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Authors: Lauren Crossley

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BOOK: Always and Forever
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“How are you?”

“I’m good. I’m great now that you’re here. You look
beautiful.” We both startle at his statement, I don’t think he meant to say
that out loud.

Feeling slightly uncomfortable and embarrassed by his
comment, I chew on my lower lip whilst trying to think up a reply to his
compliment. His passionate brown eyes drop to my lips again. I abstain from
smiling; loving the fact that I manage to arouse him.

“So, shall we sit?” I ask, interrupting his preoccupation
with my lips.

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to be cold. I’d invite you
over to my place but it’s far too chaotic. I don’t want to put you off before
you’ve even decided if I’m a good guy for you to be spending time with or not.”

“The ground is dry, I don’t mind.”

This time Jake offers me his hoodie but puts in on the
ground for me to sit on. I feel bad about it getting dirty but when I argue he
insists.

 “Why is it chaotic where you live?” I ask him
curiously.

“Because it’s full of women, I live with my mum and three
sisters.”

“You’re the only boy?”

“Yep. Don’t get me wrong, I love them but two of my sisters
are a nightmare and I don’t get much peace with all of them. I’m saving up to get
my own place but until them I have to put up with the bedlam.” He chuckles
lightly and I blurt my next question out before I can rein any control over my
brain.

“What about your dad?” I glance up at him and notice that
his expression has changed, the look is murderous and brutal. I’d be scared of
him if it were directed at me.

“He left years ago.” He says despondently.

“Jake, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked that question.”

“No, don’t worry about it.” He smiles at me in reassurance
but I’m certain that his relaxed demeanour is a front for my benefit.

“I sometimes wish mine would leave.” I gasp when I realise
how insensitive that must seem. He frowns, peering at me closely. I shut my
eyes, realising I’ve said too much.

“Why would you say that?” He asks me, the concern clear in
his voice.

“I’m sorry; I know how horrible and thoughtless that
sounded.”

“I don’t mean that. Why would you say that about your dad?
Is it that bad at home?”

“It is what it is.” I say, feeling dispirited. He obviously
wants me to elaborate but I don’t want to tarnish our time together by talking
about my father.

“It must be a little strange for you just living with your
mum and sisters?” I know we’ve already covered this but I’m desperate to change
the subject and direct the conversation back onto Jake.

“Yeah, it’s been that way for a few years now. We’re better
off without that waste of space.”

I say nothing. Who would have thought that we feel exactly
the same about our fathers?

“We don’t have to talk about this, Jake.”

“It’s ok, I want to. He used to hit my mum; he eventually
started on me when I was about ten.”

“I’m so sorry.” I know how feeble my apology sounds but I
really don’t know what else to say.

“He left after my sixteenth birthday. My sisters had spent
all day decorating the house for my party and he turned up drunk, he ruined the
whole thing. I was so angry with him, I confronted him and he took a swing at
me. My youngest sister was so scared, it just made me snap. I’d had enough of
his bullshit, we all had. I decided to take him on and so I threw a chair at
him.”

My mouth falls open in shock and I wonder if I misheard
him. His eyes remain fixed on the road ahead of us and I know that heard
correctly.

“Wow, I don’t quite know what to say.”

 “I’m sorry, Bethany. I shouldn’t have blurted it out
like that. I just don’t want you to feel sorry for me because there’s no need.
That day he got what he deserved, I think he was humiliated more than anything.
He was ashamed that I managed to beat him. When I was a kid I was defenceless,
I had no power against him and that’s when he started to beat me. I was adamant
that history wasn’t going to repeat itself with my sisters. They’re all younger
than me and I’m really protective over them. What I’m trying to say is, I don’t
regret what I did and I hope that you now don’t think any less of me for that.”
His apprehension is written all over his face, my reaction and opinion really
matters to him.

“Jake, how could I think any less of you? I actually
respect you even more for standing up for yourself.” He sighs with relief and
I’m glad to see the usual sparkle in his eyes has returned.

“Thank you. You have no idea what that means to me. I just
want you to know that I would never hurt you, Bethany. I don’t want you to feel
unsafe with me, I’m very protective over the people I care about but I would
never lay a finger on you, you have to believe me.” His eyes gaze steadily into
mine and I know he’s speaking the truth.

“I know that, Jake.” I say soothingly.

He can’t blame me for what I do next. The way he’s looking
at me provides me with enough incentive to be so bold. I tentatively reach my
hand out towards his, wondering what his reaction will be. The second our
fingers touch I feel an extraordinary and inextricable connection to him that I’ve
never felt before. He quickly interlaces our fingers together and even though
it’s so cold outside his hand is wonderfully warm. It fits around mine and
squeezes it protectively.

I guess my next decision can only be blamed on being
ridiculously overwhelmed. I pull my hand away, leaving Jake looking bewildered
and hurt. I really wanted to keep on holding his hand but the immense impact I
felt scared me. It’s too soon for me to be feeling like this. I want to put
some distance between us before I drown in this newly discovered and unfamiliar
territory.

“Oh, before I forget, I want to give you this.” He chooses
to ignore the fact that I pulled away from him and I’m thankful to him for
overlooking my uncertainty. He reaches his hand into his pocket and pulls out a
mobile phone before offering it to me

“What’s this?”

