Beautiful Liar (4 page)

              Marley stood up and rose her hand after President Gabrielle asked our sorors if there were any announcements or closing remarks.

              Always looking painfully nervous whenever the chapter gave her their undivided attention, she fumbled with her fingers and swayed in her pleated brown dress before Gabrielle handed the mic to her. She looked at me, then shrugged her shoulders and flashed a slanted smile. I knew exactly what that exchange meant, my heart pounded with anxiety. Yet, I smiled sweetly with bright eyes, disguising the ranting that took place in my head.
She better not. If she mentions my situation, I’m gonna hurt her! If she wants to live to see tomorrow, she better not dare mention me. Don’t do it!  Do not do it!

              Marley cleared her throat, “Actually… Nola, may kill me for bringing this to your attention…”
You’re already dead
!

              Despite my icy glare and forced smile, she continued, “…but I couldn’t bear to hold it to myself. She’s an amazing woman to us. When a soror faces hardships, I don’t care if they say they have it under control, it’s our duty as a sisterhood to uplift one another. We must be a blessing to each other whether it’s through encouraging prayer or words, or through gifts of monetary value. It’s our duty to be there.”

              Some of our sorors were nodding in agreement, while some where sliding me facial expressions of confusion and concern. I sat stone still with the same phony smile, cringing on the inside as I prepared to redeem myself from looking like the charity case that Marley was about to make me into.

              She continued, “With that being said, I sadly announce that Nola’s condo caught fire last month. Although she was able to recover all of her belongings, she and her fiancé have no choice but to live in a hotel until they get something permanent.”

              Our sorors gasped, and I burned with aggravation. The ones at my table patted my hands and shoulders with empathy. Marley looked choked up with emotion as she gestured towards me.

              “She plays such a pivotal role within our chapter. She was so gracious enough to fund our retreat while she’s getting married next year. The least we could do is lift our soror up in prayer and bless her with an abundance of donations.”

              By this time, sorors began to stand and gather around my chair. The pity party had officially begun, and I wasn’t at all about to be the celebrated host. So I rose, walked towards Marley, snatched the mic with a smile of course, and shut it all down.

              “Sorors, please. The absolute worst thing you could do is send me donations.” It took me eight years to build my notable reputation within the chapter. I wasn’t about to have that transformed into “the soror in need,” especially for something that didn’t happen anyway. 

I continued, “Yes it’s been a crazy month for me, but believe me, it’s all taken care of and under control.”

I patted Marley’s shoulder. “Marley, sweetie, you can sit down now.”

              President Gabrielle, who completely disregarded my pitch, stood and took the floor.               “Sorors, Marley has made a great point. Let’s all organize donations and care packages for Soror Nola and her fiancé.” She turned to me, “Could you let the chapter know in which hotel you’re currently residing?”

              My mind scrambled. Part of me wanted to tell the truth and reveal that I’m pretty close to being broke, I had no job, and that I was living with my parents. A bigger part of me wanted to cover it all up. They didn’t need to know the truth. The truth distorts perception.

              I exhaled, “I’m actually staying at my parents’ house in Delaware in the northern section of Wilmington.”

              I scanned the room for reactions. Although some of my sorors looked as if they were confused, most of them had stains of pity left on their faces, and that bothered me to the core. I couldn’t have that. No. Hell no. I’d much rather have the entire chapter talk crap behind by back, than to have them look at me with sorry eyes, offering cheap advice on how to get my life together! As far as they were concerned, I have my life together, and I needed that conception to remain. So, the lies flowed and flowed like the Mississippi River. I told them that my parents needed help with my baby brother, Dominic, and that I decided it was the perfect time to step down from my career to further my education. I added that I was starting an internship with one of the top Real Estate agencies in country. They looked intrigued, so I continued. “This is why I don’t need your donations. Everything happens for a reason. If anything, what I need from you all is support.”

              I placed my hand on my chest and mimicked the same choked-up expression that Marley used earlier.  “Trav… Travis Beaumont didn’t lend his support... So… we broke up… The wedding is off, but what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger! I’m not at all affected by losing my condo or my fiancé. Sometimes in life, you have to make an ass out of adversity, before adversity makes an ass out of you!” 

              Pity left the building, and admiration filled the air. There were smiles on my sorors’ faces - warm, genuine smiles. There were compliments and encouraging words.  At the end of the meeting, Marley mentioned to the chapter that she was felt lucky to be my mentee. I soaked it all in like it was a lavender infused bubble bath.

              One year two months later…

              “I’m outside,” Marley said when I answered my ringing phone that added to the pain in my head.

              “Why?” I grumbled.

              “Church! Remember?”

              “Go home,” I moaned.

              “Nola!”

              I disconnected the call.

              Just as the doorbell chimed. I rolled over, smothering my face into the pillow. I had a few drinks the night before, and remnants of pomegranate martinis clung to my taste buds and seeped through my pores. I was a wrinkled mess, clothed in yesterday’s taupe midi-dress, suffused in yesterday’s glittery make-up. The big, poufy, grease-mop on my head sopped up all of the cigar fumes from yesterday’s lounge. I couldn’t go to church for the first time in over ten years feeling like a brothel escapee!

