Born in Sin (10 page)

But in his heart, he knew that would never happen.

He would never allow that to happen.

“Why do you look at me that way?” she asked.

“What way is that?”

“Forlornly. You remind me of a wishful dreamer staring after something he thinks he can never have.”

Sin blinked and forced all the feelings from his body as he released her. He gently extricated himself from her and the temptation she offered. “I didn’t realize I was doing that.”

“You do it quite a bit, actually.”

“Well then, I shall have to be more careful, shan’t I?”

She leaned forward as if to impart a great secret. “I think you’ve spent way too much time trying to keep anyone from seeing your emotions.”

He snorted at her. “Except for you. You seem to be able to see into my thoughts with uncanny accuracy.”

“My father claimed it was my mother’s blood. Legend has it her family came from the fey folk.”

Sin looked away. “I don’t believe in such tales.”

“I figured as much. You strike me as a man who will only believe in what he can see or touch.”

“Exactly.”

“But you know, sometimes it’s what you don’t see that has the most power.”

“Meaning?”

“Love for one thing. It’s the most powerful thing on earth, and yet you can’t see it or touch it. You can only feel it.”

He shook his head at her whimsical words. “Spoken like a true romantic spirit.”

“You don’t believe it?”

“Remember what you said. I don’t believe in anything I can’t see or touch.”

“So, you’ve never been in love?”

“Nay. You?”

“Never.”

“Then how do you know it’s so powerful?”

“Morna told me all about it. She has it for my father even though he’s been dead nigh on three years.”

Sin didn’t like the direction of their conversation, so he sought to distract her to more familiar and comfortable things. “I’m sorry about your father. How did he die?”

“It was an accident in battle. His horse threw him while they were under attack.”

Sin picked at his food. He had seen many men perish in such a manner. “I’m glad you weren’t there when it happened.”

“I wasn’t, but poor Dermot was. He hasn’t been the same since.”

“That must have been terrible for him.”

She nodded. “What of you? Were you there when your brother died?”

“Nay. I was in the Holy Land when it happened.”

“Was it an accident for him as well?”

Sin swallowed. “Nay, he killed himself.”

She gasped at the news and quickly crossed herself. “The poor lad. Why?”

“He felt this love you speak of, and sadly the woman he loved didn’t return his devotion, but rather she ran away with another of our brothers.”

“I can’t imagine anything worse.”

Sin could. In fact, he had lived through things much worse. But then, life was nothing if not pain.

They ate in silence for a time, while Callie studied her would-be husband. There was such an air of reserved sadness about him. One of hurt vulnerability, which made no sense to her. How could a man so strong be vulnerable?

A mighty oak can be felled by even the tiniest of insects when one allows them to continually gnaw at it
. She hadn’t thought about her mother’s saying in a very long time. And yet it was true.

She had a feeling there was much that gnawed at the man before her. Though he carried an air of aloofness, surely it bothered him that everyone he met either bore him fear or hatred.

When they finished eating, Sin escorted her to her room. Callie hesitated at the door. Come the morning, the two of them would be united, and she didn’t know much more about him now than she had before.

“Thank you, Sin, for humoring me this evening.”

Sin gave a subtle nod. He’d enjoyed this night
much more than he cared to admit. Normally he took his meals in the silence of his own room. The sound of her voice had been a pleasant change.

Before he knew what she was doing, she placed a tender hand to his face, rose up on her tiptoes and kissed his left cheek. His breath caught at the sensation of her feathery-light lips against his flesh. The warmth of her hand on him.

His body reacted instantly, hardening with desire for her, and he wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and make love to her for the rest of the night.

But he couldn’t seem to move. He was held immobile by her gentleness.

“Good night, Sin,” she breathed, leaving him.

He didn’t move until she’d stepped into her room and closed the door.

Sin stared at the door, his heart pounding as banished desires flooded him.

In the space of a few seconds, he remembered every time in his life he had ached for someone to hold him. Someone to just pretend they cared for him. Reality had forced him long ago to stop thinking of such things. To stop yearning for desires that would never come true.

And yet…

That hope was back. It was back and it was crippling in its ferocity.

Don’t
…

He knew better than to let himself be fooled. Foolish desires amounted to nothing but more pain. And he’d been dealt more than his fair share of that emotion.

