Connected by the Tide (25 page)

“I told you this would happen. Substance
abuse always starts small, Bryce.”

“I
only did it once, and I won’t do it again.”

“I hope you’re telling the truth.”

“I am. I got an infection and had to take antibiotics for a while. It was scary.”

“I’m g
lad you learned your lesson—the hard way.”

“I feel like you hate me.”

“You know I never could, man.”

“But you should hate me. I’ve been a shitty brother to you.”

“Everyone makes mistakes, and they regret them. I forgive you, Bryce. Let’s just move on.”

“I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”

“You’re my brother. You’ll always earn my forgiveness.”

He nodded. “I’ll be better from now on. I won’t fuck this up again.”

“I believe you.”

He looked at the restaurant then at the ground, his hands in his pocket. “You love her?”

“Madly.”

“You’re going to marry her?”

“I hope so. We still have a ways to go.”

“You still live with Mitch?”

“Technically, but I’m hardly ever there. I’m usually at Ren’s.”

“I could use a roommate.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.
I have two bedrooms. One isn’t being used. It’s empty, actually.”

Henry pondered the idea.

“I know it would help me out.”

“You need the money?”

“No. It’ll just help me not go down that path again.”

“Yeah, I’ll move in with you.”

“Really?”

“I would rather live with you than the assholes I live with now.”

“I’m an asshole, too.”

Henry laughed. “Good point.”

“Let me know when you want to move in.”

“Yeah.
There’s something I want you to do, though.”

“What?”

“I’ve forgiven you for everything, Bryce. You have no idea how much I’ve suffered through all of this, pretended that I was okay when I wasn’t. The only person who’s been there for me, taken care of me, and loved me was Ren. I needed you, but you weren’t there. If I can forgive you for that, you can forgive Mom or at least try. I want you to think about that.”

Bryce sighed, annoyed that the subject had resurfaced.

“Just think about it.”

“I’ll think about it
, but I won’t change my mind.”

Henry met his look. “I know you’re better than this.”

Bryce didn’t meet his gaze.

“Goodnight,” Henry said as he walked away.

“Henry?”

“What?” he said as he turned around.

“I like her.”

“Thanks.”

33

“Why don’t you just live with me?” Renee asked.

“I would love to, baby. It’s too soon.”

“No, it isn’t. I love you.”

“And I love you.”

She sighed. “But if you sleep with me every night, you might as well just move in.”

“I think it will be good for my brother if I move in with him.”

“And it would be good for you if you moved in with me.”

They sat across from each other in the library, working on the
weekly publication of
Penumbra
. Henry sorted through the submissions, most of which weren’t good.

She stared at him. “I’m tired of seeing you take care of everyone else. Now it’s time for you to take care of yourself. And let me take care of you.”

He grabbed her hand. “Baby, I’m okay. He said he would make an effort.”

“That’s the drug addict motto.”

“He’s not a drug addict. He tried hard drugs once and said he would never do it again. I believe him. He’s never reached out to me like this. I need to meet him halfway.”

“Could you just spend more time with him or something? Why do you have to live with him?”

He smiled at her. “Baby, our day will come. I wouldn’t want to move in with you unless we’re engaged or something.”

“Then let’s get engaged.”

He looked at her, seeing the seriousness in her eyes. “Let’s get through school first.”

“Coen and Sydney are getting married.”

“And they rushed into it, if you ask me.”

“They seem pretty happy.”

“I’m sure they are. I can’t ask you to marry me if I can’t take care of you. I’m sorry. Call me old-fashioned, but that’s how I am.”

She growled. “Why can’t you just be a jerk?”

He laughed. “You want me to be one?”

“Right now I do.”

He sorted through the papers. “We don’t have enough submissions—at least good submissions.”

“I guess we could add our own.”

“But isn’t that unfair?”

“It’s not our fault
most of them suck.”

“Well, our gift card idea worked. We got more submissions.”

“But they all are terrible.”

He laughed. “We’ll figure it out.”

“Do you have something we could use?”

“I have a few poems.”

“We could just put it under a fake name. No one would ever know.”

