Destined for the Star (Starstruck) (10 page)

”Good, glad to hear it.” He let out a sigh of mock relief.
 

”Plus, the man was gay, wasn’t he?”

”Yeah, true,” he shrugged and laughed. ”So, films remind you too much of your mother?” he asked softly.

She hesitated again.

”It’s more that… Well, you see, my mom and I, ever since I was little we had this Friday night tradition that I loved. We’d make popcorn and then watch a movie together. At the beginning it was just the animated Disney stuff - lots of princess-movies because Mom always let me choose. Then when the boys were older they joined us of course. When I became a teen, the boys were old enough to often spend Friday nights with friends, having sleep overs and stuff. But I always preferred to stay home with Mom. There was nothing I loved more, growing up, then hanging with her as much as possible. Sometimes I think, though I know it can’t be true, that somehow I knew that I wouldn’t get that much time with her and it made me, subconsciously or something, want to spend as much time as possible with her.” Her voice broke and her vision blurred with tears. ”Sorry,” she said, ”I’m okay, I just… you know.” She smiled through her tears, a little embarrassed. ”You must think I’m such a cry baby.”

”No, I think you are amazing - perfect in every way,” he said, with such tenderness, it made her ache with longing. ”If this is too difficult for you to talk about, we don’t have to.”

”It’s okay. I like talking about her with you. I don’t know why because I usually don’t talk about her at all with others. But it’s different with you.”
 

”Anyway,” she continued, ”watching movies with Mom was so much fun. We didn’t always agree on what films to see, and we certainly differed in taste a lot. Mom loved her black and whites and I often wanted to watch more recent films.”

”What kind of movies did you like to watch?”

”Anything that took my fancy,” she smiled, remembering that first day when they had talked about reading. ”I love Hollywood movies, I’m not really into European cinema. Well, maybe British films sometimes, but my taste in movies isn’t very sophisticated I’m afraid. I just want to be entertained or moved. And Italian or French films are way too strange for me. Like most girls I love silly romantic comedies, the cheesier the better.” She shot him a smile. ”I also love political thrillers like ’Syriana’ or ’All the President’s men’ and really good drama with amazing actors like ’Remains of the day’ or ’The Hours’. Nicole Kidman gives me goose bumps every time I watch that movie.”

”Me too, actually. She is beyond incredible as Virginia Woolf.” He smiled at her.
 
”So what other movies did you and your mom watch together?”

”Well, obviously all of Montgomery Clift’s films.”

”Of course,” he smiled. ”Which one is your favorite among those?”

”I think, ’I confess’. Yeah, definitely, that one,” she said, after having thought about it for a second.

”Hitchcock. Yeah, I really like that one too.” He hesitated for split second. ”So why did you stop watching movies?”

”I haven’t seen a single film since Mom died. It hurts too much - it’s like I’ll break in half because she’s not there with me, like she should be. Watching a movie is so intimately connected to her, somehow, that I just can’t. I try to stay away from things that remind me too much of her, still. I don’t know if that makes me a coward, or not. Maybe one day it won’t hurt so much, and I’ll start watching films again. I think it’s an amazing art form, I really do. And it’s wildly entertaining to watch, especially if the actors are any good.”

”So who was your favorite actor back then?” He sounded very curious.

”My favorite actor is Daniel Day-Lewis. I’ve never seen a film with him in it, where he didn’t nail it.”

”I agree, he is one of the very best, ever. Have you seen him in ’A room with a view’?”

”Yes, several times,” she smiled, ”it’s one of my favorites.”

”The character he plays is such a myopic fop, and still he manages to play him with perfect comedic timing without stripping him of his humanity. It’s brilliant.”

She smiled tenderly at him.

”You really love films passionately, don’t you?”

”Yes, I’m afraid I do. I’m a really pathetic film nerd.” He gave her an apologetic smile.

”You’re my lovely film nerd,” she corrected.
 

”Thank you, I like the sound of that. So for the past four years or so you’ve stayed away from anything film related,” he concluded thoughtfully.

”Yes, pretty much. I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I’ve spent a lot of my time in the 1910’s, researching my first novel. In dusty archives and such, I mean. The Royal Library here in Stockholm is one of my favorite haunts. I really am so pathetically boring, Nate. I have no idea what you see in me.”

