Broken Promises (5 page)

She glanced away from the narrow wooden rungs swaying in front of her and was calmed by the patient confidence in Jasper’s deep blue eyes. “I suppose it will be much faster to travel this way,” she said, resigned.

“An extra day can’t make that much difference, Callie.” The lines at the corners of his eyes stretched taut, as did the pained grooves in his forehead.

“No. I can do this.” At least her husband wasn’t going to use this complication as another excuse to try and force her to remain behind. She looked up the length of the ladder once more and counted silently. Only thirty rungs.

He moved around to the other side of it, reaching out to hold the ropes steady with his gloved hands as he looked between the crossbars, into her eyes. “Then up you go. It will be fine, but don’t forget that I’ll be right here to catch you if you fall.”

Leaning forward, she pressed a quick hard kiss to his cool lips, ignoring the silent, watchful lieutenant waiting for them to board. “If I fall and you try to catch me, you’re the one who’s going to be hurt when I all but crush you.”

“Then I guess you had better not fall, or neither one of us will be able to do Black’s bidding and find his dangerous deserter.”

“I doubt you’ve ever done anyone’s
bidding.
”

“Only yours, my love.” Those tempting lips turned up in a teasing grin, making her melt inside. “It helps when you’re naked in my arms. I’ll gladly do whatever wicked thing you desire in the heat of passion.”

She smiled. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

He reached through the space in the ladder and curled his hand around the base of her neck, pulling her close for another kiss. This one was longer, deeper, and Callie sighed heavily when he finally let her go.

He certainly hadn’t hidden the fact that he hated this entire situation, but she never really doubted he would stand by her, even though her demand to come along warred with his need to ensure her safety. For a moment, she let her fear fall away to soak up the warmth of that confidence. Not long ago she thought she’d never be able to feel like this again. Secure. Safe. Strong. But it was amazing what love could do, how much of a force forgiveness could be.

Grasping the slim wooden crosspiece in front of her, she took a deep breath and started to climb. She wanted to race up the ladder and be done with it, but that would be impossible, not to mention foolish. She would surely lose her footing. The wind had picked up, which would make the climb even more difficult. As much as Jasper promised to catch her, she didn’t want to test his ability to actually do so. Nor did she want to test the nanites’ ability to heal her—the same organisms that might be slowly but surely failing her even now.

And so every step was measured, careful. When she was almost halfway up the ladder, the airship bobbed above her and Callie’s fingers tightened on the rung until she feared it would snap in her hands.

With a muttered prayer, she turned off the loud thoughts and forced herself to put her fears from her mind. She focused only on what was right in front of her, alternating between looking up as she reached for the next step and peering below in order to see exactly where she was putting her feet, since those heavy limbs gave her no sensory feedback to gauge their position.

Jasper remained on the ground, holding the rope ladder as steady as possible, but the higher she got, the more the air currents pushed her around. It hadn’t felt so windy when she was on the ground. Heights had never been her favorite thing, even before the night she’d been forced to hang outside a window by one arm from a rope tied out of bedsheets as the building had burned down around her.

This was different. It wasn’t a bitterly cold winter’s night, and the rope was unlikely to snap and send her tumbling to the ground. No, this time her footing was solid—at least reasonably so—and it was a sunny morning with only a few wispy clouds hanging in the sky over the airship. The breeze held only the fleeting memory of a long, hard winter. She could feel the bite of it in her cheeks, and the wind brought a tear to her good eye, but slashes of green and brown covered the landscape instead of the brutal, unrelenting white of snow.

Suddenly, she was struck with blinding light. It was as if her pupils had dilated so wide all the sensory information poured in without any filter to manage it, too quickly for her brain to process.

One hand slipped. She scrambled for purchase even while the blinding continued. It was so disconcerting she couldn’t be sure if the phenomenon was affecting her good eye, her mechanical eye, or both, and the sensation of being unbalanced quickly made her queasy. She gasped, unable to see for the jagged spears of light stabbing her eyes, and in her distraction she wasn’t prepared for the sudden dip of the airship.

