Axel: A Bad Boy Romance (10 page)

Chapter Sixteen

“Why is this bin filled with dirty towels?” Axel demanded, his voice echoing through the gym.

Several people looked up at him with annoyed expressions on their faces. He had interrupted their routines. He shook his head furiously at the full bin as one of the trainers jogged up to him.

“These are supposed to be emptied every four hours whether they’re full or not,” Axel said to the trainer.

“It hasn’t been four hours since the last time we changed them,” the trainer said as he looked at Axel confused. “It’s only eleven o’clock. I don’t need to change it until twelve. The bin’s not even half full.”

“Well change it now,” Axel spit. “It looks disgusting. I don’t want this place to smell like old gym towels. I don’t want customers coming in here and seeing piles of disgusting, used towels just sitting around.” He slammed his hand onto the wall and stalked off leaving a confused employee in his wake.

He stalked down to the boxing gym and into his small office. He closed and locked the door and slumped down in his chair. He had handled that badly, very badly. He shouldn’t have done that. He should not have slept with her and certainly not in the gym. He had handled every part of this badly.

He shouldn’t have left her like that. He should have at least helped her dressed and walked her to the door. Instead he left her naked and alone on a massage bed in a strange place. He didn’t know why he felt this way. This was far from his first random hook-up. Girls at the bar, girls at the fights, even a girl he met on a plane once, all those times he had his fun and moved on, but not this time.

Should he call her, or text? But what would he say. He wasn’t going to date her. He could only offer her empty promises and false hopes. He put his head in his hands. She was different. That was the answer. Something about her was different. She wasn’t like Tiffany or the girl on the plane. She was realer somehow. Her feelings were real to him and he hated to think that he had made her sad.

He stood up and walked over to the heavy bag. He ignored everyone else. He didn’t put on gloves or tape up his knuckles. He stood in front of it and hit it firmly with his good hand. It swung on the chain and he hit it again and again. He kicked and punched at it as if it were the devil himself. It was his own face and body he was pummeling and he deserved every punch. His hands ached and then the harsh material of the bag scratched his knuckles raw and every punch came with an added sting.

***

He overslept the next day. Axel usually never needed an alarm. His body was a well-trained machine. But that Thursday he slept until almost ten o’clock. His phone was on silent and he missed ten calls from Hayden who was back in town. He ignored the texts and calls and bleary-eyed he rolled over onto his back and stared at the ceiling. His bed had never felt more comfortable.

It took all his strength to pull himself from it. He didn’t know why he was feeling so sluggish. Normally he jumped out of bed in the morning. He texted Hayden that he was running late. Running was the last thing he was doing. He shuffled to his coffee maker and made himself a pot of coffee and then drank it slowly standing over his kitchen sink.

He needed to train. He kept reminding himself of that fact over and over again. The fight was coming up. He had a lot of work to do. He would kick himself later for procrastinating like this. But his feet refused to move as his brain commanded. He was slow and sluggish. His coffee finished he walked back to his room and dressed in his gym clothes.

He walked down the block to the gym. The bright sun was burning his eyes. His head ached. He wanted to turn around and crawl back into bed. Who was this man? It certainly wasn’t Axel Connelly. Axel worked hard all day every day. He hadn’t become a champion by being whiny and lazy, so why couldn't he pull himself out of this?

***

“What is wrong with you?” Hayden demanded as Axel finally walked into the room. “Jamal said you were screaming at him about towels yesterday and now you’re over an hour late for your training? Are you sick or something?”

“No, I’m just a little out of it,” Axel said shaking his head. He certainly wasn’t going to tell Hayden about Marie. He knew the other man would lecture him about it and, even worse, he would be right. Axel’s head was a mess and it was all because of a girl.

“Well, let's get to work,” Hayden said leading the way down the stairs. Axel followed him, hoping the hard work would pull him from his dour mood. He sat down at the weight bench as Hayden piled ninety pounds onto the bar. Axel lay down and reached up, but his arms were weak. They folded under the weight and he strained to lift the bar off his chest. He barely finished with one rep before he needed a break.

It didn’t get better. The weights were heavy, his arms were weak, his mood was foul. Everything annoyed him. He lost two sparring matches in the ring and, what was worse, he didn’t really care. He barely had the energy to lift his feet off the ground, let alone raise his hands for a punch.

“All right enough,” Hayden said as Axel slumped in the corner of the ring. “I’m calling it.” Axel’s sparring partner gave him a look of disgust and then walked out of the ring leaving the two men alone. Axel could barely raise his head to look at the other man. “What is wrong with you?” Hayden demanded again.

