Broken (3 page)

Seriously? That’s a first. Usually, a slew of insults are thrown at me. “You’re really okay with this?”

His arms wrap around me. “Absolutely. I don’t want you to do anything that you don’t want to do.”

My head slides up his chest to look at him. “Thank you, Levi.”

At this point, I’m pretty sure he is going to lead me back to the party so he can find someone else to hook up with. Instead
, he pulls me to the ground. I land on top of him. He gently rolls me over so my back hits the grass. Levi lays himself down on the grass and slides his hands behind his head. I mimic him not sure what to do.

We both look up at the sky and remain quiet. It seems like there are a million stars twinkling above us. “Beautiful,” Levi mutters.

“Yeah. The stars are so pretty tonight,” I reply.

Levi turns his head to look at me, “I wasn’t t
alking about the stars.” Oh. I wish I knew how to respond. No one has ever paid a compliment to me. “You are beautiful, Lena. I’m so glad I got to know you this year.”

I break eye contact with him and look back at the stars. I feel like crying, not because I’m sad, because I’m happy. “I’m glad we got the chance to have class together. It’s been a blast.”

We both focus on the stars again. “What are you doing after we graduate?”

“I’m going to art school for photography. You?”

Levi lets out a snort, “My old man has enrolled me in his Alma Mater. When I’m done my education there, I will work for him.”

Levi doesn’t sound too happy about his future. “It’s not what you want?”

“Not at all.”

“Why don’t you just tell your dad that you don’t want this?” I ask.

“You don’t tell my dad anything. He just orders you to do what he says. Levi…join this sport. Levi…get straight A’s. Levi…don’t hang out with this crowd. Levi…make friends with this person. It’s fucking exhausting,” Levi gives me a snapshot of what his life is really like.

“I’m sorry things with your dad are bad.” I really am. I know what it’s like to have a sucky parent.

Levi shrugs it off, “Hey, it could be worse.” It sure could be worse for Levi. His mother isn’t pimping herself out to guys for money. Quickly, he takes my hand, “Lena, I didn’t mean…”

I interrupt him, “No…don’t. Don’t mention anything about my mom. Tonight has been perfect or as close to perfect as it gets for me. It’s been like a mental vacation for me. Don’t take that away from me. At least for tonight.”

“Wish granted.”

It’s that simple. Levi doesn’t mention my mom again. But, we talk about everything under the sun. I know his favorite color is black. He loves Sushi.
Being forced to go to college put a cramp in his plans to backpack through Europe. Ultimately, Levi is an amazing person.

“What about you Lena? I know you are going to be a great photographer some day. What’s your passion?”

“I want to photograph musicians. There is something so beautiful about both arts.
Our senses are engaged when we see art and hear art. It just blows my mind.” This is a subject in which I can talk about forever.

“Wow. Kind
of beats my backpacking across Europe adventure. You have always been so passionate.” He acts like he has known me forever.

“How would you know? We only really met this year in class.”

“I have been observing you from afar a very long time, Lena. I’m a patient person.” It’s the way he says it that makes me believe it’s true. 

Holy gosh. He’s noticed me. “You have?”

“Yep.”

“How long?”

“Since I was like eleven years old.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Then, it hits me. Our worlds are different. It’s not like he
can tell all of his uppity friends he’s dating a hooker’s daughter. My face falls, “Never mind.”

Levi’s fingers entwine wi
th mine. “Lena, I know school is tough for you. I’m sorry you have to deal with that.”

Looking him dead in the eye, I say, “I don’t care what people think of me, Levi. I care about what you think. I know what my mom does is gross. But, I don’t do those things.”

“Didn’t think you did. I can tell what kind of girl you are Lena.”

“What kind of girl am I, Levi?”

“You’re pure in every way. Your heart is pure. Your soul is pure. Your body is pure.”

Smiling to myself in the dark I muster up the courage to ask, “Levi, come Monday, what happens?”

“We go to class as always. I can’t promise I will behave myself in the dark room.” He’s flirting with me.

             
As we gaze up at the sky, I think of a song by Incubus. ‘The sky resembles a back lit canopy with holes punched in it’. And, in this moment, I, Lena Prioli, am happy.

***

Monday morning couldn’t come fast enough.
Even worse, sixth period couldn’t come fast enough. I have never been this eager to attend school in my entire life. Now, I had a reason to enjoy it. And, that reason is Levi.

             
I get to class early hoping Levi would do the same. Unfortunately, he’s not in his seat yet. I prepare our project work so we can get a head start. As I’m laying out the printing tongs, processing trays, and remaining items, I feel him come up behind me. “You started without me.”

             
I’m grinning from ear to ear. “I figured we could start with the prints we took last Thursday. The dark room is ours.”

             
He gets it. A smirk adorns his face making his dimples show. “Let’s get started. Shall we?”