Sooner or later, she would reject him. He held no
doubts. And it would hurt a lot less if he kept himself away from her.

He would take her home to the wild hills that had birthed her and then he would set her free to find a man she could love. A man with whom she had something in common. Someone who knew how to dance and how to sing.

Someone who knew how to love.

And yet even as the thought crossed his mind, a part of his heart ached at the thought of her with another man.

But it was meant to be. Sooner or later, he would have to let her go.

C
allie trembled with nervousness as Aelfa helped her dress for her wedding ceremony. This was the day she had waited for the whole of her life, and yet she dreaded it as well. Once she made her vow before God, there would be no going back.

From this day onward, she would be wife to a man she knew very little about. Wife to a man who wanted no children and nothing to do with her beloved Scotland. She shivered, hoping that this was what she was meant to do.

Henry had sent a beautiful gown of gold cloth that was trimmed in diamonds, pearls and rubies. His note had said he hoped his gift met with her approval. It was a gown fit for royalty. Even so, she had decided not to wear it. Not that she meant any slight to Henry or his thoughtfulness. But if she was to marry so far from home, she wanted her heritage with her.

Dressed in the nicest saffron kirtle she’d packed for her journey to her aunt’s hall, Callie had her father’s
dark blue, green and yellow plaid wrapped around her. Aelfa had plaited two small braids and draped them gently to rest atop her auburn curls, which were held into a semblance of order by pearl-tipped pins. Callie felt like some fairy creature standing there in her Highland finery.

“You are beautiful, milady.”

Callie smiled at the maid as Aelfa handed her the arrow-shaped pin for her plaid. “Thank you.”

A knock sounded on the door.

She turned to see Simon pushing it open. He paused as soon as he saw her and grinned wolfishly. “They await you below, my lady.”

Jamie opened the door wider and fell into the room from between Simon’s legs. The lad had taken up with Simon as of yesterday and she hadn’t seen much of him since.

Jamie’s eyes were wider than moons as he regarded her. “Gor, Caledonia, you look like Queen Maeve. I hope you’re not planning on eating your husband, too.”

She laughed. “Nay, but I might be tempted to stew up a bit of a scamp if he doesn’t behave.”

Jamie stuck his tongue out and ran back into the hallway.

Laughing at the incorrigible imp, she took a deep breath and faced Simon.

“Are you all right, milady?” he asked as he offered her his arm.

She placed her hand in the crook of his elbow, grateful for his presence to see her down to the chapel. “I’m not sure. In spite of his reputation, I don’t think Lord Sin is an evil man.”

“Nay, but he is a lost one.”

“Lost men can be found and brought home.”

“Aye, but only if they are willing. Either way, at least you will be in your own home in a matter days.”

Callie smiled at the thought. Home. She had missed it so terribly much. She’d been gone almost three months. Seana would have had her baby by now. Her brother Dermot had probably found another love, and Aster would no doubt be twice as gray from worrying over her and Jamie.

It would be good to see all of them again. Even if she had to marry an Englishman to get there.

He’s a good man
.

She believed that. It was the only thing that made this whole event tolerable. Well, that and the teasing man she’d glimpsed beneath the emotionless facade Sin showed to the world. For whatever reason they had been brought together, she trusted the Lord meant for her to do this. It was her faith that kept her going.

She allowed Simon to lead her to the king’s private chapel in the back of the castle, far away from the bustle of the great hall. Aelfa followed them, with Jamie in tow.

The chapel was bright and cheery as they entered. The stained-glass depictions of the Stations of the Cross twinkled over the cobblestone floor. Henry sat to one side of the nave on a small throne, while Sin and the priest waited by the altar.

Her husband still wore his black armor. In truth, she had yet to see him wear anything else. She wondered if he owned any other clothes.

There were no other people in the chapel. Callie swallowed as another wave of trepidation ran through
her. This was not how she’d dreamed her wedding would be. She’d always thought to be married in the large courtyard behind her home with her family and friends surrounding her. Aye, there would have been cheers and smiles aplenty, with good wishes and warm hugs.

