Bucking Bear (Pounding Hearts #3) (7 page)

“
O
h
. My. Fucking.
God
,” my best friend, Mandy, gasps into the phone after I get done telling her about my night with Max.

It’s early afternoon and Hope is out with grandma, shopping. I have to work this evening so after putting away laundry and picking up around the house I’m resting up. After the workout Max gave me last night, if I don’t nap or save up my energy, I’m going to be dead on my feet tonight during rush.

There’s a long, quiet pause as Mandy digests all that I told her.

It’s been three days since I’ve talked to Mandy. I haven’t seen or heard from her since our night at the club. But it seems like we’ve both had a crazy weekend full of hot sex and pregnancy scares.

After listening to her spill her guts about getting back together with her ex-boyfriend, Brett—who’s also her sweetheart from high school and Max’s best friend—I spilled it all. I just had to get it out and tell someone.

I told her about waking up and not remembering how I got into Max’s bed. I told her about Carson and the crap he tried to pull, and my fear that he ruined what small chance I had with Max.

Then I gushed about how amazing Max is, and how much I like him.

Seriously, I really,
really
fucking like him.

And I told her how close Max and I came to screwing without protection. I think that last bit is what stunned her speechless.

“Mandy?” I prod and she starts laughing.

“So he’s hung like a horse, eh?” she asks, voice bubbly with her laughter.

And it’s my turn to gasp. “Seriously? After all of that that’s what you really want to know?”

Mandy laughs again and it sounds like she’s busting a gut over there. “Yeah, especially because I remember how much you used to complain about Carson’s cocktail weenie back in high school.”

“I did not!” I immediately and vehemently deny. I so wouldn’t do that… but after thinking about it for a moment I’m not so certain. “Did I?”

I vaguely recall complaining about Carson back then, definitely remember not being able to reach an orgasm with him because he was so quick…

Mandy squeals. “You so did. Remember, we used to say he puts the
wee
in weenie.”

“Oh my god, we did,” I groan with realization. “We were such immature bitches.”

Seriously, this is the father of my daughter we’re talking about here, but back then I guess I was bitter about how things were playing out. Making fun of Carson was just a way of letting out some steam.

“Were?” Mandy snorts. “More like we still are.”

“Only when I’m talking to you.”

“That’s right,” she says and I just know she’s smirking into her phone. “I bring out the best in you.”

I can’t argue with her there so I just sigh into the phone.

I’ve known Mandy since preschool and she’s always been more like a sister to me than a best friend. Even when she moved out to California we talked on the phone every day without fail. And when she moved back, we didn’t have to waste any time catching up. Between Skype, texts, and phone calls it was almost like she was never gone.

Almost.

“So, are you and Max dating or just fuck buddies?”

“Um,” I reply, a little stumped on that one. “I’m not sure if we’re anything.”

“You mean after all of that you don’t know?”

I stare into my bedroom mirror and lift my shirt. The hickey he left on my breast is still there, a dark splotch beside my nipple. He said he was marking what was
his
. Yet, I don’t know where I stand with him. Does he want to see me again? Right after our amazing sex I would have said yes.

But, “He was really quiet when he dropped me off. I think having to drive me home so early irritated him or something.”

Probably made him realize how inconvenient hooking up with a single mom can be.

Now that I’ve slept on it, and thought about it all morning, plus the fact I’ve yet to hear from him—no phones calls, no texts, no nothing—I’m thinking everything Max said and did was just in the heat of the moment.

I’m not getting my hopes up, dammit. I’ve already been there and done that with Carson.

“Oh, screw that. If he doesn’t call you soon I’m going to kick his ass.”

I laugh, remembering I told her the very same thing in regards to Brett not too long ago.

“Or… I can always ask Brett if he wants to go on a double date with you two.”

I groan and ask her to, “Please don’t do that, please.”

“Why not?” she asks trying but failing to sound innocent.

“Because I don’t want you or Brett trying to pressure him to date me. I want him to date me because he wants to date me.”

“Pfft, how could he not want to? You’re like the hottest bitch I know. If I were into girls I’d so date you.”

“Yeah,” I chuckle, swallowing back all the valid reasons for Max not wanting to date me. Like all the responsibilities and inconveniences that come with me—such as ending the night early and having my ex forever in the picture. And just say, “I’d date me too.”

“That’s right,” Mandy says, sounding pleased with my answer. “So does Friday night work for you?”

