Awakening (4 page)

The next afternoon, after packing the Explorer full of all the food you can imagine, and then stuffing our suitcases in as well, we all climbed in and headed out of town. Eva and Anne Marie sat in the back talking quietly while I kept my eyes on the passing landscape. Once we were on the highway we started driving over huge marshy areas that seemed to stretch so far back that they met the sky. We crossed several rivers, and I could see the shrimp boats returning from their early morning routes. I wondered what it would have been like to be raised in a small town and to have spent my summers in the fields or shrimping and crabbing for a living. I was suddenly glad that my mother had decided to leave country life behind and move to the city. Although, something about the slower pace of small town life was appealing to me.

My mother was quiet as we drove, as if she were contemplating what we'd find at my grandmother's house. She still had that worried look on her face and I wondered if it would ever leave. She had been really solemn for the last two days and she had hardly said anything to me. I looked at her from the passenger seat
, trying to read what I saw on her face. Her eyes seemed distant, like she was caught up in some sort of memory, and I found myself wondering what she was thinking.

“What is it?” I asked.

She looked startled when I spoke, as if she had forgotten that anyone else was near and I almost regretted asking, until she answered.

“I was just thinking about growing up. My father, as you know, died when I was very young. I lived with my mother and sister, your Aunt Jillian.
"

My aunt Jillian had died of Leukemia when my mother was almost nineteen. According to my mother, Jillian had been out at the mall with her best friend trying on dresses for a wedding. Her friend had noticed bruises on Jillian's body and questioned her about it. Jillian had already had blood work done, but hadn't gotten the results back yet. After a few more days passed, she got the call that she needed to come into the hospital to start Chemo. From what my mother had told me, Jillian checked in around the beginning of November and died in early December. It was incredibly unexpected, and my mother was devastated. I had experienced exactly that on the day Mark died. Devastation.

I leaned back against the seat and focused on my mother as she began telling me more about her childhood.

“When we were kids, mother used to make us do so many chores in a day that we would come in at dark and were so tired that we couldn’t even eat, not that she cooked. We were skin and bones and our hands would be bloody and calloused from all the blisters that had come and gone over the years. One night, Jillian and I were out near the property line repairing the fence. She told me that she had to get away. That she knew my mother was up to something. I pleaded with her not to leave me behind, but she told me that she would find a safe place for us and come back to get me. We had been warned that the world outside was dangerous and that people would want to hurt us, that we were safer inside the fence line. My mother was furious that Jillian had left and punished me for weeks by locking me in the attic with little food."

"Oh Mom! That sounds awful," I gasped.

"Yes, it was. I don't like to talk about it."

She paused for a moment and I was worried she wasn't going to continue with the story. I was holding my breath when she began again.

"Mother never officially looked for Jillian, I don't think she wanted to get anyone else involved for fear that they would discover whatever it was that she was up to. As the months passed by, I started to think that Jillian would never come back. Then, one summer night, almost two years after she had left, the door opened and there she stood.  I could tell that she was doing well. Her skin had color and her hands were healed. She had gained some weight and her blonde hair sparkled in the fading sunlight. She looked really good. I was overjoyed to see her. The whole time we were children we had no friends except each other. No one came onto the property and we never left.”

My mother smiled wistfully as she stared at the road ahead of us
, remembering the sister she had loved.

“Apparently Jillian had found shelter and worked as a waitress for a while, she told me that she’d met a guy. His name was Jack, and he was very handsome and smart and she was going to marry him. When Jillian told me that, I started to cry, but she wiped away my tears and told me that I was going to live with them and that I would be so much happier. I couldn’t believe my ears, but at the same time, I knew that mother was going to have a lot to say about that.

“I was right too, she screamed at us first, and said that we were worthless and didn’t deserve to be alive. Jillian fought with her. They kept yelling at each other about what was best for me. Something I still don't understand to this day. All I knew was my mother had ruined our lives. Jillian told her that she knew the world was a better place than what we had experienced so far and that she was taking me away. Mother was so mad that she hit Jillian and knocked her out. Then she dragged me by my hair to my bedroom and locked me in. I had been so worried about Jillian that all I could do was sit and cry. I must have cried myself to sleep, because the next thing I remember, there was a tapping noise at my window and someone was calling my name. That was the best sound I think I’ve ever heard.

“It was Jillian, she was outside my window throwing stones at it and calling to me ‘Allison, wake up!’ I remember being so excited and relieved that she was okay. I opened the window and crawled out. I guess it was about ten feet to the ground, so I held on to the window ledge and dangled my body. I probably had less than five feet to fall at that point, so I held my breath and let go. When I landed, I was surprisingly fine. Jillian and I stood there for a moment in each other's arms just happy that we were both okay.

“The night was so dark, and I thought that there was no way out of that place, but with Jillian at my side we started walking toward the front gate, which was about a mile from the house. At some point during my escape we must have woken my mother because the lights started coming on in the house. We could hear her swearing and screaming and we started to run. Jillian told me that Jack was waiting outside the gates in his car and if we could just make it that far we’d be safe. I had known that there was something strange about my mother, but until that night I had no idea what she was capable of.

