Becoming Forever (Waking Forever Series) (43 page)

Coleen scoffed. “You’ve said it yourself
, Em, a vampire-shifter relationship is a perversion.” The woman watched Ash carefully to see if she had struck a nerve, but Ash sat perfectly still refusing to let this hateful woman know how her words had cut through her.

“I know what I said in the past, but Ash didn’t ask for this.” Emma pleaded with Coleen. “There are exceptions to every rule, and I can tell you in no uncertain terms, I will never take her blood and she will never have mine.”

Coleen started to speak, but Emma raised her hand. “Wait, let me finish. You know -” Emma leaned forward, her eyes filling with red tears. “You know when I say I will
never
feed on her, that I mean it to the very center of who I am.”

Coleen’s eyes
softened and she reached across the table for Emma’s hand. “I am only thinking of your well-being. Why would you want to live with this temptation until she dies?”

The frankness of the conversation and the casual way Coleen talked about Ash as if she wasn’t there, had begun to wear thin with the woman.
Whatever her and Emma’s history, or her feelings for Emma, she was going too far.

Ash
had promised herself she would leave most of the talking to Emma, but her self-respect was pushing her to defend herself and Emma. “Sorry to interrupt, but since I
can
hear you two, I wondered if I could maybe interject something?” Not waiting for a response, Ash continued. “Putting aside the casual way you talk about my death, Coleen, I am really struggling to see how any of this is your business.”

Ash could see Emma visibly
tense next to her as Coleen stood. “You’ve known Emma for half a second. Even if you live to be a hundred, you would only have known her for
one
second of her existence.” Coleen put her hands on the table, and leaned toward Ash. “I will be here when you are dirt on the sole of a shoe.”

“You go too far
, Coleen.” Emma stood and Ash followed suit. “As much as I value and need our friendship, I’m
not
doing this with you for the next sixty years.” She turned and walked toward the house, and then stopped and faced Coleen. “I love you.”

Ash looked at Emma, and realized she understood Coleen’s feelings for her perhaps better than any of them. Because of that, the pained look on her face tugged at Ash’s heart, and she took Emma’s hand in hers.

Emma looked at Ash and smiled reassuringly, and then looked at Coleen, who remained standing rigidly next to the table. “I love you, but I don’t owe you anything more than that.” Emma took a tentative step backward. “I certainly don’t owe you my happiness.”

Perhaps for the first time in her nearly three thousand year existence, Coleen was rendered speechless as Emma and Ash left the garden, and walked out the front door.

***

The drive back to Emma’s house had been in silence. Ash didn’t want to pressure her to talk about what had transpired between her and Coleen before she was ready. Walking into the entry hall of her house, Emma put her purse down on the table next to the door, and without a word, walked toward the kitchen.

Ash hesitated, not sure if she should follow, or if Emma needed time alone. Deciding to at least stay accessible should she need her, Ash walked toward the kitchen where Emma stood at the island with Glenlivet in a glass tumbler.

Chewing on a piece of ice, Emma shook her head. “I never drank as a human, and now I can’t even get drunk, but I understand situations like this often call for drunken stupors.” She looked at the nearly empty glass, and shrugged. “Can’t be helped.”

Ash picked up the bottle of liquor and poured Emma another glass. “Don’t you give up, don’t you do that - you’re better than that.” She smirked at the woman who couldn’t help but laugh.

“
Gosh, did that suck.” Emma sat on a stool.

Ash smiled at the informality of her phrasing, and sat on the stool next to her. She wanted to ask the obvious question, but wasn’t sure if this was the right time. “
Em, ah -”

Emma looked at her, and reached out to gently lay her cool hand on Ash’s shoulder. “I’ve
known for decades, but we’ve hardly talked about it.”

Ash covered Emma’s hand with hers. “Why not?”

Taking another drink, Emma shrugged. “What was the point? I don’t love her like that, and she knew it. Why risk the friendship?” Taking a deep breath, Emma emptied the glass.

