Chasing Down Changes (Moroad Motorcycle Club) (9 page)

"Where's the money I sent you every month?" His harsh breath blew the strands of hair out of her eyes. "Where is it, Tiff?"

Oh, God. She braced against his anger. "I have all of it. I was going to give it back to you when you got released."

"Give it back?"

She nodded. "Every dollar. I never used it."

"You never used it?"

"No." She moistened he lips and sagged against the wall, putting her hands on Jeremy's chest to calm him down. "The night you broke into my suite, you took responsibility for providing for me and giving me a chance to purchase the Sterling Building."

"Obviously, you didn't get the money from me, because Cam said you haven't used my money." He pushed off the wall.

She dropped her hands to her side, chilled from Jeremy pulling away from her. "No, and I planned on giving it all back, but you made me mad. You can't come to me after all these years and believe I waited for you or that I'd live off the money you sent me. I'm not the kind of person who would use someone else that way. I never earned any of the money you sent me, and I never asked Moroad to help me. I cut my ties with the club when I found out you weren't getting eighteen months, but fifteen years."

"Does it matter how long? You belong to me."

"You never tried to come back to me. You sealed your fate and stayed in prison, and never gave me another thought." She gasped for breath.

He glared, shaking his head. "Bullshit."

He couldn't place the blame for their relationship falling apart on her. She wasn't the one who killed someone.

"The last time I hung around the Moroad members, your dad broke the news of your sentence to the club. I had to hear it along with everyone else. The news hit me hard, Jeremy. I thought I was dying. The thought of not having you in my life left me afraid. I relied on you for everything. You were the only thing that made me wake up every morning looking forward to the day. Nothing my mom said or did bothered me with you around, because you were in my corner ready to take my mind off of life." She inhaled deeply.

"You've always been strong," he muttered.

She shook her head. "Not strong enough to survive this lifestyle without you."

He stepped toward her. She held up her hand. "You want to judge me? Fine. Then listen to me. You weren't there. You have no idea what I went through."

He stayed on the other side of the room and nodded.

She crossed her arms and tried to calm her racing heart. "When I finally stopped crying after hearing the news of your incarceration Lola came to me. She explained how she was no longer going to work at Silver Girls or have sex with the Moroad members. I clung to her because she was hurting. Lola took me home, stayed the night, and acted like my friend."

"She was your friend."

"Oh, really? Cause last I knew, friends didn't warn you away from the club, tell you to leave the only man you've ever loved, and I needed to go out and make a life for myself." She shrugged. "She confessed that you'd asked her to stay away from the other men and give up her job at Silver Girls. I wasn't stupid, Jeremy. The only way a Moroad woman could make decisions like that is if they had a member supporting them. Lola belonged to you. I had to face the fact you were locked up for fifteen years, claimed someone else, and I needed to leave. I took Lola's advice to heart. I never once asked Moroad for help. Later, I heard the girls talking at Silver Girls about how Lola was the only female allowed to visit you in prison. I could no longer deny the truth, and I never looked back."

Jeremy exhaled loudly and sat on the edge of the bed. Her legs shook, and all the talking left her lightheaded. She reached behind her and leaned against the wall. She lived with the pain of losing Jeremy for too long, until she became numb.

With her confession, the coldness fled, and her chest squeezed. Her agony returned as if it was yesterday Jeremy left her and not fifteen years ago.

"Three hundred and sixty thousand dollars, and you never once believed you were mine?" Jeremy gazed at her.

"No," she mouthed. "You claimed Lola. Over the weeks, months, and even during the first few years afterward I'd ask the Moroad women while they were working at Silver Girls if Lola was back to sleeping with the guys. I looked for any sign that things had changed between you and her. They always told me no. Lola quit dancing immediately, cutting her ties to Silver Girls, and since you knew I worked for Lilly cleaning the upstairs, I assumed you didn't want her around me. I knew the only way she could go on with Moroad was if she belonged to one of the members. I watched and listened to all the other men when they came to watch the dancers, and none of them claimed her."

