Awakening (7 page)

"
I know none of you had seen Mark since he graduated from high school, but Luke could have been his twin. And it wasn't just that. I have always felt drawn to Luke. Over the years, feeling his disdain for me, I found it easy to pretend I had never cared about him. But, when he was standing there, smiling at me, apologizing, and telling me that he never stopped thinking about me, so many of those feelings came rushing back. I have felt numb for such a long time and all these intense emotions are overwhelming me all at once. I can't explain it. It's as if the universe has some wicked plan for me. It gives me Luke, who breaks my heart. Then it gives me Mark and takes him away, leaving me feeling empty, guilty, heartbroken and cold. Now the first guy I'm inexplicably drawn to is Luke, who has a history of making me feel like crap and deserting me, but is the only other guy I have ever loved! And did I mention they are brothers? How is that fair?"

"You feel drawn to him? Like you want to jump his bones?"

"Anne Marie, nobody says 'jump his bones' anymore.... And it sounds more like she's just interested in one bone in particular!" Eva laughed and I gave her a half hearted smile.

"Caroline, honey,
Luke was your first crush. You were so heartbroken at the end of every summer, when we had to leave, that you cried for days, and then later when you felt rejected by him you turned to Mark, trying to forget everything you knew about Luke. You've been dwelling on the loss of Mark for too long, feeling guilty over something that was out of your control. Your emotions are all over the place, and it makes sense that you would be upset by bumping into Luke again. But, instead of trying to suppress your feelings, you need to talk to him. He lost Mark too. How many times did you reach out to console him? None if I remember correctly." She said, eyeballing me. "Maybe he has a good reason for acting the way he has over the years. Besides, don't you remember how he was there for you that day in the hospital? That's not how someone who doesn't care about you would act."

"What are you talking about?" I asked her.

She looked at me before continuing.

"After the, um.
.. After... Well, you couldn't be consoled. You were in shock. Luke pulled you into his lap, holding you close, consoling you and crying with you until you fell asleep in his lap. You don't remember any of that?"

I thought back, and all I remembered was waking up on a bench in the waiting room.

"Maybe if you share your happy memories of Mark with Luke, and focus on those instead of dwelling on your sadness, you can help each other heal. Mark wouldn't want you to hold on to him so tightly. He'd want you to go and live your life," my mother added.

I looked at her and realized that maybe there was something to what she was saying.

For the rest of the day my mother, Eva and Anne Marie spent time upstairs cleaning out closets and digging through old boxes while Nick and his crew measured, x-rayed, poked and prodded. I tried to help the girls, but I was so distracted they banned me from the house. I decided to sit out back on the bench overlooking the river.

Mark would have wanted me to mo
ve on, that I'm sure of. But why did I still dream about him all the time? It seemed my subconscious was trying to give me a message but I wasn't receiving it.

And Luke.
If I could find the Luke I used to know somewhere in there, maybe we
could
help each other move forward and heal. But the only way to know for sure was to spend more time with him.

Later that evening, before Nick left for the day
, I overheard him tell my mother that the house was fairly sound. There were some foundational issues that could be repaired and some rotten wood that would need to be replaced, but it wasn't anything they couldn't handle. He would be meeting with his partner that night over dinner, and they would come back in the morning with a plan to move forward.

My mother was relieved that the house was in such good shape. She had feared that the whole thing would have to be torn down, but now that she knew it could be repaired, it seemed as if we would be able to sell it and move on.

After dinner I was so emotionally drained that I went to bed. I was asleep before my head hit the pillow and didn't even hear Tomcat come out from under the bed and snuggle up next to me. 

I am looking at the front door of the house again. The swing is there, but it hangs empty. Suddenly the door opens. When I step onto the back deck, he isn't there, but young Luke is on the dock fishing with his back to me.

"Hey, you want me to
show you how to fish?" I walk over to him and when he turns around he's a grown man. "I've been waiting for you," he says softly.

I try to back away from him, looking around for Mark.

"There's no one else here, it's just me," he says.

I look back towards the deck but there is no one else.
When I look for Luke again he's gone.

I woke up frustrated and pulled Mark's ring from my finger, throwing it back in the box. Why didn't he come anymore all of a sudden? And what the heck was Luke doing there? I laid back on my pillow staring at the ceiling in the dark, when I heard something in the hallway.

It sounded like the creak of the floorboards. I looked across the room to see Anne Marie and Eva were still asleep. Then I heard the noise again and Tomcat jumped up from his spot next to me and raced under the bed. The hair on the back of my neck was standing on end as I watched the doorway, waiting to see if someone was there.

