Chasing Joshua (10 page)
"Eve, you okay?” Joshua set the bow down and touched her in two steps. His hand pressed gently on her cheek pulling her face up and her eyes to look at him.
"Yeah, fine, just felt a pain or something.” She rolled back her shoulders and placed her hand on his. Somehow she didn't want to move. She liked his touch. He was gentle, yet his hands were large and masculine. She could get used to Joshua's hands on her. Maybe he would be just as gentle in the ... no. They never were. That's why she tied them up. “You ready?"
Evelyn was satisfied to go to the only department store around for her sneakers and some other clothes. The rest of her stuff she could pick up at Wal-Mart. Joshua sat at the front of the store with other men. Patiently, he carried on conversations about the weather and sports.
"I'm ready.” Evelyn smiled and Joshua stood. He shook the hand of the man that had sat next to him.
"Good luck.” Joshua waved and the man let out a long sigh.
"Good luck with what?” Evelyn asked as they left.
"His wife's been in there three hours already.” Joshua realized at that moment Evelyn had taken about forty-five minutes. “Did you get everything you needed? I have money if you need more."
Incredible, he was offering her his money.
My, what a big heart you have.
Evelyn smiled. She could get used to being thought of so considerately.
"I have money. I know what I want and I get it. I'm not much for high fashion, so it's easy.” Evelyn licked her glossy lips. She did know what she wanted, Joshua.
With impending doom looming over her, she couldn't bare the thought of never kissing him. But aggression wasn't going to get her anywhere. Apparently Stella was right. If you want a good man, you gotta be a good woman. And Evelyn didn't scare him. She couldn't bully him, and he definitely wouldn't let her tie him up. She wasn't sure she would want to now anyways.
"I think you're beautiful, so it wouldn't matter what you wore.” Joshua opened the door for her, and she slid into his truck with a little help. Evelyn fought back a tear threatening to escape. He said she was beautiful. Blade had told her from the time she could remember that she was an ugly child. Her red hair and freckles made her an ugly little child. She didn't put much stock in her appearance, and in her job, she didn't have to.
"Okay, Wal-Mart is a little crazy, but if we split up and meet back at the vegetables, we should be in and out.” Joshua smiled. He liked having someone around. Here in this town they were safe. It didn't erase the fact she was in danger, but it eased him to know she was safe.
Evelyn's smile was uncontainable. For the first time ever she understood what her foster mom Stella was talking about. One day the right man would come along and change her life. That day felt like today.
"Okay.” Evelyn chewed on her bottom lip. “I thought we were going out for dinner though?"
"We are, back home though, in Beaufort.” Joshua felt like teasing her a bit. “Unless you want to eat at Hooters. They have great wings."
"Joshua.” Evelyn feigned offense. Looking over at him, with his black hair, green eyes, and full lips, Evelyn felt the heat building inside her. She knew plenty of women at Hooters. She had tracked down an obsessed fan before he hurt one of the girls back home. She ate there for free now. “They have better grilled cheese sandwiches."
Joshua cocked a brow and looked at her. He wanted a jealous reaction, but she shrugged it off. Evelyn was one of the guys, too often, and that made her immune to petty jealousy.
Evelyn unloaded her bags in the guest bedroom and checked her answering service. As she listened she heard a few warnings from friends, a few invitations from enemies, and a real creep. They were trying to flush her out. She needed a plan, but it would have to wait. Right now she needed to unload groceries.
Joshua realized she was putting things away in the wrong places but didn't stop her. He brought in the last of the bags and tried to organize the best he could without redoing what she had already done.
"I'm messing up your system, huh?” Evelyn placed her hand on his back and tiptoed on her good foot using him for leverage to place a box of cereal on the top shelf in the pantry.
"No, don't be silly. It's a closet.” He rearranged the canned vegetables putting liked ones together. The heat of her hand almost took his knees out. The night was growing long, and after dinner they would have to go to bed. He didn't want her to sleep in the guest bed. He wanted her to sleep next to him, on him, like she had the night before. If he could feel her, he would know she was safe.
"Then why are you rearranging it?” She lowered herself flat on her feet again but didn't move her hand.
Instead she gently stroked him, from shoulder to waist. Her head cocked, and she studied his body, the texture of the shirt beneath her hand, the heat he omitted beneath the shirt. Every muscle that now clenched and released as she covered it. “That was the last of it."
Joshua just stood there, his hands holding a can of peas for dear life. He tried to focus, concentrate. It was no use. He turned into her and pulled her into his arms holding her. “If I can't touch you like that, then you have to stop touching me like that, honey."
