Behind Closed Doors (6 page)

“Yeah, in my closet.”

“Unless Andy found him.”

That would make for an awkward conversation. Darren was freaked out enough already. Getting caught by Andy without me there might send him over the edge. “Come on.” I tug Noelle’s elbow and yank the door open. The hallway is filled with people, all talking about the evacuation.

I race to our room and open the door. Andy is lying on Noelle’s bed with the remote in his hand, flipping channels on the TV. I look at him briefly before rushing to my closet and pulling the door open.

It’s empty.

Darren’s gone.

Chapter Seven

I text Darren a few times, but he doesn’t answer. Finally I crawl into bed, staring at the double lump in Noelle’s bed. Andy’s become a permanent fixture in our room. I’m happy for Noelle. I really am, but seeing Andy just reminds me of what I don’t have. I want Darren in my bed next to me. I roll over and face the wall, sighing and holding back tears. My pillow smells like Darren, and I pull it closer to my face. I close my eyes and try to pretend it’s him I’m holding in my arms.

Tuesday passes without a word from Darren, and since I only have Intro to Art on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, I don’t even get to see him in class. By evening, I’m a mess.

Noelle opens our door and flings her bag onto her bed, something she learned from watching me. But I don’t even have the energy to fling my bag, so I let it drop to the floor. She pulls Andy’s keys from her pocket and waves them in front of my face. “Go clean yourself up. We’re going to McEntire’s for dinner tonight.”

My face brightens. “Seriously?”

“Yup. Andy has swim practice tonight, and I’m not going to sit around here while you mope over Darren.” The swim team usually practices early in the mornings, but once a week they have evening practice. It’s just about the only time I get to spend with Noelle without Andy attached to her hip.

“And Andy said you could take his car?”

“Not exactly, but I’ll make it up to him later.” She winks. That’s my girl.

“Give me five minutes.” I rush to the bathroom to wash my face and fix my hair. I stare at my freckles in the mirror, completely exposed after I rinsed the makeup off my face. Maybe if I’d gone to the pub like this the night I met Darren, he wouldn’t have asked me to go back to his apartment with him. Maybe he has the same dislike for them. But as I look at the freckles I realize covering them is ridiculous. They’re part of me, and I want Darren to see me the way I really am. I decide to skip the makeup tonight.

Noelle smiles when I walk back into the room. She notices my freckles, but isn’t about to comment. “Ready?”

“I think so.” I’m still not sure if just showing up at the pub is a good idea, but I have to see Darren. I need to know what he’s keeping from me. Not that he owes me any explanations, but with how close we’ve gotten in the few days I’ve known him, I think I have a right to ask why he’s pushing me away.

Noelle puts her arm around my shoulders as we head out of the dorm and to Andy’s car, which is parked in the lot across the street. The drive to the pub is silent. I’m collecting my thoughts and trying not to freak out at Darren’s possible answers—if he’s even willing to talk about it.

Ev
en though it’s early, McEntire’s is packed. My hopes for getting a chance to talk to Darren plummet, but Noelle makes me go inside anyway. “What if he’s not even working tonight?” I say as we walk up to the hostess station, which is crowded with people waiting for tables.

“Let’s find out.”

I stretch up on my tippy toes and see Darren at the bar, reaching for a bottle behind him. I stare, enjoying the view. He must make a killing in tips from his female customers. The thought sends jealousy coursing through me. He’s not mine, but God do I want him to be.

“Do you see him?” Noelle asks, still trying to look around people.

“Yeah, he’s at the bar.” That poses another problem. I don’t recognize most of the staff tonight. They aren’t the same people who worked the other night when I was with Darren. And without him at my side now, I’m bound to get carded, which means I’m not getting anywhere near that bar.

“Just tell the hostess you’re here to talk to Darren.”

“He’s swamped. He’s not going to leave the bar to come talk to me, and she’s not going to let me sit a the bar without showing ID.”

Noelle looks at me, and I can see the wheels turning in her mind. “What would you do if it were Andy at that bar and I needed to see him?”

I think for a moment, and a laugh escapes my lips. “I’d distract the hostess so you could slip past her and get to the bar.”

Noelle smiles. “Done.”

“What?” She’s never pulled a stunt like this. It’s my thing, not hers.

“Count to ten and get ready to walk up to that bar like you own it.”

I have no idea how she’s going to distract the hostess, but I hug her, thankful that she’s even willing to try this for me. She turns and walks up to the hostess, her arms flailing all around her. What the hell?

“I’ve been waiting for an hour. The whole point of making a reservation is that you don’t have to wait.”

“But you never even—”

“The reservation is under Peterson. Don’t pretend like we haven’t already had this conversation,” Noelle continues, making it up as she goes.

The hostess
frantically searches the reservation book in front of her. “I’m sorry, but your name isn’t on my list.”

“Then get me your manager,” Noelle yells.

The hostess turns and walks off toward the kitchen. I don’t waste time. I head straight for the bar, my eyes locked on Darren. He looks up briefly before pouring a shot, but he does a double take and winds up spilling the Grey Goose all over the bar. He quickly mops it up, giving me a chance to squeeze myself at the end of the bar next to the same guy who gave up his seat for me the other night.

