Dark Flight (The Shadow Slayers) (7 page)

His fingers tightened, slipping under the hem of her tank top and digging in to the sensitive skin over her hip bones. “I won’t allow it.”

She ran a hand down his chest and slowed at the trail of hair that disappeared into his waistband. “How hard do you think it would be for me to convince a silver-wing to take me to see Mazeki?”

His skin flared in gooseflesh, and it made tiny pebbles of his flat, rosy-beige nipples. “In that tank top, with the way it pulls low over your chest, allowing just a little light to filter in between your breasts…I bet it would take you all of two minutes to convince one of them. And when I caught him, I’d rip his fucking head off.”

“And what favors do you think I’d have to do for Mazeki to get him to take Julian’s place in the battle? I’m thinking a kiss wouldn’t cut it.” It was a dangerous game she was playing, but with the way her blood was running hot, it suited her just fine.

“With everything I’ve done to keep you safe, you wouldn’t dare, you little minx.”

She tucked her fingers into the top of his pants and pulled him closer, her soft belly pressing into his firm bulge. “Then keep an eye on me, Gavin. Because the only way you’ll know I’m not getting into trouble is if I’m by your side.”

“Why does that make sense to me?” He laughed and scrubbed a hand across his face. “I think my IQ drops when your hands are on my skin.”

She’d won—she could already feel it when the tension in his shoulders relaxed a fraction. “I know I’ll be safer with you than anywhere else on the planet. You won’t regret it. We trained for this, and we’re ready.”

He shook his head, as though not believing he’d conceded. “So what did Mazeki tell you to do?”

“We only need one thing to give to Julian by the time his training is done…”

“Yes?”

She curled her fingers into his waistband for balance. “We need a feather.”

“Whose?”

“The Sanctiáre.”

Gavin blew out a breath. “By Hexa’s hairy ass, princess. Please tell me you’re joking.”

“Uh…nope. But just one. And I have a map.”

He brought his hand to cover hers and squeezed. “Then let’s get started.”

Chapter Six

“We’ve never tested how long you’re able to withstand the Shadowland. You haven’t gone much longer than an hour on your earlier visits,” Gavin pointed out once they’d touched down in the Land of Desolation.

Kara took a few seconds to get her bearings. “It doesn’t feel great, but I don’t think the flashing is as bad now as it used to be. I’m hoping that bodes well for a little longer visit.”

“It’s not as bad? Then why does your skin have a greenish hue, like you just ate rotten seafood?”

“I used to pass out, remember? I couldn’t even recall flashing half the time. And now look—I’m sick as a dog but fully conscious the entire time.”

Gavin shook his head. “To tell you the truth, traveling to and from the Shadowland is hard even for us silver-wings. I compare it to being birthed, so I suppose you’re doing well enough—for the moment.”

“Really? It’s still hard on you? You and Jaxon never complain about it.”

“I’ve endured it for a thousand years. But if you would enjoy a sense of solidarity, I can let loose with a moan next time.”

“Smart-ass.”

As Gavin took the map from her grip and studied it, Kara looked around. This was the first time she’d been back to the Land of Desolation since Julian—no. She couldn’t go there. She couldn’t think about it and stay focused on her task.

But the harder she tried to push the memories away, the faster they flooded in. She closed her eyes, trying to picture anything but the expanse of clouds around her and the land she would forever associate with her first true lover.

The last time she was here, Kara hadn’t waited for Gavin to pick her up and fly her; she’d started a fast walk in the direction of the apartment Julian had fashioned. She was surprised when she got closer and saw the leaves of a tall poplar around the other side of the small building and Julian stretched out beneath it.

“Julian!” she’d called and loped to him. He rose and caught her when she flung herself into his arms, but his body felt stiff. “God, I missed you!”

“It hasn’t even been a week,” he replied.

She’d cocked her head sideways and wrapped her arms around his waist, twining her fingers around his lower back. “Are you okay? I’m kind of worried about you and how down you’ve been lately. It’s gonna be okay, you know.”