His voice was in a low breathy whisper, and his lips were near her ear. Evelyn's heart pounded, raced out of control. Instinct kicked in, instincts she didn't know she had until now. Her arms stretched up his back, and she pulled him closer, tighter. Great, she thought, now she would be the grinding one.
"I have to tell you something first.” Evelyn held him. His breath was on her throat, and her senses were leaving her quickly. “I have this thing see. I have issues."
Joshua made a small laugh on her throat, pulled his head up and smiled down at her. “Really, I hadn't noticed."
"I'm being serious.” Evelyn looked at his chest. The pantry was small, and Joshua took up most of it. “I've never, you know."
"Hummm, no, I don't know.” Joshua pulled her face up gently his finger under her chin. “Tell me."
"Maybe we should talk in there.” Evelyn was getting nervous and feeling boxed in.
"Okay.” Joshua let her step out of the closet and followed her to the couch. He sat near her but not intrusive, like he wanted to. He wanted to pull her in his lap and kiss her, but that wasn't going to happen right now. Pushing it from his mind he waited. “Evelyn?"
"I, well, I have never really, you know ... the birds and the bees.” She was quiet and looked at her hands that opened and closed into fists over and over.
"I thought you said you had, but it was years ago.” Joshua wasn't sure what she was saying. It didn't make sense. She was a grown woman with a knockout body. She hated men, but the way she touched him set him on fire. She knew how to do this surely.
"I mean I have done it, twice, but I have this thing see.” Evelyn rolled her shoulders back and decided to be firm and stick with her convictions. That's what other women did, told a lie and stuck to it.
"You're gonna have to tell me, honey.” Joshua lifted a brow. Actually he was dying to hear this one.
"I usually tie the man up ... so he can't touch me.” Evelyn took a big gulping swallow and looked at him.
Joshua was silent. Processing the fact that men had let her tie them up, touch them, and leave without touching her. Where did she find these freaks? Unfortunately that's what stood out the most.
"Where did you find guys that would let you do that?” His eyes were big and peered right at her. He didn't mean to shame her, but damn, that was weird. And he thought Ethan was kinky.
"I don't know. I mean it's only happened a couple times. The first time I just told him the ground rules. He was excited and said it sounded kinky. As long as he got his release he didn't care. All a man cares about is his needs. They would have let me do anything as long as they got off.” Evelyn dismissed it so easily.
"Where did you get that idea from?” Joshua's chest was aching. He had thought Blade molested her as a child, but now he realized he tortured her, sexually. Inside he knew that he couldn't meet the man face to face because he would kill him.
"Loose men are dangerous, like my father. He always tried to touch us; then he would pull back and beat us because he felt bad about it. That's what this is from.” Evelyn lifted her blouse in the front, pulled at her bra exposing most of her left breast. A thin scar slashed across it. “And I have burns here and here. You've seen my back.” She pulled up her sleeves, and small round scars so faint no one would really notice speckled her flesh. Cigarette burns.
"Excuse me.” Joshua stood and tried not to run to the bathroom, but closing in on it he barely reached the commode before he was sick. He had seen a lot of things in his work, but nothing and no one like Evelyn. It was one thing to know you rescued a child from an abusive home. It was another to see the results firsthand.
"Joshua, are you all right all right?” Evelyn stood behind him now, and he felt what was left in his stomach roll up and out his throat. She grabbed a washcloth and ran cold water on it, pressed it to the back of his neck and rubbed his back. “You're not sick because of me, are you?"
Joshua took a deep breath as he flushed the commode. He wasn't sick because of her; he was sick because of what had happened to her. Thinking of his little sister Stephanie and the way he had beat up her boyfriends just for kissing her or breaking her heart, he wished someone had cared enough for Evelyn to fight for her. And he realized her mother did and died for her efforts.
"No, honey, I'm not sick because of you. I ... It was just hard to hear.” He searched for words, but that was the best he had.
"Why?” Evelyn really didn't understand why he was sick. He had her information on file somewhere. Didn't he know? She told him because she wanted him to hear it from her, know it was true, to understand that she trusted him, more than anyone, ever in her life, and she wanted him.
"Honey, do you understand what you just told me?” Joshua sat up and took a deep breath. “You were abused and you tie men up. That's not normal, Evelyn. You should see someone."
"A shrink? Yeah, I have. Why do you think I can tell you about it? The only thing she said was that eventually I would have to deal with the fear of intimacy or spend my life alone. She saw no problem with me tying them up. It didn't hurt the guys, and it wasn't against their will. It gave me control. That's all.” Evelyn shrugged as if it were no big deal. “You had me checked out, so I assumed you knew. The only nightmare I have from that now is the night my mother died. And well, again, I told you."
