Ascending Darkness (Shattering the Darkness) (8 page)

“Did you not think I would see the pictures of you and him? Out to dinner.... at some fancy event... think you’re high class now don’tcha, bitch? Looks like it’s time to remind you of what you are and where you belong.”

“I do not belong to you.” Even I can hear the growl in my voice.

“Oh, but you do, you fucking whore
,” his voice is laced with venom; making evident, the distain he holds for me. “You always have and you always will. You are my property. This jackass thinks he has some claim to you?” he laughs. “I own you bitch and I will never let you go. You’re coming with me.”

I look to my gorgeous and kind Adonis
(something Stevie could never be)… his barely conscious body… and I know that I have to save him from this horrendous life that I have exposed him to.

“If I go with you… will you let Breccan go?
” I ask straightening my shoulders and looking the man I hate more than anything in this world, straight in the eyes.

“No,” he sneers.

“Then you may as well go fuck yourself because there is no way I am leaving here with you,” I hiss at him.

“Wrong again, bitch,
” he states in a matter of fact voice.

I watch as it happens in slow motion...

Stevie lifts his gun and points it right at Breccan’s temple. I feel my feet move me to stop him, but I can’t make any progress. He just seems further away with each step. I run harder and faster without ever reaching him. I feel as if I am stuck in a vacuum.

I hear a loud bang
, that makes my ears ring, and watch as blood spatters everywhere. Breccan’s whole frame goes limp. The knowledge hits me like a freight train that my beautiful Adonis is dead.

“NO!” I hear a blood curdling scream
… and realize it’s me.

“BRECCAN!”

I jolt upright in bed gasping for breath, disoriented, my heart racing, tears streaming out of my eyes and down my cheeks.

The door to the bedroom I am in opens and Breccan is standing there in his slacks and nothing else.

“Harper, are you okay?” he asks as he rushes to the bed and gathers me into his arms. I face plant into his chest as sobs wrack my body. “Shh.
It’s okay, dove. I’m right here baby. What happened?”

“Ni…night…” I try to get it out but the words won’t form. “Oh, God, Breccan!” I sob into his chest,
clutching onto his arms, thankful he’s alive and that the very real images my mind conjured up was only a nightmare.

Breccan holds me tighter and b
rushes the wisps of hair out of my face, then rubs my back up and down all the while repeatedly murmuring to me, “It’s okay, dove. I’m here. Shh.”

After some time I finally get myself together
with numerous broken breaths. I’m sitting in Breccan’s lap on the bed and I slowly pull my head out of his chest and look around the room trying to figure out where we are and what is going on.

Last night and the past few weeks come back to me in a flash. Everything flows through my body like soft waves. I take a deep breath and relax into Breccan. I realize the pain and aches I’ve had the last few weeks are missing and I know it’s because my Adonis is here.

I suddenly feel embarrassed for my crying jag, though I don’t know why. But I’m compelled to mutter, “I’m sorry,” as I wipe my eyes.

Breccan’s fingers lift my chin up and I look into his beautiful eyes, feeling even more apologetic. His dark blonde hair is falling around his face and stubble covers his
chiseled jaw. He’s so gorgeous and here I am with red, puffy eyes wondering what on earth this man is doing with me.

“Don’t,” he whispers softly, leans forward and gently presses his lips to mine and trails them up my cheeks brushing my tears away as he goes. “Don’t ever be sorry for letting me comfort you.” His eyes look back into mine. “Never. Okay?”

I nod my head, sniffle a bit and say, “Okay.”

“Good.” He rests his forehead against mine then moves the lower half of his head to press his lips to mine. “Now, let’s get some breakfast in you.”

I nod my head and he picks me up, sets me on the floor next to the bed, grabs his shirt from last night and slips it up my arms and over my shoulders. He fastens two buttons at my chest, smiling a secret smile at me, then leads me out into the main part of the suite.

