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Authors: Leonie Norrington

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BOOK: Brigid Lucy Needs A Best Friend
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‘I’m the Wizard Merlin,’ Biddy says in a croaky wizard voice. ‘You have come to ask my advice,’ she tells Matilda. ‘Now, ask me a question.’

Matilda sits up straight and keeps her mouth closed like a big girl.

‘Will I tell you your future?’ Biddy asks.

Matilda nods.

Biddy puts the torch under her chin. Her face goes old and wrinkly again. She waves her wand over the crystal ball, rolls her eyes back and sings, ‘
Garrlim
.
Gooolim
. Ambidextrous. Pyrotechnics.’

When Matilda sees Biddy’s eyes disappear, her eyes get bigger and bigger. But she doesn’t cry. She cuddles her imaginary cat and acts as brave as she can.

‘Crystal ball,’ Biddy says in her croaky wizard’s voice, ‘what does the future hold for Isolde?’

Biddy listens while the crystal ball tells her all its secrets.

Then she takes the torch away and tells Matilda, ‘You’re going to be a
mummy
.’

Matilda is so relieved to see Biddy’s normal face again she smiles. ‘Can I be the Easter Bunny?’

‘Not a bunny, silly,’ Biddy says. ‘A Mummy like Mum. You can’t be the Easter Bunny because he’s not real life.’

‘The Easter Bunny is so real,’ Matilda says her face creasing up.

‘He is not,’ Biddy says. ‘The only things that are real are the tooth fairies and dragons and fairies and ghosts.’

Then, she stands up, lifting her arms up to be a ghost, ‘
Ohhhhh
,’ and floats around the room with the torch under her chin. ‘I’m a ghost.’

Matilda screams, ‘Stop it, Biddy!’

But Biddy can’t hear her because ghosts don’t have ears.

So Matilda jumps up and screams, ‘Mummy!’ louder, bashing on the door. Then opening it and running down the hall. ‘Biddy’s
scaring
me!’

‘Oh, Bumble Bee’s Bubble. I think I’m in trouble,’ Biddy says. ‘Do I really look scary?’ She looks in the mirror and puts the torch under her chin. And she does! She looks wickedly, monstrously scary. I love Biddy’s scary face way past infinity and impossibility put together. Especially when she screws up her mouth and
growls
. This is too much fun.

Until—‘Brigid Lucy.’ Mum opens the door. ‘What did you do to Matilda?’

Biddy quickly pulls the torch away from her face and says, ‘Nothing.’

But it is too late, Mum has already seen her wicked wizard face. ‘Brigid Lucy!’ she yells. ‘What-on-earth-are-you-doing?’ and snatches the torch from her, pulling Biddy’s wizard’s cape off. ‘What-is-wrong-with-you? Why did you frighten Matilda? And why have you messed your room up again?’

‘I was just playing best friends,’ Biddy explains. ‘Matilda wanted to play!’

But Mum doesn’t listen. She pulls the curtains back and turns our wizard cave into a boring old bedroom again. ‘Brigid Lucy,’ she says, ‘you-are-
incorrigible
.’ (That is an adult word meaning very very naughty.) ‘You can stay in this room till your father comes home.’

Biddy lies on her bed sucking her thumb. I try to get her to read or play. But she closes her eyes. I feel all
alone
like Biddy isn’t my friend anymore. So I go and sit on the windowsill and watch the clouds turn pink and purple as the sun goes down and all the people come home from work.

Chapter three

manners and niceness

After hours and hours, nearly one whole day, Dad comes home. Then Mum and Dad come to Biddy’s room. Biddy sits up, pulls her thumb out and tucks it under her pillow so they won’t tell her off about being too-old-to-suck-your-thumb.

Mum tells Dad about Biddy being rude. And messing up her room. Twice! And then
deliberately
scaring Matilda ‘
out-of-her-wits
’.

Which is not true. We didn’t deliberately scare Matilda. We were just being scary and… Anyway, Mum should have been looking after Matilda, not falling asleep and making us look after her when we are only kids.

But Mum doesn’t care. She says that Biddy is ‘the-eldest’ and needs to be ‘a-help’ rather than ‘a-hindrance’ (which is like a fence I think). And ‘stop-going-out-of-her-way-to-be-naughty’.

‘I didn’t go out of my way,’ Biddy says. ‘I was––––’

‘Brigid Lucy!’ Mum yells. Then she takes a deep breath and says quietly, ‘You have to learn that there are
consequences
for your actions.’

‘But I wouldn’t have played pirates if you didn’t send me to my room,’ Biddy says. ‘That’s the consequence of room-sending.’

‘Brigid,’ Mum says, telling Biddy to ‘be-quiet’.

But Biddy stands up and keeps talking. ‘And I wouldn’t have played Crystal Balls except I wasn’t allowed to play with my toys. That’s the consequence of no-playing-with-toys.’

‘Brigid Lucy!’ Mum yells. Then her face goes all red and her eyes go watery like she is going to
cry
.

Dad tries to put his arm around Mum to say, ‘It’s okay.’

But she doesn’t listen. She stands up and walks out the door.

Dad looks at Biddy.

Biddy looks at Dad.