“No, dammit.”

“Saturday?”

“Mandy,
please
don’t do that to me,” I beg. “Please.”

“Argh,” Mandy says and I can just picture her throwing her hands up in the air. But she’s stubborn dammit, always has been. Once she gets something in her head it can be hard for her to let it go. “How about we just get together and hang out, do something casual? ”

Now I’m the one saying, “Argh,” and throwing my hands in the air.

“I really want to hang with you,” she whines and I feel a little guilty for shooting her down. “I can invite a bunch of other people if you want me to so it’s not a double date.”

“Like the other ring girls?” I ask and immediately want to kick myself. Yeah, that sounds like fun, inviting along all the hot girls so Max can compare them to me side by side.

“Yeah… Though I don’t want to go clubbing, and I probably shouldn’t be drinking alcohol…”

“Oh, well, in that case—“ I start to say but she interrupts me.

“Let me talk to Brett, I’m sure he’ll know of something.”

Argh. I really don’t feel like arguing with her until I’m blue in the face so I give up and sigh, “Okay,” in defeat.

Mandy squeals with happiness. Girl loves getting her way.

Before she can get too excited, I remind her, “But I still gotta ask my mom and dad to babysit. They might have plans.”

It’s not likely though. My parents rarely turn down a chance to have Hope all to themselves. They take immense joy in being the “fun” kind of grandparents. They’ll probably take her to the park and load her up on sugar.

“Okay,” Mandy says happily, knowing just as well as I do that it’s pretty much a done deal. “I’ll call you later with more details. Right now, though, I gotta run.”

“Okay, later…
bitch
,” I smirk. Hope isn’t around so I can be immature-high-school-Grace for another minute without having to stuff money into the swear jar.

“Later, bitch,” Mandy laughs and hangs up.

It’s just something silly from high school we like to do. For whatever reason calling each other bitches was just fun, like we were owning the word.

Walking over to my closet, I start to riffle through my wardrobe, already thinking about what I want to wear. If the other ring girls do show up, should I even try to compete? Maybe I should just dress down so I don’t look desperate…

My phone rings and I answer it without looking, thinking it’s Mandy calling me back. She probably forgot something.

“What do you want now, bitch?” I ask, putting extra emphasis on the
bitch
part.

“What the fuck, Grace?” Carson snaps and I drop my phone in shock.

“Fuck! I’m sorry!” I yell, hoping he can hear me over himself. He’s cursing up a storm as I bend down to pick my phone off the floor. “Seriously, I thought you were Mandy,” I explain.

Straightening, I hold my phone away from my ear and keep apologizing, insisting that I don’t think he’s a bitch until his loud, angry cursing calms down.

“I hope you don’t talk about me like that in front of our daughter,” Carson says angrily but calmer.

On the verge of tears after all the venom he just spewed at me, I reassure him, “No, never. I would never talk like that in front of her.”

“I’ve heard her say that word before and I was wondering where she learned it…”

I want to deny it and say she didn’t learn it from me, but I can’t be entirely sure. After she repeated it once after listening in on Mandy and me Skyping just before she turned two years old, we’ve been very, very careful. But maybe after these couple of years she remembers.

Fuck, between accidentally calling Carson a bitch and knowing he’s heard Hope use the word, I seriously feel like a horrible mother.

I don’t know what to say. I can neither deny nor accept responsibility for Hope’s cussing so there’s this long, awkward pause.

“Are you still there?” he asks, probably thinking I hung up.

“Yes,” I sigh and slump down on the edge of my bed, waiting for him to bring up the reason for his call.

I don’t know how to talk to him. I have so much anger when it comes to him. Not just for the way he’s hurt me but for the shitty way he’s treated her since she’s been born. But I’ve tried to let it go for her sake. We all make mistakes. We all do dumb shit when we’re younger. Lord knows I’ve done more than my share.

I just don’t understand how he could walk away from her.

I don’t understand how he could convince himself she was better off with me struggling to provide for her on my own while he went off to better himself—for her. Like hell did he go to college and party it up for her. He bettered himself for himself. And now that he’s back and I took him to court for child support, he’s forcing his way into her life for… what?

That’s what I can’t figure out.

The only reason I can think of is that he’s had a change of heart. Perhaps there’s remorse on his part. Regret.

