All Said and Undone (10 page)

He caught her hand, his eyes haunting her with their naked vulnerability. “Let me sleep with you tonight. No sex. Just…let me hold you.”

It wasn’t fair what she was doing, but she had to stick with it. She didn’t want to regret letting him back in their bed, not after missing him for so long. “I—I don’t trust myself with you.”

He nodded, looking down at their hands, gently releasing his grip. “I’m not sure I trust myself, either. Anyway, thank you for coming tonight.”

“You’re welcome.” She went to bed, unsure how much more of this she could take.

The lead actress of the show was still throwing diva hysterics, and thus Grace had been given another day off. She was thankful because she needed it.

Jack had come to her door early that morning and told her he had to go to Phoenix for the night. She wondered if he had arranged that, last minute, to get away from her. She couldn’t blame him. How many times was she going to push him away until he finally stopped trying?

She didn’t know what would be worse than fearing Jack would give up.

While ordering some makeup samples online, she received a call from Claire.

She had explained to her mother-in-law that Jack was gone on an overnight business trip, but to her surprise, Claire asked to spend time with her alone that afternoon.

Grace had scrambled for an excuse, but only came up with a fat blank. She accepted the invitation to join Claire for tea. Just the two of them. This would be a first.

They met in Westchester, at the Velveteen House, one of Claire’s favorite spots. The walls were clad in rich, dark fabrics, with gloriously pretentious chandeliers, mismatched teacups, live music, and a sassy but sweet owner who loved to fuss over her guests. Claire chose her usual three-course selection with Yunan tea, a black tea with bits of chocolate. After they ordered their fancy crustless sandwiches and decadent desserts, Claire was quick to speak her mind as she gazed at Grace with those assessing eyes. “Why do you look like you haven’t slept since the last time I saw you?”

Darn. She should’ve added more concealer under her eyes. “It’s been a busy week. Long hours.”

“Mmm….” Claire picked up the small pot of tea and poured for Grace. “Is everything all right?”

Her heart pumped an extra beat. Did Claire know about her and Jack?

“Of course,” she said, smoothing her damp palms on her skirt.

Her mother-in-law watched her. Grace fiercely wondered what the woman was thinking, if she had any clue about her and Jack’s separation, if their show the other night had been for naught.

“Good. I would hate to hear my Jack hasn’t been taking good care of you.”

She found that hard to believe. “Really?”

The server brought out the scarlet sorbet and tea sandwiches. Claire thanked the waitress and requested more sugar to be brought out, returning her attention back to an astonished Grace. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Maybe it was exhaustion, or her vow to be honest about her feelings this week, that compelled Grace to be frank. “You haven’t exactly been the greatest supporter of our relationship.”

Claire looked surprised but not insulted. “Yes, I know.” Something changed in the older woman’s eyes, softening her appearance, as if she could finally put away the cold mask of silence. “At first I thought you weren’t good for Jack. I thought you would distract him. And you did. As soon as he met you, you were all he could talk about, on and on. A quality
I
never instilled in him.”

Grace stirred sugar into her tea, attempting to keep a smile from forming. Jack go on and on? Now there was a revelation.

Claire continued. “All I ever wanted for my son was the best, but I couldn’t give it to him. He had to earn it. When he was young, we were living on my paltry income as a part-time nurse with nothing saved. His father could never hold a job, always getting involved in senseless get-rich-quick schemes. He abandoned Jack after the divorce, promising as soon as he had something going for himself he’d come and get him.” She sighed. “That never happened. I had to raise him by myself. I did my best to make sure Jack knew he never had to settle. He could always reach higher. He got a basketball scholarship, worked two jobs in college, and sent me money when I didn’t get enough hours at the hospital….” She cleared her throat, lifting her gaze to meet Grace’s. “I wanted him to be successful first, start a family later. Then he met you. I was afraid he’d burden himself with too much.”