“Why don’t you love her
like that
?” Ash wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the answer.

Emma poured another glass of Glenlivet, and took a long drink before speaking. “Simply put, Coleen is too old for me.” She looked at Ash’s confused expression and smiled. “She has no interest in still being
part of the larger world around her. She is entirely vampire, and wants only to be with other vampires. I - obviously - don’t want that kind of one dimensional existence.”

What Emma said made perfect sense to Ash. “Did you ever try with her?”

Emma nodded, and put her glass down on the counter. “That’s why she left for Europe. It was the only time we spoke openly about her feelings for me, and it was then that I explained to her what I needed to continue living.” The woman shrugged. “We couldn’t reconcile our differences; so she left.”

“But you’re in each other’s lives now.” Ash wished she was a scotch drinker.

Emma tapped her thumb nail on the side of her glass. “Coleen seems only to relate to humanity in terms of their wars and atrocities. Every time humans were behaving badly, Coleen was there with her converts.” Sighing Emma finished the last of her drink, the oak and spice flavors coating her throat. “There was a slight shift in her after spending time in Vietnam in the late sixties. She seemed to need something calmer, less violent; so she found me.”

“You make her better.” Ash mused.

Emma looked at Ash for several seconds, her eyes still. “I don’t want that responsibility.” Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. “It hardly mattered in the end.”

Ash frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean all those years with awkward glances and affections
not
being spoken to because of fear - and we’ve still lost each other.”

“I’m sorry.” It was all Ash could think to say.

Emma managed a slight smile, and got up. Rinsing her glass in the sink, she turned to face Ash. “I’m going to be gone tonight.”

Ash felt a second of panic course through her. “Okay. Is everything alright?”

Emma nodded, walked over, and turned the stool Ash sat on so they were facing. “I need to feed. With everything that’s happened, it’s been well over a week.”

Ash took Emma’s face in her hands, and pressed her lips to the woman’s. It wasn’t a kiss intended to arouse, but one meant to reaffirm her commitment to this wonderful woman. “I’ll miss you.”

Laying her head on Ash’s shoulder, Emma wrapped her arms around her waist. “I wish I could wait. I don’t want to leave you, but-”

Leaning back, Ash shook her head. “No worries. Call me when you get back, and we can have dinner.” Ash grinned. “Speaking of - can we order a pizza?” She glanced down. “Or two?”

Emma laughed. “Pepperoni?”

Ash nodded enthusiastically. “Extra pepperoni.”

***

The sun had just slipped below the horizon as Emma stepped out of her car.
She had driven fifty miles north of San Antonio, into the Hill Country. Every time she hunted she would park her car at the small rest stop off of IH-10, and after putting a quarter mile or more between her and the highway, she would begin her run into the wilderness.

Tonight she hesitated as she walked around the hood of her car. As much as she loved Coleen, she missed her more. It had only been hours since their falling out and already Emma felt the loss. Her body felt tense, and on edge as if she was coiled tight like a spring.
Then a good run and kill is exactly what you need.

She forced herself
forward, and then into a full on sprint up a steep, rocky hill. Stopping at the top of the incline, she lifted her head and took a deep breath. The musky scent of a coyote wafted along the breeze from the west. Emma launched herself off the ledge and dropping nearly thirty feet, hit the ground and continued her run toward the prey.

Movement along the tree lines to her left and her right drew her attention from the hunt.
A surge of adrenaline coursed through her as she caught the scent of a lycan. Scaling a sheer rock wall, Emma perched on her haunches along a ledge. Lifting her head up, she took a deep breath in through her nose.

She instantly registered the smell wasn’t a single lycan, but at least
five lycans. Before she could pivot and drop from the ledge, a massive weight slammed into her backside. Emma fell to the ground below, managing to land on her feet, and turning to face her attackers.

