Alpha Instinct: A Moon Shifter Novel (10 page)

But he couldn’t tell her why he’d gone. Couldn’t risk her knowing the real reason.

Ana’s throat constricted as she stared into Connor’s green eyes. Even in the bright lights of the kitchen they looked darker. Hell, everything about him looked darker tonight.

Hungrier.

Almost feral. But in a sexy, edgy way. Definitely not scary. Her skin heated under his stare. Why did he have to look so good?

She stared at him, waiting and wanting him to do something to ease the ache she felt inside. She briefly thought about asking him why he’d left, but bit the question back. Maybe there had been someone else. That thought stung impossibly deep and she didn’t want to hear the answer. If she pushed harder and he told her there had been another female … that would be worse than not knowing. With his hard length pressing against her abdomen and distracting the hell out of her, it was hard to think of anything other than what he would look like naked. Yes, she wanted to keep some control, but she was also a female and wanted him to want her as much as she did him.

Finally she broke the silence. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you where I was today.” She hadn’t meant to make him worry. She wasn’t used to checking in with anyone but her sisters. And checking in with him meant she really did have a new Alpha. That the males of her pack were truly and utterly gone and the Cordona women were moving on. In a way they were luckier than humans because they lived longer, but by the same stroke they were cursed. Her entire life was wrapped up in her pack, and when so many of them died it had been like part of her had died too.

Now she was letting Connor into her life. At least when he’d left her she’d been young and had been able to move on, but now things were different. They weren’t just friends anymore. He might have agreed to let her wait, but soon they’d be mates. At least temporarily. They were going to know each other in the most intimate way possible. Her resolve to keep him compartmentalized in her life was strong, but she was afraid that once they slept together it would be a whole lot harder.

“The pack has to know you and I are a solid team.” Connor’s voice broke into her train of thought. “Your sisters and cousins will follow your lead, sweetheart. If you don’t respect me, they won’t either.” His words struck a chord.

She was so used to being the leader by default that she’d forgotten what it was like to have an Alpha. And what was up with him calling her sweetheart? That wasn’t part of the plan. He’d never been romantic before. Playful and teasing, yes, but not romantic. She didn’t want him to start now, even though the word on his lips made something foreign inside her chest twist with an emotion she wasn’t sure she wanted to define.

Right now she needed to build up a resistance to his charms. If she could keep some sort of control between them, she’d be okay.

He raked his teeth along her jaw, sending desire straight to the building heat in her belly. It blossomed, waiting for someone to give her the release she desperately needed. All her thoughts short-circuited. Why was he nibbling against her neck? This was
so
not part of the plan either.

An alarm bell went off in her head. His hands were at the hem of her sweater. Pushing up. She could practically feel what it would be like if he kept going and cupped her breasts. Held them in his callused hands. Stroked and teased them until she was so hot she could burst into flames.
Stay in control.
She repeated the words in her head and frantically grabbed his wrists. “What are you doing?” she blurted.

He stepped back and out of her embrace. His breathing was harsh and uneven and his canines had lengthened slightly. “Shit,” he muttered. “I’m sorry. I know I told you I’d give you time, not take you on the kitchen counter.” His eyes seemed to bore right through her.

“You don’t want me?” Sharp disappointment punched through her chest even though she was the one who’d stopped things. What the hell was wrong with her? This was supposed to be a good thing. He was giving her what she wanted. She had control back, but all her body seemed to want was his hands
back
on her body.

“I … shit.” He turned and stalked out of the kitchen, then out the front door before she could move.

An icy fist clasped around her heart. She might have wanted to wait until they mated, but she
wanted
him like she’d never wanted anyone else. On a completely physical level, she hungered to feel his naked body against hers. To feel him slide his hard shaft into her. It had been so long since she’d even thought about sex, but with Connor in her life, it seemed her familiar fantasies had flared to life once again. Only this time she’d be able to live out her fantasies if she wanted.

At that moment she’d never in her life felt more like a fickle woman. Even though she’d thought she wanted to wait, all he had to do was put his hands on her and she wanted to strip off her clothes.

