Changes (5 page)

“You alright?” Gary asked as he came through the door. His heavy military style boots clunked on the floor as he moved, and the leather gun belt he wore around his waist creaked some as he put his thumbs in between it and his shirt. He loved both of those sounds. They both sounded powerful. He respected both of them, and he knew others did as well.

“I’m fine Gary, how are you?” Rachel sighed and puffed some.
Why is he here? What the hell do I have to do to get him to understand?
Gary bothered her in more ways than one. She should’ve never gone out with him, she knew that now.

“I heard you scream?” He walked to her and stopped directly beside her. The sounds of his boots smacked and the leather creaked. His dark blue uniform swayed around his muscular build. He tried hard to get it to move just right. He liked it when people were afraid of him. It helped him in so many ways.

She sighed again, watching him walk towards her. “The night watchman scared me some. It was nothing.” She shrugged.
It’s none of your damn business anyway!
She almost said but didn’t. Sometimes, she seemed too polite for her own good.

“The new one?” He came closer. Damn, she looked so beautiful, and smelled so nice. He loved all of it, and everything about her, if not more.

She nodded. “Yeah. He was checking to see why the lights were on.”

“Okay.” He nodded, brushing his blonde hair from his face with the back of his hand. He crossed his heavy massive arms over his chest. Doing so, he made his whole body sound almost like it groaned. He then took a deep breath. Now that he had his answer, it was time to get back to more pressing issues. “What are you doing tonight when you’re done?” He smiled.

Everything he did do made her sigh again.
Why the hell did I ever go out with you? What the hell was I thinking?
The reason she did would forever haunt her soul. “I’m going to be awhile. Besides,” She turned and walked to the opposite side of the counter away from him. “I told you before; I don’t date people that I work with.”
Especially you Gary! Especially a jerk like you.

“Too late.” He laughed as he crossed the distance between them and came directly to her side. Being this close to her made him feel special. It made him feel right. All those feelings made him think they were right together. Feeling it, it seemed like just a matter of time before she knew it as well.

Watching him come closer to her again, made her sigh. She rarely hated anyone, but that all seemed to change now. She knew she hated him. There was no doubt about that. The feelings grew every time he came around her. “Gary, you’re a nice guy, but I told you before, I’m not interested in anything more.” She looked from him and back to the door of the room.
I wish the guard would come back. I need you now!

“Okay.” He came closer. Goddamn, she smelled so nice. “I just don’t think you know what you’re missing out on?” A smile flashed heavily on his face causing his full mustache to crinkle up under his nose.

“I think I know.” She smiled a nervous look. The sight of his smile caused her to flinch. The mustache above his lips only added to the look of bitterness on his face. She hated the look more than she hated him.

His smile widened. “That’s cool.” He turned and walked back over to where they began their conversation. “Maybe some other time then?” He turned back and faced her. His smile grew only larger before it finally disappeared. He loved every minute that he spent with her. Inside, he knew she wanted him. He had to give her time. He had to stay patient.

Rachel worried. Watching him hesitate made her hold her breath. That worry vanished all too quickly when he finally turned, crossed the room, and disappeared back out into the hallway. Watching that, relief replaced everything all at once. “Bastard.” She finally allowed herself to breathe.

Jimmy walked fast. He walked for a while, turned right and then left. He couldn’t get her out of his thoughts. He could still see her beautiful skin. Her skin looked so smooth. She looked slightly pale, but he liked that. It made her look soft. It made her look gentle. He could still see the curves of her face. Every curve looked perfect. Her eyes shined so clearly. He could see everything about her, and he liked it all.

So, why didn’t I say something?
Why didn’t I try to? Why can’t I ever get anything right?
Everything he did do seemed so wrong, and he hated himself for it.

He came to the next intersection and stopped. He looked to his left, turned, and faced right. He turned back around behind him, and after several moments, he realized that he had no idea where he was.
You’ve got to be kidding me?
He turned back the way he came, and saw that everything looked the same. Nothing looked right.
Why do I keep doing this? Why can’t I just be me? Other guys can talk to women. Hell, I was with Sally? I did that.
He was right. He has done this before, so what was wrong now? What was different about him? He didn’t know, and now, he looked lost in other ways too. It all brought him to have to look at his watch.
12:30! Fucking great! I’m like so way behind!
He looked down the hallway to his right. It looked good, so he took it.

He came to another intersection and there he had to stop again. He looked right. He looked left. He looked straight ahead. Everything still looked the same. He saw nothing that looked familiar, but yet, everything did. He was lost all right. He had no idea where he was.

Where the hell am I?
Every hallway—every door—looked like the one next to it. Seeing that, the sensation of feeling stupid grew in him in leaps and bounds. Seeing the woman, and the embarrassment of how he reacted with her, had completely caused him to go in the wrong direction.
What the hell is wrong with me?
He didn’t know. He had nothing to give himself.