             
We hurry in to the dark room with our supplies and set them down. My back is facing Levi as I work. Each one of his arms boxes me in. I feel his breath on my neck, then his lips. In feather like touches, his lips graze the thin skin on my neckline.

             
Too quickly, he removes his lips from my skin. “I’ve thought about that all weekend.”

             
I’m hopeful, “You thought about me?”

             
“After my party, how could I not?”

             
He didn’t get very far with me sexually. What could he possibly have thought about all weekend? “I just thought that maybe you might have been a little turned off since I am a little shy in the hooking up area.”

             
“Lena, I already told you. I’m not going to do anything to you that you don’t want me to do.”

             
I breathe a sigh of relief. “Okay.”

             
“Is there anything you want me to do?” He moves in closer.

             
Yes! Sweet baby, I want him to do so much. Right now, I want him to kiss me. I want his tongue down my throat. I calm myself down. “I like when you kiss me. Will you please kiss me, Levi?”

             
“Wish granted.” His lips drop to mine. In no time his tongue is exploring my mouth. We take turns discovering each other’s lips. I feel guilty because we really should get some work done. But, his mouth feels so good against mine. I let myself get carried away.

             
His hands are on my waist kneading the skin through my shirt. I can tell he wants to move them up. I break away from his kiss, breathless. “Levi, I want you to touch me.”

             
I’m expecting him to say, ‘wish granted’. Instead, his hands fly to my breasts massaging them fervently. His moans are echoing through my mouth as he kisses me. Control is about to be completely lost. I love that he is reacting this way to my body and me.

             
The five-minute bell rings tearing us out of our frenzy. Damn it. Pulling himself from me, he takes a minute to catch his breath. “Being a gentleman around you is going to be harder than I thought.”

             
“Just be you, Levi. I’m good with that.”

             
He nods and begins to gather the supplies we’ve blatantly ignored. I help him clean our area. We leave the dark room together.

             
Since, our hands are full with supplies, I can’t hold his hand. He walks slightly ahead of me and quickly puts everything back where it belongs. I don’t know what I expect. I guess I am hoping he will ask to walk me to my next class or if I have plans during the week. But, he doesn’t. He just walks out of the classroom.

             
I leave to get to my next class with a cloud of confusion hanging above me. My phone buzzes, so I retrieve it from my pocket. It’s a text from Levi.

             
‘Sorry I punked out on you. I can’t be late for my next class,’ he texts.

             
He more than punked out on me but I cut him a break. I text back, ‘No problem.’

             
‘Want to go out with me Friday night?’

             
He’s really asking me out. ‘Yes. Where?’

             
‘It’s a surprise. Ur going to love it.’

             
‘Looking forward to it.’ I tell him.

             
‘Have a great day, Lena’

             
‘U to
o
’

             
My first thought is that I have to get Kaite to help me get ready. My second thought is that he will probably want to pick me up at my house. I have to find a way to meet him wherever he is going to take me. I don’t want any mama drama.

             
I text Kaite and let her know everything. Although a hallway separates us, I swear I hear her squeal when she receives my text. I smile to myself as I look down at her response. I accidently bump in to someone. It is times like these I curse the invention of walking and texting.

             
It’s Brad, Levi’s best friend. “Watch where you are going. Whore.”

             
Normally, I would have a quit witted response prepared. This time, I keep quiet because I don’t want it to get back to Levi.

             
Apparently, Brad is waiting for my reply. I try to walk past him but he jumps in front of me. He’s so much larger than me, so I know for a fact I can’t pass. “Please excuse me.”

             
Brad comes as close as he can get to me. I don’t let him see that his size intimidates me. The doof continues to block me from passing. My eyes make contact with his blue eyes. I don’t show fear. “Please let me pass, Brad.”

             
He rakes his hand through his blonde cropped hair. “No.”

             
I huff in disappointment, “Let. Me. Pass. Brad.”

             
I can hardly wait for his response. “We can work this out. How about you make use of that pretty, little mouth of yours and suck it?”

             
Brad is a disgusting, vile guy. Most girls look past his barbaric characteristics because he’s good looking. I see right through his Abercrombie good looks. He’s an ugly person on the inside. “Brad, I’m not a receptacle for your penis. Try someone else. There are plenty of girls who are more than happy to suck whatever you got down there.”

             
“I know. But, I want you to do it. What do you say? Name your price. You know I’m good for it. I’ve got plenty of money.” Brad continues berating me in the middle of the hallway. Eventually, he draws a crowd, including Levi.

             
“I’m not in that line of work. Let me go.” I’m trying to remain emotionally calm. Levi witnessing this isn’t helping.

             
“Come on. Like mother, like daughter. You’re the spitting image of your mom…midnight locks…perfect, white skin… crystal, blue eyes. Don’t tell me she hasn’t been pimping you out. She’d be a fool not to. Look at all of the money she would be missing out on.”

