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“Merrick, I am not like that! I wouldn’t do that to you or anybody. I’m not gonna kiss, sleep with or do anything else...with someone I don’t feel something for.”

He sighed long and loud.

“I don’t know what to say, Sherry.”

My heart skipped painfully.

“Why aren’t you happy?” I asked and heard my voice catch.

I felt my breath getting heavy and my brain felt fuzzy. I couldn’t understand it. Did he not love me anymore? Was that why he was doing this? Was he the one just having fun? He hadn’t said he loved me since that first time he confessed to me. Maybe there was a reason for it.

“I just can’t believe this. Are you sure you’re not just reacting because of my feelings for you? Wanting to make me happy? I’m not gonna push you, Sherry. I just want
you
to be happy. I’ll take you anyway I can get you. You don’t have to do this.”

Well, maybe not. He just flat out couldn’t believe that I loved him. So I dodged his question with a question of my own.

“Why are you trying so hard to talk me out of this?”

“I’m not. I’ve just been waiting for you to wake up...to realize this is crazy, and it’s not what you want,” he said desperately.

“That’s not gonna happen.”

He was quiet for a minute, coming up with something else to say. Or another argument. Then he repeated a previous argument but I was ready this time.

“I can’t give you things-”

“Weren’t you watching that day? The day at the doctors?”

“You know I was.”

“Well, then you should know that you’re not making me miss anything. An inhospitable womb is still just that. I can’t have kids, ever, even if I am dating an angel.”

“I wouldn’t call myself that.”

“I would.”

I felt his hands on my face. Caressing my cheeks, my earlobes, my jaw.

“You promise this is what you want? I know you, Sherry Elizabeth. You can’t lie to me. You
want
to be with me and not just because I want to be with you?”

“If you know I can’t lie then you should already know the answer. I love you.”

“I love
you
,” he said and sighed as he pressed his forehead to mine.

Defeat never sounded so good.

“I know. And I love that you love me.”

“Would you say it again, please?”

“I love you. I’ve known for a while, now. I should’ve told you already. I love you.”

“I love you so much, baby,” he growled huskily.

He kissed me with a force unlike any before it. His fingers on the hand on the nape of my neck tugged and played in my hair and the other one was kneading my thigh in his fingers. I was undone, unglued with anticipation as we faced each other on our knees. He must know that we can be together now, right?

Ecstatic, I began to pull his shirt hem up once more and he let me. I threw his balled up shirt in the corner. I kissed his neck, heard his breathing hitch but when I reached for my shirt hem he grabbed my hands, placing them over my head on the blanket and lacing our fingers, continuing to kiss me senseless.

After some time of steady kisses, hot kisses but steady, I realized that no, I was not gonna get my wish, he was just extremely excited and in the moment.

Generally he took his shirt off when we slept anyway because it was hot in the rooms so technically, I hadn’t gained any ground. When I realized this fact, I wanted to tackle him in my frustration but remained, as always, my nonviolent self and let him gradually slow us down and eventually halt to a screeching stop before tucking us into bed.

I may have tried to be wily and make a few advances later than night, when he was a bit sleepier and not as alert, but who can really remember these things correctly.

One important fact remained, though I was frustrated and a little confused about how a human male body could keep refusing such invitations, what was more important was that I loved him. He knew it and I knew it.

I loved him.

I loved him.

I loved him.

And maybe most important of all, he still loved me. After watching me, living with me, eating with me, bleeding with me, sleeping and only sleeping with me.

He loved me.

Merrick - She Loves Me, She Loves Me

So, she loves that I know so much about her, huh? From my short stint with the few women I’ve had to take charge over, most of them would hate knowing that fact. That was why I assumed she’d be upset with me when I first told her I’d watched her. Instead, she turned it around and made it about her. About how she wasn’t good enough to be watched.

And what was that with the Lighter? The Taker? I can’t believe she was right there with him. I could feel bile rising to my mouth listening to her describe him and realized it makes me sick to my stomach to think of it. I’d never been sick to my human stomach before.

