Chase the Stars (Lang Downs 2 ) (5 page)

C
HRIS
finished his tea, thanked Kami, and used his injuries as an excuse to retreat to his room for an hour or two before dinner. The bed was surprisingly comfortable despite his sore ribs, far more comfortable than the hospital bed had been. Chris lay down and closed his eyes, consciously relaxing his muscles starting with his feet and working his way up. It was a game he’d played with his mother when he was younger and had trouble sleeping. They’d put each part of his body to sleep until they reached his head, although most nights they didn’t get that far before he fell asleep. He smiled at the memory of the days before she’d married Tony, when everything had been simple, or so it had seemed to him at the time.

He was nearly asleep when the door to his room burst open. “Chris! Guess what?”
The jolt of adrenaline from waking so quickly left Chris’s hands tingling and his heart pounding. It took a moment to realize what he heard in Seth’s voice was excitement, not anger or fear or worry. He had gotten so used to a shout being cause for concern that he’d forgotten what joy sounded like. “What?” he said, opening his eyes and smiling at his brother without trying to sit up.
“I met the awesomest kid today. His name’s Jason. He’s fourteen, but he’s been here forever. Since he was two. He has his own sheepdog and everything! He lives here on the station all year and goes to school on the Internet, which means he can do his schoolwork on his own schedule and help around the station when he’s needed. He said he’d teach me all the commands for the dogs and show me everything I need to know around the station and maybe even help me with my schoolwork. Oh, and his dad’s one of the mechanics here. Do you think he’d let me help him a bit too? I could learn so much from him. You know how much I love engines.”
“It sounds like you had a good afternoon,” Chris said, the spate of words widening his smile. It had been too long since he last saw this kind of enthusiasm from Seth. He might not trust Caine’s offer completely, but anything that gave Seth this kind of joy was worth it, no matter what the price was down the road. “Maybe this was the right decision after all?”
“Maybe it was,” Seth said with a shy smile.

“Just remember they don’t know us yet, so if you get up to your tricks, tread carefully until you know people better,” Chris warned. “We don’t want anyone to get hacked off and have to leave because of it.”