“Which part?”

“All of it.”

When she’d reached up on her tiptoes to kiss him, his lips felt rigid and unyielding. Even on the day she’d found him in the alley, risen as a black-winged Aniliáre, she’d never experienced that with him. She pulled back and searched his eyes. “What’s going on?”

“I’m tired, Kara.”

Her heart had lurched. “Oh my God, are you getting sick again? I thought the Shadowland cured you of that?”

“No, I’m tired of…this.” He gestured between them. “As much as I’ve enjoyed your company, I’m not sure an hour a week is working for either of us.”

Her lips had pulled into a confused smile. “It’s only an hour a week for now. You’ll learn how to travel to the surface—I know you will. Or maybe I can start extending my stays here in the Shadowland. I know things between us haven’t been easy, but have a little faith. It’ll get better soon.”

His jaw muscles had twitched. “And then what?”

She’d stepped back and wrapped her arms around her middle. “What do you mean?”

“Let’s say one of us does gain the ability to travel to the other realm more frequently. What then? Marriage? Children? I’m a fucking black-wing, Kara, and I don’t plan on letting the first woman I’ve slept with cage me and clip my wings. This has gone on long enough.”

Everything around her had stilled. Her heartbeat. The movement of the clouds across the infinite sky. The rise and fall of Julian’s chest. “You’re breaking up with me?”

He’d snickered. “If that’s what you’d prefer to call it, I suppose I am.” She couldn’t respond, and after a minute he added, “Consider yourself lucky. I could keep you here as a play toy, but I don’t wish you ill. I appreciate all you’ve done for me. But now that time has come to an end. You need to go back to the surface where you belong.”

Her eyes had burned with the feeling of unshed tears, and she’d wondered if it hadn’t been so bright out, they might even be glowing red. “You bastard. You fucking bastard.”

His words had been hard and brittle, but the strange look on his face was something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Like he felt sick. And maybe he did. Sick of looking at her. Sick of her love for him. Sick of sharing his life with her.

She’d tilted her chin high. “Well, I’m glad you brought it up, to be honest. One of us had to say it, and I guess you were just enough of an asshole to get the job done. These past weeks have been ridiculous. I mean, you’re a good lay, don’t get me wrong, but I deserve better than a pseudo-relationship with a man who never remembered me in the first place.”

He’d swallowed and looked into the distance, not meeting her eyes. “Yes, you do. And I wish you the best.”

In a million years, she hadn’t seen it ending like that. It was true that she wasn’t content with what little time they’d spent together, but she couldn’t help the craving she always felt for Julian, like her body wasn’t complete until he was locked inside her.

“Are you still going to help Gavin?” she’d demanded.

His eyes had narrowed, like he was offended, but at least it brought his gaze back to her face. “Why wouldn’t I? I gave my word, and I’m not going back on it. Besides, I’m not planning on living in such a hovel of a kingdom forever. I will master my gifts and take my rightful place amongst these people.”

“Then I guess we really are done here. Have a good life.” As she’d turned, her throat had almost swollen closed with the strain of emotion building there. She’d put her hand to the sun pendant around her neck. “Gavin,” she’d called desperately in her mind.

“Kara!” Julian had said from behind her, and the strong bark of his voice almost had her turning back to look at him. “Have a good life.”

Gavin could feel the crushing sadness in Kara when he looked up from the map and saw her lost in thought. It didn’t take a wild guess to know what had her so upset. It was Julian. It was always Julian.

Despite the reason for Julian’s decision, noble or otherwise, Gavin felt as if a two-ton yoke had been lifted from his shoulders the day the shell of his oldest friend sent Kara away. Being Kara’s personal chauffeur so a virtual stranger could mount her was perhaps the most demoralizing activity he’d ever willingly engaged in—not counting mating Brakken’s females like a stud for hire.

