Brides of Idaho (14 page)

“You did farrier work?”

“Or whatever would bring in a few coins. Like train horses who had been ruined by mistreatment.”

“That blue roan wouldn’t be one of them, I suppose?”

“Yup. Pal, too. Horses can develop some very bad habits.”

“Just like people.” They searched each other’s eyes. He found himself going deep, into her hurt. “You rescue hurt horses because they remind you of yourself.”

Shutters blocked her feelings. Her eyes darkened. “It’s your turn.”

“Actually, becoming a preacher was almost natural. My grandfather was one. Several times as he grew older and was too weak to stand behind the pulpit, he asked me to do it. I guess you could say I inherited the job.”

“I expect you had a choice in the matter.”

“Don’t we always?” Matt had the same choices as Levi and had chosen the opposite.

Again, he and Glory looked at each other. Studied each other. Her brown eyes revealed wonder at his question as if the idea of a choice was new to her. “Most times our choices are driven by what others choose to do.”

He struggled to pull himself back from the pain and anger in her voice and in her eyes. If he didn’t step away mentally, he would pull her into his arms and hold her tight, promise he would never do anything to hurt her, always protect her. “Others do things that impact our lives… sometimes in a cruel way.”
Lord, keep me from hurting Glory.
“Seems to me we still have a choice about whether to let it make us bitter or whether to rise above it.”

She sucked in air hard. Blinked. Again shuttered her emotions. “Maybe so.”

The door banged open, sending a rush of cold, damp air across the room.

Glory sprang away from him, clutching her hands to her waist.

Joanna strode in, Mandy at her heels. “I hear the little one is sick.”

Glory nodded. “Burning up. I didn’t know what to do.” She tossed a glance over her shoulder at Levi. “None of us did.”

Did he detect regret in her gaze? Was it regret at their discussion being interrupted? Or regret at the choices flung into her life by others? He hoped it was a tiny bit of the former, even though he knew he must guard his feelings very carefully.

Joanna leaned over the child, pressed her hand to Emmy’s forehead.

Emmy stirred and moaned.

“Get me a basin of lukewarm water.”

Mandy hurried to do so.

“And a washcloth.”

Glory plucked one from the pile.

“You have to get the fever to break. Sponging her to cool her body is the only way I know.” She pushed the baggy nightgown out of the way and set to washing Emmy’s chest and legs, letting her skin dry in the warm air.

The adults hovered at the side of the bed as Joanna sponged Emmy over and over.

Thankfully, Jack crowded to the far edge of the bed and turned his back toward them, able to sleep through the disturbance.

Time ceased to exist for those watching Joanna work and waiting for her to declare Emmy was going to be okay.

Twice, Glory looked at Levi, her eyes wide with appeal. He nodded. And at her silent urging, prayed aloud for the fever to leave.

Suddenly Mandy straightened. “It’s stopped raining.”

They glanced at the window. Saw it was dark outside.

Joanna paused from her task. “Mandy, you’ll have to go back to the stopping house so people can bed down.”

Mandy hesitated.

“I’ll let you know as soon as Emmy is okay.”

“You won’t forget?”

Joanna spared her a quick look. “I won’t forget.”

Mandy slipped away.

“I can take over,” Glory said and edged Joanna aside. “You sit down for a while.”

Joanna looked about ready to argue.

“I’ll make tea,” Levi offered.

“Has anyone eaten?” Joanna, always concerned about caring for everyone.

Glory’s attention was on the child, which left Levi to answer Joanna. “We haven’t had time.”

Levi made tea and poured Joanna a cupful where she sat at the table. He offered to take Glory’s place so she could sit with her sister.

“I need to do this.”

Levi sat across from Joanna. Need? Why did she say it that way? As if it was her responsibility.

Joanna sipped her tea. “She can’t stand to see any living thing suffer without doing something.”

“She told me about the horses.”

