Authors: N.k Williams
Confessions and Olivia.
Copyright 2014 N.K.Williams
Published by Natasha Williams at Amazon
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Confessions and Olivia is the sequel to Lies and Olivia.
All characters in this book are fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
Table of Contents*
First of all, thank you to my mum, who has supported me throughout this journey and has been as enthusiastic about my books as I am. My sister beanie, my best’s Jordan and Amy
, for giving me the encouragement and honest critics I needed. My daughter who is only six and all she knows is that mummy writes, but always asks if my books are in the shop’s yet at every book store we visit. I reply with; one day.
To the amazing girls on writers blog’s for your help with promoting, advice an
d laughs. You know who you are.
Also a special thank you to Kellie Dennis at Book Cover by Design for my beautiful book covers.
This journey has been a crazy one and I have felt every single emotion possible and have loved every second.
To my readers, thank you all. It’s
over to you.
He was beautiful, funny, and could charm the pants off any women.
I was drawn to him like an addict to they’re dependent.
Yet, apart from his red hot looks, I had no idea why I had begun to need him more than life itself, or why I couldn’t stay away.
So cool and collected on the outside, yet angry and tormented inside. He was holding a dark secret, but kept it hidden well.
I knew that falling in love with this man would ruin me, cut me apart, but I continued to fall, until he did just that. He broke me.
Who was at fault? I? Or this mysterious man I really didn’t have a clue about for leading me on so well?
What was the reason for leaving me?
Broken promises, endless romance. Moments of burning desire for one another. Moments of desperate need.
Did that mean anything?
Did I mean anything?
Yet he’s gone and for what?
To protect me?
It's been four months since Calvin Blake ripped my heart out and stamped all over it. Yet here I am, at Elise's wedding trying to act on top of the world but truth is, I’m still raw. My body is numb, the same as day one. It's like my life has completely frozen. Time has stood still for me and I’m still at that place. Still at the place where Calvin took my heart with him and left me bleeding his love ever since. I relive it every day and every night.
I wake up thinking, today is the day I will feel better, today is the day I will forget, but that day never comes.
Instead, I wake up feeling dead inside. I have no control over the situation and I hate it. I don’t want to stay in this place inside my head any longer, but it seems I have no choice.
I broke down walls for him and they won’t rebuild. They stay broke
n down, damaged and fragile.
I have been cut open
and wounded, allowing myself to feel see-through, open and venerable and I can’t do anything to change that. Since Calvin left, I’ve lost myself and I can’t find a way back. No matter how hard I try.
I stare out towards Elise and Dante, who share their first dance to Coldplay’s Yellow, in the majestic green gardens of a beautiful rustic country house in Apulia, Italy.
It’s now late evening and the trees around us have all lit up beautifully, like stars in the sky. The scene is truly stunning.
I stare from the candle lit table I’m sat at watching on how blissfully happy the newly married couple are. Not a care in their wonderful new world together.
Elise stands positively glowing and infinitely beautiful in her Vintage lace, ankle high, wedding dress. Its lace, off white and mid sleeved with a V neck and a lilac bow coming across the middle, which has been perfectly sewn in. It's comes out a little from the waist down and it's so Elise.
I was chocked up along with the rest of my family when we saw her walking down the garden aisle with her granddad. It’s great to see that so many family members have turned up not wanting to miss it for the world. Everyone has laughed, cried, danced, and got merry.
All expect me. I’m sat absent minded and lonely. I can’t break out of the emotional trance I have adapted to.
I’m in my perfect lilac bridesmaid dress, which had to be taken in twice due to weight loss; which I hate myself for. This continues to become torture for me on a day to day basis. I can't fathom Calvin leaving me.
I can’t eat properly, I don’t sleep and I’m no company to keep. I’m here on my step sister’s biggest day of her life surrounded by family and friends and all I want to do is be alone.
I’ve put on a brave face all day for her, rightly so. But I feel mentally exhausted from smiling when I don’t want to, chatting away like nothing’s happened, trying to ignore this whole in my heart, but I can't. He’s left me numb, lifeless and vacant.
"Olivia, vuoi ballare con me. Please, come dance with nonna."
Mauricio’s mom, gran
Mona Fahoney, ‘nonna’ as we call her here, pulls on my arm, trying to get me up to dance. She looks adorable in her light green dress on her short frame and curly hair all pulled back. I resist, trying to let her down gently until she gives in and pulls my mom up instead. I wave at her smiling as she goes, but my smile soon fades.
The first few weeks post Calvin I didn't come out of my room. I didn’t see the point. Sophia, Mayra and my mom tried endlessly to get me to come around from my emotional coma but their efforts were shunned. I had nothing to live for, nothing to get up for.