I saw Ryan on the couch so I walk over and plop myself down. Sherry’s in the shower, alone, without me, ugh... Why did she ever bring that round of thoughts to my mind.
“Hey, Ryan.”

“Hi, Merrick. How’s Sherry?”

“Fine, always fine. She’s not even really that upset by it all. In the big picture yes but, not for herself.”

“That sounds like Sherry.”

“Yep. How’s the arm?”

“Doing great. So, you guys are really serious then huh?”

“Subtle subject change, Ryan,” I chuckled and shook my head at their relentlessness.

I wouldn’t let them in my head so they tried to finagle answers by mouth instead.

“Well, you know...” He smiled guiltily. “I’m just curious. I still worry about you, you know. Sherry is the kindest mortal I’ve ever met and she seems committed to you, I just don’t want this to be some human fling and then you’re...but I don’t know her like you do, so.”

“I’d hope not,” I joked and he laughs. Finally another Keeper was getting the humor. “Sherry and I are fine, more than fine. I think you don’t need to be worried about me anymore. That’s all I’m gonna say about it.”

“So she loves you then.” He watched me closely as we talked. “A human loves you. What’s that like?”

I thought about how much I loved her. I wondered how to describe it to him. No Keeper experience came to mind. How could I explain something they’d never had a comprehension of feeling or seeing firsthand?

“Like nothing you’ve ever felt.”

“Jeff said you told him it was better than home, better than The After.”

I wondered if he was bringing up our Paradise, we call it The After, the place Keepers go when we retire with our chosen mate to go and be ‘content’, to make me feel reminiscent. Make me miss home. They would never understand.

“It is better. I can’t explain it, Ryan. It’s just like when we try to explain our home to humans. Until you’ve felt it, it’d just seem silly to you.”

“Me? Silly? I’m a realist but I’d like to be an optimist.”

“And you will be if you stay here much longer. I love it here, even with all the problems, everything is so real here.”

“I’ve noticed. Jeff has even toned down in the past couple weeks. Earth has done that kid good.”

“Kid? His body is almost thirty.”

“Yeah and mine’s barely twenty, but our life is in the thousands. If I’m a kid, he’s a kid.”

I laughed at his logic.

“I guess you’re right. So, how’s the arm, really?” I asked leaning back and crossing my ankles, amazed at how tired I was but Sherry did keep me up half the night, and it was so worth it.

“Feeling a lot better. That woman of yours sure knows what she’s doing. She’s got magic fingers, as they say.”

“Coming from anyone else I’d be worried about that,” I said yawning and we both laughed.

“So, the Taker. What are we gonna do?” he asked, sitting up to the couch edge.

“No idea. This is all happening way faster than I ever imagined it would. I figured we’d be here fighting and dying and on our last leg before he finally decided to show up.”

“Me too. Me too. But, hey, Calvin’s finally coming around a little bit. He even asked me to do his homework with him the other night.”

“I told you he just needed time. It’s a lot harder on kids. Calvin’s really smart though. He’s a good kid, he knows you’re just here to help him.”

“Well, I think Sherry helped me out on that one too. Alright, I’m starving. I’m glad things are working for you and Sherry. I really am, despite what the others might be thinking.”

“Are thinking, Ryan. It’s ok. I know what they say but I also know what’s important for me. Thanks, I appreciate it.”

He nodded and as I watched him walk away, I thought about the store run that will have to be made again. I’d have to devise a plan somehow to stop Sherry from being able to do the shopping. She was so trusting and sweet. She didn’t have the heart for this kind of life and the Taker could have had her, right then and there. It was only luck that she was still alive and he just wasn’t craving at the time.

I don’t know what I’d do without her. And Phillip. I totally misjudged him. He was so much worse than Bobby. I had to watch him with both eyes lately. He fooled everyone into thinking he was interested in Marissa but I know better.

While Sherry was in the shower, the morning after he barged in our room, he had asked to speak to me...again. I was getting pretty tired of these manly talks of his. He went on to explain again how she would have no real life with me and if I really loved her, I’d let her go.

