Breaking Shaun (55 page)

She gave Shaun a weak grin, but I could tell she was nervous. I was nervous for her.

For the next ten or fifteen minutes, we all helped count while Rachel pushed. Shaun fed her ice chips between each one. She looked more and more exhausted with each push, but she kept at it. The energy in the room was high when her final push came.

“Okay, Rachel, the head is out. Just one more push, and you’re done!” the doctor said from behind his mask.

Her eyes came to mine, and we held each other’s gaze. Her jaw clenched, and she pushed again. In the next second, I heard the loud cry of a tiny little baby, and Rachel’s body went limp with relief. Shaun and I both looked at his child, and we turned to smile at each other once we realized it was a girl.

Shaun cut the umbilical cord. Then, the nurses went to work and moved the baby to another table to clean and wrap her in a blanket. Shaun’s eyes followed them, and I took his hand in mine and squeezed it. The nurses knew Rachel didn’t want to know the sex of the baby, so all they said was that everything was fine and she’d done a great job.

Once the nurse had the baby wrapped tightly in a blanket, she motioned for Shaun to come over. He went across the room and delicately took his daughter into his arms for the first time. I stayed with Rachel and held her hand as I watched him.

Shaun looked at me, and the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen curled onto his lips before he looked down at the precious baby in his arms. He studied her face, and his eyes glossed over with tears as he moved one of his hands to slip a finger into her tiny little ones. She tightened her grip, and he wiggled his finger, smiling down at his daughter.

In that moment, I knew I’d made the right choice.

The night before I left New York, I made my decision. No matter how hard things might be with Shaun, I’d rather fight through them together than be alone. I wasn’t going to stand aside and lose the only real chance I’d ever had at being happy.

I was sitting at the bar in my sister’s kitchen, telling her all of this, as she poured each of us a glass of wine. Her fiancé, Seth, had gone out with his friends to give us some privacy.

She gave me a warm smile as she slid a glass toward me. “I knew you’d figure it out.”

I picked up my glass and paused with it in the air as I eyed her suspiciously. “What do you mean?”

Lili met my gaze as she lifted her glass and leisurely took a sip, making me wait for her response. “You deserve all of it, Nat. Friends, family, love, happiness—you should have all of it. After what Mom did and everything we went through, I know it’s hard to believe the good things when they happen. It’s hard to believe that people might actually love us enough to stay. But how will we ever know if we don’t try? What’s the point of living a life without hope?”

I smiled as I sat there, looking at my little sister. She was a grown woman now, and I was so proud of the person she’d become. Seeing her happy made every hard moment, every sacrifice I’d made, worth it…because I loved her.

Just as I was about to tell her, there was a knock at her front door.

“Must be the Chinese,” she muttered as she put her glass down before going to answer it.

I ran my hand through my hair as I thought about Shaun, wondering if he would still be waiting for me when I got back. I was lost in my own thoughts when Lili surprised me by calling my name.

Getting up from my stool, I made my way toward the door, and I froze when I saw Shaun standing in my sister’s doorway. He had a gray beanie on his head, and his hands were tucked into his black coat. When our eyes met, I could see the Shaun I remembered—the man who knew what he wanted and got it.

“Shaun, what are you—”

“I had to see you,” he said, interrupting me.

My sister stood between us, her head swiveling back and forth, as she realized what was going on.

“I’ll give you guys a minute,” she said, giving me a quick wink, before making her way back to the kitchen.

I stood there as Shaun’s eyes searched my face. I was still in shock that he had come all the way to New York to see me.

“Shaun, I—”

Taking a step forward, Shaun got closer, and I suddenly lost my train of thought.

“This past week has been hell. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t fucking breathe without you, Natalie. I want you in my life. I want to build a future with you…a family. Marry me.”

My mouth was hanging open, and my eyes were probably as wide as saucers, but I couldn’t help it. Shaun had just proposed—marriage.

