Convince Me (Holton Series #1) (5 page)

After Julie left, she told him, “I
do have a telephone.  There is no need for you to walk down here. 
Just call next time and I’ll send Julie right back.”

Steven grinned.  “But then, I
wouldn’t get to see you.”

“That’s the whole point,” Anna
snapped.  “I don’t want to see you.”

His grin faded and Steven looked at
her with his beautiful blue eyes serious and thoughtful.  Anna felt her
heart begin to pound and her palms became damp.  Steven continued to watch
her and Anna had to resist the urge to turn and flee.  Instead, she
returned his gaze steadily.

“That’s not what your kiss told
me,” he said softly.

Anna turned away from him then. 
She knew she had no response to that statement.  The memory of their kiss
had haunted her all night and Anna knew she had been a willing participant,
which was why she wanted to avoid Steven now. 

She turned back and saw him
standing by the door completely still waiting for her.  He was waiting for
something – something from her.  She suddenly remembered what he had
said about telling him to walk away and she knew if she asked him now he would
do so.  Anna took a deep breath, ready to tell him to leave but then she
looked at him again.  She really looked at him this time.  He was
tense as if waiting for her to strike out at him.  For the first time, she
realized he was scared too.  She couldn’t do it.  She couldn’t send
him away.  She just wasn’t ready to lose him forever.  Instead, she
tried to explain.

“I don’t need this kind of pressure
right now.  I have too much to do setting up this office and getting
settled in a new town.  I need to spend some time alone.  I need time
to think, to get comfortable with where I am and where I am going.”

“Alright, I can understand that,”
Steven said, “but there is no reason why we can’t be friends.  We can put
this attraction on hold for a while but, Anna, it is not just going to go
away.”

Anger boiled in her but she refused
to let him see it.  He was right but she didn’t need him to point it out
to her.  Coldly, she responded, “Fine, but I meant what I said.  I need
time and you need to back off.”

She watched with satisfaction as a
matching anger flashed in his eyes.  She didn’t know why it pleased her to
make him loose his temper but it did.  However, he said nothing but simply
turned and walked out.

Anna sank slowly into her chair and
noticed that her hands were shaking.  How could one man make her shake
with anger one minute and passion the next?

She wasn’t proud of herself. 
She didn’t like the cruel way she had handled the situation.  Anna knew
their attraction was something she was going to have to deal with at some time
but she just wasn’t strong enough now.  She also didn’t like the thought
that she might not see him again.

She need not have worried. 
Steven returned the next day only this time he accompanied Julie.  He was
friendly but never over stayed his welcome.  He didn’t try to see her
alone and gave her the breathing room she had asked for.  Anna was
grateful but a little cautious.  Steven watched her and the look in his
eyes would not let her forget the passion that had flared between them.

They established an uneasy
truce.  Anna tried to treat him with a cool indifference.  She was
polite but distant and Steven never said a word but was as charming and kind as
ever.  He treated her with respect and Anna began to enjoy his visits.

She knew that Julie found the
situation amusing.  Thankfully, Julie managed to refrain from
commenting.  Andrew joined them one day and Anna was beginning to
relax.  She enjoyed the new friendships she was forming and liked being
part of a group.  She began to believe that she and Steven could build a
relationship that she might be able to handle.

On Friday, she realized she might
have been wrong.  The first sign of trouble came from Julie’s reaction to
the news that Anna had a date.  Steven had not joined them for coffee that
day.  Anna had been secretly relieved.  She had to tell Julie about
her date but had been uneasy about saying anything in front of Steven. 
Anna knew her friend would be hurt if she didn’t tell her and in a town the
size of Holton, there was no way Julie wouldn’t have found out later.

Several times during the week, a
man named Jake Carr had visited Anna.  He was a salesman for a real estate
company and was in town trying to convince the Holton City Council to sell some
of their land just on the outskirts of town.  He had talked to several of
the merchants in town including Anna hoping to gain their support.

Jake and Anna had talked business
only a few minutes before Anna explained that she was new to town and couldn’t
make any decision about what was best for Holton.  Their conversation had
soon turned to other things and Jake and Anna discovered that had attended the
same college although not at the same time. 