He chuckled.
 

”Just you wait ’til I return, and I’ll show you exactly what I see in you.” There was a promise in his smoldering gaze that sent a surge of heat through her body.

Chapter 8

Two weeks had gone by since Nate had gone back to the States when he asked her during one of their Skype sessions,

”When I come back, is there any way you think you could get a few days off work so we could go somewhere together, just you and me?”

She hesitated, thinking of how much she’d love to be somewhere alone with him, for a few days and nights…

”You’re blushing, Olivia,” he smiled. ”Where did your mind just go?” he teased her, tenderness filling his eyes. He always looked at her as if she was some big prize and he couldn’t believe his luck.
 

She felt herself blush even deeper.

”I’m sorry,” she looked down at her hands, ”I have a dirty mind.”

She glanced up at him. He was grinning.
 

”I’m glad to hear it. I can be quite naughty myself, when the mood’s right.”

She was locked in by his smoldering gaze, the aching throb in the pit of her stomach intensifying instantly.
 

”God, you’re so beautiful, and when you’re eyes go violet like that…” he murmured.

She had to get back to safer ground, or she would get on a plane herself right away, to go to him.

”I think I can get some time off from work. I still have some vacation days saved up from last summer.”

”Great! Where would you like to go?” he asked, lighting up at the prospect.

She thought about it for a moment.

”If you don’t mind living a bit primitively, my grandparents have a small cabin in the mountains up north. We could go there. They’re never there this time of year. And it’s quite remote, no neighbors.”

”Sounds perfect. How far north is it?”

”It’s about five hours by car, is that okay?”

”Sure, a road trip!” He grinned at her. ”Can I drive?”

”Well,” she teased him, ”that depends. Are you a good driver?”

”Ha! Are you kidding me? I can drive circles around Steve McQueen!” He looked hurt so convincingly that she was just about to apologize, when he flashed his devilish grin at her again.

”Pew,” she exhaled, ”you had me fooled there for a while. I was about to apologize for wounding your male ego.”

”It doesn’t bruise that easily,” he scoffed.

Suddenly someone off screen handed him a large, styrofoam cup of coffee.
 

”Thanks. I really need that if I’m going to stay awake all day,” he smiled gratefully at whoever it was standing there.

She felt a pang of jealousy, and maybe he could sense that when he looked at her.

”This is my trusty assistant. He is the best at ordering coffee in the whole world. Hey, Andy, come here, show your face, man!”

Suddenly a young man appeared next to Nate on her screen. She started a little, taken by surprise.
 

”Hi there, Olivia! I’m Andrew - or Andy for short - this poor sod’s assistant. Wow, you really are beautiful!”

”Hello,” she answered, embarrassed at the compliment, and feeling a little confused, ”how do you know my name?”

”Oh, sorry if I startled you. You are all he talks about nowadays so I feel like I already know you,” he smiled. ”All day long it’s Olivia this, Olivia that.” He lowered his voice conspiratorially, ”I think Nate actually believes you can walk on water or something. I’ve never seen him like this before.”

”Okay, okay, that’s enough!” Nate broke in, pushing Andy off camera.

”Bye for now, Olivia,” she heard Andy’s voice.

”Dude, get out of here. Sadie needs a walk,” Nate called after him.

”Sorry about that, love,” he looked a little embarrassed as he turned back to face her.

”No, that was interesting,” she smiled.

”Yeah, I bet,” he agreed, a little chagrined it seemed. ”He’s always had a big mouth, that Andy-boy. So, where were we?”

”You actually have an assistant? A personal assistant? I thought only Hollywood stars had personal assistants,” she said.

Suddenly he squirmed in his chair, looking uncomfortable. She wondered if she had embarrassed him.

”It’s no big deal, I was just taken by surprise, that’s all,” she said, to ease his mood.

”Well, you know, I travel a lot for work, and he takes care of things at home, with Sadie and everything, when I’m gone,” he said sheepishly.

He looked so cute, she wished she could throw herself at him and kiss him right then and there.
 

”You look so cute when you’re embarrassed - makes me want to kiss you all over,” she said.