Dad says, ‘Brigid!’ as if he is going to tell her off.

But then he stops.

‘Brigid,’ he starts again. ‘Mum is…’ then he runs out of words again.

He takes a deep breath and thinks hard.

‘Is Mum crying?’ Biddy asks, her voice going
croaky
. And thinking about Mum crying makes Biddy’s eyes fill up with tears and a big knot fills her throat.

Dad takes another deep breath, then he says all in a rush, ‘We will not go to the Botanic Gardens on Friday if you don’t start behaving.’

‘You can’t!’ I yell. ‘That is not fair. We are going to play
imagination
games at the Botanic Gardens.’

‘No Botanic Gardens?’ Biddy starts to cry. ‘What about my best friend Princess Isolde on her white horse and the
frisbee
?’ Tears pour down her cheeks.

‘Biddy, don’t cry,’ Dad says. And, ‘Okay we will go.’ And, ‘Biddy, listen to me.’ He holds Biddy’s face in his hands. ‘We can go to the Botanic Gardens but you have to be good. You have to help Mum.’

Biddy stops crying. ‘I do. I will,’ she says wiping the tears away. ‘I’ll help Mum with her jobs.’

Dad lifts his eyebrows.

‘I could take little Ellen to the park,’ Biddy says.

Dad shakes his head.

‘What if I walk to the shop and buy the milk and bread (and perhaps a very small ice-cream).’

‘No,’ Dad says shaking his head harder.

‘Mum would never let me go down the street on my own, would she?’ Biddy agrees. ‘But I could do it
surreptitious
.’ (That’s an adult word meaning sneakily.)

‘Brigid!’ Dad says it like a warning.

‘Okay,’ Biddy says. ‘It has to be something Mum wants me to do.’ She pulls her mouth sideways to think better.

‘Manners and niceness,’ I tell her. ‘Those are the only things that Mum likes.’

‘I could be nice to Matilda,’ Biddy says.

Dad nods his head.

‘I could
play
with baby Ellen when Mum is busy.’

Dad nods his head harder.

‘And I could smile.’ Biddy practises smiling. ‘And,’ she says, ‘I will be very, very
polite
.’

Dad nods his head, holding his smile down in the corners of his mouth.

Biddy stands up tall and does a pretend smile. Then she practises saying, ‘Please.’ Then, ‘Thank you.’ And, ‘Excuse me.’ And finally, she
burps
and says, ‘Pardon me.’

Dad laughs big and loud. ‘It’s a deal then,’ he says, taking hold of Biddy’s hand. ‘You will be good and help Mum.’ He shakes her hand as he says, ‘And I will take you to the Botanic Gardens on Friday.’

Why is he shaking her hand? Maybe when they shake hands it binds their words to help them become
true
.

Dad stands up. ‘Now let’s go and get our dinner.’

‘Yes, Daddy,’ Biddy says. Then she says, ‘Thank you,’ and walks with him down the hall to the dinner table with a very
polite
smile on her face.

Chapter four

Dad does it wrong

Biddy is so good and polite at dinner. She doesn’t talk with her mouth full or
kick
Matilda under the table. She doesn’t fiddle, or jump up and down or fill her mouth too full.

But Mum and Dad don’t notice. Mum just says, ‘Stop-playing-with-your-food,’ when Biddy is only trying to find a bit of food she likes.

There is nothing
yummy
to eat, so she asks politely, ‘Could I please have fish and chips?’

‘Brigid, stop it!’ Mum says. ‘You are being too silly for words.’

‘“Silly” is a word,’ Biddy says.

Which is true. But Dad doesn’t think so.

‘Brigid Lucy,’ he says getting up. ‘Come and help me stack the dishwasher!’

‘Stack the dishwasher? Yes, Biddy, do,’ I yell. I
adore
the dishwasher. She is like a special magical helper. Like, you know, the elves in the shoemaker story. How they made the poor shoemaker’s shoes for him? The dishwasher is exactly the same, except she can only wash dishes.

Me and Biddy are the best helpers. Dad rinses the plates and Biddy puts them between the wires. The knives and forks have their own little special cage.

‘Am I being a
good
girl, Dad?’ Biddy asks.

‘Yes, you are,’ Dad says. ‘Put the sharp knives downwards so you don’t cut yourself.’

When we are finished, Dad says, ‘Good helping, Biddy,’ as if he is a teacher.

Then he reaches up to get the special dishwashing powder from the high-up
POISON—DO NOT TOUCH
cupboard.

All the magic get-well potions that Biddy’s granny makes and all the poison cleaning bottles have to go up high in there because little Ellen and Matilda might drink them and die
dead
.

Dad pours a little teeny bit of powder into the pocket in the door of the dishwasher. Then he closes the door.

‘That is not enough,’ I say. ‘That tiny bit of powder can’t wash all those dishes.’

But Dad doesn’t care. He turns the dial and… clunk! He tells the magical dishwashing machine to wash the dishes with not enough powder. It’s
wrong
. Dad often does things wrong. Like, when he baths us, he doesn’t use soap. He just lets us play in the water till the dirt soaks off.

BOOK: Brigid Lucy Needs A Best Friend
12.81Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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