He turned around the way he came, and began heading back that way. He walked until he came to another junction and there he stopped. He looked to the three ways now in front of him, and again, nothing looked familiar, but everything did. Seeing it all, he felt like crying. He almost felt like breaking down.

I tell you Jimmy, you are hopeless.
He sighed. The voice wasn’t his. In fact, it sounded like Brandon.
You are such a loser!
He sounded mocking. He sounded forceful, but he was right. He always did this. He always headed in the wrong direction.

Becoming frustrated, he turned left, and moved on. Quickly, up ahead, he could see a set of double doors at the end of the hallway, and seeing them, he sighed instantly.
That’s got to be them.
He nodded and headed right for them. They had to be the same double doors that he came into the labs.

Heading there, he stopped directly in front of them and looked to the windows that were in the center of each door, but all he could see was his own face. He could see nothing of what was on the other side of them.

Did the doors I came through have windows in each door, and were they mirrored?
He questioned his memory. He reached for the handle on the door on the left and tried it, but it didn’t move. He tried the door on the right, and again, he turned the knob, and again, it wouldn’t turn. Both of them seemed locked.

Oh fuck it Jimmy!
Brandon’s voice came in again.
Just fuck it, and try another direction?
But no, he had to have come in this way.
I came in this way. It has to be the way I came in.
He turned and looked back the way he came. The entire area looked quiet. He heard nothing, and again, everything looked familiar. That familiarity stuck in his heart, and it told him that he had to be right. It just had to be the way he came in, but still, he couldn’t be sure of anything.

Now completely confused, he turned back to the double doors, and looked over them carefully, wondering what to do next. It took only one look for him to find a keypad just to the right of the doors. Seeing it, he again reached for his access card on his breast pocket, and brought the card down to the pad. It beeped, and the light flashed green as the door clicked.
This has to be the doors to the offices. It just has to be.
He opened the doors, went through them, as the door closed behind him with a gentle thud.

Now where the hell am I?
He walked into what looked like a darkened room. In fact, when he looked down, he couldn’t even see his own shoes.
This is not the offices.
He looked back up and saw nothing. With it all, he sighed, turned, and reached back for the door.

“Who’s there?” a voice came from the darkness behind him.

A deep, gurgling sound that caused him to jump almost as fast as it came. He gasped not expecting anyone to be there, and it froze his legs in place. “I’m Jimmy, or James Walls.” He turned and looked back into the darkness. His voice sounded rushed. He sounded scared and he hated himself for both.

“Who?” the voice asked just before a bright flash of light flowed throughout the room.

Light that completely blinded him. “I’m James Walls, the night security guard.” He repeated and tried to focus. He raced his right arm over his face to help with the glare of lights that now hurt his eyes. It helped some, but only a little. It took a few minutes for his eyes to adjust, and when he could see again, he saw a tall lanky looking man standing maybe three feet in the center of the room just ahead of him.

 The man moved slowly to him, almost hesitant at first and stopped right in front of him. “How did you get in here?” He brushed his long shoulder length and rather shabby looking blonde hair from his face.

Jimmy’s eyes continued to focus. When he could see clearly, he looked deeply into the man’s deep blue eyes. “I did with this.” He showed the tall, lanky man the card that he used to get into the room.

The odd-looking man looked at it and his eyes widened. “You can use it anywhere?” He moved still closer.

He now stood only a foot or less from him. “Yeah.” He stepped back one-step.
God, he stinks!
The man’s breaths reeked with a heavy, sour smell that reminded him of rotting meat. The stench roared. He almost gagged, and had to hold his breath.

“Nice.” The man stopped, noticing the young guard move back. “My name is Collins.” He smiled and showed yellowish, brown colored teeth behind his chapped looking lips. Both made him look almost dehydrated.

Seeing his yellow teeth made Jimmy gasp. They looked shabby and out of place from the rest of him. His face looked pale but clear. His neck looked slim, but he looked somewhat muscular. Every part of him looked healthy, but the teeth. Seeing it all, made him feel a little bit surprised.
His teeth don’t seem to match the way he looks.
“Doctor Collins?” He forced his thoughts back together again. He had to explain why he was there. “I’m sorry to interrupt you. I kind of got lost.”
That was an understatement if there ever was one.
He smiled to himself, but on the outside, he still felt scared and that had to be showing.

“Lost?” Collins turned and walked back to the center of the room. He sighed, or maybe it was a laugh.

Jimmy couldn’t tell for sure, but what he could tell was that the man seemed completely out of place. Now that he was turned, he could easily see the muscles in the man’s back through his white t-shirt. Seeing the shirt, he looked over the rest of him and saw that he was also wearing white slacks. He was also wearing what looked like white tennis shoes as well. Everything he saw made him have to think. It didn’t look like something that a lab worker would normally wear, but then again, he had no real idea what they would wear anyway. Still, everything about him looked different. It made everything feel all too weird. He didn’t look like he was supposed to be there. It all felt like just a hunch, but with all of it, he didn’t know what else to think about anything.