So I go out of my way to be nice. I go out of my way to be agreeable and flexible. He tells me he needs me to pick her up without giving me notice, I pick her up. He tells me he needs me to drop her off at an earlier time, I drop her off. He needs to switch weekends; I switch the weekends. I won’t be what keeps him from her, even if it’s not fair to me. Even if I have to cancel every plan I make and just sit by the phone waiting for the call. If he can’t step in and be a father, that’s all on him. I’m giving him every chance possible.

So I wait for him to tell me when and how he wants his next visit, and I sure as hell don’t expect him to ask me, “Are you busy this weekend?”

Huh? That’s a first. And this weekend isn’t his weekend either.

“I’m going out Friday night, and Saturday I have to work,” I answer, wondering—and worrying—why he cares.

“So you’re free Sunday?”

“Yes. Do you want me to drop Hope off Sunday? I can always drop her off Friday before I go out, or Saturday before work.”

“No, this isn’t my weekend. You can drop her off at our usual time. Can I swing by Sunday and pick you up?”

“Uh…” I draw out, dumbfounded. “Why do you want to pick me up?”

“I want to take you out.”

“Why?!” I ask a little too incredulously and slap my hand over my mouth. Holding the phone away from my ear, I take a deep breath in and out of my nose, trying not to freak out.

What does he want now? How does he plan to fuck up my life now?

Carson clears his throat and then says slowly, too carefully. “I would like to apologize for my behavior Saturday. It was unacceptable.”

Did I really just hear that? Or am I just imagining what I want to hear?

“Grace?” he asks when I don’t respond.

“I accept your apology,” I blurt out. “No need to pick me up.” I’ll forgive him for what he did, for the sake of Hope, but I won’t forget it.

“I would still like to take you out. I’d like to talk about Hope.”

“Um…”

I really don’t want to go out with him, it’s already a strain trying to be civil with him when I drop Hope off or when we’re talking on the phone. I can’t imagine trying to keep it up for an hour or more.

“I have a lot to apologize for, Grace.”

Dammit. There he goes getting my hopes up. Has he had an epiphany? Is this the first step of him getting his shit together and being a better father for her?

“Okay,” I agree my shoulders slumping as I drop down to my bed. I didn’t realize I had stood up was pacing and I’m pretty sure I almost wore a hole into my floor. “What time do you want to pick me up?” I ask, already feeling a knot of uneasiness forming in the pit of my stomach.

“How about sevenish?”

“Okay,” I agree tentatively. It’s kind of late for a school night but hopefully whatever he wants to talk about won’t take long.

“I’ll make a reservation at Donasto’s.”

Oh joy, going out to eat at a restaurant is my favorite thing to do on my nights off.
Not.

“Okay,” I agree again. I suppose it’s better to have a table between us than nothing at all.

“Sunday, at seven. I’ll pick you up at your parent’s house?”

I can’t quite bring myself to say
sounds good
because, fuck, it so doesn’t sound good. Instead I just say, “Yep,” for confirmation.

“Have a good night, Grace,” he says but the way he says it I get the feeling there’s more going on here.

“Bye Carson,” I quickly say and hang up before he can say more.

Fuck, that was awkward.

I’m half tempted to ring Mandy up and tell her what just happened but I’ve got to start getting ready for work. Flipping the ringer off my phone, I set it down on the bed and walk over to my closet. Pulling down my uniform, I pause for a moment. I don’t know how it happened but after years of spending my nights at home, it seems within the space of an hour my entire weekend is full.

M
y arms are
lead by the time I finish up with the gym. I pushed them hard today, I have to. I am not going for the mister perfect award or anything but I need the raw brute strength to pound the shit out of Wade.

Somewhere in between repetitions while bench pressing, a new angle to the fight has taken form for me. I want to not only win this one, but to also put a stop to any thoughts that I will not stand up or go in for a grapple. I figured I would want to do my usual, but I want to make sure I am not just preparing for what they expect me to do.

Shaking my head as I sit before a red light, I try to visualize the plans taking a different shape. It’s hard to change this close to a fight. It makes me question my own sanity. But fuck it, one life and all that motivational shit.

Heading into the dojo I hear shouts of hellos from all the people there. It’s like I’m Norm from
Cheers
. Except I don’t say
“Hey everybody.”
Most times I just nod.

I think they have some pool going on, betting when I’ll start talking to everyone like some gabby girl. Doubt I will ever do that shit.

