Axel (Ride Series Book 3) (2 page)

“It’s true,” I nodded along with the lie Dwayne had become accustomed to dropping whenever one of the customers got overzealous.

“Too bad,” the man replied, his eyes sweeping over my frame that in no way moved me or made my heart pitter or patter.

I feared that patter had been permanently lost to a certain bearded biker I’d left back in Hawthorne over a year ago.

“Anything else?” I pressed, looking deliberately at their glasses and plates full of food.

“We’re good,” one of the other men nodded, allowing me to sweep off to my next table.

By the time my shift ended, I was exhausted as always. I gathered my things and headed out, waving to Dwayne and the cooks as I left.

The humid air of the Texan evening hit me like a wet blanket. After nearly a year in the south, I still wasn’t used to the humidity. It was even worse than my native New York, if that was possible.

Living in Texas was still so foreign to me. Everything was so big and overdone. But the people were kind and so friendly; it took months for me to realize it was genuine.

I stopped at my favorite taco stand to grab a quick bite. After nearly a year of working at an Italian restaurant, a girl could only eat so much pasta. I scarfed down my taco as I waited for my bus. I’d still never learned how to drive.

By the time I walked up to my apartment complex, I was dead on my feet. I worked damn hard to make ends meet.

I looked up at the complex I called home, and despite the slightly run down exterior, a familiar sense of pride warmed me, along with the oppressive heat. The place might not be the Upper East Side brownstone I’d grown up in, but it was mine.

I made my way up the exterior steps and down the short hall, skipping my apartment and knocking lightly on the one next door.

Familiar noises came from inside, making me smile.

Jill, my neighbor and only real friend, swung the door open looking slightly harried, but it was late; that was to be expected.

“Hi,” I smiled, stepping into her place, my eyes sweeping the room in search of Maddox. He was sitting up on a blanket with his best buddy, Mason, both chewing heartedly on teething rings, drool dribbling down their chubby cheeks.

My son. My life.

“Hi, buddy,” I grinned, kneeling in front of him. He was such a beautiful boy, every day I was struck by it. His complexion favored mine, slightly fair, but his hair was darker than my chestnut brown and was just starting to curl up as it came in. But it was his eyes that really set him apart. I never grew tired of looking into them. I had never known I could love the way I loved him.

“He did great today,” Jill shared as she moved around the room picking up toys. “Want to stay for a late dinner?” she offered.

I shook my head, scooping my boy up. “I ate on the way and I’m exhausted. This weekend?”

“Sure,” she agreed.

“Thanks, as always, you’re a godsend,” I said sincerely. Jill’s husband traveled almost constantly for work and she frequently babysat Mad and a few other kids for extra income. She’d been a nurse before having Mason, but with Tim traveling so much, she stayed home full time. She was affordable, and more importantly, I trusted her.

When Maddox was born, I’d barely known how to take care of myself, let alone a baby. But Mad and I were making it work. It certainly wasn’t how I’d planned for my life to go, but I didn’t regret it, not for a second.

After saying goodbye, I let us in to our one-bedroom apartment, setting his diaper bag down on the small kitchen table.

I put him down with his toys on the blanket in the small living room and moved to the kitchen to get his milk ready before bed.

I chatted to him about my day, our one-sided dialogue, easily filling the quiet room with my voice and his babbling and giggles. I talked to my son more than anyone else. It was a minor miracle I could still successfully hold a two-way, adult conversation.

He looked up at me grinning when I brought his milk over, and as happened more than once a day, I felt a pang in my chest at how much he reminded me of Sal when he smiled.

I missed my brother.

I missed Axel most of all.

In all these months trying to forget, it was his face and his voice I heard every night before bed.

My heart was a glutton for punishment.

Those grey eyes were burned into my memory with a tenacity time and distance could not erase. Despite every effort to forget, I’d never felt for any man the way I’d felt for him. It was terrifying and consuming.

Maddox gurgled, reminding me I was spacing out again, holding his milk. “Sorry, sweetie,” I murmured, scooping his chubby body up in my arms and moving to the couch to feed him.

I watched him drink, my hand stroking over his soft hair as his eyes began to droop. My own eyes wanted to follow, but I forced them open long enough to finish up and put my sweet boy to bed.