When I didn't hear anything else for a few minutes, I crept out of the bed and walked quietly towards the door. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard before
opening them and stepping out into the empty hallway. I blew out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. As I inhaled, I thought I smelled the lingering scent of cigarettes, but dismissed it and tried to calm my racing heart as I climbed back into my bed.

~~~~

When I walked into the kitchen later that morning, Eva and Nick were sitting at the breakfast table with their heads a little too close together. Eva giggled about something and touched Nick on the arm. I cleared my throat as I opened the refrigerator, and Eva looked up and me and blushed.

"Morning you two," I sang
, as I grabbed a glass and poured some orange juice.

"Good morning, Miss Caroline," said Nick, and Eva smiled at me.

The doorbell rang just then, so I put down my glass and went to answer it. Luke was standing there, smelling freshly showered and looking like a god. My knees felt weak just being near him.

The universe hates me.

"Luke," I said, a little surprised. I looked from his green eyes to his mouth and let my eyes slowly take in his perfectly formed body. His broad shoulders stretched the material of his white Henley taught so I could see how well defined his upper body was. He hadn't changed much in the last couple years. If anything, he was better looking than I remembered. I swallowed hard and then noticed an almost imperceptible smile had crept over his lips.

"
See something you like, Savannah?" He asked, leaning against the door frame with one shoulder and crossing his arms. His eyes travelled the length of my body, leaving a glorious tingling in their wake.

He hadn't called me Savannah in as long as I could remember. It sent a little jolt straight to my heart.

"Could I interest you in dinner later?" He asked.

He had opened
a door and all I had to do was walk through. It could be the first step in the healing process.

"You came over at 9 in the morning to ask me if I wanted to go to dinner?"

"Well, do you?" He leaned closer to me and I felt drawn in by his presence.

"
What are you doing Luke? You have barely spoken to me in the last seven or so years, and now you're asking me to dinner?"

"How about drinks then, your friends could come too, and I'll bring a friend."

Way to avoid the question Luke.

Drinks with friends
. That was acceptable. I was probably going to need a few drinks and the distraction of my friends to keep me sane around him.

"Wait, how did you know my friends were here?" I asked.

"A little birdie told me," he smiled slyly.

"Tonight
then?" I said, before I could change my mind.

"Well, I will have to check my calendar, but I think I'm free," he smiled
, and my heart fluttered, as Nick walked up behind me.

"LJ! 'Bout time you showed up!" Nick and Luke shook hands, clapping each other on the shoulder.

"LJ?" I asked, looking from Luke to Nick.

"Yeah, Miss Caroline, this is Luke Johnson, my partner. He's here to talk with your mother about the restoration," Nick said. "I think I saw her out back. Let me go get her."

As Nick walked back toward the kitchen all I could do was stare at Luke.

"Did you know you were going to be working here when I saw you yesterday?" I asked.

"Well, I knew Nick was working over here, but until I saw him for dinner last night, I wasn't sure if I'd be on the job too," he smiled as my mother walked into the foyer with Nick.

"Oh my word!" She exclaimed
, dropping the documents she was carrying, clapping a hand over her mouth and taking two steps back, astonished by what she was seeing.

"Mom,
you remember Luke Johnson. He's Nick's partner."

After my mother regained her composure she walked over to Luke.

"Forgive me Luke, you just look so much like Mark. I didn't mean to react that way. I guess I should have known which Johnson it was when I called your company, but I really just didn't put two and two together until this moment."

"No problem, Mrs. Foster, it's understandable."

"Please, call me Allison," she said with a smile.

I looked from Luke to my mother and then at Eva and Anne Marie who had wandered into the foyer and were staring ridiculously. I turn
ed back to Luke.

"Do you think we could talk before you leave this afternoon?" I asked him.

"If that's what you want." He kissed me on the forehead, searing my skin. "Now, I better get to fixing up the house for your mother, or she'll fire me before I even get started. Always a pleasure."

As he walked toward the kitchen I couldn't help but notice the way his jeans clung to his backside as he moved. I inhaled a big breath and blew it out.

Damn universe!

~~~~

Anne Marie, Eva and I spent the late morning and early afternoon cleaning out more of the upstairs bedrooms. There were five of them, and not one had any less than a jammed packed closet. Every dresser was filled with magazines, trinkets, odds and ends. There was enough stuff to keep us here for several weeks if we let it. As I pulled the last box out of the closet in the room we were currently working on, Anne Marie and Eva cornered me about Luke.

"You were totally right Caroline. Even though I hadn't seen Mark in years, I can totally see the
how much they look alike. Is it weird for you?" Anne Marie asked.

"I don't know, Anne Marie, I kinda think she likes him," said Eva, challenging me to deny it.

"Look, he's Mark's brother, and even though I'll admit that I have always been attracted to him, after everything... I just don't know how to feel."

"
If you keep telling yourself that you feel nothing for Luke then you're going to let a fine looking man walk away. I admit, I only knew Mark when he was young, but Luke, he is gorgeous! You should go for it!" Exclaimed Eva, beaming at me.

"Eva, don't you think it would be a little strange for her to
date Mark's brother?" Asked Anne Marie.

"And we don't even know
for sure if he's interested in me that way anymore either. Hell, I'm not even sure I'm interested in
him
that way anymore," I added.