“I’ll be good,” Seth promised. “If we stay, I can maybe get a dog of my own.”
Chris’s smile faded. For as long as he could remember, Seth had wanted a dog, but when they were little, there hadn’t been space in their flat, and later, after their mother married Tony, they had space, but Tony didn’t like dogs. Seth had learned not to ask, but the desire clearly hadn’t gone away. “Maybe you can. You can ask Jason where he got his dog and maybe we can save up enough money for you to get one of your own. If we decide to stay, that is.”
Seth’s face grew serious as he sat down on the floor next to Chris’s bed so they were close to eye level. “I want to stay.”
Chris ruffled Seth’s hair affectionately. “Then we’ll have to do our best to fit in. I learned two things today.”
“What’s that?” Seth asked.
“That pretty much everyone here thinks Caine is a saint and that everyone except Caine and maybe Kami the cook lives in awe and fear of Macklin. Keep that in mind when you’re talking to people.”
“They saved your life,” Seth reminded Chris. “I’m not going to repay that by doing stupid shite.”
Chris cuffed the side of Seth’s head lightly. “Watch your language. You’re not one of the jackaroos yet and I don’t want to hear it.”
“You swear sometimes too.”
“I know. It’s a bad habit I need to break,” Chris said. “More than that, though, you said Jason was only fourteen. Do you want Jason’s dad to decide you shouldn’t come around because you’re a bad influence on him?”
“No.”
“Then watch your mouth so he doesn’t have a reason to question you being there.”
“I will,” Seth promised. “I really want to stay. I won’t do anything to mess that up. I promise.”
Chris pulled Seth into a tight hug. It hurt his ribs, but he held on anyway. He didn’t know how badly Seth needed the embrace, but he knew how much he needed it. It would just have to hurt.
Finally Seth squirmed a little in his arms so Chris let him go. “So who else did you meet today? Anyone?”
“One other jackaroo,” Seth said. “His name’s Jesse. He’s also a mechanic, although I don’t think he was hired for that. I think he hired on just as a jackaroo.”
“It sounds like you’ll have plenty of people to teach you then,” Chris said. “That’s good.”
The bell tolled signaling mealtime. “Help me up so we can go eat dinner. I’m starving.”
Seth helped Chris get out of bed and stayed at his side as they negotiated the steps. By the time they made it to the canteen, it was full of men waiting for their dinner. Chris looked around for any familiar faces, but he really only knew Caine, Macklin, and Neil, and he didn’t want to impose on the boss. Seth solved the problem by dragging Chris over to meet Jason and his father. Chris smiled politely and let the rest of the conversation drift past him as they discussed the various kinds of machinery on the farm.
“You look bored.”
Startled, Chris looked up into the greenest eyes he’d ever seen. “N-no,” he stammered, fighting not to let his eyes linger inappropriately on the other jackaroo. He’d learned how to look without being caught, but it was hard not to stare since they were actually talking. “Lost, but not bored. I’m not much of a mechanic, so their conversation is completely over my head.”
The other man laughed, the smile softening his face. He wasn’t weathered enough to have the whole carvedfrom-granite thing going on like Macklin did, but Chris figured he only needed another year or two to get there. Until he smiled. “I’m sure it is. I’m Jesse Harris. Nice to meet you.”
“Chris Simms. I’d offer to shake hands, but, well….” He lifted his cast to show Jesse his injury. “Not exactly in top form at the moment.”
“You’re Seth’s brother. He mentioned you’d been hurt, but I didn’t realize it was quite that dramatic. You’ve got a beautiful bruise on your cheek there.”
Chris lifted his hand self-consciously to his cheek. He hated looking less than his best at any time, but especially sitting next to someone as… potent as Jesse. He didn’t hold out any hope the other man was gay, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t look. “Does it look awful?”
“Not awful,” Jesse replied. “Painful, but it’ll heal. I’m sure the other guy looks worse.”
If only
, Christ thought with a grimace. “There were five of them. If it weren’t for Macklin and the others, I’d be dead.”
“I heard Ian and Kyle bragging, but I figured they were talking shite. You were really bashed like that?”
“That’s what they said before they attacked me,” Chris said, “but I think we’ll be safe here.”
“Yeah, it would take quite a drongo to hassle someone for being gay when the boss and foreman are both gay too,” Jesse agreed. “Have you worked on a station before?”
Chris shook his head. “We’re city kids through and through, but we won’t let Caine and Macklin down.”
“They do seem to inspire that determination in people,” Jesse said. “I haven’t figured out what it is about them, but the year-rounders and the ones who’ve been here before all agree this is the best station around to work at. I figure that’s about the best recommendation you can get.”
“This is your first year too?” Chris asked.
“My first year at Lang Downs,” Jesse replied. “I’ve been working other stations since I was eighteen.”
“So not quite as much of a blow-in as I am,” Chris said.
“Stick with me, kid,” Jesse said with a grin, the expression making Chris’s stomach turn over with desire. He wondered how hard it would be to jerk off left-handed. “Well, when your arm gets better anyway. I’ll show you the ropes.”
“Thanks,” Chris said. “I’d really appreciate it. I’m feeling a little lost at the moment. I’m supposed to help in the kitchen starting tomorrow, but I don’t know much about cooking, and with my arm in a cast, I can’t even do the heavy lifting and leave the rest to Kami.”
“I’m sure Kami will teach you,” Jesse said. “He’ll be the one listening to the complaints if he doesn’t. I’ve eaten in a lot of canteens in the past ten years, and this is one of the best. He’s not going to let that suffer because his jackaroos are used to this quality. From what I heard in the bunkhouse, nobody’s shy about expressing their opinions.”
“I couldn’t believe they talked about Caine and Macklin like that,” Chris said, lowering his voice. “Can you imagine if one of them had walked in on that conversation?”
Jesse chuckled. “I wouldn’t have wanted to be in their shoes if that happened, that’s for sure. Macklin would hang them out by their balls for that kind of talk, but I can live with that.”
“Why would it be a problem for him to do that? I mean, he has the right to defend himself.”
“It’s the reason why,” Jesse explained. “Here, Macklin would do it because he’s the foreman and Caine’s the boss and it’s nobody’s business but theirs. Everywhere else I’ve worked, the foreman would’ve done it because someone implied he was a pillow biter. Same result, but entirely different feeling.”
“Yeah, I can see that,” Chris replied. “Nobody seems to care that they’re gay. The conversation wasn’t mean. They’d have made the same kind of comments about a man and his wife if she had him pussy-whipped.”
“And that’s a rare and precious thing,” Jesse said. “The line’s died down so I’m going to get some food. It was good talking to you.”
Chris watched the other jackaroo walk across the room, admiring the way his jeans stretched over his arse, before turning his attention back to the plate in front of him. He’d known Caine and Macklin were special, but the conversation with Jesse drove home just how special this place was. Chris hadn’t asked how people found out about Caine and Macklin or how they first reacted, but he could see how they reacted now. Neil had been perfectly clear that afternoon, and Jesse agreed with the assessment. Chris was safe here.
The end of the conversation made Chris wonder a little if Jesse was gay too. It would explain some of his cryptic comments, but even here, where Chris didn’t worry about being bashed again because of his sexuality, he didn’t want to make assumptions about other people’s preferences. Jesse didn’t strike Chris as gay, but then neither did Macklin, so maybe Chris wasn’t as good a judge as he thought he was. He certainly wouldn’t have believed Macklin was gay if anyone other than Macklin himself had told him.
With a sigh, he finished his dinner and headed slowly back to his room. He needed to sleep if he was going to help Kami in the morning.