A severe pang of homesickness washed over her. How she wished at least her uncle could be here with her. He had been like a second father to her and it pained her that he would miss this day. Closing her eyes, she imagined Aster’s kind face, his eyes shining with pride as he handed her over to her husband.

She faltered as she realized he would never smile at Sin. Indeed, it would take much doing for her to get him not to snarl and snap. The day would surely never come that her uncle would welcome an Englishman into his family.

Saints above, please let this be the way to peace
, she prayed.

Sin stiffened as he saw the pallor of Callie’s face and the way she closed her eyes as if unable to bear seeing him at the altar. He couldn’t blame her for it. Who wanted to wed the devil’s own?

Since the moment the priest had walked in, the man had done nothing but eye Sin warily. Every time he thought Sin was looking the other way, the priest would cross himself and whisper a prayer to St. Jude to forgive him for what he was doing to the
poor innocent lamb
who was to be sacrificed to Lucifer.

Sin glanced down at his damp surcoat, where the priest had “accidentally” spilled holy water on him. No doubt the man had expected him to shriek in pain and explode into a puff of smoke.

His lips twisted cynically as a sudden movement of his hand made the priest start.

As Callie drew near, Sin reached his hand out to her. She offered him a tenuous smile. She left Simon’s side and placed her tiny hand into his.

Sin paused at the softness of her touch. Her soft skin was a soothing balm to his warrior’s calluses. A wave of tenderness tore through him, that she would come to him like this. Trust him not to hurt her or her brother.

He was humbled by it.

She looked up, and he saw the promise in her eyes, and it shook him all the way to his frozen heart. Perhaps there could be hope for them after all.

He listened to the priest begin Mass, but the words meant nothing compared to the foreign emotions welling up inside him. He wanted this woman who held a warrior’s courage. This woman who could be so trusting of a man who knew nothing of trust.

She deserved so much more than this paltry ceremony. Sin knew very little of women, but the one thing he did know was how important such an event was to them. They spent endless hours of their lives with one another fantasizing over every detail.

His sister-in-law Maggie had been a basketful of nerves on her wedding day. He and his brother Lochlan had had their hands full trying to get her to the chapel on time. She’d babbled the entire way there telling them how much young women dreamed of their weddings. How she’d planned her day out carefully and if either one of them let anyone or anything botch it, she would bring down the wrath of plagues on both their heads.

He wished he could give Callie a day like that one had been. Maggie had been surrounded by her brothers and friends. Gifts and well wishes had been piled all around for them. There had been music and dancing, and all manner of happiness.

At least Henry had a reception supper planned for them, but they would be surrounded by strangers. Strangers who cared nothing for either one of them. His heart ached for what Callie was missing and he wished he could make it up to her.

He wanted—

“Sin!” Henry’s voice intruded on his wandering thoughts. “Have you a ring or not?”

Blinking, Sin glanced to the priest, who was staring at him expectantly. Callie’s brow was arched and he realized they must have been waiting several minutes for him to respond.

He reached into his purse and pulled out the small silver box. He’d spent hours at the jeweler’s yesterday trying to find something Caledonia would like.

The task had seemed simple enough at the onset, but the many different choices had confused him. Rings came in any variety of colors and sizes, and it had struck him just how little he knew of his wife.

Still, he had listened carefully to the short, pudgy man about what ladies chose and what most men purchased for wedding rings. Indeed, his ears had rung for hours afterward.

He’d never bought a gift for anyone before and he’d had no idea what Callie would prefer.

After an eternity of careful debate, he had found one he hoped was perfect….

Callie bit her lip as Sin placed the ring on her finger.
As she looked at it, tears filled her eyes. The dainty gold band was elegantly carved with roses and thistles, and the deep, dark green emerald shone even in the dim light of the chapel. The roses and thistles were the perfect blend of his English heritage and her Scots blood.

Better still, she remembered Simon asking after her favorite color. How kind of Sin to base his choice on that. And her mother had always said that emeralds were the stones of love. That they signified the unification of the heart and soul, and would bring eternal love to the one who wore it.

Her husband’s kindness truly knew no bounds.

Sin jerked as a tear fell onto his hand. Instinctively, he took the ring off her finger as remorse filled him.

He was no good at this sort of thing. A warrior through and through, he knew nothing of women and their trinkets. Leave it to him to bungle such an important moment.