The foot she’d been lifting missed the next step, the toe of her boot slipping just short at the same time the ladder pitched to the side with the motion of the airship and left her hanging on with only one hand. She swung like a doomed fish caught on the line.

She blinked furiously before clamping her eyes tightly shut. Even then, her brain was still seeing lightning bolts. “Please, please, please,” she begged in a whisper of desperation and confusion.

After a long moment, the flashes came fewer and farther between. She opened her eyes and could see once more, although the airship floating above her was fuzzy, like looking through thick spectacles.

She glanced up and remembered being in this exact same position that night at the clinic. Hanging by one hand, seeing the airships circling above her. She’d known then she was seconds from falling and refused to let it happen. That had been the moment. The moment she’d consciously chosen life over death.

Life would win out again today. And every day that she was given a choice.

“Callie!” Jasper’s alarmed shout reached her and she realized he must have been yelling for quite some time.

“I’m okay,” she called, although she wasn’t very certain of that.

Scrabbling to reclaim her grip with both hands and reposition herself, it was impossible to see where to put her feet now that she was dangling by only her arms.

“Why does this always happen to me?” she muttered, taking deep breaths to keep from panicking.

“You’re all right, Callie. Hang on. Just take your time.”

“I can’t feel where the ladder is to get my feet back on the rungs,” she yelled down. Her heart raced as the ship dipped again, a little less violently this time.

Once her swaying slowed, Jasper called up to guide her. “It’s right between your legs. Just lift your left knee and—a little more to the left. That’s it. There you go, you’ve got it again.”

She trusted him implicitly and immediately rested her weight on her left leg, pushing herself up and sighing in relief at the sensation of stability beneath her. A glance down and she was able to shuffle her right foot onto the next step up, then paused as another soft gust of wind sent her rocking.

Jasper continued to send encouragement from the ground as Callie forcibly lifted each foot and continued up. After what seemed like hours instead of only a few tense minutes, she glanced all the way up at her destination instead of just to the next rung in the ladder. She was only a few feet from the large trapdoor leading into the airship. It had been pulled open at some point during her climb.

Inside the cabin, someone was standing off to the side of the opening, but the shadows kept his features hidden. She saw only a pair of canvas pants tucked into heavy black boots much like her own.

And then he knelt on one knee with slow, precise movements, and leaned out with his arm outstretched to her.

“Patrick,” she gasped as his face broke the shadows, and he smiled down at her.

“Take my hand, my lady,” he called.

She climbed the last two rungs before reaching up to let him help her inside, then immediately turned back to see Jasper climbing the ladder quickly and easily after her, their bag slung over his shoulder. In moments, he’d stepped inside the airship as well and she let out a soft breath, glad that was over. Jasper greeted Patrick and clapped him on the shoulder.

Once the lieutenant climbed aboard, Patrick and Jasper pulled up the ladder and then closed the hatch. The lieutenant moved to the other end of the cabin and reached for a lever.

“What is that?” she asked.

“The tether keeping the ship in place. I’m releasing it so we can be on our way.” He pulled on it, and she felt the ship bob slightly as if she were standing on the deck of a small dinghy riding the gentle waves of a country lake.

“How long before we arrive in Manchester?”

The man moved toward the cockpit door. “It shouldn’t be more than three or four hours. If you’ll excuse me, I must assist the captain.” He nodded and disappeared inside.

She turned to Patrick, glad to see him looking much healthier than he had in the hospital in Manchester some months ago, although there were deep circles around his eyes and he was still too thin. Then, he’d been recovering from the surgery that had given him a pair of new legs similar to her own. She hadn’t wanted to leave until he’d completely recovered, but his mother had arrived and he hadn’t needed support from her, a virtual stranger, any longer.

“With three or four hours’ travel time to kill, you should be able to tell us what you’re doing here,” said Jasper.

“I’ve been asked to join you in Manchester.”