There is a large breakfast tray set up on the table next to the kitchen. Breccan leads me there
, pulls out my chair and I sit down. He pulls out the seat next to me and sits, rather than the one across from me.

“Go ahead and eat,” he orders softly and picks up the cloche from my plate. There are blueberry pancakes, eggs and bacon. I purse my lips off to the side and slide my eyes over to him to see his mouth curved up in a sexy grin and his brows raised as if in a challenge. “Eat.
You are too thin and I know you like bacon. Quit being self-conscious.”
Damn the man
. I smile, shake my head and dig in.

After breakfast, Breccan leads me out to the balcony with our coffee and sits us down in a lounger; him behind me. I lean into him and enjoy the view.

“Want to tell me what the dream was about,” he breaks the silence.

“Not really,” I answer, take a deep intake of breath and say, “It was just a nightmare. Not a memory.”

“Then maybe you can tell me?” His hands travel up my arms and slowly rub my shoulders reassuringly.

“My past colliding with my present,” I answer cryptically.

I don’t know why. If I want a future with him- and I do- I need to know if he can stand the thought of someone like me sharing a bed with him.

“Elaborate, please?” His voice is still gentle and soft but I detect an edge of impatience.

I turn in the lounger and look at him. I stare deep into those mesmerizing cerulean blue and caring eyes, hoping that he can truly accept me and that everything he has said is the truth. I hope nothing can change the way he feels about me, because I’m about to test it...

I stare at him so long, stuck in a trance memorizing his face, just in case this is the last opportunity I have to do so.

“Harper,” his soft, deep voice snaps me back to the present.

I lean forward and press my lips to his… one last kiss… one last taste… just in case.

He responds immediately, greeting my tongue with his. I press into him and he sets his and my coffee down without moving his lips from mine and deepens the kiss further. My hands go into his hair pulling, wanting him to be closer to me. 

Before things get too far, I pull and scoot away from him. After I get my breathing back under control from the kiss I look into his eyes.

“I want you. I want this,” I gesture with my hand between us. “You and me. Whatever it takes,” I say emphatically.

“I’m so glad to hear you say that
,” he smiles at me and takes my hand in his and brings it to his lips.

“I have to tell you this
,” I take a breath to slow my racing heart and stare deep into his eyes. “And, maybe, if you can accept it, we can move forward.”

He drops my hand from his mouth, but continues to hold it.

“Okay…” he says softly.

“After I tell you this, you can end it. If you want.” He begins to interrupt me but I keep talking before he can, “After that, if you decide,” I draw another deep breath “by some miracle, to stay with me... you can’t leave me. You just can’t. If I let you in, you’re in and I need to know that.” Hot tears well in my eyes as I look at the only man I have and ever will love.

“Okay, dove. I promise. Tell me.” He pulls our entwined hands to his chest.

I pull my hand from his and just say it before I lose the courage. “I was a prostitute.” I watch his eyes go wide, his lips part with an intake of breath and then I matter of factly add, “For four years.”

The silence is so deafening. I feel utterly defeated. How stupid was I? He had no idea what he was getting into and he can’t accept this from someone he thought he would share his future with. I understand. Honestly, I do. Who would want
that girl
?

Broken...

Dirty… tainted.

I let out a strained and broken sigh and stand up without looking at him. I can’t face how I have ruined this amazing man. I make my way back into the suite to get my things and walk out of Breccan Caldwell’s life for good.

I’m stopped by a sudden yank on my arm and I turn to see Breccan staring up at me. I can’t look directly into those eyes and know that I have destroyed him. Again. I respond without eye contact.

“
It’s okay, Brecc. You don’t have to say anything. I understand,” I say softly and loosen my wrist out of his grip, discarding his hand.

I keep walking and make it into the bedroom before the tears spill from my eyes falling onto my cheeks. I see my bag in the corner of the room that Avery and Brynn had left for me the night before.