“What? I mean…are you asking me to…”

Shaun chuckled a little at my expression and my loss for words. He took another step closer, and he laced his fingers through mine. “Well, technically, I didn’t ask.”

I’d said yes, of course.

Now, standing in that hospital room and watching Shaun hold his daughter, I knew I’d found my place, my purpose.

Reaching down to grab my camera, I took the lens cap off, but before I could lift it to take a picture, I heard Rachel call my name. Peering down at her, my chest tightened when I saw how alone she looked as the doctor and nurses worked to clean her up. Our eyes met as I let my camera fall back to my side. Taking her hand back in mine, I gave her a reassuring smile.

“Promise me that you’ll take care of the baby,” she whispered.

I nodded. “Don’t worry.” I smiled as I looked back over at Shaun.

She squeezed my hand tighter, and I turned back to look at her.

“That baby is going to need a mother, someone gentle but strong…like you. Promise me, you’ll do it. Promise me, you’ll give her a good life.”

“How did you…” I paused, realizing Rachel must have known it was a girl, either by her own intuition or she had seen for herself.

“I promise,” I said, holding her hand tighter in mine. “I promise.”

Rachel smiled as tears clouded her eyes. “Thank you.”

Just then, someone walked in the door. “Oh my God, Rachel. I’m sorry I’m late. Are you okay? How are you?”

I looked up to see a blonde standing on the other side of the bed. I guessed that she must be Rachel’s stepsister. Taking a step back, I gave Rachel one more smile before letting her fingers slip from mine.

Once the nurses got Shaun’s daughter ready, they told us they would take her to the nursery. Shaun had a lot of paperwork to fill out, including a birth certificate. We’d discussed different names for a girl, but I wasn’t sure what he’d decided on.

“What do you think about Hope?” Shaun asked as we held hands and made our way toward the waiting room.

I stopped walking and turned to face him, and his green eyes searched mine.

Smiling brightly at him, I squeezed his hand. “It’s perfect.”

I wasn’t sure how he’d found me behind all the walls I’d built around myself, but somehow, he had. Since the first night we’d met, Shaun had seen right through them, and he’d been breaking them down ever since. I guess I’d broken through his, too. For the first time in my life, someone saw and loved the real me, and now, he was giving me Hope.

One Year Later…

We were on our way to Hawaii for our wedding, and the entire family was coming with us. Natalie and I had been planning this trip for the past year. Hope was going to fly home with Asia and Marcus, and Natalie and I would be traveling the world for our honeymoon. Japan, Brazil, and Australia were just some of the stops we had planned. Leaving our daughter for so long was going to be hard, but I couldn’t wait to get Natalie alone and to experience our dream together.

I already had two surfboards strapped to the top of the car, waiting to come with us on the journey.

“Did you make sure to pack enough diapers?”

“Don’t worry, Killer. There are, like, ten in there, and the flight is only ten hours, so I’m sure we’ll be good.”

Natalie nodded as she pulled her camera bag onto her shoulder. She must have packed Hope’s entire wardrobe. The girl was only one, and her suitcase was heavier than mine.

“Did you talk to Asia? Are they at the airport?” Natalie asked as she took one more look around the house.

“Everyone is there and checked in already,” I told her as I hoisted Hope up further on my hip.

She looked up at me, and her big green eyes sparkled when she spotted the sunglasses on my head. My little girl loved sunglasses. I smiled at her before tilting my head down and letting her take them.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I think we’re ready.” Natalie rushed toward the door to grab another suitcase.

“Hey.”

She stopped with her hand on the doorknob and turned to face me, her beautiful eyes shining.

“We’ve got this.” I leaned down to give her a kiss.

She smiled against my lips before she whispered, “Yeah.”

I never could have known that one night at an art gallery would change my life forever or that a one-night stand would leave me with a beautiful daughter who had me wrapped around her tiny little finger. The things I’d once seen as mistakes had ended up being the best decisions of my life.

If someone were to ask me now what I would have done differently…I’d say,
Not a damn thing.

THE END