”Really?” he asked, self-deprecatingly. ”I really, really wish you were here right now to do just that. I would be a very good boy, and just sit back and take it like a man.”

”I bet you would,” she smiled.
 

”So, you think I’m cute,” he added, clearly pleased at the thought.

”Who doesn’t?” she said, jealousy creeping into her voice.
 

”What do you mean?” he asked, suddenly on edge.

”That’s the first thing Sasha said to me when she saw you at the café, that first day. I believe her exact choice of words were: ’Who is that hot piece of ass?’,” she said drily.

He laughed, suddenly relaxed again.

”Well, lucky for you, I’m only into strawberry-blonde Viking girls with a penchant for dusty, old history tomes.” He cocked his eyebrow at her.

”It’s time,” she heard Andy’s voice off camera. ”Car’s here.”

”Okay, thanks Andy,” Nate replied. He looked distraught at once. ”Sorry, baby, I’m needed elsewhere. If I get the chance I’ll call you in a few hours to say goodnight, all right?”

”Okay,” she tried to smile at him. Already she felt the loss of his face and voice acutely.

”Olivia, I would give anything to get to hold you right now,” he whispered softly.

She smiled, her vision clouding with tears.

”I wish I had something that smelled of you to keep me company,” she said. ”Maybe, next time you leave, I can have one of your t-shirts or something to keep with me?” she asked, feeling shy.

”Of course, sweetheart. I should have thought of that myself.”

”Nate, you’re gonna be late,” she heard Andy’s stressed voice, somewhere in the background.

”All right, I’m coming!” he called back without taking his eyes off her. ”I’m counting the seconds ’til I can hear your voice again, love.”

”Same here,” she smiled.

”Bye for now,” he said and looked like he wanted to say something else.

”Bye. Keep safe today,” she answered and disconnected, so he wouldn’t see how much it scared her to say goodbye to him. She always felt as if she would never see him again. She couldn’t shake the feeling that he was too good to be true.
 

She sighed, and decided to try and lose herself in research for her next novel. She wasn’t sure of the entire storyline yet, but she knew it would come together when it had stewed in her mind for a while longer.
 

* * *

Nate called her a few hours later, when she had settled into bed with her battered copy of Jane Austen’s ’Persuasion’, to try and get her mind off of a very handsome cowboy too far away for comfort.

”Olivia? Did I wake you?”

”No, no, I’m still awake, trying to not drive myself crazy with thoughts of a certain cowboy.”

He laughed at that.

”I’m conceited enough to take for granted you mean me, when you say that.” His husky voice sent goosebumps skittering across her skin.

”Actually, I was thinking of John Wayne. He’s so sexy in ’The quiet man’,” she couldn’t resist teasing him.

”Hrmph. Just you wait, darling, until you’re within arm’s reach and I’ll show you sexy,” he promised darkly.

”Is that a promise?” she smiled.

”You bet,” he said, his voice full of emotions she couldn’t name.

”I’m afraid I only have a few minutes,” he continued. ”I’m trying to squeeze in as many things as possible every day now, so I can get back to Stockholm sooner.”

”You sound exhausted, Nate,” she said, suddenly worried. ”You’re not working yourself too hard? I’m fine, I can take the wait, I promise,” she assured him.

”No, I’m fine. Don’t worry, love. I’m doing this for me, so I can see you again before I lose my mind completely.”

Could it really be that he missed her as much as she missed him? The thought seemed crazy to her, but maybe, just maybe, he really did care for her?
 

”Okay, then,” she said, ”but please, take care of yourself. I can’t stand the thought of you working yourself too hard.”

”Please, don’t worry about me, Olivia. I promise you, I’m fine,” he said, tenderly. ”I’m just a little tired, that’s all. These meetings I’m in all day, every day, are insanely boring and repetitive, and it wears me out after a while. It’s actually better for me to get them over with as quickly as possible.”

”Nate,” she said, suddenly overcome with the intensity of her feelings. She wanted to tell him she loved him, but she was terrified of scaring him off. She was sure it was love she felt for him but it was insane to feel that this early. She had only known him for a couple of weeks.
 

”What is it, love?” he encouraged, waiting for her to go on.

”I’ve never felt this way about anyone before,” she finally whispered. ”It scares me,” she admitted.