Like Anna, Jake was
African-American.  The African-American population in Holton was small so
with something in common, the two of them had formed a light friendship. 
Anna found Jake to be amusing and fun and she was relaxed in his company so
when he asked her to have dinner with him his last night in town she had
quickly agreed.

Although afraid to admit it to
anyone other than herself, Anna was hoping that dinner with a charming man
would keep her mind off of Steven.  She had been thinking about him far
too much.  In her heart, she knew it was an act of desperation but she
couldn’t face another long evening all alone with Steven on her mind. 
Jake was safe.  He didn’t stir up all the emotions that Steven did.

She didn’t try to explain any of
this to Julie, as she knew her friend would not understand; however, Anna never
expected Julie’s reaction to the news that she was having dinner with Jake.

“But what about Steven?” Julie
asked in a shocked voice.

“What about Steven?” Anna asked
equally shocked.  Julie’s surprise was so unexpected that Anna wasn’t sure
she even understood the question.

“You told him you didn’t want a
relationship because you needed time to yourself and now you are going out with
someone else?”

“He told you?” Anna said her voice
rising in anger.  “How dare he!  He had no right repeating what I
told him in private.”

“Now, Anna,” Julie said in a
soothing tone.  “It wasn’t like that at all.  Steve didn’t tell
me.  He told Andrew and Andrew told me.”

“And that is supposed to be
better?  Now everyone is talking about my private life.”

Anna rose from the chair and began
to pace in exasperation.  It upset Anna a great deal to know that Steven,
Julie and Andrew had discussed her.  She knew her past was coloring her
objectivity but Anna hated gossip.  She had heard too many whispers and
unkind comments about her mother and the knowledge that people were talking
about her ignited her anger.

She turned to see Julie watching
her with concern.  Julie took a deep breath and tried to explain. 
“Anna, you have to understand.  On Tuesday, when Steve came back to the
office he was so upset that we knew something was wrong.  We are all very
close.  Steven doesn’t get angry very often.  Andrew got him to talk
about it and then because I was so concerned he told me.”

Julie paused.  Anna was still
angry.  She had left Mayville because she was tired of people talking
about her family.  She didn’t like the feeling and hoped it would be
different in Holton where no one knew anything about her.

“Look, Anna, I guess you should
know,” Julie was saying.  “I’m nosy.  Most people are kind enough to
say I have a very curious steak, but I’m just really nosy.  Anna, please
believe me, we never meant any harm.”

Anna’s anger began to fade. 
She knew Julie well enough now to see she was telling the truth.  They
were a very close group and if Steven was upset, Andrew and Julie would have
been concerned.  She sighed softly and sat down.

“Nosy, huh?” she said with a slight
smile.

“Very,” Julie replied, still a
little cautious.

“Sorry, Julie,” Anna said
embarrassed.

“No.” Julie reached across the desk
to grab her hand.  “I’m sorry.  I should have kept my mouth shut but
Anna, Steven is not going to be happy about this.”

“He doesn’t have to be happy. 
It is none of his business,” Anna replied.

Julie didn’t look convinced but she
said nothing and left soon after.  Anna tried to keep from feeling
guilty.  It was not unreasonable.  She didn’t owe Steven
anything.  She knew she had the right to date whomever she wanted but Anna
couldn’t quite shake the feeling that she was cheating on Steven.  Why did
she feel guilty?  She had only known the man a couple of weeks.

It wasn’t the best way to start off
an evening and Anna was a nervous wreck by the time Jake arrived to pick her
up.  It didn’t take long for him to notice and question her.  Anna
decided to tell him a little bit about the situation.  Jake was kind
enough to say he understood and immediately tried to put her at ease by saying
they would simply have dinner as friends.

Unfortunately, Jake had planned a
very romantic evening.  There was only one good restaurant in town. 
The King’ Court was an upscale establishment with cloth napkins and fine
wine.  As it was a Friday night, the restaurant was crowded and Anna saw
several people she knew.  There was no way that the news of her date would
not reach Steven.  Anna was unable to relax and the rest of the evening
was very awkward.

