Beautiful Redemption (31 page)

I carefully peeled it away from his weeping raw knuckles and then looked up at him.

“The racist bastards insulted you.”

“So, you tried to beat them to death?” I shrieked.

“No, that came after I heard them casually mention that they hoped your route home included a dark alley.”

I sighed. “C’mon. I’ll clean you up.”

“I got it.”

“Wrapping and icing doesn’t constitute cleaning. You’re going to get an infection in your joints. Does that sound like fun?”

Thomas frowned.

“Okay then.”

Thomas and I went into his bathroom. He sat on the edge of the tub, holding up both of his hands in loose fists.

“First-aid kit?”

He nodded toward the sink. “Underneath.”

I pulled out a clear plastic container, unsnapped it, and opened it wide, poking through the various items. “Peroxide?”

Thomas recoiled.

“You can punch two full-grown men until the skin sheds off your knuckles, but you can’t handle a few seconds of a fizzy burning sensation?”

“In the medicine cabinet. The mirror pulls open.”

“I know. Mine, too,” I deadpanned.

“I tried to walk home without—”

“Attacking them?”

“Some people are belligerent, predatory assholes their entire lives until one person comes along and beats the shit out of them. It gives them a new perspective.”

“Is that what you’re calling it? You think you did them a favor.”

He frowned. “I did the world a favor.”

I poured the hydrogen peroxide over his injuries, and he sucked air through his teeth as he jerked his hands back.

I sighed. “I just can’t believe you lost your shit like that over a stupid insult and an empty threat.”

Thomas leaned his face toward his shoulder and used it to wipe his cheek, smearing two small specks of blood.

“You should probably bathe in this,” I said, holding up the big brown bottle in my hands.

“Why?”

I grabbed tissue from the toilet paper roll and soaked it in the disinfectant. “Because I’m fairly certain that’s not your blood.”

Thomas looked up, seeming bored.

“I’m sorry. Would you like me to leave?” I asked.

“Actually, I would.”

“No!” I snapped.

“Oh!
That
insults you.”

I dabbed at his wounds with a clean cotton ball. “Strangers can’t hurt my feelings, Thomas. People I care about can.”

His shoulders sagged. He suddenly looked too tired to argue.

“What were you doing at Cutter’s?” I asked.

“I’m a regular there.”

I frowned. “You haven’t been.”

“I needed a drink.”

“Bad Monday?” I asked, wondering if there was ever a good one.

He hesitated. “I called Travis on Friday.”

“April Fools’ Day?” I asked. Thomas gave me a few seconds. “Oh! His birthday.”

“He hung up on me.”

“Ouch.”

Right when I said the word, Thomas jerked his hand back.

“Son of a—” He pressed his lips together, the veins in his neck swelling, as he strained.

“Sorry.” I flinched.

“I miss you,” Thomas said quietly. “I’m trying to keep it professional at work, but I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“You’ve been kind of a bear. People are likening it to the days just post-Camille.”

He laughed once without humor. “There’s no comparison. This is much, much worse.”

I concentrated on wrapping his wounds. “Let’s just be glad that we didn’t let this get too far.”

He nodded. “You should definitely be glad. I wasn’t that smart.”

I let my hands fall to my lap. “What are you talking about? You told me two weeks ago that you couldn’t love me.”

“Liis…do you have feelings for me?”

“You know I do.”

“Do you love me?”

I stared into his desperate eyes for a long time. The more seconds that passed, the more hopeless he looked.

I let out a faltering breath. “I don’t want to be in love, Thomas.”

He looked down at the bandages on his hands, already dotted red with his blood. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“No.”

“You’re lying. How can you have such a strong personality and be so fucking afraid?”

“So what?” I snapped. “You would be scared, too, if I told you I was still in love with Jackson and you were way,
way
out of your emotional comfort zone.”

“That’s not fair.”

I lifted my chin. “I don’t have to be fair to you, Thomas. I just have to be fair to me.” I stood and took a step backward toward the door.

He shook his head and chuckled. “You, Liis Lindy, are most definitely my payback.”

T
HE STAIRS SEEMED PREFERABLE
to taking the elevator one floor down. I trudged down to my floor and passed my door to walk the few steps to the window at the end of the hallway.

The corner across the street was smeared with blood, but no one seemed to notice. The people who walked by had no idea about the violence that had occurred, not even an hour before, in the space they were passing through.

A couple stopped just a few feet from the largest stain, arguing. The woman looked both ways and then crossed the street, and I recognized her just before she slipped beneath the awning of our lobby. Marks followed her, and I sighed, knowing they would both be stepping off the elevator minutes later.

I went to my door and unlocked it, and then I waited in the open doorway. The elevator chimed, and the doors revealed my friend looking angrier than I’d ever seen her.

She stepped out and then stopped abruptly, elbowing Marks when he ran into her. “Are you leaving?” she asked me.

“No. Just getting home.” I held the door open. “Come in.”

She passed by, and then Marks paused, waiting for my permission. I nodded, and he followed her to the couch.

I shut the door and turned, crossing my arms. “I am not in the mood to Dr. Phil you two. I can’t figure out my own shit.” I raked my hair away from my face, and then I walked over to the chair, scooping up the folded throw and holding it in my lap as I sat down.

“You agree with me, don’t you, Liis?” Marks asked. “She needs to kick him out.”

“He won’t leave,” Val said, exasperated.