After she ascended the stairs and entered the master bedroom, she quickly changed out of her sweater and jeans and into a long pajama set. Normally she liked to sleep naked or in just a shirt, but that wasn’t happening tonight. Not if she wanted to stay sane.

Her sisters had done a good job of cleaning the house. Everything in the room looked perfect. Crisp, clean towels were folded on the rocking chair in the corner of the room. The wrought-iron, king-sized bed had a new, luxurious sage-colored comforter, and Carmen had no doubt added the tea-light candles on the nightstand. Everything else was fairly spare. Antique furniture pieces littered the house, but it lacked a female touch. If they were going to be living there for a while, she was going to make some changes. But for now, she lit the candles and slipped under the covers.

Now all she could do was wait.

Connor stalked by house after house until he reached his brother’s cabin. Most of it would be empty because his guys were out patrolling the perimeter, but Liam wasn’t on duty tonight.

He started to open the front door when it swung open. A tired grin played across his brother’s face. “Thought I smelled you. What the hell are you doing here? Thought you and Ana would be tearing up the sheets—”

“Damn it, Liam,” he muttered. He knew his brother was just messing with him, but he didn’t like anyone thinking or talking about Ana in those terms. Connor glanced past him and into the cabin. No one else was there, so he felt free to talk. “I don’t know why I’m here.”

Wordlessly Liam stepped outside and leaned against the wood railing of the porch. And waited.

Connor scrubbed a hand over his face. “I was ready to take her right on the kitchen counter.”

“And that’s a bad thing?” Amusement laced Liam’s words.

“She’s not ready.”

“Ana’s a big girl. She made the deal.”

“Because she had no other choice. I
gave
her no other choice.” He slammed his fist against the railing and winced when he saw a new indentation in the wood. Everything had seemed so clear before he’d arrived at Cordona Ranch. He’d come in, sweep her off her feet and offer the protection she needed. But he didn’t want her gratitude. He just wanted her.

Willing and all his.

Mind and body.

“So go back over there and get creative.”

The last thing he wanted to do was take advice from his younger brother. Liam hadn’t stayed with a woman longer than a week. Then again, neither had he. “Creative?”

His brother grinned wickedly. “Get your mind out of the gutter. Not like that. Show some restraint, man. Show her that you’re not a fucking animal—even though that’s exactly what you are. You want her to trust you? Give her a reason to.
Restraint.
Repeat it.”

“You’re probably right,” he muttered.

“No
probably
about it. I am. And if you want her to trust you, you’ve
got
to tell her about the cubs.”

“I know.
I will.
” Bringing a wolf cub into a new pack was one thing, but bringing in a new she-cat was something else entirely. Felines and lupines didn’t exactly get along. Well, he had no problem with them, but right now he and Ana were still feeling each other out and he was on shaky ground with her. She might have accepted him as Alpha but this was still a temporary arrangement to her. He could see it on her face every time he looked at her. He didn’t want to spring one more change on her so soon.

“Don’t be an idiot. She’s going to find out about them sooner than later, so if I were you—”

He growled low in his throat. “One thing at a time. I need to feel her out first.”

Liam snorted. “Feel her out or feel her up?”

Connor sighed as he stepped off the front porch. “Let me know if there’s a problem tonight.”

Liam nodded and stepped back inside.

Connor stared at the two-story home that would be his and Ana’s for a while. It loomed before him like a dungeon.
Restraint?
He’d been dreaming about Ana for the past fifty years, and Liam wanted him to show restraint.

In the kitchen he’d been ready to turn her around, mount her, and mark her, taking her as his bondmate.
Despite
the promise he’d made to her. He’d felt his most primal side taking over and if he hadn’t stopped, he’d never have forgiven himself. Worse, she’d have hated him for life.

Restraint, restraint, restraint.
He repeated the words over and over as he opened the front door.

All the lights were off downstairs and Ana’s scent lingered on the stairs. Okay, she was in one of the bedrooms. He could show restraint.