“I tell her she’s taking care of her own hurts by helping them.”

Levi chuckled. “I said something similar.”

He and Joanna smiled silent understanding at each other.

“I’m right here,” Glory groused. “I can hear every word you say.”

Joanna and Levi grinned at each other. He couldn’t speak for Joanna, but he’d wanted Glory to hear every word.

Glory sat back on her heels and released a gust over her teeth. “I don’t think she’s so hot anymore.”

Joanna sprang to her side, ran her hands over Emmy’s body. “Her fever has broken. Thank You, God.”

“Amen,” Glory and Levi chorused and grinned at each other in shared joy.

Joanna pulled a sheet over Emmy. “She’ll have to be watched carefully to make sure the fever doesn’t return.”

“I’ll watch her,” Glory said.

Joanna studied Glory. Levi wondered if she would tell Glory it was inappropriate to stay here with him after dark.

Glory must have expected the same thing. “I can’t leave until I’m sure she’s okay.”

Joanna nodded. “I know. I understand. But I must get back to the stopping house.” She hesitated. “I’ll send Mandy back with supper. She can stay with you.” She hesitated and looked as if she wanted to say more then shook her head and ducked out the door.

Glory straigthened and met Levi’s look. The air between them grew still as if neither breathed.

He couldn’t say what she was thinking, but for himself he felt as if they shared a special moment, a special awareness of each other, of having shared a common concern and conquered it. He shifted his gaze to Emmy—their common concern. She lay peaceful, her color normal.

He brought his eyes back to Glory. She watched him, waiting.

He closed the distance between them until they were only inches apart. Everything in him wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her close. Let his heart thud against his chest in acceptance of his feelings. He reached out and caught a strand of hair from off her cheek. Silky. He curled it around his finger and tugged at it. Strong. Just like Glory. Tough and resilient. Yet fragile. She’d been hurt in the past, and if he wasn’t careful, he could very well hurt her yet again.

Sucking in every bit of self-control he could muster, he freed his finger from her hair and dropped his arm to his side. “Are you hungry?” A stupid question when his mind burgeoned with so many more demanding things, like what did she feel toward him?

“Now that you mention it, I suppose I am.” She spun away and went to the table, gathering up the cups used when they had tea. “Mandy will be back soon with food.”

Although he was hungry, he didn’t care about food. So many things crowded his heart and mind. Things he couldn’t voice. He forced forward the reminder of Matt in chains. Now in a tiny prison cell. Slowly, determinedly, he brought his vow into focus. For Matt, for his salvation, for his redemption, Levi would give up everything but service to God.

When Mandy returned, her arms full of food and other things Joanna thought they might need, Glory let herself draw in the first full breath she’d taken since Joanna left.

Why did Levi touch her and then pull back? Not that it mattered to her. It was strange, that was all. Reminded her of Big Gray, the gelding who shivered when she touched him.

Had Levi been hurt by something? That piqued her curiosity.

Mandy put a pot of stew on the stove and a plate of biscuits on the table. She lifted the lid off the pot and sniffed. “I’m hungry.”

The aroma of the stew filled the room, and Glory realized she was, too.

Jack sat up. “Is that food?”

Glory stared at the boy. Startled, she turned toward Levi and saw a matching expression.

Levi blinked. “Nothing will disturb that boy’s sleep but the smell of food.” He held Glory’s gaze as he laughed.

She laughed, too, her tension disappearing. She’d let her imagination and her innate wariness make her see things not there. Maybe she was the one like Big Gray.

The four of them sat at the tiny table, enjoying the food and laughing as Mandy told them of the near riot at the stopping house because the men had to wait while she prepared the room for sleeping.

Later, Jack crawled back into bed and fell asleep. Levi watched him in wonder. “You’d think he hadn’t slept in days.”

“When was the last time he slept in a bed?” Glory asked. “And apart from the unsettling night in the stopping house, when did he last sleep in a room with four walls? I’m guessing he feels safe for the first time in many a day.”