“You were only released from the hospital two months ago, were you not?” Jasper spread his legs shoulder length apart. He looked just like a pirate. She watched him with a little jealousy as he seemed to have no problem adjusting his stance to the soft floating of the airship, while both she and Patrick, who had difficulty feeling the movement naturally with their artificial limbs, were forced to brace themselves. She held onto a beam in the center of the cabin, and Patrick had his hand flat against the plank wall. “It seems unlikely Dr. Helmholtz would need to reevaluate your progress so soon.”

So Jasper had the same suspicions. How much of the truth had Patrick been told about the degeneration issue? Or would he be kept in the dark right up until the time the doctor and General Black considered him dangerous?

The young man’s smile faltered with uncertainty. “I, ah—”

Callie hissed a harsh breath. “He got to you, didn’t he?” Anger burned in her blood. He’d been brought into Dr. Helmholtz’s clinic after suffering a terrible accident that destroyed both his legs. The traumatized youth had retaliated by breaking as much crockery and throwing as many books and hairbrushes at the nurses as he could find.

She’d easily seen that his raging temper tantrums were an attempt to conceal his overwhelming fear and had tried to ease his mind by sharing her own story with him. But as much as she’d tried to help him through it, Patrick had done even more to help her. He’d given her something to focus on besides her own anger and pain. Helping him through his surgery had given her the strength and courage to accept her own changed circumstances. “General Black promised he would leave you out of his plots and schemes—”

“My lady—”

Jasper put a hand on her arm and she spun to face him with fists clenched, fighting the tears threatening to spill from her good eye.

“He promised, Jasper. He swore to me—to both of us—that he wouldn’t get Patrick involved in any more of his dangerous, covert military—”

He sighed. “Are you surprised that he lied?”

“But, Lady Carlisle,” Patrick interrupted, “are you saying that
you
are the reason I was relieved of duty? When I learned just before my release from the hospital that the general was discharging me from duty, I begged him to reconsider.”

Callie refused to flinch at the obvious resentment in his tone, but she couldn’t ignore the guilt that stung the back of her throat. “Oh Patrick, why? It isn’t safe for you to stay with the general.”

“My family depends upon my wages from the War Office. If he hadn’t reconsidered, it would have been back to the workhouse for me and my ma. With respect, my lady, forcing General Black to let me go was crossing the line. You had no right.”

Callie swallowed, facing up to her mistake. “You’re right, and I apologize. I never should have intruded. The last thing I wanted was to see you sent to one of those smoke-and-iron death traps.” Yes, she’d felt responsible for him, but she shouldn’t have tried meddling with his future in that way—especially after fighting Jasper’s attempts to make decisions for her. She’d not only affected Patrick’s livelihood, but that of his whole family. “All I can say is that after what you’d already suffered because of General Black, I couldn’t bear for him to get his claws into you again.”

“If I’d followed the general’s orders, I probably never would have been hurt in the first place.”

“You could have come to us. We would have welcomed you and your family into our home. You know that.”

His tone hardened. “Forgive me, Lady Carlisle. But the O’Donnells don’t take charity from anyone. We make our own way, on our own merits.” The strength and pride in his clenched jaw was unmistakable. It made her heart ache until she almost couldn’t stand it.

She was no longer looking at the same damaged boy of sixteen who’d been brought into Dr. Helmholtz’s clinic, but at a young man who’d come through that pain with dignity and strength, who’d learned just how hard and unrelenting the world could be. This was a man who would always choose the more difficult path because it was the only way he would know he strode on the
right
path.

Jasper’s hand fell on her shoulder, and when she glanced up at him she knew her anguish and regret showed in her face. He shook his head very slightly. She understood. It wouldn’t do any good to argue and plead, and might only succeed in making Patrick more defensive.

“Just know that should you ever need anything from us, you have only to ask.” Jasper’s voice held the wisdom and experience of a military colonel who’d been responsible for the lives of young men just like Patrick for years. For once she was glad for that experience, even though she used to resent it because it had taken her husband from her side and put him in danger.