“Marley is downstairs!” my baby brother, Dominic, cheered at my bedroom entryway.

He smiled wide enough to expose all thirty-two of his teeth. His eyes glowed like two full moons.

“I love her!”

              “I know, but remind me to never respond to her text messages while I have a drink in my hand.”

              Dominic nodded in all seriousness, “I will.”

              I dragged myself out of bed and stood on the tips of my toes to kiss his forehead. While he happily bolted back downstairs to join his crush, I straggled down the hall to shower. Yesterday, I would have become Mrs. Gonorrhea, and only a small part of me yearned to be in relationship again, which was great considering my history. My line sister, Bailey, and I caustically celebrated the nearly $150,000 dollars that my parents wasted on a wedding that never happened and the $8,000 that they were able to recover from a returned wedding dress.  I danced on our booth, puffed a cigar, and stuffed my face with German chocolate cake as I officially tore out the pages to a chapter in my life that never finished.

              I scrubbed off yesterday, skipped make-up, slipped into a floral maxi dress and strappy heart shaped Louboutin heels, and brushed my mane into a sleek and low ponytail.  It was the best I could do considering I didn’t look or feel like myself anyway. It was just church.  I just had to sit pretty for about two hours, then go home to my bed!

              Marley didn’t look like her usual self either. She was dressed in a chrysanthemum pink skirt suit with an olive green blouse - our sorority colors. Her hair was freshly spiraled, and her face was glammed to the gods with a hot pink lip glass I spotted from the top of the stairwell. In the nearly two years I’ve known her, she had never worn hot pink lip glass.
Hell, she barely wore lip glass at all
.

              The last time I’d seen Marley was at last month’s chapter meeting. Today she glowed. She sat patiently, looking as if she was sitting at the end of a rainbow with a pot of gold. Dominic had his head resting on her shoulders, while her manicured hands held tightly onto one of his train figurines. Across from them was Dominic’s manny (male nanny), assembling a brand new train track model. My father, I imagined, was upstairs in his office researching for another criminal case he’d predictably win, and my mother was more than likely at the hospital assisting a surgery. 

              “Nola, you don’t look very good,” Dominic said with concern. I knew Dominic meant “well.”

              “I know baby. I partied last night,” I replied. I cut my eyes to Marley. “You owe me coffee or tea from FeliciTEAs and brunch, and whatever else I demand.”

              “I got you on the coffee, and I have you covered for brunch. I know an amazing cook.”

              “I’m holding you to it, Shirley Temple.”

              She smiled and cheerfully. “I used the flexi rods you got me months ago!”

              “… And, you’re rocking a bold lip that Stevie Wonder could see.”

              “I got it from that place you told me about… MAC!”

              Suddenly, I wanted to divorce my favorite beauty supplier.

***

              Marley zipped down the highway blasting gospel music. She was tapping her stirring wheel to the beat and swinging her head side-to-side, while late March’s spring breeze blew through her curls. When she exited and reached a stoplight, she turned the volume low.

              “Okay. So, I went to dinner with Greg last night and—“

              “Greg?” I asked as my eyebrows curled with confusion.

“Nola, you met him at the playground build in September.”

              “Oh, the young shy guy with the glasses? You’re dating
him
?”

              “Yes! Since September.”

              “I don’t know about that, Marley. He seems timid. And
you’re
timid. It will never work. I’m sorry. It never does. You need someone outgoing and outspoken to yank some spunk outta you… Light is green.”

              Marley made an exaggerated pouting face and pressed the pedal. “I happen to love that he’s timid.”

              “Love?” I playfully slapped her arm. “You got some last night!
That’s
why you’re so dolled up.”

              “Last night, he proposed!”

              I glanced down at Marley’s bare finger and asked, “Proposed what?”

              “Marriage, silly!”

              I laughed.

              “My father approves. My friends love him. He treats me amazingly. He grew up in church, he has a wonderful job, and he’s everything that I have asked God for.”

              “Congrats… I guess. But, if he has a wonderful job, then why is your hand naked?”

              “He’s saving for something marvelous.”

              I was once told that if a man proposed without a ring, then the only thing engaged is pathetic conversation. However, I kept my mouth shut on that. I dug in my make-up bag for lipstick.

              “We’re getting married in August.”

             
Found it! Passionate Plum
. I puckered my lips at the visor mirror.

              “I want you to be a bridesmaid,” she gladly announced.

              “Absolutely not!” I fired back.
The nerve of her
.

              “Maid of Honor?”

              “The answer remains, No.”

              She batted her hopeful eyes the same exact way she did when she visited our chapter meeting for the first time. With the back of her pants gathered in her behind, she anxiously stood in front of ninety other sorors and introduced herself as “a neophyte fresh out of college, eager to find a warm and welcoming chapter she could transfer into to, to begin an exciting life as a grad-level soror
.” Child there is nothing exciting about grad-level
, I wanted to tell her at the time. Just as I wanted to tell her that it was nothing exciting about being engaged to a man she had just met. Nine months isn’t even enough time to figure out if he’s a cock-burning nymph like Trav.