Levi continued to study the sleeping Jack. “Trusting us to take care of him.” He slowly faced Glory, a look of determination hardening his eyes.

She couldn’t pull away from that look. Could not think what it meant.

Mandy yawned loudly. “I know how Jack feels. I just want to curl up somewhere and sleep.”

Glory checked Emmy. “She’s still okay. Sleeping like a baby. Perhaps we should waken her and give her some broth.”

Levi sank to the edge of the bed and shook Emmy gently. “Wake up, little one.”

Emmy cracked open her eyes and allowed Levi to hold her upright while Glory spooned in the warm liquid. Soon her head lolled to one side, and Levi laid her down again.

Mandy grabbed a blanket and a pillow and settled in a corner. She was soon breathing deeply, though Glory knew she was a light sleeper. She would waken instantly and be completely alert if any sudden noise disturbed her.

She and Levi sat at the table. Glory tried to keep herself amused and her thoughts distracted by tracing the cracks on the tabletop.

“I had hoped to hear something about their father by now.” Levi’s voice was soft.

“It’s hard to find a man who doesn’t want to be found.”

“I can’t believe he would abandon the children at the side of the road. Not intentionally. Something must have happened.”

A thousand arguments sprang to her mind. But obviously he didn’t understand how leaving was easy for some people. That not everyone had someone to fall back on apart from brothers or sisters. And when they were as young as Jack and Emmy, that wasn’t much more than comfort. “You must have been grateful your grandparents took you in when your parents died.”

For a moment he didn’t answer, and she studied him. What she saw was not gratitude but regret.

“I appreciated having a home, but they were very strict. Our parents had allowed us a lot more freedom than our grandparents were prepared to give us.” He paused. “It was hard to adjust.”

“But you did.”

“I tried. It was harder for Matt. He was seventeen and thought he was an adult, had to answer to no one. The only reason he hung about was to make sure I would be okay. And then he left.”

“Did you see him again?”

“Off and on.”

The man must travel a lot. Not unlike Pa. And maybe for the same reasons, adventure but also escape from responsibility. “You miss him.”

“Yes. I’ll do anything to get him back.”

“What can you do? Like you said, he’s a man now. He makes his own choices.”

“I’m trusting God to change him.”

She studied that for a few minutes. “Does trusting come easy for you?”

A chuckle rumbled from his chest. “Not always. You work with mishandled horses, right?”

She nodded.

“How hard is it for them to learn to trust? And then how often and how quickly do they retreat if something frightens or threatens them?” He gave another deep-throated chuckle. “Guess I feel like one of those horses. I trust God, but every time something challenges it, I have to learn to trust all over.”

“It’s hard for a mistreated horse to learn to trust at all.”

The way he looked at her, she knew he understood she wasn’t talking solely about animals. “So what do you do?”

“I just keep proving they can trust me. I just keep being kind. Giving them oats. That sort of thing.”

“Not unlike how God treats us.”

She checked Emmy as she contemplated his words. Liked how they made her feel about God. “I’m trying to learn to trust.” The child’s skin felt a normal temperature, and she returned to her chair.

“Me, too.”

As they sat in the yellow light, the quiet around them as cozy as a blanket, it was easy to think of him as honest, a real preacher. She let herself be lulled by the atmosphere as they talked about things they did as children, about horses they had known, and various other topics. They took turns checking on Emmy and sighed with relief when her fever didn’t return.

The sky lightened.

“It’s morning.” Levi sounded as surprised as she felt. It was impossible they had spent the whole night talking.

Glory stared out the window. Something had changed in her feelings toward him. She felt as if she had tasted the oats he’d offered. Wanted more. But she wasn’t sure she even trusted him. Was he who and what he said he was? She tried to reconcile her doubts with the things she’d seen—his prayers, the way he took care of those in need, his own struggles with trust….