Jack didn’t talk about his father, and Grace never asked too many questions. It was interesting to know that although the man was out of the picture after Jack had turned thirteen, her husband, to this day, showed qualities of his father’s influence. Now Grace understood why Jack delayed having children, always claiming he wanted a bigger home, more money in the bank, more security. It wasn’t simply wanting to be responsible, it was a subconscious need to overcome his father’s failures, and perhaps never feeling he, himself, was enough to be a father.

“Claire, you knew I supported Jack one hundred percent,” Grace said defensively. “I never held him back.”
But you did resent him for going so hard at his job
, a voice said. Another regret she’d have to swallow, and make up for.

“I admit I was skeptical,” Claire said. “I thought you would take advantage of Jack’s incessant need to take care of everyone. Especially after you eloped just a few months of meeting each other.”

Grace nodded, thinking back to Jack’s proposal, to their quiet wedding on the beach with only a few friends there to witness it. “I know it was fast….but it felt right.” Still did.

Claire reached across the table and squeezed Grace’s hand. “And I was
wrong
. You were your own woman and that is part of the reason why he loves you. But he is who he is, and no matter how independent you are, a part of him will always want to take care of you.” She smiled, released Grace’s hand, sitting back. “Jack will never admit he’s got a little of his father in him…that need to be larger than life and want for nothing. I fell in love with that ambition, that drive, and despite how much I detest my ex-husband now….” Her gaze drifted away. “His intentions were always good. He wanted us to be rich, wanted to provide Jack with so much more. But he was a dreamer, not a worker. And selfish. Jack is smarter than his father, giving. Instead of demanding money be handed to him, he earns it. And he wanted to be successful even faster so he could be worthy in your eyes. It’s the way he is.”

Grace’s heart burned with guilt as she swallowed the hot tea. He was always worthy.

“I know my manner can be a little brazen at times,” Claire went on, fingering the fresh berry Romanoff, “but I adore you, darling, honestly I do. And I am happy you threw caution to the wind and followed your heart without listening to a cynical, old woman. You have a talent and pursued your dream as an artist. A woman can only respect that. ” Her gaze moved to the tea in her cup. “When I married for love, it broke my heart; I let it take my dreams. You have your dreams. Jack has his. Just remember the most beautiful ones are the ones you decide to do together.”

“You make it sound as though happiness slipped through your fingers,” Grace pointed out with a small smile. “You remarried.”

“Oh, darling, that was definitely for money,” her mother-in-law said, a sparkle in her blue eyes. Grace knew that wasn’t entirely true.

Absorbing the whole conversation, Grace finally said, “Thank you, Claire.”

They sipped tea in silence for a few minutes. She was beginning to understand Jack a little more, and the surprise confession from Claire reminded Grace what she’d forgotten she had.

“My son needs you and wants to give you everything,” Claire said, as if having an inkling things weren’t perfect at home. She gave her a wink. “Let him.”

As she got home that night, Grace wished she would find Jack there.

Finding herself alone, instead, she made sure to lock everything and secure the alarm.

After taking a long bath, she settled in bed, turning her ring over and over on her finger, thoughts of their wedding day replaying in her head.

Her cell phone rang. It was almost midnight.

Jack’s number flashed on her screen.

She answered with a pleasant surprise in her tone. “Hi.”

“Hello,” he said, his deep voice tickling her ear.

“Everything okay?”

“I can’t sleep.”

She settled back on her pillows with a sigh. “Me, either.”

“I thought I’d take a chance and give you a call. I’m sorry I pushed you last night. I guess if there’s one thing you know about me it’s that I’ll never stop wanting you, Grace.” She bit her lip at the statement, briefly closing her eyes, at a loss for any sort of reply.

He cleared his throat. “How was your day?”

Caught off guard by his question, it took her a moment to answer. “I had the day off. They had to postpone filming because our lead actress wasn’t cooperating again.”

“More drama?” he said. “What did you do with yourself?”

She smiled in the dark. “Actually, I spent the day with your mother.”

“You did?” Disbelief laced his tone.

“Yes, it’s true. We had tea and sinful little desserts this afternoon. It was nice.”