              Marley parked in the PASTOR’S FAMILY spot at her church and turned off the car.  “I think you will make a perfect Maid of Honor or bridesmaid.”  She counted on her fingers as she listed the reasons for her choice.  “I love you like a big sis, I value your opinions, and… it would mean a lot to me.”

              “It would mean a lot
to me
if you didn’t talk to me about your wedding the day
after
I was supposed to have mine,” I retorted.

              Marley lowered her head in deference and spoke wobbly. “Nola. I am so sorry…. I forgot... I...-I wasn’t thinking.”

              The both of us sat in silence moments before I caved. “Fine. I’ll be your
advisor
. I’m not ready to be anybody’s Maid
anything
for
anybody’s
wedding.”

              Marley pressed her hands together. “Oh thank you, Jesus!” She then threw up her hands, “Fine. Perfectly fine. I’ll take that!”

              She led us through the church doors of Worship Way Baptist Church, and we maneuvered through a maze of smiling and extremely affectionate people. In the lobby area, there were flat screens mounted on the wall and plenty of chairs for overflow. I motioned to sit there but Marley mentioned that her father wanted her to sit front and center every service.

              I was amazed at how modern even medium-sized churches have become since I’d last attended a service. The announcements were done via slideshow on two large screens—not delivered by an old lady wearing a ginormous hat. The choir didn’t hold those rigidity red Hymn books either. Instead, lyrics to the songs appeared on the screen as well. Her church partied how Marley partied all the way there, just ten notches higher. Even children stood and jumped and clapped their hands. I didn’t want to be the only unstirred soul in the building, so when Marley clapped, I clapped. And, when Marley stood, I stood—even when I had no idea why I clapping or standing.

              After the choir sung, a tasteful bald pastor who looked to be about my age, if not older, rose and approached the podium. He was sitting next to another pastor who had to have been Marley’s father, with his hoary beard and pudgy physique.

              As the pastor at the podium delivered the sermon, I zoned completely out, burning with fervor. Who knew pastors were even capable of possessing that much pulchritude and swag? The way he strolled across the altar while he preached with one hand in his pocket, but not enough to hide his Movado wrist bling, had my full attention. The other hand was waving and pointing with each passionate emphasis. There was something about the way his natty suit laid perfectly tailored, disregarding a corny church robe. The grey opened jacket. Pure white shirt—free of a bulging belly, unlike his colleagues—adorned with a soft yellow, skinny tie which gave his attire the perfect finishing touch.

              While he preached, flashes of romantic dinners, spicy nights, and all kinds licentious thoughts took over. It was then that two things occurred to me. One, I was sexually deprived and the so called “small part of me” that needed to be with a man, was actually large… way large. Two,
he
was the reason Marley dragged me here! I grabbed her arm and rested my head on her shoulder. I smiled, giving her a tacit approval, and she patted my hand.

              After the service, Marley and I waited in the lobby for her father. I stood casually, but deep inside, I wanted to nudge her and send her off to find the pastor who preached.

              “I take it you enjoyed the sermon?” Marley smiled.

              “Of course! I just wish my hair was on point,” I said as I flipped out my pocket mirror to ensure my ponytail was still intact.

              Marley giggled, “Seriously, Nola. What did you think about the message?”

              The look on her face made it clear that she didn’t bring me there for a hook-up after all. The girl really wanted me to hear the message, and instead, I was busy lusting over one of her pastors. I felt like the wanton of Worship Way. I grabbed her hand, and lied.

              “Powerful. I loved it.”

              She clapped, and cheered, “Yay! So that means we will see you again?”

              “I don’t know about that.”

              ”Oh, come on.”

              “I’m not a church girl. You know that.” I had my eyes fixed on the throng of worshipers either chatting or exiting. I was hoping I would spot the pastor of the hour. He was nowhere in sight.

              “Well, I think you should become a church girl,” Marley pressed. “You even said at the meeting that your classes and internship were getting tough for you. God could help you. Allow Him to guide you. God is…”

              “Alright! You’re right. I will visit once more,” I finally agreed.

              Marley bounced, “Hallelujah!”

              “Just once… so you can quit preaching.”

              “All God needs is once, Nola,” Marley beamed.

              The lobby began to clear and my stomach grumbled for breakfast food.

              “Where. Is. Your. Father? He better hurry before I change my mind about ever coming back.”

              “I should probably get him. Sometimes it takes him a while.”

              “And, maybe next time I visit, he’ll actually preach.”

              Marley raised her eyebrow and replied with a slight chuckle, “Wait, I can’t tell if you’re joking or serious.”

              “Joking about what?”

              She laughed, “Wow! You really are serious.”

              “Serious about what?” I asked, agitated.

              “Nola that
was
my father preaching.”

              “Wait, what?” I shot Marley a suspicious side-eye. “The man with the yellow tie?”