Shit, no wonder Stevens was freaked out. He had that information. But the fact that she had dealt with it so to speak, seemed a little off kilter since she still tied men up. But the more he thought about it, the less strange it seemed. People do freaky shit all the time on HBO. Evelyn was a grown woman, a highly trained bounty hunter. She was a Marine, yet her only fears were of her father and intimacy.
"I didn't know, and I want to kill him for doing it. That's why I'm sick. That's why I'm afraid to touch you.” Joshua was afraid to touch her, especially now that she clung to him like a lifeline. If he broke that barrier, there would be no turning back. He would keep her, and she wanted to go.
"And that's why I want you to.” Evelyn pulled at his hair gently. It was so soft and silky between her fingers. Yes, he was the one. Her angel, her savior, and the one she had secretly prayed for when Stella died.
Joshua stood and faced her. He touched a lock of her hair and stared into her big brown eyes. “We'll see."
Joshua stepped past her and went upstairs. He brushed his teeth and ran over all of his plans and thoughts. The thoughts took longer to sort out than the plans. By morning he would have information on the other two bounty hunters and hopefully information on her father. Ethan was setting up a meeting that would find the truth behind her sister and possibly help get her cleared of murder. Stevens knew it was a set-up because no charges were filed in Kentucky. It was a head hunt. They were coming for her. He had to be ready.
When he came back downstairs, Evelyn was sitting on the couch, hands in her lap with a sad look on her face.
"What's wrong?” Joshua stretched. He felt better, had sorted things out in his head. He could take it slow, make her realize he wasn't going to let her use him because he was safe.
Thoughts of his mother crept in and the outrage she would have just knowing Evelyn was here. He made her crazy as a teenager and furious as a young adult. She hated Ethan and Chase and thought they influenced him too much. The woman was a control freak, and she wanted her children to be doctors and lawyers and follow her rigid society rules.
"I don't know ... I had my hopes up for a nice evening.” Evelyn wiggled her fingers and fisted them.
"Oh, honey, we'll still have a nice evening. Come on.” Joshua walked over and stood in front of her, held his hand down, and pulled her up when she took it. Throwing up wasn't a habit, but some things, like child abuse, made him sick.
"Where are we going?” Evelyn followed sluggishly.
"To eat.” Joshua shook his head. “I have a lot of room in here now."
"That's gross.” Evelyn was smiling at her own girly statement.
They ate at one of the local restaurants. It was in walking distance as most things were. Over dinner they talked about her time in the military, how she had stayed in Okinawa for three years instead of one. The command didn't mind since she was good at her job, and they didn't fear her getting pregnant. She watched lots of young women fall to the mass of available young men. When they were outnumbered thousands to one, even an ugly girl could be a princess. Evelyn didn't have time for men, even then. When she wasn't on duty, she was studying martial arts.
Joshua told her about his time on the force, his partner Rick who died on a bust gone bad. He injured his shoulder breaking the door down, but it was too late. Rick didn't wait for him to get there, and he found him dead. He didn't tell her about Candace.
After dinner they walked along the waterfront. The April air was crisp, and Evelyn felt chilly. She didn't want to complain because she didn't want the night to end. Going back to the house meant going back to bed, and she would no doubt be in bed alone. She had been alone her entire adult life, slept in vehicles and seedy motels, and now, in a cozy guest bedroom she couldn't sleep at all.
"Joshua, who's Candace?” Evelyn remembered talking to Grace, and the woman's name burned into her mind.
What fool would leave Joshua?
"How did you ... nevermind. She was my partner's wife. When he died, I felt responsible. Candace was pregnant and freaked out. We grieved together, and I told her I would take care of her. She agreed.” Joshua groaned. It was years ago, but time hadn't made the way she dumped him any easier to take. “She didn't want me to be a cop anymore, so I started taking classes again. I always liked the idea of teaching, but I saw it in retirement not now."
"What happened?” Evelyn stopped and leaned into the rail on the boardwalk. Her hair blew in the wind. She shivered. She wished she brought a jacket, but she could suck it up. She wanted to keep talking to him.
Joshua stepped behind her and wrapped her in his arms shielding most of the wind and giving her his heat. The smell of her jasmine ponytail consumed his senses.
"She dumped me. For my graduation present she gave me a wedding invitation. I looked down at her little boy who was a year old by then and realized I just lost him. I had loved him like a son, but he wasn't my son. And he wasn't her fiancé's son either, but now he would grow to know him as his father. It killed me."
"What about Candace?” Evelyn relished his heat, leaned into his chest and closed her eyes.