“Ah, of course, the Velveteen House. That was kind of you…I’d think it would be the last thing you’d want to do. Spend alone-time with her.”

“I was glad I did. We had a nice chat.” She decided to add, “Your mother is a smart woman. I think she knows more about us than we realize.”

Silence again.

She heard him sigh on the other end, shifting the receiver to his other ear. Just as she was about to say something trivial to kill the quiet, he said, “I’ve been thinking about what you said. About how we can’t go back to the way things were. I think…before I come home, we should talk about some of the changes we need to make if we’re going to make things work between us.”

She spoke with quiet, but desperate, firmness. “I agree.”

“All right….” he said. “You first.”

She didn’t hesitate. “We need to make time for each other, Jack, and not just once in a while on a weekend, and not just for the first month or two. Right?”

“Right.”

“My schedule can be unpredictable sometimes, but I will always try to be home before seven.” She bit her lip. “Your turn.”

“Okay, well, sometimes I don’t know I’m going to stay late at the office until that afternoon. On those days, I’ll call.”

She checked back a groan. “Is it imperative you work late at the office? Can’t you bring the work home?”

“Can you?”

“That’s a silly question. Of course I can’t. My clients aren’t paperwork.”

“And my work isn’t always mobile,” he said. “If I stay at the office to finish up, it isn’t because I want to, it’s because I have to.”

He had a point. She sighed. “Makes sense.”

“What else?”

The next one was essential to her. “We have dinner together at least twice a week. Doesn’t matter whether it’s at the house, in your office, or a restaurant, just as long as we eat together.”

“I can do that.”

Now that they had started the conversation, more ideas popped into her head, stirring the anticipation of actually following through with them. But she held back from bombarding him with too much at once. “Anything else for you?”

He took a moment as she waited. “Sure. I wouldn’t mind if you showed up at my office in nothing but a coat and high heels. With a steak.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. “Jack! Be serious.”

“You don’t think I’m being
serious
about that?”

She smiled. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

“Okay, okay.” She imagined him smiling on the other end of the phone. “Another thing. I’d like you to commit to at least one function with me every season.”

“Oh, I saw this coming,” she said. “Let’s see. I’ll just commit myself right now. The fabulous Novacom family Christmas party. The company retreat in the fall. The annual charity ball in the spring. And…the naked mud wrestling barbecue in July.”

Through his laughter, he asked, “What was that last one?”

“Oh, wait. That one is for
my
job.”

His deep chuckle warmed her. It had been so long since they’d talked like this, making her want to giggle like a teenager.

“Naked anything,” he remarked, “Count me in on that, for sure. You have a good memory, by the way. Remembering all of the major events Novacom puts on.”

“Not really. The invitations were always sent here.”

“Oh.”

She could’ve kicked herself for blurting out something so offhand, yet so heavy in meaning. All those months she’d collected the invitations in the mail, wondering if he was going, if he’d call her and ask her to go, just for appearance’s sake. He never did.

“I think that’s good for now,” he said after a long stretch of silence. “We’ll negotiate some more when I get home.”

The lightness was lost. “All right. Good night, Jack.”

“’Bye, Grace.”

Her hand fell to her side as she hung up the call.

“Your husband was here.”

Grace skidded to a stop, breathless from running across the parking lot, her arms full with bags. She had barely walked in the door of the studio where
Housewife Secrets
was filmed when Shelby Wright, the show’s head of wardrobe, blurted out those four words.

She turned toward the redhead. It felt like déjà vu. “Say again?”

“You heard me,” Shelby said with a grin, tossing a blouse to her shoulder, “Your husband Jack. He just left a few minutes ago. I told him you would be back in a jiffy but he said he couldn’t hang out for long.”

Grace walked over to the table to put down the bags. “Wait. My…Jack? Was here?”

“Holy cow, it’s like you’re suffering from amnesia!” Shelby exclaimed. “And I don’t know how you possibly could be
suffering
with a man like that as your husband.” She squeezed a stunned Grace on the forearm, stopping to chew her bubblegum. “You didn’t tell me you were married to a McHottie.”