Jeremy's mouth tightened. She waited for him to deny everything, and he remained quiet. Her stomach rolled, and she waited for relief to come. Instead, the hollow pit inside of her grew.

"Now would be a really good time for you to explain what is going on between you and Lola." She laughed to keep herself from screaming at him for answers. "You wanted everything out in the open, and I gave you the whole ugly truth. The least you can do is let me go if you don't want to explain what the fuck is going on."

"I am not going to let you go," he whispered.

"Jeremy," she said, her voice rising. "You're
with
Lola."

"I'm not with Lola. She doesn't belong to me."

The wall caught her surprise. She straightened standing on her own. "Are you denying she stopped having sex with
all
the men of Moroad?"

He shook his head. Bile burned her throat, and she swallowed. A drama filled relationship seemed exciting and passionate when she was young. She got off on making him prove, over and over, that she belonged to him. Make-up sex was unbelievable.

They were no longer young. She couldn't afford to go through a broken heart again. The pain alone would kill her.

Jeremy's lack of communication and unwillingness to let her into his life poked at the scars that had grown around her heart. He was the only man she ever loved. She still loved him. She'd probably die loving him, but she couldn't live with him.

To set herself up for disappointment would only set her back. She'd come a long way professionally. Her obligations kept her busy and her mind off how lonely she'd become.

A police siren sang outside, growing closer. Jeremy jumped from the bed, removing his pistol. Tiff hurried to the door and pressed her back to the wood by the time the noise stopped.

"What did you do?" she whispered.

"Nothing." He peeked out the window and put his pistol back. "Looks like you've got company."

"Me?" She stepped over to the window and spotted Sheriff Colby standing at the front of his patrol car holding her bag she'd left at his house last night. "Colby brought my things."

Jeremy grunted. "How convenient, huh?"

"It was nice of him. I have no change of clothes, and you don't seem willing to let me go back to the Sterling Building." She glanced at Jeremy and stepped away to go outside.

Jeremy caught her arm. "What's going on between you and the badge?"

"Colby?" She gawked. "Nothing."

"Right," muttered Jeremy, holding on to her.

She gazed up into his eyes. "Oh...I get it. Unlike you with Lola, I'm not into someone old enough to be my parent. Colby is a friend. A very close friend who has always been here for me, especially through the last fifteen years."

Jeremy dropped her arm. She walked out the door.

Aware of Jeremy standing in the doorway watching her, she headed straight to Colby knowing she hadn't done anything wrong. She worried about upsetting the sheriff over her leaving last night without giving him an explanation. They'd been through too much for her to cause him extra stress.

Colby held out her bag. "I thought you might need your stuff."

"I do." She took her belongings, leaned in, and kissed his cheeks. "Thanks so much."

Colby tilted his head. "Are you doing okay?"

"You know..." She shrugged. "Things are awkward and normal at the same time. One minute I recognize the man I loved and the next, he's a stranger."

"Are you trying to work things out?" Colby glanced over her head in the direction of the motel room.

"Jeremy walked out of prison expecting things to stay the same as before he was arrested." She blew out her breath. "He'll feel better once he gains his balance and discovers I've moved on with my life. I owe him that time."

"You still love him." Colby's gaze softened.

She nodded. "You and I both know that Moroad Motorcycle Club can't be anywhere near my life or my employees. I've allowed their women to dance for Silver Girls and stayed in good graces with them to keep everyone happy with the schedule. That's as close as I want them, and my good relationship with the club gives me something to use in case they try to take everything I've built away."

Colby lowered his voice and said, "You haven't said anything about—?"

"No, of course not." She touched his arm. "I better get back to Jeremy. Thanks for dropping off my things."

"Call if you need me."

She walked backward and smiled. "I will."

Turning around, she returned to Jeremy and held up her bag. "My clothes."

Jeremy stayed in the doorway. She slipped into the room. Her head pounded from the charade she played with both men. She always understood the day would come when she'd have to answer to someone. That time had come. Jeremy already suspected something was going on between her and Colby.

E
ight hours after Sheriff Colby brought Tiff her bag, Jeremy returned to the motel after getting called out on a ride with Cam and Gunner. He pulled into the parking lot full of motorcycles, ready to settle things with Tiff.

