Armadillos & Old Lace (25 page)

The author would like to thank the following Americans: Don Imus, longtime imaginary childhood friend and toboggan companion, for his continuing encouragement and support, up to and including plugging
Elvis, Jesus & Coca-Cola
from the intensive care unit of New York Hospital; Mike McGovern, my favorite Irish poet, who, over dim sum in Chinatown one morning, came up with the tide
Armadillos & Old Lace
; Chuck Adams, my discerning and dedicated editor, and Joann DiGenarro, Maya Rutherford, and all the folks at Simon & Schuster for believing in me and working to help me achieve my personal goals of becoming fat, famous, and financaily fixed by fifty; Esther “Lobster” Newburg, my literary agent, for repeatedly telling people, many of whom already disliked me intensely, that I was a genius; Elisa Petrini, who survived being my editor once and, God love her, is my editor again for
Elvis, Jesus & Coca Cola
in paperback (Bantam); and Jim Landis, Jane Meara, and Lori Ames, whom I’m no longer “with,” as they say, but to whom I’m forever grateful for so generously helping me on my way.

Also, a tip of the ol’ cowboy hat to Steve Rambam, long-suffering technical advisor; Jay Wise; Max Swafford; the drop-dead gorgeous Stephanie DuPont for petulantly sitting this one out; Dennis Laviage, for supplying the Jesus joke on page 3; and, last but not least, Rudyard Kipling, for providing the particularly apt similes for the three occasions in which Sambo the dog smiles. May Rudyard continue to inspire and Sambo continue to smile.

P.S.: I’d like to thank two fine ladies, both good Americans and good sports, for their help and indulgence in this obvious work of fiction: Frances A. Kaiser, Sheriff, Kerr County; and the Hon. Patricia E. Knox, Justice of the Peace, Precinct 1, Kerrville, Texas.

KINKY FRIEDMAN
, former leader of the band The Texas Jewboys, lives on a ranch in the Texas Hill Country with two dogs, two cats, and one armadillo. He is the author of eight internationally acclaimed mystery novels and six country-music albums; his latest CD is
From One Good American to Another.
Whenever possible, he still sings the songs that made him infamous and reads from the books that made him respectable.