             
I can’t believe he said that. “Sorry to disappoint you. I’m not on the market.” Again, I try to push pass him.

             
He grabs my arm, squeezing it, holding me in place. “You think I don’t know what you are, Lena? You can hide under all that black clothing and the piercing in your nose. You’re the basic, run of the mill, slut.”

             
Tears burn behind my eyes. I have no choice but to take the verbal abuse that is coming at me as I struggle to break free from Brad’s grip.

             
“Enough, Brad. Let her go.” I hear Levi in the distance. I can’t bring myself to look at him because I’m so embarrassed. “C’mon. We have to get to class anyway. One more late report and Coach won’t let us play. Let her go.”

             
Brad loosens his grip and studies Levi. Levi doesn’t appear to be overly upset that his friend manhandled me, but he did get Brad to let go of my arm. “This isn’t over, Goth whore. We’ll have our time together. Trust me.”

             
This time, Levi pushes Brad forward to get him away from me. “Go. Now.”

             
As they move forward and pass me, Levi looks at me. He’s sad. I can see it. His bright blue eyes change to a stormy, greyish color. I break the contact between us because I don’t want to draw more attention to the situation. I breathe in and breathe out to begin walking to my next class.

             
I slump down in my seat waiting for my Economics class to begin. My phone buzzes and a text from Levi appears, ‘U ok?’

             
Realistically, Levi didn’t have anything to do with what happened with Brad. In my mind, I envisioned Levi coming to my rescue by slaying the beast that is Brad. Didn’t happen. So, I’m ticked. ‘Fine.’

             
‘He’s a jerk.’

             
‘Yet, he is your bestie.’

             
‘U blaming me?’

             
‘No. Just upset. Talk later.’

             
‘Lena, I’m sorry.’

             
‘Fine.’

***

             
School did not go the way I planned today. The only highlight was my make-out session in the dark room. To make matters worse, I see an unknown car in my driveway. Mom is working…great… a freaking fabulous end to a fabulous day.

             
I enter the house quietly. Lord knows I don’t want to disturb the customer. I make my way back to my bedroom, throw myself on my bed and pop in my headphones. Silverstein’s ‘Worlds Apart’ fills my ears with joy.

             
My cellphone rings. Levi’s face pops up on the screen. I toy with not answering. I answer because for some reason I just can’t seem to resist him.

             
“So, you answered,” he states the obvious.

             
I’m honest with him. “Yeah. But I thought for a second that I might not want to.”

             
“You’re mad.” He senses my frosty tone.

             
“I’m not mad. To be honest, I had a shitty day, Levi. So, sorry I’m not the usual chipper Lena.” I sulk and strangle a pillow.

             
I hear him sigh. “Lena…look…my relationship with Brad is complicated.”

             
I interrupt because I’m bored of this excuse already. “Sounds like a Facebook status. And…I always thought it was a queer statement for someone to use. Relationships are black and white. Either you’re in one or you’re not. If things are not going well, you are still in a relationship. You’re just working on it.”

             
“I’d like to change my relationship status with Brad. We are friends. I don’t like him when he’s an asshole. But, we’re friends.” At least he is being honest with me.

             
“Levi, what do you want me to say? You can be friends with whomever you want. But, I don’t like it when your friends put their hands on me and call me a whore.”

             
“I don’t like it either. I should have done more. I’m sorry,” Levi apologizes. “I don’t know why I didn’t stop him sooner.”

             
I know the answer to this already. Deep down, I know that Levi wants to keep us a secret. “I know why. You’re ashamed to be seen with the whore’s daughter.”

             
“Lena,” he starts.

             
“No, Levi. I’ve dealt with this my whole life. I’ve seen the signs before. The only one who has ever stuck by me is Kaite. My mom is my mom. I can’t change that. But, that’s not me. It’s not fair to be persecuted for my mom’s mistakes,” I confess. “I like you, Levi. I always have. But, why don’t we quit while we’re ahead. We’ve shared a few kisses. It’s not like we had something real.”

             
“It’s real for me, Lena. Don’t give up now. I just got to know you better. I want to know more. Don’t do this,” he pleads.

             
I think for a minute. I’ve denied myself the opportunity for anyone to get close to me my entire life, except for Kaite. What if I deny Levi and regret it down the road? After all, we are both leaving for college and art school in less than three months. I hesitate, “I don’t know, Levi.”

             
“I will make this up to you. I swear. Trust me,” he promises.

             
“Okay. But, if Brad so much as looks at me crooked, I’m done. He scared me.” Brad still scares me.

             
He exhales, “He won’t scare you ever again. I promise you. Will you allow me to take you out on Friday, like we planned?”

             
I’m weary of Levi’s promises. However, I want him. So, I accept his invite. “Sure.”