It finally dawns on me that they set this whole thing up with Breccan. Wanting me to have my happy ever after, with the man of my dreams. I’m glad they gave me this one last shot with him. I had to know, that I didn’t just give up and quit. I can’t blame Breccan for not wanting me. A part of me wishes I could be mad at him, but I can’t... I knew this would happen and I’m grateful that I got this one last night.

I pull underwear and a bra out of my bag and slip them on. I try to dress quickly in my jean skirt. As I’m reaching for a shirt in the bag, a steel band wraps around my middle.

Breccan’s face falls into my neck from behind me and my breath hitches as my heart skips. Hope blossoms inside me; unable to be tamped down. Relief washes through me, causing butterflies to beat against my stomach and warmth to pool in my center.

“Dove,
” his voice breaks on the word and I melt into him. I let out a heavy breath of satisfaction at the devotion in his voice. We are both utterly still until I turn my head to rest it against his, that is nuzzling my neck. “Talk to me, dove. Tell me about it.”

“I…” I trail off not sure how to continue this.

Breccan scoops me up and deposits me on the bed before joining me, stretching out beside me and propping his head up on his hand, elbow in the mattress. I lay there and stare into his eyes as he looks down at me.

“Did it have to do with your foster father and what he did?”
he asks gently, concern and trepidation evident on his face.

“How did-”

He cuts me off, “I wasn’t asleep, dove. I heard,” his voice remains gentle and tender.

I close my eyes slowly, partially in mortification and partially with relief. At least I don’t have to explain that.

“Yes,” I croak out, my voice thick and scratchy with emotion. “It went on for five years and then I ran away.” I take a deep breath and open my eyes to look at him. He nods his head, encouraging me to go on. “I was on the streets for a while before Stevie took me in. I thought he was just being nice, offering me a place to stay. I didn’t know…” My voice trails off and I look for the strength to begin again.

Breccan waits patiently, slowly running his fingers through my hair and down my side; softly tracing patterns on the bare skin of my torso making conflicting feelings rage through my body.

Another deep breath, “I didn’t know until it was too late. Then I didn’t know how to get out of it. Until… Nikko…” I stop and close my eyes again.

The images from that night assaulting my brain and emotions, making Breccan’s touch a distant memory. I feel tears pool behind my closed lids and slip out the sides.

“Can you tell me about when Nikko found you? What happened?” Still gentle and tender.

I open my eyes and look down. “I’m not ready for that,” I whisper.

Breccan places his fingers under my chin to lift my head up to look at him. “That’s okay, dove. When you’re ready. I just think you should talk about it.”

I look up into his eyes to see only pain. “Do you think I’m disgusting?” I blurt out and pull my lips back and bite them to keep myself from voicing anymore fears for a while.

Breccan’s head jerks back like I slapped him. “What?” His brows furrow in confusion. “Fuck.” He shakes his head while keeping his eyes locked on mine. “Of course not, Harper. I told you nothing will change the way I feel about you and I meant it. What you did… you did to survive. You were forced into circumstances that were beyond your control and came out the other side. You are still the sexiest woman I’ve ever met.”

He lowers his lips to mine and presses lightly. “You have the kindest heart.” His lips trail to my jaw. “The most amazing body.” He nibbles on my ear and my heart and breathing rates speed up. “The most amazing hair.” I hear him inhale. “The sweetest pussy I’ve ever had.” His hand trails down and unbuttons my jean skirt and dives down, down until his fingers brush my wet center and my breath hitches and lets out on a moan. His lips trail to my neck; down and back up to my ear where he softly murmurs, “
Harper, let me have you. Let me have all of you.” His fingers move back and he slowly inserts one and then two into my hot core.

I turn my face into his chest and nod minutely. His tongue trails down my neck and back up. His fingers go back to my clit, applying gentle pressure until I’m on the edge then he moves his hand back down to my core and plunges in…once… twice…