“Then, I’ll make him leave,” Marks growled.

I rolled my eyes. “C’mon, Marks. You know the law. He is her husband. If the cops came, you would be the one asked to leave.”

Marks’s jaw worked beneath the skin, and then he looked beyond my kitchen. “You have a second bedroom. You’ve invited her.”

“She doesn’t want to lose her condo,” I said.

Val’s eyes widened. “That’s what I’ve told him.”

“I don’t want you living with him! It’s fucking weird!” Marks said.

“Joel, I’m handling this,” Val said. “If you don’t want to stick around, I understand.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Why are you two here?”

Marks sighed. “I came to pick her up for dinner. He made a big deal. Usually, I wait for her outside, but I thought I’d be a fucking gentleman for once. He made a scene. Who’s she pissed at? Me.”

“Why do we do this to ourselves?” I asked, mostly to myself. “We’re grown adults. Love makes us so stupid.”

“He doesn’t love me,” Val said.

“Yes, I do,” Marks said, looking at her.

She slowly turned to him. “You do?”

“I chased you for months, and I’m still chasing you. You think this is a casual fling for me? I love you.”

Val’s face fell, and her lip jutted out. “I love you, too.”

They hugged each other and then began to kiss.

I looked up at the ceiling, contemplating a tantrum.

“Sorry,” Val said, fixing her lipstick.

“It’s fine,” I deadpanned.

“We should probably get going,” Marks said. “We barely got a reservation. I don’t want to have to drive around looking for a decent meal at nine thirty at night.”

I forced a smile and then walked to the door, opening it wide.

“Sorry,” Val whispered as she passed.

I shook my head. “It’s fine.”

I shut the door, walked straight back to my bedroom, and fell face-first onto my bed.

Val and Marks had made finding a solution look so easy, figuring it out even though Val had been sharing a condo with Sawyer for over a year. I was miserable living an entire floor below Thomas. But our problems seemed more complicated than living with an ex. I loved a man who I couldn’t love, who loved someone else but loved me more.

Love could kiss my ass.

The next morning, I was relieved not to see Thomas in the elevator.

As the weeks passed, it became less of a worry and more of a memory.

Thomas would make sure to arrive at work before me and to stay far later. The meetings were short and tense, and if we were given an assignment, Val, Sawyer, and I hated to come back to Constance empty-handed.

The rest of Squad Five kept their heads down, scowling at me when they thought I wouldn’t notice. The days were long. Just being in the squad room was stressful, and I had quickly become everyone’s least favorite supervisor in the building.

Eight straight days went by without any run-ins with Thomas at Cutter’s, and then another week passed.

Anthony had given me the number of a friend who knew someone who shipped vehicles, and once I’d called and mentioned Anthony’s name, the price dropped in half.

By May, my Camry had been delivered, and I was able to explore more of San Diego. Val and I went to the zoo, and I began systematically visiting all the beaches, always alone. It became sort of a thing.

It didn’t take me long to fall in love with the city, and I wondered if falling quick was going to start being a thing with me, too. That was squashed after several outings with Val as I began to understand that every interaction with a man just reminded me of how much I missed Thomas.

One hot, sticky Saturday night, I pulled into the Kansas City Barbeque parking lot and shoved my keys into my purse. Even in a sundress, I could feel the sweat dripping from under my breasts and down to my stomach. It was a heat only the ocean or a pool could alleviate.

My skin was slick, and my hair was pulled into a loose knot at the top of my head. The humidity reminded me of the island, and I needed to distract myself.

I pushed the door open and froze. The first thing in my line of sight was Thomas standing in front of the dartboard with a blonde, holding her in one arm as he tried to help her aim a dart with the other.

The moment we made eye contact, I turned on my heels and walked quickly to my car. Running was not conducive in wedges. Before I could even clear the front patio, someone rounded the corner, and I plowed into him, getting knocked off my footing.

Before I hit the ground, large hands swooped me up.

“What the hell is your hurry?” Marks said, releasing me once I’d found my balance.

“Sorry. I was just coming in here for a late dinner.”

“Oh,” he said with a knowing smile. “You saw Maddox in there.”

“I, uh…can find somewhere else to eat.”

“Liis?” Thomas called from the doorway.

“She doesn’t want to eat here since you’re here,” Marks yelled back, cupping my shoulder.

Everyone dining on the patio turned to look at me.

I pushed Marks’s hand away and lifted my chin. “Fuck off.”

I stomped toward my car.

Marks called after me, “You’ve been hanging out with Val too long!”

I didn’t turn around. Instead, I reached into my purse for my keys and pressed the keyless entry.

Before I could open the door, I felt hands on me again.

“Liis,” Thomas said, breathless from jogging across the parking lot.

I jerked my arm away and yanked the door open.

“She’s just a friend. She worked in Constance’s position for Polanski when he was the ASAC.”

I shook my head. “You don’t have to explain.”

He pushed his hands into his pocket. “Yeah, I do. You’re upset.”

“Not because I want to be.” I looked up at him. “I’ll figure it out. Until then, the avoidance thing is working for me.”

Thomas nodded once. “I’m sorry. Upsetting you is the last thing I want to do. You, um…you look gorgeous. Were you meeting someone?”

I made a face. “No, I’m not meeting someone. I’m not dating. I don’t date,” I snapped. “Not that I don’t expect you to,” I said, motioning to the restaurant.