Music blared from behind the motel. He parked and walked through the walkway between the two buildings. If he had a choice, he never would've left Tiff alone all day.

The more time she had to herself, the more excuses and suspicions she threw at him. He kicked an empty bottle of beer out of the path. Tiff needed to put the subject of Lola behind her and move forward with him. He wasn't going to change his life to make her comfortable. There was nothing going on for her to stay wary of his intentions.

She plain refused to listen to what he was telling her.

Thirty-some men stood sprawled out in the entertainment area. A glowing fire roared in the pit. He scanned the faces lit by the flames and found the women on the far side near a picnic table holding a cooler.

Lola broke away from the crowd and hurried toward him. He continued to check for Tiff and came up empty.

"You made it in before the party got over." Lola looked behind him. "Did you lose Cam and Gunner?"

"Dad went home, and Gunner's got watch at Rail Point Bar." He finally gazed down at Lola. "Where's Tiff?"

Lola lost her smile. "She hasn't shown up."

Fuck. He pivoted and walked back through the walkway straight to the motel room. Jacko sat on the sidewalk with Amy a few yards from the room. He raised his chin in greeting.

"You back, man?" Jacko stood, pulled Amy to her feet, and wrapped his arms around his woman from behind.

"Yeah. Thanks for watching Tiff." He nodded at Amy. "Take your woman home and enjoy her."

Amy leaned her head back against Jacko. "It's good to have you home, Jeremy. You've been missed."

"Go on, get out of here." Jeremy motioned with his chin. "Ride safe. There's a trooper under the viaduct."

"Fuck the cops." Jacko whooped and picked up Amy, carrying her to his motorcycle.

The door handle refused to open, and Jeremy knocked. He'd put guards on her while he was gone. She couldn't leave.

"Tiff, open the door," he said.

The deadbolt turned, and the door came open. Tiff stepped back, and he walked inside, shutting the door. The bed was made, her clothes were folded, and only the small lamp on the nightstand was on.

"Why aren't you out with the others?" He hooked the back of her neck, holding her in front of him while his chest expanded and loosened.

"I no longer belong to Moroad." She frowned, squirming from his touch. "Your hands are cold. Have you been on the road this whole time?"

He massaged her neck, bringing warmth into his fingers, not letting her go. He'd gone all day thinking about touching her. "Yeah."

Tiff shivered. He brought her closer, wrapped her in his arms, and without her seeing, closed his eyes and appreciated her warmth. God, she was tiny compared to him. Her head rested under his chin.

"Do you have a coat or sweatshirt with you?" He stroked her hair down her back, trailing his hand down the curve of her lower back to the top of her ass. "Let's go out and have a beer before we call it a night."

"Go ahead. I'm sure the guys would love to hang with you." She smiled up at him. "I'm getting tired anyway."

"Are you going to push me away every time I want to do something with you?"

"No." She skirted him and walked over to the bed. "It's late."

"Considering you work upstairs in the Sterling Building all evening and keep Silver Girls open until two in the morning, you're lying to me." He moved over to the dresser, found one of her sweatshirts, and tossed it in her direction. "Let's go. You can grab something to eat while you're out there. I'm sure they have something left."

"I've already eaten. Bear brought me a plate a little bit ago." She pulled the hoodie over her head and shoved her arms inside. "Your dad is probably going to make you take me away from the party."

He paused. "He has nothing to say about what I do."

Tiff's lips firmed, and she joined him at the door. He held her hand, leading her to the back of the motel. Her fingers trembled, from him or the chill in the air, he had no fucking clue. He sat her in one of the lawn chairs close enough to the fire to get warm and walked away to retrieve them each a beer.

On his way back to the fire, he slowed his walk and took his time watching Tiff. She stared into the flames hypnotized. He'd never seen such a beautiful woman in his life.

He'd imagined what she'd look like all grown up, strutting around proud with every sign that she was Moroad property, and she'd exceeded his expectation. Sometimes, like now when she forgot about standing up to him or pretending to hide her feelings, she stole his breath.