“So we would be doing most of the submissions?” he said with a laugh.

“I need them to be good. I’m putting it on my resume.”

“Okay. I think I have one I can use.”

“I’m sure it’s amazing.”

“I doubt it’s as good as anything you could do.”

“I’m not good at poetry.”

“You could do a short story.”

“Most of them aren’t short enough.”

“We’ll throw something together. Don’t stress about it.”

“I’ll try.”

Henry picked the ones
they were going to submit. “We just need one more.”

“Do you have the poem with you?”

He looked through his computer until he pulled it up. “Yeah.”

“Let me read it.”

He flinched. “Uh, let’s just put it in. I already edited it.”

“Don’t be embarrassed, Henry. I’m sure it’s fine.” She took the computer and faced the screen.

Henry wasn’t embarrassed about his poem. He knew it was good. It was directly from the heart. There was another reason why he didn’t want her to read it.

She covered her mouth as she stared at the screen. Her eyes looked lifeless and empty, liked
she’d lost someone she loved. Her eyes coated with tears, but she didn’t let them fall. “It’s—good,” she whispered.

Henry said nothing.

“Sydney?”

He didn’t answer
. There was no need.

She cleared her throat then blinked her tears away. Henry felt worse than he ever had. It was obvious how hurt she was. Now he felt like an idiot for using the poem. He was just trying to help Ren. He never expected her to actually read it. And all his poems were about Sydney. There was no way to get around it.
“Baby, I love you so much.”

“We’ll use it.” She acted like she hadn’t heard him.

Henry fell silent, knowing nothing he said would make this better. She put her flash drive in the computer then copied it. She turned back to her computer and finished the layout of the paper then saved it. “I’ll give this to Dr. Webb.”

Henry still didn’t say anything.

“Well, I’m going to head home.”

He knew she was upset. They went everywhere together. The fact that she wanted to be alone told him everything he needed to know. “Okay,” he whispered.

She grabbed her belongings and shoved them into her purse. Henry stood up and walked with her out of the library and to the parking lot. They said nothing during the walk. It felt awkward and painful. Henry wanted to smack himself for being so stupid.

She walked to her car
, and Henry came behind her. She got inside and tried to shut the door without saying goodbye to him or addressing him. Henry steadied the door with his hand. “I love you.”

She didn’t look at him. “I love you
, too.”

“Text me when you get home, please.”

“Why?”

“I just want to make sure you got there okay.”

“Okay.”

He stepped back and let her shut the door.
He watched her drive off and disappear from the lot, his heart sinking in his chest. Sad, he went home. When he got to his apartment, he collapsed on his bed in his bedroom, waiting for her to text him. When his phone vibrated, he grabbed it quickly. When he saw it was Bryce, he sighed.

So, you moving in or what?

I’ll start bringing my shit over tomorrow.”

What’s wrong
?

Henry didn’t curse very often
, so his brother knew something was bothering him. He typed on the phone.
Bad day.

Wanna
talk about it? I have to tell you something anyway.

I guess.

Tacos?

I’ll be there in fifteen
. Henry put his phone back in his pocket. It vibrated again, so he pulled it out.

Home

It was the shortest message he had ever received from Ren. He wanted to drive over there, but he knew he had to give her space. Nothing he said would change her feelings or pain. She was entitled to be upset. He would make an apology when she was feeling better.

Thank you

He left the house and drove to the taco shop where he was meeting his brother. Bryce was already sitting inside when Henry got there.

Henry collapsed in the seat across from him.

Bryce pushed the tacos toward him. “I just ordered for you. Number two, right?”

Henry nodded then shoved one into his mouth.

“So, what’s on your mind?”

“Ren is upset with me.”

“Why?”

“It’s a long story. I used to be in love with Sydney.”

“Does she know that?”

“Of course.
I wanted to ask out Ren for a while, but I didn’t because I had feelings for someone else. Long story short, we got together anyway because she said she was okay with it.”

“You’re still in love with Sydney
?”

“Not at all.
I only love Ren.”

“Then I don’t understand the problem.”