W
HEN
Jesse finished eating, he wandered outside and stared up at the night sky. The stars always seemed brighter when he was on a station. Intellectually he knew it was because of the decrease in light and air pollution, but that never took away from the magic of the stars spread out above him in all their magnificence. They seemed even brighter than usual tonight. He told himself it was his imagination, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of rightness.

After ten years of wandering from station to station looking for a place to fit in, he’d finally found one he thought might be a good fit. He’d heard some of the other jackaroos talking in town when he’d arrived to try his hand at New South Wales after having worked farther north. Word had gotten around that the grazier at Lang Downs was gay, not that most of the jackaroos used that kind a word for it. He’d noticed a group of men not joining in, and he’d asked them about it.

“We can’t argue with them about the boss being gay,” one of them replied. “It just doesn’t make a difference to anyone who actually knows him.”

“They won’t care what we say, and Caine wouldn’t appreciate us getting in a fight over him,” another man replied. “Let them say what they want. It’s less competition for us when the Lang Downs crew gets here.”

“He’s a fair boss, he runs a good station, and he treats everyone well,” the first man said. “What’s to mind? He’s not trying to sleep with us.”

That didn’t tell Jesse who the boss was sleeping with, but he figured it wasn’t any of his business. It was enough to hear the jackaroos say it wasn’t an issue. When the time came to sign on with a crew, he hadn’t hesitated to approach the men from Lang Downs even if he’d kept his reasons for doing so to himself.

Then Neil had surprised him with the announcement of Caine’s partner that afternoon. Jesse had met Macklin, of course, as the foreman grilled him on his experiences and references with Caine sitting right beside him, a united front for sure but without any undertones Jesse could detect. As he stood there staring at the stars, though, he saw Macklin making his rounds for the night. He nodded to Jesse as he walked by and up the path to the station house. He let himself inside with complete ease, closing the door behind him. The light in the living room went out a few minutes later.

However strange it might seem from the outside, Macklin lived in the station house and was partnered with the station owner, and everyone familiar with the station accepted that.

Jesse took a deep breath, smelling new grass over the smell of the sheep in the nearby pens. Spring was coming even here in the highlands, and he was getting a new start along with it.

Thoughts of Chris filtered through his mind as he enjoyed the cool night air. He couldn’t imagine what the kid had been through. He’d always been careful not to let people find out he was gay unless he was absolutely certain of their reaction precisely because he didn’t want to end up beaten or dead. Jesse didn’t know whether Chris was careless or stupid or simply unlucky, but Jesse’s worst nightmare had played out in Chris’s life. From the little bit of conversation they’d shared and everything Seth had said about his older brother earlier in the day, Chris seemed like a good guy, far more responsible than the typical person his age, but that came with a price. Chris could probably use a friend, and Jesse saw just enough of himself at that age in Chris to want to be that friend.

It didn’t hurt that Chris was cute, in a not quite pretty but definitely attractive kind of way. The summer was looking up in more ways than one, if Chris happened to be interested in a little… recreation.