“No worries. You didn’t interrupt anything.” The man stopped and turned back towards him. “I was doing nothing really. I never do anything lately.” He bowed his head, causing his blonde hair to fall in front of his face.

Jimmy turned, watching him move. He looked through the room around him, and could see what looked like a bed at the far wall on his left. It looked disheveled and slept in. On the right, there was what looked like cages built into the wall itself. Other than that, there was nothing else in the room. The smells in the room were even stranger. It smelled musty. It smelled different. He couldn’t place what it smelled like, but it did smell strange. It all made him look back to the man, and in doing so, he had the sudden feeling that he had just walked in on him doing something that he wasn’t supposed to see him doing. The sudden feeling of wanting to run again crept up into his heart. “I’ll leave you now.” He turned to leave.

“You don’t have to go.” Collins raised an arm out to the young guard and motioned him with a wave. His voice cracked some, sounding almost surprised. He also sounded almost like he was pleading. “I don’t get too many visitors.” His voice turned demure, almost serene. He sounded almost like a little kid that was bored and wanted someone to stay to play with him.

Hearing it all surprised Jimmy even more. “Visitors?” He stopped as his hand touched the doorknob. He turned it, just before, and found it surprisingly locked. He didn’t really think about it more than that and turned back around. “You work here right?” he felt that he needed to ask, so he did.
This all feels weird. It doesn’t feel right.
If what he felt was right, he needed something more to go on. He had no idea what else to do.

“Work?” The man laughed. It sounded deep, almost childish. “I guess you can call it that?”

Jimmy could see something that looked like shame in his eyes. The look surprised him some, and he didn’t know why. Why would he be ashamed to be there? He didn’t know what to think about it, so he tried not to. “What do you do?” he had to ask next.
I had to come into the room with a card. If I had to do that, than he would have to do that too right?
It made sense, but he still felt obliged to ask anyway.

“I’m a guinea pig.” The man shrugged and laughed again. “I help with research,” he added after catching his breath.

Jimmy nodded, trying to understand everything. However, he now knew he didn’t want to know anything else. “I should go?” He turned again.

The man obviously didn’t want him to leave. “I was wondering if you could do me a favor first?” he asked, sounding rather rushed.

“What?” Jimmy stopped just as he used his card on the pad just next to the doorjamb, and opened the door.

The man left the center of the room and made his way towards where he stood. “I was wondering if you could get me something to eat. I haven’t had anything to eat for a while.” He smiled.

His breath smelled beyond bad, it almost smelled as if it was petrified. “I’m not sure that I should.” He bowed his head, and again held his breaths.

The man, Collins, nodded and sighed. “That’s okay.” He truly looked disappointed. He looked like the child was just told that he couldn’t have the friend stay and play with him after all.

Jimmy nodded and quickly swung the door open and left as fast as he could go. He made it down the hallway and back to the intersection, and there he stopped and turned back to the double doors.

Collins now stood there, holding the left of the double doors open and looking straight at him. He smiled, showing his deep yellow teeth.

Jimmy couldn’t do anything else but stare for a brief moment and take a deep breath. He didn’t know what he just walked in on, and for the life of him, he now knew that he didn’t want to know it. He couldn’t figure out anything more than that, so he just turned and moved on. The need to run felt overpowering, and the need to get back on his tour became stronger than that. When he reached the next intersection, he looked down at his watch, and saw that it was now
12:45
.
Shit! I am really running late.
He had to find his way back. He had to run. He had to get back to the lobby and now.

He turned and headed down the hallway to his left, and at the next intersection, he turned right. He ran for what seemed like an eternity. He kept going until he found a set of double doors and flew through them, and before he knew it, he was back in the hallway of the office side of the building. Again, before he really knew it, he was back on his tour. He reached the lobby after a good half-an-hour of trying to find his way back. Just as he made it to the counter, two tall men wearing dark blue uniforms with badges covering their left pockets seemed to be waiting for him by the front doors. Seeing them standing there instantly made him wince.
They found me out. They’re waiting for me, because I’m late.

“Where the fuck have you been?” The larger of the two men, the one with blonde hair and a mustache, came up to the counter, and stopped. He placed his right arm to the top of it, and stared at him with haunting eyes. The other man, the younger one, stayed at the front doors by the glass.

Jimmy held his breath. “I got a little lost.” He bowed his head, removed the radio from his belt, and placed it to the top of the counter before taking his chair. He didn’t know who this man was, but knew that it had to be one of the other security guards employed at the labs. The ones that he knew were armed, and the fact they were, scared him to his very core.