. Will you let me take a picture?” That picture has Facebook material written all over it. I can’t
wait for Halloween now. Calming my laughter down to just giggles because my cheeks hurt, I wipe under my eyes to clear the moisture from my tears.

“Only if you will be in the picture as well?
I’ll put it as your caller ID.”

“Okay
, but only if I can put it on Facebook. The world has to see this!”

“That’s okay with me. I’m not going to be embarrassed.” Jesse laughs, walking
toward the elephants.

The zoo keeper has just announced that
it’s feeding time. I’ve never fed the elephants before. Picking out some fruit from the bucket, I put my hand out, waiting for the elephant to take it. When I see one walking over to me, a huge smile overtakes my face. I wish I could touch it, but unfortunately, we’re not allowed. I’ll go to Thailand one day, just to ride one. Watching the elephant take the food from my hand, a flash goes off to my left. I turn and find Jesse with his cell aimed at me.

“Did you just take a picture of me?” I ask, putting my hands on my hips, trying to look stern. I hate people taking pictures of me without permission
, but the look on Jesse’s face shocks me. He’s looking at me with complete adoration on his face. It throws me for a loop.

“Yeah
, sorry. I’ll delete it if you want, but you just looked so happy. I couldn’t risk not taking a photo. This way, you will remember the day you fed an elephant for the first time.” This guy amazes me more and more throughout the day. I’ve realized today, that behind the man whore exterior, Jesse is a softy at heart. It’s confusing me. It would be so much easier to not like him if he was a jerk. That way, I could hate him, meaning I wouldn’t have to talk to him. Except he’s not a jerk. Well, not to me he isn’t, and that is what is confusing me. I can’t exactly just stop talking to him because he’s being nice, or then I would be the jerk.

Taking the
cell from him, I look at the picture that he’s just taken. Wow. It’s an amazing photo. I actually look really happy. I haven’t seen myself this happy in months. I’m standing there, smiling up at the elephant, while he takes the food, going on with his day-to-day life. “It’s beautiful, Jesse.” I don’t know what else to say. It truly is a beautiful picture.

“It is. You look so carefree. It’s a nice thing to see for a change. I’ll get it printed for you, if you want?”

“Yes, please. I want to remember this forever.” Passing Jesse back his cell phone, we head off toward the lions. I really don’t know what to say to him right now. I’m speechless.