"I don't understand. I told you she dumped me.” Joshua shrugged.
"Did you love her?” Evelyn's heart began to race with fear.
"You mean like love her love her?"
"Yes.” Evelyn smiled. The way he said it assured her he didn't love her, not romantically.
"No.” With that he sat his chin on her head. “We should get home before you catch a cold. You shouldn't be walking on that ankle like this anyway. You're very resilient. Sometimes I forget you're hurt."
"So carry me.” Evelyn jumped on his back as he turned, pulled herself up, and wrapped her legs around him. “Be my guardian angel. Carry me home."
"You sure you're a big bad bounty hunter?” Joshua adjusted his hands around her thighs and carried her the block and a half home. It felt nice, fun. She was playful. He liked her like this; he liked her a lot.
"Yes, want me to bring you to your knees to prove it?"
Her breath was close to his ear and her thighs around him. He didn't need her to prove it. He could barely stand as it was. “I believe you."
"Good. Cause since you're carrying me, I would hate to fall.” She pecked his cheek with a kiss. A bold move, it got her a smile.
When he didn't set her down at the door or inside, she hoped he would just carry her right up to bed and make love to her. But he didn't. Instead he backed up to the island in the center of the kitchen and sat her on it. He didn't walk away; instead he turned around. His hands were on the counter thumbs next to her thighs, his hips, between her knees. Their eyes locked on each other. And for one brief moment she thought he was going to kiss her. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back farther in anticipation.
"I've worked out a cover for you.” Joshua wanted to lean in and kiss her lips. She was tempting him, but this was business. He couldn't keep her safe if he couldn't think clearly. And from the moment he laid eyes on her, he'd been in a daze. Sex would muddle that, make it worse. Or maybe not having sex would kill him. He wasn't sure which.
"What?” Evelyn's lip pouted against her will, and her head dropped. “A cover, why do I need a cover?"
"Eve Alexander, you can say you're Ethan's cousin from his mother's side. More like a distant cousin, but it will work. No one keeps track of those things.” Joshua studied her face, that pouting lip. She had wanted him to kiss her, and he wanted to. “I'll type up the details tomorrow, and you can study them."
"What about you?” Evelyn couldn't help it; she had to touch him.
"I
am
Ethan's cousin. I don't need a cover,” Joshua teased.
"Joshua!” Evelyn slid from the counter too quickly.
"Whoa.” Joshua held her against his chest tightly. “Easy on that ankle, Wonder Woman."
"I wish I had a lasso right now.” Of course she was referring to Wonder Woman's lasso of truth, but since she had confessed to a little deviant behavior in her adult life, he of course took it the wrong way.
"No one is tying me up. You got that?” Joshua gave her a look that would have made most men cower in fear, but Evelyn wasn't most men, and Joshua scared her both least and the most out of all the men she had ever known.
"I meant to get the truth out of you, jerk. Didn't you watch Saturday morning cartoons?” Evelyn squirmed to try and get her feet to the ground.
"Oh.” Joshua let her go gently easing her to the ground. “I just thought."
"I know what you thought.” Evelyn walked toward the stairs. She paused and turned back to face him. “I do want you, Joshua, and I'm not going to lie and say I understand what that entails because I don't know. I've never considered it before."
"I have to protect you. I can't do that if I get involved with you like that.” Joshua was trying to convince himself as much as her right now.
"I'm a big girl, Joshua. I have brought men your size to their knees more times than I can count. You have to trust me, not protect me. And if Blade is the one after me, I may not live to want another man. You can believe that."
Evelyn started up the stairs and knew what she said was true. This was Blade's doing, somehow someway, she just knew. The legitimate calls on her voicemail that morning were enlightening. The last message rocked her to the core. “Dead or alive, preferably alive, but would still pay half, dead."
Joshua stood there befuddled a few moments and then set about the house locking things, checking the windows and the doors. Satisfied that everything was in place and locked, he started up the stairs. Evelyn was in the shower. He wouldn't get a chance to say goodnight. The thought of her not living made him worry, but he knew she was right. It was a possibility. No. He would see to it that wouldn't happen.
Joshua stripped down to his boxers and pushed under the cool sheets. The weather was fabulous, warm in the daytime, cool at night. Summer was just around the corner, and the sweltering heat would be rolling in. But for now, it was nice. His bedroom window was cracked, and the breeze chilled the air. He lay on his side, back to the door and listened.
The shower down the hall turned off. Footsteps pattered and the guest bedroom door closed. His eyes closed with a sigh. She was sleeping in her room. Funny, how quickly he missed having the warm body next to his.