A loud rumbling came from behind her.
Emma quickly pivoted and was struck by a wall of coarse hair and hardened muscle and bone. A second later she landed on her back and in spite of her efforts to get up, she was unable to move as an oppressive weight bore down on her chest, arms, and legs.

Long, sharp teeth bit at her shoulders, wrists, and calves. The
toughness of her skin resisted most of the bites, but the pressure snapped her bones and left her arms and legs useless. Having not fed recently, she wasn’t as strong as she otherwise would be, nor was she healing as quickly.

Emma
turned her head and, craning her neck as far to the left as she could, took hold of the lycan’s flank and sunk her teeth in. The animal yelped as Emma tossed her head to the right, flinging the animal several feet, where it landed with a thud. Gnashing and ripping with her teeth at anything she could get a hold of, Emma thrashed and pulled against her attackers.

Her struggles were rendered moot when a silver cord was wrapped around her throat, and a second cord roped around her wrists. The last thing
Emma saw before a black hood was pulled over her head was the glow of ten red eyes flanking her on every side.

Chapter 20

“A buck-fifty for your thoughts.”
Alan’s voice broke into Ash’s musings.

“What?” Ash leaned back in her chair. “A buck-fifty, is that the phrase?”

“I’ve adjusted it for inflation.” Alan took a drink of his lemonade. “What is wrong with you anyway? I wouldn’t have invited you to lunch if I knew you were suicidal.”

Ash had agreed to have lunch with Alan at
Willie’s Grill and Icehouse. Not having heard from Emma since she left the night before to hunt, she needed the distraction, and she missed Alan. “I’m not suicidal.” She took a bite of her chili bacon cheeseburger. “Clinically depressed, but not suicidal.”

“Or PMS has taken hold of you
, my friend.” Alan watched as Ash took a bite of an onion ring, and chased it with a long pull from her chocolate milkshake. “Way to put that food between you and those feelings.”

Popping another onion ring
in her mouth, Ash shrugged. “Chauvinist. You assume if a woman’s upset she must be premenstrual.”

Alan smirked. “I call it like I see it
, friend.”

“Well
, for your information you’re wrong.” Ash wanted to tell Alan everything. She needed to confide in someone about the absolute cluster her life had been for the past two weeks, and how at the same time she had found the woman she was going to spend her life with. She decided the latter was, ironically, the safest topic. “Emma and I are together now.”

Alan choked on his lemonade, and wiping at his chin with a napkin scowled at Ash. “Never while I’m drinking, and shame on you for burying your lead. When? Why? How?” He shook his head. “Strike the how - too much information.”

Ash shook her head, and in spite of being worried about Emma, couldn’t help but smile. “About a week ago, and because we’re in love.”

Alan’s smile was so broad he practically beamed. “Oh, sweetie, I’m so happy for you.”

“I’m happy for me too.” Ash was happy, but she also wished Emma would call her. It was after noon, and she hadn’t responded to any of the text messages Ash had sent. Looking at her watch, she wiped her grease laden hands with a napkin. “I have to get back to work, but can we have drinks Saturday night?”

Alan reached across the table and grabbed Ash’s hand. “Not so fast. If you’ve found the love of your life, why so glum?”

Ash winced. She had hoped he wouldn’t notice that. “Work is a bit of a bitch right now. My cases are going terrible and my boss is not happy.” Again, the easiness in which she lied to her dearest friend made the massive lunch Ash had just consumed do a quick flip in her stomach.

Alan narrowed his eyes, and pulled his hand back from Ash’s. “I don’t believe you, but clearly you don’t want
to confide in me at this time. So I will permit you this deception, and call you on your shit later.”

Ash scoffed. “Thanks
, Dr. Phil.” She leaned across the table, and kissed her friend on the cheek. “Text me the information for Saturday.” They said their goodbyes, and Ash walked to her Jeep. Once inside the car, she pulled her phone from her back pant pocket, and not seeing any messages from Emma felt a nervous twinge in her chest.