He’d just started sleeping through the night. How I’d gotten through those first few months of him waking every few hours or better yet, nights he didn’t sleep at all, I still didn’t know.

I showered and dressed for bed, climbing in under my covers. Maddox slept in a small alcove in the living room that was meant to be an office space. I’d tried having him sleep in my room, but that didn’t seem to work for either one of us. It wasn’t like I had a social life that our living situation disrupted.

I was lonely, desperately so, and at times, terrified of the future. But I was also a hell of a lot stronger than I’d ever realized. I was proud of the woman I was, of the mother I’d been from the moment the nurses placed Maddox in my arms asking where his daddy was.

Chapter 2

“H
ow about that guy from 3B?” Jill prodded as we sat on her couch, each with a glass of wine in hand. She was referring to our neighbor who’d asked me out repeatedly.

Both boys were crashed out in Mason’s room. This was the only way either of us got a ‘night out’ and we took advantage whenever possible.

I wrinkled my brow and shook my head. “No spark,” I sighed.

“You always say that.” She rolled her eyes heavenward. Jill was beautiful and exotic looking with her Native American ancestry. Her dark hair shone with a gorgeous gloss I often had to reach out and touch. She was seven years older than me, but I’d never even noticed the age difference.

“Well, it’s true,” I defended with a huff.

“Soph,” she sighed. “I know you don’t like to talk about your past and you know I won’t pry. But whatever it was – whatever it is, don’t you think it’s time to move on? You’re gorgeous. You look amazing and you just had a baby six months ago– you lucky bitch,” she snarked with a grin. “Go out, meet a hot man and let him take you to bed!” she coaxed.

I blushed and shook my head. My only experience with sex had started out amazing and ended with him freaking out with a capital F.

I thought back to that evening so often the binding of the book in my memory was well worn.

She rolled her eyes at me. “Fine,” she sighed, as she always did when the subject came up.

“Tim’s coming home soon,” I put in, trying to distract her by mentioning her husband. He’d been gone for three months and was due back the following week.

“Yeah,” she smiled, though it didn’t touch her eyes. She didn’t talk about Tim much and I’d never pried. God knows, I had my own secrets.

“I’m glad.” I squeezed her hand briefly. “I’m beat, time for bed,” I announced, rising to stretch. “I’ll go sneak in and grab Mad,” I said around a yawn.

“Thanks for hanging out,” she smiled.

“Anytime.” I grinned back with a wink. Jill was a true friend. It killed me that she could only know a piece of me, but I’d take what I could get.

I fell asleep that night thinking about that damned spark. I thought about how it was so fierce with Axel; it was almost a life force all its own. Maybe I’d just be alone forever since I couldn’t seem to settle for anything less.

*****

“Bella, your order’s up!” Dwayne called the next evening.

I rolled my eyes at the most southern man I’d ever known calling me ‘Bella’ but he’d done it from day one. We’d seriously discussed a name change for him over a bottle of Chianti one night, but had quickly moved on to discuss men, his favorite subject. The man was many things – someone who fit the name ‘Dwayne’ wasn’t one of them.

To me, Dwayne was a name for a cattle rancher or maybe a mechanic down on his luck. It certainly didn’t fit with my leopard print and sequin shirt-wearing friend whose hips swayed so dramatically when he walked, I was worried he’d end up with permanent damage.

The tips were great on weekends, and if I had to deal with prima donna Dwayne, then so be it. Truth be told, I sort of loved the guy. Though I’d never tell him that; he’d force that high-school musical movie marathon party on me, which he’d threatened me with from the moment we met. He promised it would be the best night of our lives. Unsurprisingly, I wasn’t convinced.

“Got it,” I answered, sweeping in to gather the steaming platters of eggplant parmesan and penne primavera.

When I turned to deliver the food, I nearly dropped it on the floor. Henry, the president of The Sinners, a motorcycle club who partnered often with the Knights, and his lady were sitting in front of a bottle of wine waiting for their food. I’d switched mid-shift with Betty and had no idea they were here until now.

“Shit,” I breathed. I didn’t think they’d seen me, but I spun on my heel nonetheless. “D, can you please deliver these to table 5,” I hissed with panic.

“Why, sugar?” he asked, looking over my shoulder in question.

“Please, they’re nice people. I just…I can’t see them. Please?” I asked again, unable to curb my clear desperation.

