Bradbury, Ray - SSC 10 (15 page)

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Authors: The Anthem Sprinters (and Other Antics) (v2.1)

BOOK: Bradbury, Ray - SSC 10
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Finn
We do!

The Old Man

Some
nights, we put a summer coat on one, a winter coat on
another of the racers.

Timulty
Or seat one chap in the fifth row, while the other
takes the third.

Finn

And
if a man turns terrible feverish swift, we add the sweetest
known burden of all—

The Young Man
Drink?

All
Ah
...
ah
...
ah
...

All laugh, mumble, move in to clap and pat the dear, knowledge
able boy.

The Old Man

What
else! Nolan! Run this in! Make
O'Gavin
take two
swigs,
big ones!
(Aside)
He's a
two-handicap
man.

nolan
runs through the door.

Nolan
Two it
is!

TlMULTY

While
Doone
here has already made his weight at
Heeber
Finn's.

Doone
(drinking from the bottle)
Even all!

Kelly

Go
on,
Doone
. Let our money be a light burden on you.
Let's
see you burst out that exit,
five minutes from now, victorious and
first.

Finn
Doone
! Inside!

doone
shakes hands all around. He waves to everyone as if going
on a long voyage, opens the door. Sweet music
flushes out about
him

he basks in it a moment, then plunges through
into dark
ness, gone. At which
point
nolan
bursts back out.

Nolan
(
waves
flask)
O'Gavin's
handicapped!

The Old Man

Fine!
Kelly, now, go check the contestants, be sure they sit opposite each other in
the fourth row, caps on, coats half buttoned,
scarves properly furled.

Kelly
(running)
It's
already done!

kelly
vanishes
back through in a surge of music of great ro
mance.

Finn
(checking
his watch)
In
two more minutes—

The Young Man
(innocently)
Post
Time?

Timulty
(with admiring affection)
You're
a dear lad.

Kelly
(bursting
through door)
All set! They're
ready!

Fogarty
(listening
at the door)

'
Tis
almost over, you can tell, toward the end of any
fillum
, the
music
has a way of getting out of hand!

He opens the door wide and nods in. Sure enough, the music is
in full heat now, surging all over the place. All
listen and nod,
eyes closed.

Timulty

Full orchestra and chorus behind the singing maid.
I must come tomorrow for the entirety.

Finn
(entranced)
What's
the tune?

The Old Man
Ah,
off with the tune! Lay the bets!

Finn
(recovering)
Right! Who's for
Doone
, who
O'Gavin
?

All
(hustling
about, waving money and paper)
Doone
!
A shilling for
O'Gavin
.
Doone
! Two says it's
Doone
!
Four on
O'Gavin
!

The Young Man
(holding out money)
O'Gavin
.

Finn
(shocked)
Without
having
seen
him?

The Young Man
(whispers)
A
dark horse.

TlMULTY

A brave choice.
Kelly, Nolan, inside as aisle
judges.
Watch sharp there's no jumping the
Finis.

In go
kelly
and
nolan,
happy as boys.

Finn
Make an
aisle now. Yank, you over here with me!

All rush to form a double line, one on either side of the exit.

TlMULTY

Fogarty,
lay
your ear to the door!

Fogarty
(does
so)
The
damn music is extra loud!

The Old Man
(sotto
voce
to
the young man)
It
will be over soon. Whoever's to die is dying this moment!

Fogarty
Louder
still! There!

He holds one door half wide. The last single chord of music
blasts out.

Finn
The grand
ta-ta
! By God!

The Young Man
(a
quiet exclamation)
They're
off!

Finn
Stand
aside! Clear the door!

Fogarty
(listens)
Here
they come!

Finn
Listen to
their feet!

The Old Man
Like
thunder it is!

We hear the feet rushing.

Finn
Come on,
O'Gavin
!

Timulty
Doone
!
Doone
!

All
Doone
!
O'Gavin
!
Doone
!
O'Gavin
!

The doors burst wide,
doone,
breathless,
plunges out alone.

The
winner!

Doone
(surprised)
By God, so I
am!

Finn

'
Tenshun
!
The National Anthem!

He holds the door wide. The men whip off their caps. The An
them speeds swiftly to its end.

The Young Man
(puzzled)
That
was quick. Did they leave something out?

Finn
What
didn't
they
!!

The Old Man

Over
the years, by some miracle or other, the Anthem has got
shorter and shorter.

Doone
Where's my competition?

All suddenly realize
doone
stands
alone, blinking back into the
cinema
dark, from which
nolan
and
kelly
emerge, bewildered.

The Old Man
Jesus,
you're right! Where's
O'Gavin
!

Nolan
The idiot didn't run out the wrong exit,
did he?

Doone
(calling into the dark)
O'Gavin
!?

Kelly
Could
he've
sprinted
into the Men's?

Finn
Now what
would he do there?

The Old Man
(snorts)
There's
a son of ignorant
Ireland
for you!
O'Gavin
!

Fogarty

Good
grief, maybe coming up the aisle he had a heart attack
and is lying there in the dark gasping his—

All

That's
it!

The men riot through the door,
the young man
last.

Nolan
Maybe he
broke his leg.

Kelly
Did you
bring the gun?

The Old Man
Ah, off with the gun!
O'Gavin
? Dear lad? How
is
it?

They mob around down, perhaps to the first row of the theatre,
where
they all peer at one man seated alone.

Nolan
O'Gavin
!

Finn

You
haven't
moved!

The Old Man

Why
are you
sittiri
there?

Finn
What's that
on his cheek?

Fogarty
{bends
close, peers)
A teardrop! A tear!

O'Gavin
{moans)
Ah, God!

Finn
O'Gavin
, are
ya
sick?

They all bend close.

O'Gavin

Ah,
God . . .

He rises slowly and turns, brushing a tear from his eye. He
shakes his head beatifically, eyes shut.

She
has the voice of an angel.

The Young Man
Angel?

O'Gavin
{nods back at the stage)
That
one up there, on the silver screen.

They all turn to stare at a silver screen that has come down
behind them, where Finn's pub once was.

The Young Man
Deanna
Durbin, does he mean?

O'Gavin
{blowing his nose)
The
dear dead voice of my grandmother—

TlMULTY

Your
grandma's behind!

The Young Man
(peering
at the screen)
Her
singing? Just
that
made
him forget
to ran?

O'Gavin

Just!
Just!
It would be sacrilege to
bound
from a
cinema after
a recital such as that
just heard! Might as well throw bombs at
a wedding or—

TlMULTY

You
could've at least
warned
us it was No Contest.

O'Gavin

How?
It crept over me in a divine sickness. That last bit she sang. "The Lovely
Isle of
Innisfree
," was it not,
Doone
?

Fogarty
What
else
did she sing?

The Old Man
(exasperated)

What
else?
He's just lost some of you a day's wages and you
ask what else she sang!

O'Gavin

Sure,
it's
money that runs the world. But it is music which
holds
down the friction.

Phil (c
voice
from the back of the theatre)
Hey!
What's going on down there!

Timulty
(aside to the Yank)
It's
the cinema projectionist—!

The Old Man
Hello,
Phil, darling! It's only the Team!

Finn

We've
a bit of a problem here, Phil, in ethics, not to say es
thetics.

The Old Man
(smiling
his grandest)
Yes, now, we wonder—could
you run the Anthem over?

Phil's Voice
Run
it
over?!

There is a rumble of protests from the winners, approval from
the losers.

O'Gavin
A
lovely
idea!

Timulty
It
is
not!
Doone
won fair and square!

The Old Man
An
Act of God incapacitated
O'Gavin
!

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