In the locker room Brett is changing into his gear.

Nodding my head, I ask, “How’s things going?”

“Fucking awesome!” He grins as he sits down to tie his shoes. “What about you and Britney?”

“Her name’s Grace,” I say smiling. “And why the fuck did you never mention her to me?”

I snap a hand out at his shoulder, giving it a hard thump.

“Ow, what the fuck, you giant freak of nature… Honestly, she didn’t cross my mind. She was a part of Mandy, ya know?”

I look at him sideways. “Still couldn’t tell a brother you knew a fucking clone of my dream woman?”

He laughs and punches me back on my shoulder. Fucking lightweight, didn’t even hurt. “Dude, she better be much more than a clone to you. Mandy will eat you alive if you hurt Grace.”

“Yeah, I know that,” I sigh and lean back against the lockers. “I don’t think she has anything to worry about with me hurting Grace.”

“Really?” He asks as he watches me for a long time. He is studying me and I figure it’s my turn to get all gossipy.

“Yeah. She’s fucking awesome and her kid is just as cool.”

“Yeah, Mandy was kinda freaked out when she saw you two. She was worried you wouldn’t want a chick around that has a kid.”

“Hope’s not an issue, I like her. Her dad though…”

“Carson, right? Yeah he was a bit of a schmuck back when I knew him. From what I gather things haven’t changed much though.”

Shaking my head, I say, “No, they haven’t.”

Changing the subject, I ask, “You got some time to work on arm locks with me?”

Nodding his head, he stands up when I do. “Yeah, sure.”

M
y legs
and arms are fucking dead when I walk out of the dojo, but I feel really fucking good after going over ground game technique. I haven’t been doing it nearly enough and it makes me feel like I am on a better level of surety. I want to be more widespread with my skills than I have been focusing on.

Tomorrow I will be starting hard and heavy with takedown defense. Going to start with the basics and work my way up. I know it all, but I want to reinforce those long ago lessons.

Looking down at my phone, I think of Grace.

Damn, I need to see her again already. Taking her home last night sucked, and it still sucks not getting to keep her all night long. But until things are different, I sure as fuck won’t be complaining. I send her a quick text:

I
start
up the Escalade and back out of the parking spot. She doesn’t text me for a few minutes as I start driving over towards the restaurant.

G
race
: I so just blushed the entire time I took someone’s order. You are corrupting me, now I have all kinds of dirty thoughts in my head.

I
stop
at a red light and fire off a quick text. Before I start driving again, I set the phone down in the seat beside me to focus on driving.

M
e
: Tell me all about them when I get there.

S
he texts
me back twice as I am heading over there but I don’t have the chance to look at the screen. The drive is pretty quick though.

Walking into the restaurant, I see DeeDee again and smile down to her. She is a cute little flighty thing. “You here to see Grace?”

Nodding my head, I follow her as she leads me to my girl’s section. Sitting down in the booth, I check my phone and see what Grace text me back with.

G
race
: Wait, what?

G
race comes
out to my table, her cheeks flushed a beautiful red. She is smiling though and I like that about her. She smiles and when she does the whole world lights up with her.

She has that kind loving motherly smile sometimes, it makes me warm somewhere in my stomach. Then she has that horny arousal smile that makes my cock instantly stick straight up. Right now she’s smiling like she’s both horny and embarrassed and it’s making me horny as fuck thinking about why she is smiling that way.

She takes my order of steaks, potatoes and lots of veggies. With an eyebrow raised, she asks, “Where are you going to put all that?”

“I gotta keep up with you, babe, so I need all the energy I can get. You were insatiable,” I say with a wink.

Grace turns an even brighter red as she glances around us, making sure no one hear. Thankfully it’s after rush and the section is relatively empty. “You…That’s…”

I grin and she huffs out a deep breath. “You… were… you… ugh!”

Stomping away, I grin at her wiggling backside. Yeah, I probably shouldn’t but I let out a low wolf whistle. She turns around to face me and I swear if looks could kill…

She turns back around and disappears behind the server’s station.

I chuckle to myself as I look down at my phone. I swipe through all the email that has been piling up the last couple of days. Most of it is junk shit from companies I don’t even know about, but one is from my sports agent telling me he has something he wants to talk about and to call him as soon as I get a chance.

Scrolling through the directory, I find my agent’s number and dial him.