“Hey, it’s you,” the guy says with a smile.

“Hi.” I smile back. “Crowded in here tonight, huh?”

“Where are my manners?” He hops off the stool. “Please, have a seat.”

“That’s so sweet of you,” I say, sitting down.

“Hey, Darren, this girl of yours needs a drink,” he calls down the bar.

Darren looks up at me. He’s not going to serve me now that he knows I’m only nineteen.

“Actually, I’d love some coffee.”

He nods and heads to the coffee pot on the side of the bar. When he returns with my cup, he leans close and whispers, “What are you doing here?”

“That was my line, remember? When you showed up yesterday?” I leave off the part about my dorm, not wanting anyone to overhear. “How did you get out, by the way?”

Darren wipes the bar with the dishcloth, most likely because he has built up nervous energy. “I took the stairs to the laundry room and waited in there until the coast was clear.”

“Clever. You could’ve stayed though. It wasn’t like we were finished talking.”

“You shouldn’t have come here.”

“Then you should’ve texted me back.” Now I’m getting angry. He’s calling all the shots, like he’s the only one who gets to make the decisions. Show up when he wants to. Ignore me when he wants to. I’m done with it.

“I’m sorry. Please don’t get angry with me.”

“Too late.” I stare into his eyes. “I need to know what you’re keeping from me. It’s not just about your job.”

“Murray!” Darren yells, tossing the dishtowel onto the bar. “I’m taking ten. Cover the bar.”

Th
e guy who gave me his seat nods, joins Darren, and drapes the dishtowel over his shoulder.

“Does he even work here?” I ask.

Darren waves it off and meets me at my stool. “He’s here all the time. He knows what to do.” He leads me out the back, through the employee entrance. The back parking lot is full of cars, too. He walks over to his BMW and opens the passenger door. I’m not sure if he just doesn’t want to talk out in the open or if he plans to take me somewhere. Maybe his apartment. My pulse quickens at the thought.

I get in the car and wait for him to join me. He gets in but doesn’t start the engine or say a word. “Darren—”

He puts his hand up. “I need a minute.” God, how bad can his secret be? He sighs. “My dad used to teach at Timberland.”

“Really? I thought you said he’s always had this pub.”

“He has. Ever since he got fired.” He stares through the windshield at the back of the pub, and I can tell this isn’t easy for him to talk about.

“What did he do to get fired?”

“I think you mean
who
.”

Who? Oh my God! “Did your father sleep with—”

“One of his students. My mom.”

“Oh.” That’s not so bad. “Well, at least it worked out for them, right?”

“My mom was expelled, and my dad was canned. How did it work out for them?” He leans his head back on the seat and turns so he’s facing me.

“Because they’re still together.” Rooming with Noelle is certainly changing me. She’s acting more like me and I’m acting more like her. I even sound like her now.

“My grandfather owned the pub, and when Dad’s career went to shit, my grandfather gave the pub to him.”

“So your grandfather was rooting for your parents?”

“More like trying to save the family’s reputation. He told my dad he could have the pub if he married my mom. You know, so people wouldn’t think he was the type to just screw around with his students.”

I can’t help wondering how old his mother was at the time and how they’d met. “Did they meet without knowing he’d be her professor?”

“Not exactly. Mom was a senior. She knew Dad was a professor, but he didn’t know her. She came into the pub one day with a few friends, but she ditched them pretty quickly and hung out at the bar with Dad.”

Dear God! Their meeting is sounding way too familiar. The only exception is I didn’t know who Darren was when I approached him.

“By your expression, I’m guessing you see the connection, too. Believe me, it’s more unnerving when it’s
your
parents. The last person I want to compare the girl I’m sleeping with to is my mother.” His words are like a knife in my gut. “Mom didn’t tell Dad that she knew who he was.”

“And your dad thought she was a grad student.” I can barely get the words out. That’s why he was so pissed at me. I did to him what his mother did to his father. It wasn’t exactly the same, but it was pretty damn close.

He moves closer to me. “I’ve never been so attracted to anyone, so you can see why certain similarities freak me the fuck out.”

I nod. If Darren reminded me the least bit of my dad I’d be running. I’m not sure how he’s still in the car with me.

“You’re not like her though. You look nothing alike, and Mom’s nowhere near as forward as you are.”

I breathe a sigh of relief. “So she agreed to marry your dad?”

“No. She turned him down. He lost everything, and she left him.”

The story can’t end there. Darren wouldn’t be here if it did. “How did they get together then?”

“Mom transferred schools, but she never forgot my dad. She came back after she graduated, and they’ve been together ever since.”

“Was your dad angry that she misled him?”

“Not like my grandfather was. Dad loved her, so he got over it pretty quickly.”

“You could’ve told me this before.”

He laughs. “Julia, we’ve known each other for a matter of days. You’ve made me do things I’ve never done this soon before, but divulging information this personal is pushing it, don’t you think?”

“I didn’t
make
you do anything.” How can he say that? It’s obvious this connection between us is completely mutual.

He reaches for my face. “I told you, when I’m around you, I can’t think straight. You’re all I can see. I know you don’t mean to, but you do make me do things I normally wouldn’t. Do you have any idea how many girls hit on me at the bar?”