He looked at me with concern before nodding. “Sure thing, sugar plum,” he agreed, taking the platter from me and strutting his way to their table.

I hid out in the kitchen until Dwayne gave me the all-clear. He covered all my tables for that hour. I owed him a favor, which meant I’d likely be seeing a lot of Zac Efron in my future.

“Thanks,” I sighed, shoving off from the counter I sat on.

“No problem, honey.” He patted my leg and didn’t ask anything more.

Another week went by. Mad was cutting a tooth so I was exhausted when I walked in that evening to start my shift. I felt like a zombie with a notepad as I moved from table to table.

“Table 10’s a hottie!” Dwayne squealed with a wink. I gave him a small nod and with half a grin, headed in that direction.

“Can I take your order?” I asked, my eyes on my notepad.

“I’ll have the lasagna – and you,” the familiar voice answered.

My heart stopped. I gasped, my eyes wide, all exhaustion forgotten and replaced with adrenalin.

I looked up into familiar grey eyes and felt panic and lust all at once.

“Hi, Soph,” he greeted, his tone calm, though his eyes glittered with an unspoken emotion.

He looked amazing. His hair was shorter, the familiar curls gone but his beard remained. He looked bigger, more muscular but it was possible I’d forgotten how big he’d always been.

“H-hi,” I stammered. “What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here?” he growled incredulously. “What the hell are you doing here, Sophie?” he demanded.

My eyes darted nervously around the restaurant. “You should go.” My voice betrayed my worry.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he shook his head, his eyes sweeping my frame.

“Ax, seriously. I left for a reason. A good one. You should go,” I hissed.

“Can’t,” he shook his head.

My eyes narrowed. “What do you mean you can’t?”

He leaned forward in the booth, his hand reaching out to clasp my wrist. “I’ve spent over a year tormented over you, Sophie. We are going to talk. And I’m not leaving until we do.”

Oh, hell no. Just…no.

“Tormented over me?” I asked incredulously. “Since when? What?” I stammered, truly dumbfounded.

“That could be part of the talking portion.” he shrugged.

He said it so casually as though his hot and cold behavior had been no big deal. It pissed me right the hell off.

“You never could decide what you wanted from me. I’m not the same girl you knew.” I shook my head. “I don’t have time for this. I advise you to go straight back to Hawthorne,” I told him sternly, turning on my heel and rushing to the kitchen.

What was he even doing here? It had to have been Henry. I could have sworn he hadn’t seen me. My heart was pounding so hard; I was worried I’d need an ambulance at this rate. I collapsed on the ground next to the stove, panting for breath. Another shift hiding out in the kitchen, great way to keep a job.

When the door swung open, I winced as his motorcycle boots came into view. He heaved a sigh and crouched in front of me. “I knew this wouldn’t be easy.” His voice was gentle as he lifted my chin to force me to look in his eyes. “But, Soph, it’s not just me. Your brother, Kat, all of us miss you like hell. We’ve been searching for you, worried about you for over a year. You’re family. We’re going to talk,” he commanded, his beautiful eyes glittering with intensity.

I shook my head. “You should go.”

“Everything okay in here, sugar?” Dwayne’s high voice broke in.

I looked up at him in alarm. “Yes, fine. He was just leaving. Sorry, I’ll get back to work.”

Dwayne looked me over and met my eyes, cocking his head in question.

I nodded, letting him know I was really okay.

My eyes shifted back to Axel. “I have to get back,” I murmured.

“I’ll wait, drive you home after your shift,” he stated, rising and pulling me to my feet. His touch alone sent electricity zinging down my arm.

“No!” I practically shouted in alarm at the thought of him driving me home.

His eyes narrowed. “You have a man at home?”

Yes, a very small one, I thought frantically.

He eyed me keenly, our intensity blistering as it always did. Some things never did change. “Do you?” he demanded quietly.

“No,” I whispered.

“Good,” he whispered back, his voice hoarse as he took me in.

“But you’re not driving me home. It was good to see you, Ax. Tell everyone…” my voice caught, “tell them I miss them and hope they’re well.” I gave him the small smile I’d like to think I’d perfected. The one I could plaster on my face despite inner desolation threatening to swallow me whole. I’d had to wear it most of my life. I pushed my way out of the kitchen to see about my tables.