Axel opened his mouth, but said nothing. He didn’t want to tell Hayden about Marie. It wasn’t something he wanted turned into idle gossip. Besides, he knew he would get a lecture from Hayden, a long one, and he wasn’t in the mood. He had fucked up and he knew it. He didn’t need to be reminded of it. He rested his head in his hands and said, “Maybe I’m coming down with something.”

“No, you aren’t. The last time you were sick you trained until you literally passed out on the mat. You’re not sick. You’re sulking. Why?”
Axel said nothing. His head felt stuffed with cotton, his limbs were tired. All of this over a woman. How had he let this happen? The biggest fight of his career so far was only a few weeks away and he was ruining his chances for a win. What was worse, he didn’t even know why. He didn’t know anything about Marie DeSantos; he had never spent time with her outside of his gym, so why was she so deep in his head? Why couldn’t he stop thinking about her?

“You’re not going to answer me?” Hayden demanded. “Since when do you not tell me things? Since when do we keep secrets from each other? We are a team. We’re in this together. Whatever is bothering you is bothering me, too, so why don’t you tell me what it is?”

“It’s just something personal,” Axel said. “Give me a day, I’ll get my head together.”

“A day! You think we have a day to waste right now? The fight is coming, Axel. They aren’t going to move the date just because you’re in a bad mood. That’s not how it works and you know it. You need to get ready for the fight. You need to get your head right. There’s a lot riding on this. You can’t hang me out to dry.”

“I’m not hanging you out to dry and I’ll be ready for the fight. I promise. I just need a day, or two, to work some things out.”

“Things you won’t tell me about?”

“It’s not like that. It’s not a big deal and I’m handling it.”

“We never used to keep secrets from each other. Or at least, I’ve never kept any from you. I thought that went both ways.”

Axel sighed. This was exactly what he had wanted to avoid. He stood up angrily and stormed out the ring. He didn’t need this. He was in charge. He was the boss. He was the one who went into the ring. He was the one who gave the punches and took the hits. He was in charge. Not Hayden.

“Where are you going?” Hayden demanded as Axel headed for the steps. “We’re not done here yet!”

“I’m getting some air,” Axel yelled back. He slammed the door to the boxing gym and stalked across the first floor. People gave him a wide berth, averting their eyes and moving aside as he walked. Without stopping he ripped open the door the gym and stood outside.

He had no idea what to do or where to go. He had never felt like this before. He had never had a problem he didn’t know how to solve. He was angry at how he had treated Marie. He regretted everything he had done, now the question was left to him: what should he do now?

Chapter Seventeen

Lights, tablecloths, name cards, outfits, decorations, more lights, the list of things needed for the fundraising dinner was endless. In the basement of the mansion Marie tore through boxes finding things other caretakers had left behind. She wanted the party to be affordable and she was trying to buy as little as possible.

Cate bounded around her as she pulled out another string of lights and added them to her bounty. She was throwing herself into her work. She was not going to waste another tear on Axel Connelly and, to her surprise, her strategy was working. Her energy had returned; her tears had stopped. She felt better and she was determined to keep her good mood going as long as she could.

“I want ice cream,” Cate said out of nowhere, which was pretty typical for a five-year-old.

“Mommy’s working sweetheart,” Marie said, half buried in a box of old Christmas decorations. With a huff Cate threw herself down on an old couch and Marie winced as she watched the dust bounce up and gather on her daughter. There would need to be a bath tonight.

“Hello, are you down there?” The sound of Ingrid’s voice echoed around the cement-lined basement.

“Yes!” Cate yelled jumping off the couch and running over to Ingrid and leaping into the older woman’s arms.

“Find anything good?” Ingrid asked as she surveyed Marie’s pile of treasures.

“Yeah, some good stuff. A lot of lights, which is one more thing we don’t have to buy,” Marie said wiping some sweat from her forehead as she stood up and stretched her back.

“Well, budget is a little less of a concern because, so far, we have sold an extra twenty-five tickets!” Ingrid said with a smile as she kissed Cate on the cheek. “If we keep this up we’ll have to start turning people away. Or maybe we can have more than one fundraiser a year.”

“One thing at a time. Let’s see how this party goes before we move on to the next one,” Marie countered.

She turned her attention to a box labeled “Party 1989” and pulled out a legion of hideous brown table clothes. “We really need to clean this basement out,” Marie said as she found a broken beta-max player in the box, as well.

“One thing at a time,” Ingrid answered. Then she turned to Cate was sitting in her arms and said, “Are you working really hard with your mommy?”

“Yes and I’m hungry,” Cate said flopping back dramatically in Ingrid’s arm.

“And what does this tiny, hungry worker want?”

“Ice cream!” Cate cried out.

“Let me buy this little handworker ice cream,” Ingrid said putting on a pout that matched Cate’s as they stared at Marie.