“Forgive me, milady,” he said hoarsely. “I thought you would like it. I’ll get another—”

She stopped his words by laying her fingers to his lips. “It is the most beautiful ring I have ever seen. I only cry because I am touched by the thought you must have put into it. Thank you.”

Warmth flooded him. She smiled a smile that made his legs weak and his groin tight. She brushed her gentle fingers against his jaw and dropped her hand to his, then slid the ring back onto her finger.

Perhaps there was a chance for them after all…

Nay, Sin. Don’t even think that. Don’t think it at all. ’Tis an illusion. A fleeting moment. Sooner or later the truth will out and she will hate you
.

His heart heavy, he listened as the priest joined them together.

Once it was over, Henry led them from the room to the great hall, where a feast had been laid out. The hall was crowded with somber nobles who eyed Callie with pity and Sin with open hatred.

Sin paused as he regarded the cold room. Granted, no one had ever cared much for his presence, but this went beyond the normal reserve and disdain the courtiers showed him.

One of Henry’s marshals came forward. An older man in his late years, he wore an impeccable gray surcoat and had the look of a harbinger.

He bowed low before Henry and his guard. “Forgive me, Majesty, it seems Roger, the Earl of Warrington, was found murdered in his cell this morning.” The man’s suspicious gaze went to Sin. “His throat was cut.”

A mortified condemnation rippled through the crowd.

Sin went numb at the news. He heard Simon’s sharp intake of breath behind him and he felt Caledonia’s hand drop in temperature.

Convicted without a trial. How very typical.

He stared blankly at the crowd, tempted to hunch over and run about like a crazed animal, dragging his knuckles. It was, after all, what they expected of him.

“Were there any witnesses?” Henry asked.

Again the marshal’s gaze went to Sin. “None, Majesty. ’Tis as if a
phantom
had come and gone,” he said, using the epitaph most often applied to Sin’s crimes.

Against his common sense, Sin glanced to Callie. A
stern frown marred her face while she listened to Henry and the marshal speak.

When she locked gazes with Sin, he waited for her to condemn him as the others had. “He is the man who tried to kill you last night?”

“Indeed, madame.”

He felt her hand grow even colder. Worse, he felt it tremble.

His stomach drew tight. He would expect the others to think the worst of him, but for some reason it bothered him greatly that she would.

“We shall have to investigate this matter,” Henry said. “For now, we have a wedding—”

“Murderer!”

The word rang out across the hall.

Callie scanned the room’s occupants until she saw a woman around two-score-and-five behind the massive crowd. The courtiers parted, giving the unknown woman a pathway from the door to Sin.

Her face flushed and her dark brown eyes bright with tears, the noblewoman approached Sin with the quiet dignity of a queen. Her long, red dress was a stark contrast to the lady’s black hair and dark eyes. There was something oddly familiar about this stranger.

The woman stopped in front of Sin and gave him a glare of such loathing that Callie was amazed it didn’t cause him to disintegrate right before her eyes.

He didn’t move at all as he regarded the woman with the same contemptuous sneer.

“Damn you for killing my son. I wish you had died in the womb,” the noblewoman said cruelly. “Better I
should have killed myself than ever given birth to a monster such as you.”

Callie gasped as she realized this was Sin’s mother and it was his similarity to her that she had noted as the lady crossed the hall…

Which meant the man last night who had tried to kill him was his own brother. Callie’s legs went weak with the knowledge.

“Thank you, Mother,” Sin said stoically. “As always, I will cherish your well wishes.”

Her black eyes lethal, his mother slapped Sin hard across the face, laying his cheek open.

Still Sin didn’t move. He didn’t flinch. Not even when his mother rotated the ring around on her finger in a hateful gesture to let all know she had cut his cheek on purpose.

“I demand justice,” the woman cried, turning to Henry. “I want this bastard to pay for what he’s done.”

“You would condemn your own son, Countess?”

Tears ran down the lady’s cheeks as she fought against her sobs. “I have no son. My only son died by the hands of a filthy killer.” Raising her hands like claws, she rushed at Sin, who caught her by the forearms and held her back.

“I want you dead for it!” she shrieked in his face. “You’re despicable and vile. I wish to God I had killed you the very hour of your birth.”