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Authors: Yara Greathouse

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BOOK: Dismantled (Girls on Top #2)
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She gives me a confused look. “I guess… My name is Marcy.” She scratches her head with a child-like quality. She still looks confused, but has not loosened her hold on the gun.

“Good, that’s really great, Marcy. Thank you. Now, please tell me what brought you here today.” Her brown eyes suddenly frown, and suddenly her stare becomes cold and dark. I feel chills going through my body and I realize this is a life or death situation.

“Months ago, you saw me having fun with a group of people. There were smiles from afar, a few drinks and a lot of flirting. We were attracted to each other…” her voice lowers a bit, so I think she is calming down. “… then we have the most passionate night together. I still remember the way you touched me.” Her free hand moves over her breast and continues down until she reaches her pelvis. Her crying eyes are pinned to mine and I notice with her free hand she is touching between her legs. Oh, man. This girl has lost it. “It was pure heaven. Hours later you had your fill, got dressed and left. Didn’t even say goodbye.”

“Look, Marcy, I’m sorry. That’s just the way I am. What else did you expect me to do? I’d explained that I stay away from relationships or any type of commitment…”

“Shut up! Shut your nasty, ugly, lying mouth! You have no right to say
shit
to me! You have not earned that right! You actually think I’m pissed out of my mind because I wanted a relationship with you?”

She laughs and sounds like a crazy person. She pulls on her hair again and starts pacing from one wall to the other. What the fuck should I do? Damn it! I just need her to keep talking. If she’s busy talking, maybe she will be too busy to start shooting. I lift my hand to wipe the sweat from my forehead, as I feel it dripping down the sides of my face and down my back. “I mean it, Marcy, I’m sorry that you feel this way. I was very clear…”

“Oh, yes!
Very
clear. I’ve got you now. I have all your fucking attention, don’t I? Do you want to try to run out like you do after you fuck somebody and then I can shoot you in the back? Or should I shoot your miserable dick off instead and see what kind of dating life you would get then.” She moves the gun down a bit. “Your problem is not that you bed too many girls. Your problem is the way you treat us after the fact. Like we don’t exist. What kind of shit is that? I may be an easy lay, but I’m a human being. I have feelings. Don’t you understand that you cannot make someone the center of everything for a few hours and then act like they never existed? It makes the other person feel bad, like they are worthless… In this scenario the only worthless person is you! YOU!”

She screams and her words make me flinch. I can actually feel her pain. I should not care, but deep inside somehow I do care. Even though it is obvious Marcy’s mental state is not well, I had something to do with this final result. And I do feel bad. I’m not mean or hateful, and at this moment I wish I could, some way, somehow, lift some of the burden off of her.

When she’s done screaming, she takes a step forward and raises the gun until it’s pointed right between my eyes. Her tears are heavy now. She’s really upset and I feel… I actually feel bad for her. To top it off, I have no idea what I can do to help ease her pain and her hate. Sympathy has never been my forte, nor can I imagine the way she’s feeling because I haven’t been in that situation. Ever. Regardless of what I choose to do, I feel as if it’ll fail.

“Please, don’t do this…” My eyes divert to the door because I suddenly hear sirens and realize the police are finally coming our way. Shit!

Her head tilts towards the door. “Is that the police? How…” She is looking around everywhere within the room, then, she notices the phone still in my hand. “Is that phone on?”

I swallow hard but choose not to answer.

“Cut that shit off and put it down!”

I slowly show her that I cut off the phone and crouch down placing it carefully on the floor.

“Get your ass back up! Who the hell was on the phone?”

As I slowly get up, I try to explain. “It was my roommate. Look I’m sure we can work something out. If you put your gun down and leave my house, I won’t press charges. You can disappear and go about your life. Move away, start anew, and don’t ever sleep with pricks like me
ever
again.” I am pleading to her shamelessly. I don’t want to die this way. I can hear the sirens very close now. Come on, COME ON!

“No! I’m going to do this! You are going to pay the price to know what it’s like to damage somebody’s life. All my friends saw me leave with you that night! They think I’m trashy and worthless! They look at me differently now. My own family feels sorry for me. They constantly whisper and talk to each other, they are talking about ME! My life’s ruined – can’t you see that? You ruined me! You can’t use people and expect them to be all right with that! Do you understand how hard it is not to be wanted by anyone? It’s over, Traxx. From this moment, your life as you know it, it’s no more! No one will want you, either.”