“All right, go ahead. I’m going to stay here and keep working.”

“Don’t work too hard,” Ingrid said as she and Cate headed upstairs. Marie stood alone in the center of the basement. Dust moats illuminated by bare light bulbs hanging from the ceiling flew in the air around her. She stretched her neck and got to work on a new box.

They had sold an extra twenty-five tickets; they might add a second benefit. There was a chance she might actually be good at this. She had been told how useless she was so many times and now someone was telling her something else. It felt amazing. It made all the hard work worth it. It helped her forget about her utter humiliation at the hands of Axel Connelly.

She wasn’t letting her little dalliance with Axel ruin everything she was building for herself. A few days had passed and a lot of the pain had passed in that time. She felt better, stronger, less afraid of what had happened. She understood now that a hookup wasn’t what she wanted, not now at least. She wanted a relationship; she wanted love and someone she could trust. She knew that now and that was all that mattered.

The sex had been amazing, though. She kept thinking about his hands on her and the way his lips and tongue had moved together. She was embarrassed to admit this even to herself, but in all of their time together, Austin had never given her an orgasm. He never ever tried. He told her women didn’t enjoy sex. To him, it was a fact of life and something he never questioned.

He had never touched her like Axel had. He had never prioritized her pleasure over his. He had never slipped his fingers inside of her. Sex with Austin had always just been uncomfortable. She thought it was just something she had to endure. She knew sex could be different. She had heard her friends rave about their encounters, but she never expected she would experience it. Now she had and she could admit she wanted more.

She wanted a real relationship with a man who would respect her and treat her well. She didn’t just want to have casual sex, but a real connection with someone and she wasn’t going to compromise. She knew she could have good sex and a good relationship; she just needed to find the right guy.

She hefted her box full of treasures and hauled them to the first floor and into the office. She drank a glass of water and glanced out the window. There was a hooded man standing under a tree outside. He was staring up at the mansion. She moved to try and see his face, but he must have spotted her, immediately moving away and walking down the street. She followed him with her eyes. Who was he? A curious passerby or someone else?

Had Austin sent someone to find her? Would she be easy to track? The only thing in her name was her car insurance and she knew it would be tricky for him to access that information. Her phone was a burner; she didn’t have a bank account.
America is a big country
, she reminded herself. As long as she kept her profile low, she might be able to hide forever.

Marie stretched out her arms. The soreness from her workouts was becoming a familiar feeling and she wondered if she would ever get strong enough to not hurt the next day. She had a training with Axel tomorrow morning and she was ready for it. She wasn’t going to ask for a new trainer; she was ready to face him. She wasn’t sad anymore, she wasn’t embarrassed, she could handle him.

Marie walked back through the empty mansion. A tour had just let out and now the place was silent and still. She liked it best like this, when it felt like hers. She strolled into the dining room and walked along the long table and the many high-backed chairs. It was such an elegant home. She couldn’t get enough of the art and the styling. Everything was beautiful with intricate details. It made the 1700s seem like a finer time and better than the one she was in now.

On a display on the sideboard was Edith Hawks’ engagement ring. It was a simple gold band with a small emerald set in the center. Marie looked down at her own bare left hand. Austin had never married her and she was glad of it now, but she had been resentful for a long time. She thought he would propose when she became pregnant with Cate, but he never did. He wasn’t ready to be married yet.
What’s the rush, we already have a kid?
He had a litany of excuses for his non-proposal.

She used to cry about it. Every time someone she knew got engaged and the announcement appeared on Facebook she would struggle to hold back tears. She had been stuck in a sort of purgatory. Austin wasn’t willing to let her go, but he wouldn’t marry her either. Now he was like a specter hanging over her. She had left him, but she still wasn’t free. He was in her head and now she was worried he was in the street.

She looked at Edith’s serious face in profile. That was a woman who had never cried over a man. She had never let herself be abused. Marie lifted the frame to get a better look at Edith’s face. It was heart-shaped and thin with a little button nose.
What would Edith do?
that was Marie’s new question whenever she had a problem. Edith Hawks had been a badass back in her day and now she could be Marie’s spirit animal, someone to remind Marie she was stronger than whatever problem she was facing.

The only thing left for Marie to do was to go back to the gym and learn how to fight. She had made great strides at the gym. She had learned to stand up for herself and she had her first casual hook-up ever. She was growing and changing and she wasn’t willing to stop. She was going back to Axel, but now it was only to work, nothing else. She was going to learn how to defend herself. She had a job and was paying the bills; she had a place to stay, now she needed to focus on learning how to kick ass. She wanted to be ready for Austin if he ever showed up here. She wasn’t the same little girl he was used to and if he ever found her, she was going to be ready.