Since the time he’d met Kara, he’d only wanted her. And after these past months of self-imposed celibacy—almost unheard of for his kind—he was starting to feel reckless. Cupping himself, imagining it was Kara, had long since lost its appeal. The desire to love and comfort her with his body was a gnawing need inside him—one he had to push away with every breath simply to be able to draw the next.

“Princess?”

“Yeah?” Kara pulled herself up taller. “I’m ready. Next stop: Raleon’s fawn—whatever that is.”

“I don’t remember exactly where the fawn is, but I can get us close.”

She shook her hair back. “Perfect. Then let’s get going. We have a feather to hunt down.”

When she stepped into the circle of his arms so he could transport her, Gavin pulled her close and rested his chin on the top of her head. He breathed in her scent and willed her courage, though she was nothing if not resilient.

Truth be told, he wouldn’t have wished Julian’s sacrifice on the man he used to know. The old Julian had loved life. His vitality could light up the darkest room. Even if Julian had risen as himself and decided not to share Kara, Gavin could have endured it, because he would have known that Kara had chosen a man who would always treat her well and never leave her unfulfilled.

But everything was different now…and Gavin believed, deep in his being, that Kara deserved better than the risen, broken version of Julian Mercés.

“Are you having trouble flashing?” she asked, peeping up at him with expressionless eyes, as if to mask her pain.

“Just gathering my strength. Now you know the silver-wing’s most guarded secret of traveling in the Shadowland—it isn’t as easy as it looks.” He nuzzled closer. He would never get enough of his princess in his arms, and being there for her when she was suffering was like a gift straight from the Maker. “Almost ready.”

It wasn’t his imagination when Kara squeezed him tighter and pressed her cheek to his bare chest. As for the feel of something wet against her lashes, he couldn’t be sure. She clearly wasn’t ready to talk of what had transpired with Julian, and he wasn’t going to push her.

She cleared her throat. “Ready now?”

He chanced a glance at her face. Yes, her dark brown lashes glistened at their base. “As Mazeki probably told you, there’s no way to flash to the Mount of Truth. I can get us to the first stop on the map and then flash us back to that same location after you rest on the surface. I’m not sure how long the journey will be, but I don’t want you to overstay your welcome here.”

“Too late,” she muttered, glancing into the distance toward Julian’s land.

“I’m sorry?”

“Nothing. But I’m really feeling fine. Even when I…uh—” she cleared her throat again, “—visited Julian before, I never felt worse than a little fatigued when the hour was up. I really don’t understand why everyone makes such a big deal of it.”

“Kara, even females a hundred times your age have to regenerate on the surface. Demiáre can’t remain in this realm indefinitely.”

“I wasn’t suggesting indefinitely, just that you don’t need to be so worried. I’m not going to let the Abyss suck me in for my pride’s sake.”

He laughed and shook his head. So said the woman who was hurting so badly he could feel her pain seeping through his skin, and yet she went on as though the past eight months with her black-wing lover hadn’t meant a thing. “As you say. Let’s get started.”

Kara didn’t know how it was supposed to feel getting dumped. She’d never really had a boyfriend before Julian, so she didn’t have much to compare it to. Still, she wondered if it was normal that after three weeks, she vacillated between wanting to weep and bash her fists into the nearest cloud until it wet its watery pants.

Damn it, she knew that what she and Julian had was nothing more than a glorified booty call, but for eight long months she’d looked forward to the short moments in time when she could touch his body and glory in the fact that it was hers.

And he was here somewhere at this very moment. Maybe at his place. Maybe he was already with Mazeki. But she and Julian were back in the same realm…

Well, screw him and the black wings he flew in on. Maybe she would get a harem going on Mercury Island and see just what else was out there. From all she heard, it was unnatural for a Demiáre female to be monogamous anyhow. Maybe she was only attached to Julian because he was all she knew. “Yeah, that’s it,” she said, agreeing with her self-assessment.