“As we were running, I heard something behind us. I looked over my shoulder and it was like my mother was hovering just above the ground; floating towards us on a cloud of smoke. She was gaining on us. At that moment I was scared for my life. Jillian and I started to run faster. There was so much adrenaline flowing through my system that I could probably have run a marathon. Mother was almost upon us as we reached the gate. I slipped through, but I felt Jillian lag behind. I turned and saw that she had tripped over a root. I screamed for her to get up, mother was so close to her. Jillian stood up, but her ankle was injured in the fall. She was so close, maybe three steps, but just as she reached the gate my mother grabbed her by the shoulder and Jillian started screaming. I reached back through the gate and took Jillian’s hand. I pulled with all the strength I had. I remember looking into my mother's eyes, but they weren’t hers. They were black as night.

“With one last attempt to save Jillian, I pulled with all my might. To my amazement she came with me, and we landed in a heap outside the gates. Jack was there and when he turned on his headlights we realized we were safe and we started crying hysterically and then laughing. With Jack’s help, Jillian and I got to our feet. We turned and looked toward the house. My mother was still there, behind the gates. Jillian and I stood there and looked at her for what seemed like forever, and then we climbed into Jack’s car and drove off, without ever looking back."

I sat there quietly listening to a story more unbelievable than anything I had ever heard in my life.

“Wow. You really had it rough.” I said.

“Welllll
... I'm just kidding!" She laughed.

"What? Oh my gosh Mom! You know I was totally freaking out!" I let out a huge sigh of relief. "
Is any of that true?"

"
None of that spooky stuff is true. My mother wasn't a good mother by any means, but she didn't starve us or lock me in my room. Jillian did leave, but it was to go to college, and when she came back it was to take me with her after I finished high school. I know you've heard the house is haunted, but there's nothing scary about it. It's just old stories. "

I tried to react, but couldn't find the words. Instead I asked another question.

"Did you say that Jillian's boyfriend was named Jack?"

"Yes, your father."

"How is that possible?"

“Well,
we all lived together you know, and after Jillian died and we buried her your dad was distraught, and emotionally drained. I was too. They were very serious about each other, and we spent time consoling each other, formed a relationship of sorts and ended up falling in love. It was a rough time for both of us, and we felt terrible about it for a while, but your father was there and we were both alive, and knew we had to move forward. It's what Jillian would have wanted. She may not have expected that we'd move forward together, but I knew she would want us to be happy."

“
I thought you met Dad at a party?

"Well, technically I did. I had been to visit Jillian once while she was at school, and I met your dad then."

I rolled my eyes at her.

"So, after you two started a relationship what happened
?” I pressed.

“We were married very young. Your father finished school and went to work at the company for his father. I got a job as a waitress and managed to save enough money to go to college. After I became a teacher we found out we were expecting you
, so we bought our house. Then your brother came along and the rest is history."

“Why did you decide to tell me
all this now?”

“Because I thought that it was time for you to know. We are going to be spending a lot of time out there in that house. God knows what we'll find when we get there. I knew you would have
a lot of questions.”

"Okay, but why the joke?"

"I overheard Anne Marie trying to convince Eva that the house is haunted. I wanted to give them a little scare." She looked in the rearview mirror and smiled at my friends. "Plus, you need to lighten up a little."

"Mother..."

"No, I don't want to hear your excuses. I know Mark's death was a huge burden for you so young, and feeling deserted by Luke didn't help. I just want you to feel free to move on with your life. It's what Mark would have wanted for you. It's been two years, Caroline, and I know you still sleep with that ring on. I just don't think you're coping well, and I really think you need to open yourself up to living, and finding love again. Maybe a week in the low country will help you rediscover some of the person you were before."

I really didn't have anything to say. She thought I was still clinging to Mark's memor
y, and maybe I was. I knew in my mind that he wasn't coming back, but every time I had that dream he felt so real, like I could reach out and touch him. It felt like he was still taking up space in my heart, and I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to let him go completely, which meant there might not ever be room for someone else.

I took a look in the backseat
at Anne Marie and Eva. They were both sitting there smiling and nodding their heads. Apparently they agreed with my mother. It was going to be a very long week.

~~~~

When the vehicle came to a stop I opened my eyes and looked up at the wrought iron gates. They were large and imposing, their years of neglect showing through the mass of kudzu that had started to overtake their shape. Mother and I got out of the car and walked up to them. She held aside some of the foliage so we could look through. From the entrance I could barely make out the chimney of the old house that I knew wasn’t far from where we stood. Anne Marie and Eva hung back by the car, not wanting to intrude on my mother’s grief. After a few heavy sighs she looked at me and said, “Well, it’s now or never.”

Trying to be strong for her
, I grabbed a hold of the gate and pushed. After some straining and groaning the gates moved aside with a loud and ear piercing creak, as if they hadn’t been moved for some time. We stood there for a moment waiting for the dust to settle, waiting for something to happen. After a moment my mother said, “Alright, let’s go.”

The ride to the house seemed to take forever. I looked deep into woods that lined the sid
e of the road. They were silent and still like no creature had ever set foot in them. As soon as the thought popped into my head I swear I saw something move.

I looked forward just in time to see the house come into view. It was enormous
and just like I remembered, aside from the obvious neglect. The bricks were worn away in places, and some of the shutters hung at an angle, their hinges having rotted and fallen away years ago. Weeds had taken over the yard and the fountain in the front of the house, and had started to wind their way up and around the big white columns in the front. The window panes were all in good shape though, and appeared to be clean and new. As I looked at the house, I saw that the roof sloped up, but was flat on top, and I noticed there was a railing running around it.