When I refused to listen anymore and started to walk away, he grabbed my arm and yanked me to a stop. I felt my eyes bulge in shock and anger. My pulse jumped and the blood rushed through my veins. It took all I had to not punch his arrogant jaw, so instead I pushed him against the wall, letting him feel my not quite human strength, probably giving him one more reason to think Sherry shouldn’t be with me, but I no longer cared.

It was my first experience with real human rage. It was terrifying. I felt like I could have crushed him and not thought twice.

He gasped and threw his hands up to defend himself like I was completely unprovoked.

“Hey man! You know I’m right. You are not good for her. You’re not real. I’m her own kind, she belongs with someone like me, someone who can understand things you never could.”

“I’ll let Sherry decide that,” I said as I tried to calm down.

“And she will but will you just let her go when she does? I know it won’t be you. She’s too smart for that. She may be having fun, for a while, but she’ll come around.”

“If...if she chooses someone other than me, I’ll deal with it then. Until then...keep your hands, mind and eyes off Sherry. She is
mine
until she decides not to be,” I said and could her the guttural growl of the words.

That was all I could say and walked off before I hurt my first human. Something I would regret, even if it was Phillip. Jealousy was a heinous human emotion.

Sherry. Sweet trusting Sherry didn’t pay attention to Phillip. He was constantly watching her and analyzing. He was a predator, collecting data and watching for the day to make his move. He actually said he was better for her and he would have her someday, that she would choose him. If for no other reason, because he was human. Maybe he was right.

And what was he thinking? Busting in our room and faking a meeting emergency. It took all I had to just keep calm and play dumb in front of him, for Sherry’s sake. No point in ruining a perfectly good morning with smell of pancakes in the air. Wow, they were good.

After all that, she said she loved me. Her lips spoke the words. No prompting, she just blurted it out with no indication of a lie. It has to be true. She can’t lie. Oh, wow. I just can’t believe it. All this fighting with myself, convincing myself to enjoy it while it lasted, knowing I’d one day have to let her go to Phillip or someone else human and of her choosing, but no, she chose me.

Me.

And she was relentless when she wanted something and now...she wanted to go too far. I couldn’t do that to her. I mean...I could. I wanted to, badly, and she was making it very difficult to resist, almost impossible to control myself but I wouldn’t. She was too important. I know she thought she wanted that, but if we live through this, I want her to look back with happiness, not regret. I can’t. I won’t.

And wow is she amazing. And persistent and sexy. I may have had to go sleep with Danny if she kept this up. She knew what she was doing to me, didn’t she? She had to.

She thinks I’ll crumble under this human flesh. If only she knew how close I actually was, she’d push harder than ever and I wouldn’t be able to stop. What is it that men do? Oh yeah.

Football, pickle bucket, dirty dishes, television newsroom, ice cream sandwich. Not working. Not working.

Gah! She’s so shamelessly sexy. She has no idea, that’s why she’s so dangerous. She has a weapon that she doesn’t even know she has and she was using it, full force. No wonder every man she meets wants to keep her as his own.

Sherry, stop, baby. Please behave. Sleep.

Finders Keepers

Though it was clear to Merrick now that I loved him, and I was certain he loved me, he did not give in last night. Oh, I tried and he struggled with himself, but eventually chivalry won out.

Maybe I wasn’t as sexy as I wanted to be.

I didn’t understand? What were we gonna do, actually get married? Walk into the church and tell them we want to get married, but hey, don’t check behind the ear. Wink, wink.

I didn’t think so.

I would marry him, in a second, that was not the problem. I had no doubt that a guy that would risk everything and travel light years to be with me was worth it, I just don’t see why tradition still counted in times like this. I mean I wanted to marry him, I always dreamed of marrying my guy.

Would the commitment in our heart and the knowing of our little family here not be enough in times like these when you can’t reach a preacher? Are Merrick’s intentions to marry me or was he just expecting our relationship to be only kisses and torture?

Once again, waking before him, I laid there next to him and marveled at the arms around me.

Some would say that this was crazy. I was sure plenty of people in the bunker with me said this was crazy but what else can you do? You find someone who knows you completely, inside out, your best, your worst and he loves you anyway. More than loves you, adores you with every breath.