The next week I lost my best friend. Tyler has gone to New York and I didn't even get to say goodbye. The way I spoke to him over Calvin finishing with me was nothing more than malicious. I understand I hurt him and I wanted to make it right but by the time he had his call to go to New York the last person he wanted to say goodbye to, was me. Since then, he has rejected my calls. I’ve lost the two men I truly loved in my life, the two men that meant everything to me.
How can my life stoop any lower?
Oh wait, it has; I started working for Mauricio at MF tailors, having to dress like fucking Sophia for work every day; overly sophisticated.
I swear the word was designed for her name.
I needed money with deciding against going to New York. I never had the mind set to apply for a job of my own either and I wasn’t living off my savings that I had from my parents any longer. I didn’t want to.
Mauricio took full advantage of my state of mind and gave me another opportunity to work for him. What could I say? Fight against him? What am I even fighting for? Is there anything worth fighting for in my life?
Calvin made me see sense for a while. To fight, to have a choice. He made me fight to have my voice be heard. But now, what’s the point?
Now I’m subjected to Mauricio’s office
s, working on designs for suits, but that’s not the thing that bothers me the most. The thing that bothers me is having to get on with the step dad who hit me, the step dad who I don't even recognize any more. The man I despise more than my job.
Fuck, my life sucks right now.
, Olivia, I wish you would try and enjoy yourself, at least. It’s hasn't gone unnoticed of how miserable you look."
Yes, my mom has had a
dig at me all day, for weeks in fact. Acting like I’m nothing but an inconsiderate nuisance.
"Mom, I’m trying. There’s only so much fakery I can put on."
"Oh for Christ sake Olivia. It’s your sister’s big day, stop being so selfish."
off in her silver satin just off the shoulder, knee high dress. Looking very much Veronica Fahoney. I’m just glad she's taken off that ridiculous oversized hat. I couldn’t take her seriously when she wore it.
I stand up from my chair and walk over to Elise. She brings me into joyful embrace when she spots me.
"It's so nice to see you see happy Elise, you deserve this more than anyone."
“Aw, sis, thank you. I can't stop saying my new name, Elise Parl
e, isn’t it crazy?"
"It's perfect. Mauricio’s face when he wasn’t allowed to give you away; priceless."
"I didn't mean to be hurtful Liv’s, but my granddad has been more of a father to me than Mauricio has. Besides, it would have been completely hypocritical of me if I did let him give me away. I mean, he doesn’t have me really as a daughter to give away, you know?"
Mauricio was informed a while ago that Elise didn't want him to give her away like tradition. Mauricio went crazy and it was frowned upon up here by her family but she was on the brink of calling the wedding off and going somewhere to get married where it would be just her and Dante. So they soon got accustomed to the idea.
I loved the idea.
thank you for being here for me today. I know it must be hard for you seeing me and Dante so happy but...”
I put my hand on her arm to stop her talking, shaking my head, "Don’t you dare say sorry for being happy in front of me, this is
day. The rest is my problem."
She smiles warmly giving me another hug before she’s whisked away by Dante for another dance.
"Ah, Olivia, come dance with your old dad?" Mauricio takes my waist, giving me no choice. My body goes ridged. The contact from him is extremely uncomfortable for me.
We start to dance slowly to Norah Jones, come away with me. I don’t want to dance with him but I can’t make a scene.
For a little while we both say nothing. I know Mauricio is waiting for his chance though. Most of my family are looking on taking photos of us dancing, but when the novelty wears off, he speaks, grasping my hand a little tighter, pulling me into his so he can speak in my ear.
"Now, you know everyone I employ represents me. That also includes my daughters. I know you’re somewhat... Hurt. That man broke your heart didn’t he? And believe me Olivia, if I ever get my hands on him, I’ll show him what a broken heart can feel like...”
I look up at him a little taken back. Now he wants to act the compassionate father?
"What I’m trying to say is, when we get back, I want this shit to stop. I don’t want to
continue seeing your miserable face. I don’t want you going to work, to a job most people dream of, representing me and sitting there despondent. This shit stops, do you hear me? It ends today."
I refuse to listen to this. How dare he? He pulls me back as I try to break free from his grip.
“You have no idea what you’re talking about. You got your own way haven’t you? You got me working for you. Back to doing what you want me to do. And now you think you can you tell me how to feel along with everything else?”
Mauricio becomes irate towards me, his face twists in fury, but Gulia
his sister, dances her way over merrily with a cocktail in one hand. He quickly releases me displaying a phony broad smile.
"Olivia, finally. You’re trying to enjoy yourself."
My face is still fixed on Mauricio, finding myself hating him all over again. He hasn't got a clue how I’m feeling.
"Actually Gulia, I’m going to my hotel room. Goodnight."