“Well, it’s just too hard for me not being able to talk
with you all week. I’m constantly wondering how you are and what you’re up to. I
know you don’t have a phone so I decided to buy you this, I’m sorry its pretty
basic but there’s enough credit on there to last you quite a while so we can at
least text each. I just… I really need a way of staying in touch with you.”

I stare down at the phone he’s now placed in my hand and I
find that I’m rendered speechless. The very idea of being able to talk with him
is just too incredible to be true. However, I also know how dangerous it is to
take a phone home with me. It will only add to the responsibility that I’ll
have by keeping it concealed.

“Jake, I can’t accept this, it’s too much.” I argue,
handing it back to him.

“Please, Bethany, just take it. I’m not really being
generous; I just can’t stand the thought of only being able to see you once a
week, I want more. A phone will at least allow us to contact one another.”

“But how can you afford this?”

“I work in a bar. Not the most ambitious career, I know.
It’s only temporary and the money’s fairly good so you don’t need to worry
about me buying you this, ok?”

I realise that what he’s saying is true; it does make sense
for me to take the phone and if he can afford to get me this then I probably
should accept it. I remember the constant worrying I’ve had to contend with all
week, the thought of being unable to meet Jake and also being unable to get in
touch with him to let him know. At least if I take the phone I’ll continue to
have a small connection with him. I weigh up advantages to accepting his gift
and the risk of getting caught with it. I curl my fingers around it and place
it in my own pocket before I change my mind.

“Thanks so much. This is really thoughtful of you.”

Jake insists on showing me how to use the phone, something
I’m secretly thankful for and after a brief tutorial I think I’ve pretty much
got the hang of it.

“It’s not too complicated so don’t worry.” He reassures me.

“I think I’ll figure it out.” I say hopefully. I’m actually
quite proud of myself for catching on so quickly. I’ve never had my own mobile
before so it did take a bit of getting used to.

“One day I’ll get you an iPhone. You’ll be amazed by what
one of those things can do.” He grins at me and blush, wondering why he would
mention buying me something as expensive as that.

“Is that what yours is?”

“Yeah, I swore I’d never get one but that was before I
realised what they can do and now I wouldn’t be without it.”  He
humorously rolls his eyes at himself making me laugh.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to figure out one of
those.”

“You can practise with mine if you want; you’ll pick it up
real easy. I promise you.”

“If you say so.” I say doubtfully.

“So, you now know that I work in a bar, something I’m not
going to boast about but at least it’s something. What about you? What do you
do, Bethany?” He gazes at me with those magnificent eyes and I completely lose
myself in them for several seconds.

“Nothing. Well, I help out in my father’s book store three
days a week but he doesn’t pay me or anything.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah…”

“And what would you like to do if you could choose for
yourself?” He asks, raising his eyebrows at me. I can detect an underlying
humorous tone in his voice and I’m not sure if he’s flirting or being serious.

“I really don’t know, I guess I’ve never had the option before
so I’ve never really considered it. Listen, Jake, I better get going soon; I
need to be home before my father gets back.”

“It feels like we’ve only been talking a few minutes but I
understand you need to hurry home. The thing is… I know you don’t like talking
about it but I need to ask, how come your dad’s so strict? Are you an only
child?”

My heart starts beating rapidly, how am I going to be able
to explain this?

“Yeah, I am.” I say quietly.

“So that explains why he’s so protective of you, if you’re
his only daughter that will make you even more special to him.”

 I don’t want to say anything in reply but I can’t
help myself.

“I wish it were just like that.” I mutter.

“What do you mean?” He gently touches my shoulder, turning me
to face him. I sigh, feeling defeated. Maybe I should open up to him a little
more, Jake did tell me about his own father and maybe I should repay his
confidence.

“The truth is that you couldn’t be more wrong about my
father. He isn’t overprotective of me because he cares. He… well, he’s not a
nice man, let’s just leave it at that.” I hope this will be enough to satisfy
Jake’s curiosity and put an end to his speculation. I couldn’t have been more
wrong.

“What do you mean when you say he’s not a nice man? Why?
What does he do? He… he doesn’t hit you, does he? Tell me the truth, Bethany.
He doesn’t hurt you, right?” The rage builds up in his questioning, until I
feel like I’m being interrogated.

 I look away from him, not wanting to have this
conversation. My time with Jake is supposed to be my escape from all of this,
the one time I can forget about my miserable home life and yet my unhappiness
seems to have crept its way into our time together.

He places his hands on my shoulders and once again turns me
to face him. Damn, there really is no chance that he’ll let this go. He’s
already demanding that I tell him the truth.

“Can we please just stop talking about this?”

“Not a chance. Bethany. Does he hit you?” He persists
forcefully. His eyes are desperate; he’s intent on getting to the bottom of
this. I also notice a flicker of something else, its anger and I can’t quite
understand why.

“No, Jake, he doesn’t hit me but it’s complicated.”

“How?”

“It just is. It’s hard to explain.”

“I’m sure I’ll manage to keep up.” He encourages me.

I clench my fists, feeling utterly exasperated. Why does he
have to be so stubborn? Why does he have to push me on this?

BOOK: Always and Forever
7.89Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
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