“Max! How’s it going man?”

“Not bad, Colt, not bad at all. I just saw your email. What’s up?”

“I wanted to feel you out about something I just got an email about. You ever heard of the Give-A-Dream foundation?”

I lean back into the booth. “Sure, everyone has, haven’t they? What’s up? You need me to get Reaper to sponsor something? I know his school would love to do things with them.”

“Well, actually, this one is more of a personal thing.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Looks like a kid has been following you pretty heavily the past four years. The dad loves MMA and passed it down to the kid. Apparently you are their favorite fighter, they watch your fights religiously.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Well, fuck. That’s a new one. I haven’t heard from any fans before. I’m a name now, I know that, but not the kind of name like Reaper, or shit, even that little fucker Brett.

“Anyways, Max, the kid isn’t doing well. Been going down pretty fast due to Leukemia, and when Give-A-Dream found out that she wanted to meet you they sent an email to me.”

Glancing at the watch on my wrist, I ask, “What time? I’m eating dinner now but I can be ready in about a half—”

Colt interrupts with a laugh. “Not that fast Max, there is still some hope. I meant more like in the next couple of weeks.”

“Well, shit. Yeah, I’ll do it. Whenever, wherever. Do I need to fly anywhere?”

“Yeah, that was a concern of mine. She lives across the country in a small town outside of Cincinnati.”

“That ain’t bad, I can get a ticket off the travel sites pretty quick for that.”

“You really want to go, don’t you?” Colt asks and I can tell he is genuinely pleased with how I am acting. Though I don’t know why he would think I would do anything different. Then again he has never approached me with something like this before.

“Yeah, like I have anything that is so important I can’t put it on hold to go help out.”

“Alright, good. Let me talk to my assistant, Whitney, and get all the information together. We’ll call you back soon with the details. Sound good?”

I see Grace walking towards me and my mind is instantly back to how beautiful she is. I say into the phone, “Yeah, Colt, sounds good. If they need anything at all, no matter what, just tell me.”

“Alright, cool. Have a good night, Max.”

“You too, Colt.”

I smile as Grace sits down my plates of food, and then her one. I wasn’t kidding when I said I was a growing boy. I eat this much normally. I have to keep up my body’s need of proteins and vitamins.

We eat in a companionable silence as she takes her lunch with me. I am finishing off my second steak when I ask, “So I was wondering if you and Hope would want to go to the zoo Friday? They have a pretty cool lion exhibit going on there.”

She smiles as she asks tentatively, “Really? You want to take us both out?”

“Well yeah… Why? Don’t you want to go? Hope likes zoos from what I remember her telling me.”

“Oh yeah, she does. It’s just that… I wasn’t...” she doesn’t finish what she was saying.

“Wasn’t what, Grace?”

“I wasn’t sure it wasn’t just a night of…”

I interrupt with a big grin. “Mind blowing sex?”

She whispers, “Stop! Someone is going to think…”

“What, that you’re my girl? I seem to remember marking you on that amazing brea—”

“One more word and I will so not let you do that again!” she whisper hisses.

I grin. “I seem to remember as soon as I touch you close to anywhere fun you don’t have much care in what I do.”

“Shush. I am being serious… Do you really consider me your girl?”

“Of course.”

She sits back with a big smile on her face. “Oh.”

“So what about Friday?”

“When do you want to go?”

“Whenever you two are ready.”

“Hope has school in the morning. How about noonish?”

Nodding my head, I say, “That sounds good to me.”

We finish dinner and I talk her into walking me out to the Escalade.

She stands on the walkway in front of my SUV as I wrap my arms around her. She is much taller this way but still shorter than I am. I kiss her mouth tenderly as I feel her arms wrap around my neck. She doesn’t instigate the passion I can feel us both holding back, but it is quite evident that we are both want the same thing.

When I pull back, I kiss her on the forehead and hold her tight for a moment.

“Call me tonight if you get bored, or I will call you tomorrow,” I say.

“Okay,” She smiles at me.

Turning away, she starts for the door. I can’t help that my hand reaches out quickly and gooses her asscheek. Damn, that thing is firm and sexy.

“Eeek!” she blurts out and turns to face me.

“Did you just pinch my butt?”

“Yep.”

Rolling her eyes, she turns back around and wiggles it really hard as she walks inside. I can’t help but watch her walk the entire time. She has one fine ass.