"Puh-lease!
I saw the way you two were looking at each other this morning. You couldn't take your eyes off him and he could have eaten you alive. If there's one thing I can pinpoint with exact certainty, it's when a man wants a woman. So trust me, he wants to get to know you better, I promise," Eva said dramatically.

"Oh my gosh! What're you going to wear?" Anne Marie asked excitedly. I honestly hadn't even thought about it, and I certainly didn't pack anything nice, considering what we were supposed to be coming out here for.

"I don't think I have anything halfway decent. What about you guys?" I looked at them both shaking their heads.

"I saw a little boutique on the way out here. Should we borrow the car?" Eva asked, raising an eyebrow.

I thought it over for a minute. I hadn't been out in ages, and although I was thinking that it really didn't matter what I wore because nothing was going to happen between Luke and me, it would still be nice to dress up and feel good about myself for a change. I had spent most of the last two years wearing suits to work and hanging out with my parents on the weekends. My wardrobe was lacking for it. Not, that I had brought any options with me anyway.

"Let's do it!" I agreed.

~~~~

I exited the dressing room of
Mimi's Boutique
wearing a sleeveless button up blouse with a floral design on it, tucked into a flowy white skirt.

"Okay, what do you guys think?"

Anne Marie and Eva poked their heads out of the dressing room and gave me a simultaneous 'no'.

"Really, that bad huh?" I asked, twirling in the mirror.

Eva emerged from her dressing room in a low cut cream colored wrap sweater that was almost the same color as her skin. It was short sleeved, showing off her toned arms and hugged her just right, enhancing her modest cleavage. The smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose and her sweeping red curls were accented by the pair of slim fitting red Capri pants she had chosen. She had paired her outfit with some cute black wedge sandals and dangly silver chandelier earrings.

"We are going out with
at least two gorgeous men, since Nick said he's coming. There may be others. Do you really want to look like a school teacher?" Eva asked.

"Hey, my mom's a school teacher," I retorted.

"My point exactly," Eva said, daring me to try something more sexy.

Anne Marie chose that moment to come out from behind her dressing room curtain. Eva and I stood staring at her with our mouths open.

"Well, what do y'all say? Yes or no?" She asked, turning in a circle.

I surveyed her sleeveless v-neck emerald green silk top, which perfectly matched her eyes. Her long dark hair was pulled up into to a high pony tail revealing incredible cheek bones and she had brushed some nude lip gloss over her full lips. Her top was tucked into a black skirt that stopped a couple of inches below her butt, showing of her long and slender legs. The rose vine tattoo on her ankle delved into the black peep toe pumps she had chosen, and the anthracite bangles around her wrist gave her just a bit of sparkle.

"Dang, Anne Marie, where do you think we're going? Clubbing?" Asked Eva.

"Too much? Okay, let me get my second choice!" She dipped back behind the curtain.

Eva walked out into the store, weaving between the racks. She would pull something out,  pause for a moment and look up at me, and then shake her head and put it back. An impeccably dressed woman walked over to Eva and held out her hand to shake.

"Hi, I'm Mimi, the store owner, can I help you find something in particular?" 

"Wow, so nice to meet you," Eva answered, shaking Mimi's hand. "Your place is great!"

"Thank you!" Mimi beamed.

"My friend here is going out on her first date in several years, and I want to help her look her best."

Mimi looked me up and down as I rolled my eyes in Eva's direction.

"Just one minute," she said. "I think have the perfect thing. It just came in this morning." As Mimi disappeared into the back room, I squinted my eyes at Eva, throwing silent daggers.

A moment later, Mimi re-emerged with a dress in hand. It was a surplice, empire waist, sapphire blue
sun dress.  She also carried a pair of black, peep toe, sling back wedges with a cork heel.

"Try these on for size!" Mimi smiled, as she handed
them to me.

Once I had the dress and shoes on, I came out of the dressing room to see Eva and Anne Marie staring at me with the same open mouthed look that Eva and I had given Anne Marie before.

"That bad, huh?" I asked, feeling dejected.

"That good!" Anne Marie exclaimed, grabbing me by the shoulders and turning me around to face the three way mirror. "Look!"

A smile crept over my face as I examined my reflection. The dress, although not too revealing, fit incredibly well over my full chest, showing just the right amount of cleavage that I felt sexy but not uncomfortable. The empire seaming accented my tiny waist, which further enhanced my bosom. The length was shorter than I was used to, but my legs were toned and tan from all my runs, and I had always felt they were my best feature. I turned around, pulled my hair up and noticed the back of the dress, which was a deeper V than the front, and showed off my upper back.

"You definitely should wear your hair up," commented Mimi. "I think a loose bun would look incredible. And here, try this too." She handed me a silver necklace with a faux diamond pendant. I thanked her and fastened it around my neck. It hung perfectly between my upper cleavage, drawing my eyes there. "Perfect!" Mimi said.