“She read an old poem I wrote for Sydney, and it made her upset. I’m pissed at myself for letting her read it. That was stupid on my part.”

“I understand why she’s hurt, but I don’t think she should be mad at you. When did you write this poem?”

“Like, a year and a half ago.”

“Yeah, then there’s no reason why she should be upset.”

Henry shrugged. “I can understand why she would be. That couldn’t have been easy to read.”

“Is she going to leave you?”

“No,” Henry said quickly. “She’s still talking to me.”

“I would be really surprised if she did leave you. I don’t think anything could keep that girl away from you.”

Henry raised an eyebrow. “Why do you say that? You met her one time for, like, five minutes a week ago.”

“I can just tell.”

He thought the response was an odd one, coming from his brother, but he didn’t comment on it. Henry ate one taco, then put it down. “What’s your news?”

Bryce
pushed his empty basket away. “I went to Mom’s last night.”

Henry dropped his taco. “What?”

He nodded.

“You did?”

“I said that, didn’t I?”

Henry was too surprised to snap at his smart
-ass comment. “What happened?”

“Mom cried, cried, and cried. I told her I was sorry for disappearing for so long.”

“Did you forgive her for what she did?”

He leaned back in his chair and looked at the table. “I said I would work on it.”

Henry nodded. “That’s awesome.”

“Jacklyn still seems upset with me. It’ll take time for her to warm up to me again.”

“She’s just scared you’ll leave again.”

“I won’t.”

“What changed your mind? When I saw you the other night, you seemed set in your ways.”

He shrugged. “I just changed my mind.”

Henry raised an eyebrow. “You never just change your mind.”

“Well, I did.”

“What aren’t you telling me?”

“Does it matter? I did it, right?”

Henry decided to let it go. His brother was right. The important thing was that he did it. “How do you feel?”

He shrugged.
“A little better.”

“It’ll get easier from now on.”

“I hope so.” He leaned forward and crossed his arms over his chest. “Are you still friends with Sydney?”

“Of course.”

“Ren doesn’t mind?”

“No. If I had feelings for her, I would admit it. I don’t. I’m over her.”

“She’s getting married soon?”

“Really soon.”

“Are you her maid of honor?” he teased.

“No. I’m giving her away.”

“Wow.”

“She doesn’t have a father. I was the closest thing.”

“That’s cute, I guess.”

“It’s her day. I’ll do whatever she wants.”

“So, I’m not going to meet her?”

“Why would you? She doesn’t mean anything to me. She’s just a friend.”

“She’s still important to you, right?”

“Ren is the only girl I’ll introduce to my family. She’s the love of my life.”

“Wow. Someone is in love.”

“I didn’t make that clear?”

“Good thing you both feel the same way.”

“And how would you know?”

“I can tell.”

Henry’s phone vibrated in his pocket. His
heart leapt when he realized it was probably Ren texting him. Maybe she wanted him to come over so they could have make-up sex. He wanted to see her so much. It wasn’t Ren.

He took the call.
“Hey, Syd.”

“Can I come over?” She was crying.

“What’s wrong?” he said immediately.

“Coen and I—we had a fight. Can I sleep there?”

“Shouldn’t Coen leave the house?”

“He did. I can’t stay here if he isn’t here.”

“Yeah—of course. You want me to come get you?”

“No, I’ll drive.” She sniffed.

“I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah.”
She hung up.

“I have to go.”

“Everything all right?”

“I have
no idea.” He stood up then dashed through the doors, leaving his brother in the booth. He’d explain it to Bryce later. Henry got into his car, then drove home. He waited outside for Sydney to show up. Her Jeep rounded the corner, then parked in front of his house. He rushed to her.

“
Syd, everything okay?”

She wiped her tears away. “No.”

“What’s going on?”

“It’s a long story.”

“Is the wedding off?”

“No, of course not.”

Henry breathed a sigh of relief.

“We’re just fighting. But he’s really pissed.”

“Let’s go inside and talk about it.”

“Okay.”

They entered the apartment then went into his bedroom. She lay on the bed and pulled the covers over her. Henry sat at the edge of the bed, on top of the covers.