“I don’t suppose there is any
reason for me to call you again, is there?” Jake asked when they arrived at her
door.

“I’m sorry,” Anna said
seriously.  She was sorry.  Jake was a good man and had been the
perfect gentleman.  He thanked her for a lovely evening and lightly kissed
her cheek.  Anna was grateful for his sensitivity.  She wished she had
felt more attracted to him.  He was the kind of man Anna enjoyed being
around.  He was intelligent and undemanding.  He didn’t try to rule
her life.  Unfortunately, Anna knew Jake would never make her forget
Steven.  There was simply no spark between them.

After Jake left, Anna glanced at
the clock and realized it was only ten p.m.  Anna laughed at herself and
tried to remember the last time she was home by ten after a date.  She
couldn’t remember.

Anna slept fitfully that night. 
Most of her things had not yet arrived from Mayville and she had to sleep on an
air mattress until the movers arrived in the morning with her furniture. 
Anna tried to convince herself that was why she had trouble falling asleep that
night and why she overslept the next morning.

The movers arrived on time and she
was so busy the rest of the weekend that she did not have time to worry about
Steven and his reaction to her date.

Monday morning dawned bright and
clear.  Anna was glad to leave her apartment to return to the working
world.  After two days sorting out all her possessions, Anna was ready for
a break.  She happily returned to work.

Julie again joined her for coffee
and Anna refrained from asking about Steven.  Julie did not volunteer any
information but simply asked Anna about her weekend.  Anna assumed that
Steven was avoiding her but she soon discovered she was wrong.  He arrived
right before lunch and one look at his face told Anna he had heard about her
date and was very angry.

She watched with trepidation as he
firmly shut and locked the door behind him before advancing across the
room.  Anna knew she should object to his high-handed behavior but she was
too shocked to say anything.  She had never expected to see Steven so
furious.  The anger she had witnessed before was nothing to what he was
displaying now.  He glared at her, his face stiff and unyielding. 
His body was tight and his hand clenched at his sides.  Her heart began to
pound and she wondered if this was the way her mother had felt right before her
father began to beat her.  Anna held her breath and waited for the
explosion.  It never came.

Steven walked over to the desk and
sat down in the chair opposite her.  He stared at her a minute, studying
her face as if he was looking for something and then suddenly the anger simply
disappeared.

“I think you owe me an
explanation,” he said softly.

Anna said nothing.  She was in
shock.  What had happened to all that anger?  Was he really able to
let it go so quickly?  She stared at him wondering who was the real Steven
Carson.

“Anna,” he said prompting her.

“What?” she asked, still somewhat
confused.

“An explanation, Anna.  You
told me you didn’t want a relationship right now but you go out with some guy
no one even knows.”  The anger began creeping back into his voice.

“I don’t have to explain anything
to you,” she said defensively.  “I can date whomever I please.”

Steven rose quickly from his chair
and walked over to the window to stare out into the street.  For a moment,
he said nothing then he turned to look at her.  His face was perfectly
still and Anna realized she had no idea what he was thinking.  He nodded
once.

“You’re right,” he said.  “You
don’t owe me anything.  I had hoped you would simply want to tell
me.  I guess I was wrong.  I’m sorry, Anna.  I was out of line.”

In shock, Anna watched him turn to
the door and open it.  He paused and then gave her one sad smile and
walked out.

Anna stared at the door wondering
what had just happened.  Steven’s reaction totally confused her. 
With a sinking feeling, Anna wondered if she had chased him away for
good.  She was afraid of her feelings for him but she wasn’t ready to let
them go completely.

Late that night, Anna had the
nightmare.  She hadn’t had the dream in years and she worried about the
timing.  Was Steven’s anger the cause of the dream?  Did she fear him
like she did her father?  The nightmare was always the same.  It
began with her father beating her mother and then yelling at her.  She
always woke just when the house was engulfed in flames.  Her father had
died in a fire and although Anna had been told that the cause was cigarettes,
she had never been able to shed the belief that she was at least partially to
blame.