He hoped.

A soft light illuminated the hallway through the only open door along the long hallway. He stepped into the room to find Ana sitting in the middle of the giant bed with a sheet clutched tightly against her chest.

And she was completely clothed. His inner wolf sighed.

“I’m sorry I left.” His voice was hoarse.

“Why did you?”

“I needed to think. I realize I might have come on a little strong last night with my …” He couldn’t say
request
because it would be a lie, and he didn’t want to say
demand
because it made him feel like a bigger jackass than he was. “With our deal.”

“Might have?” She snorted loudly, and for some reason the irreverent sound put him at ease.

It was natural. The way she’d acted around him when they’d first met. Laughing and comfortable all the time. He strolled over to the rocking chair and moved the towels onto a bench by the window. He needed to keep his distance while he talked. Ana tracked his movements.

“Do you remember the first time we met?” he asked.

Her cheeks tinged pink as she nodded. “How could I forget? Two naked strangers surprised me while I was out riding.”

He and his brother had been swimming in one of her family’s ponds on their ranch in upstate New York. It had been a much different time then. Simpler. And at the same time more complex. He and Liam had been aimlessly roaming around the United States, trying to figure out where the hell they belonged. Before the Council had officially formed in North America and before they’d come out to the humans. He understood the Council had had no choice but to come out to the humans. With technology advancing so rapidly, it would have been a matter of time before their existence was discovered. Sighing, he shook those thoughts away. He didn’t care about that right now. All he cared about was the woman in front of him.

“You were so young then,” he said quietly. Young, full of life and ready to embrace anything.

Her shoulders tightened at his words. He wasn’t sure what he’d said but maybe it had been the wrong thing. “I’ve thought about you a lot over the years.”

She relaxed a fraction. “Really?”

“Yes.” More than he cared to admit. All he had to do was conjure up her face and he got hard. It was embarrassing, but he’d known from the moment he met her they were intended mates. Something she still didn’t seem to realize. One of the memories he carried of his father was him telling Connor that when he met his mate, he’d know.
“Na worries, wee wolf. Whin ah met yer ma, ah knew she wis th’ one for me. Ah felt it in mah gut th’ moment our eyes locked. Some dinnae ken richt awa’ but we Armstrongs have a history o’ just knowing. Ye will tay.”
And Connor had. Without a doubt. Every fiber inside him had come alive when he’d met Ana. His human side had understood that it was biology. At first. Which is part of the reason he’d resisted his original attraction to her. He’d wanted to be with her because
he
wanted her and she wanted him. Not because his body ordered him to mate with her. Then when he’d gotten to know her, his feelings had become something more. Deeper. Stronger.

Then he’d been forced to leave.

She hadn’t said she’d thought about him over the years, but he brushed past it. “I told you I’d give you time and I meant it.”

“Really?” she asked, her voice unsure.

No
. “Yes. We’re going to take things slow.” He stood and took off his shirt and shoes, but left his pants on. Normally he preferred to sleep naked or in his wolf form, but tonight he’d have to stay clothed. That extra barrier was necessary to hold on to his tiny shred of restraint. Hell, it was slowly dissipating as he stared at her luscious, parted lips.

She scooted over as he got under the covers with her, but he didn’t miss the way her dark eyes hungrily roved over his bare chest. Damn, she really was going to make this hard for him.

“What does
slower
mean for someone like you?” she finally asked.

“Someone like me?” He wasn’t sure if he should be offended.

Her cheeks stained an even darker shade of pink. “You know what I mean,
Alpha
. I’m sure you have a ton of experience with females, so I don’t know if this slow thing is something you can even do.” There was a blend of sarcasm and uncertainty in her words that was tempered with a hint of jealousy when she’d said the word
females
.

He wouldn’t deny he’d had a lot of experience before her, but after was a completely different story. And also not something he wanted to talk about. Ever. Right now was about the two of them. “I can do
slow
and soft.” He lowered his voice as he leaned closer. “And fast and hard, or a mix of the two. Whatever you want, Ana.”