This is it! The police are going to be here a few minutes too late. I see the pain and torture in the tears brimming from her eyes. I truly feel pain for what I’ve done to her and to so many others. I really am scum. Whatever happened in my past that shaped me into this substandard human being is irrelevant. I realize a little too late that what those girls of my past used to do to me, have nothing to do with the girls of my present. Years of feeling betrayed, humiliated and - most of all – hurt, are thrown on my face as I think of things that I’ve done and come to regret. Why couldn’t I see things clearly before? I should not have taken it out on them. I’m too late for that now. I can’t leave this world and not face up to what I did to this woman…

With sorrow and sadness in the recognition of my faults and the knowledge that my life was about to end, I look at her one last time, eye to eye, while I whisper the words she should have heard long time ago. “I’m really truly sorry for what I’ve put you through. You didn’t deserve it. I’m sorry for the past, I am sorry for the here and now. My heart has been cold and closed for so long, it takes an incident like this to make it feel again.” I laugh dryly.  “And… I’m feeling you. I’m feeling your pain. I’m feeling your despair. Most of all I’m feeling your need to put an end to it all. I understand, because some years ago I was you. My heart was destroyed and at that moment I made promises to myself that led me to be someone I never expected. I had to make choices that had me treating people in the worst possible way.”

In that moment, I knew that by looking for ways to protect myself, I had become one of them: a person who caused pain to others, a bully and a hater of my own accord. I loathed the person that I’d become. “I wish you can find peace within you soon and that you can move on. Live your life the way you should, with dignity and respect. I’m sorry that you were a victim of my terrible behavior. I deserve this.” I feel tears coming down my face as I close my eyes and wait.

Suddenly, the most painful, haunting wail is coming from the girl. My gut twists and turns as I pop my eyes open and look at her. What befalls next, plays in front of me in slow motion. She’s screaming while turning the gun away from my face, to placing it against her temple. I blink once, twice and when I realize what’s happening, all I want to do is to stop her. I lunge myself towards her and reach with my arms as far out as I can, but I was never close enough. By the time she’s only a step away, her finger pulls the trigger. I’m crying out “No!” when a rain of warmth touches my exposed skin, wets the front of my shirt and hands while the coppery smell fills my nostrils and my brain produces nothing but sadness and regret.

Like hitting a wall, I stop cold long enough to see her lifeless eyes looking at me and her body slowly falling to the floor while I’m falling to my knees. At the same time, policemen enter the house bursting through the door and as I look at them coming towards me, I’ve come undone and my world finally fades black.

 

 

Marcy Smith (four months ago)

Tonight is going to be
the
night. I can feel it. I take my little black dress and lay it on the bed. Looking at the shoe rack that hangs over the door, I look for my sexy black shoes with the rhinestone covered straps. My long brown hair is full of soft waves for extra sexiness. I have applied dark eye shadow for a “smokey” effect. Going to my bathroom, I start to remove the rollers. The medicine cabinet catches my eyes and I play tug of war in my mind: open it – don’t; open it – don’t.

Finally I decide to open it. My medicine bottle sits there, staring back at me. I rub my finger lightly on the label. It has been exactly three weeks since I decided to stop them. I hate medication and the way they make me feel as if I’m trapped inside my mind, unable to express myself. A prisoner of my inner thoughts. I need to be free.  I’m aware of my symptoms and will go to the doctor if they start to manifest. In the meantime, I’m happy.

I skip-dance to my closet and glance to make sure the door to my room is locked before I step inside. I have placed a curtain on the far wall. My fingers itch to touch it and move it out the way so I can admire my masterpiece. I reach and slowly reveal the picture mosaic behind it.
Traxx…

 

I have been following him for weeks since that day at the pharmacy, when I came around the corner and bumped into him and all the items I was carrying in my hands fell inside his shopping cart. As I picked up my things, I noticed the giant box of condoms labeled “
Lifestyles KYNG.
” I felt the hotness travel all the way up to my face, making me blush.

“Is everything okay, miss?”

I could not help it. I had to take a quick look at his package and yes, the guy was well endowed. “Yes,” I smiled, “everything is great. Sorry about bumping into you, but I’m just going to take my things and be on my way.” The smile he gave me melted my panties and I suddenly felt exposed and curiously, I also felt beautiful. To have his total attention for a couple of minutes was the highlight of my day. A female voice came around and bumped me out of my happy place. Then I saw her, blonde, stylish and beautiful. Figures.

“Traxx, did you find the ice cream I want? Oh, hi there.” She looked at him and then at me.

“Ciara, this is….”

“Marcy.”

“Marcy. We just accidentally bumped into each other and she was gathering her things that fell inside the cart.”

I manage to smile a little and waved with a couple of free fingers.

“Okay, see you around Marcy.”

 

That was the moment I realized he wanted to see me again. I had to make it happen. I followed him to her place and waited in my car until he came out and I could follow him to his place. It’s been weeks, but I have documented everything in tedious detail. My mosaic wall can attest to that. And tonight… Tonight I am ready to make my move.

 

 

Ciara (Present day)

Today I was at the receiving end of one of those calls you really never want to get. The sun had started to set as I was getting ready to go out and have a careless evening with my friends. Notso called to tell me that an armed woman had shown up at his place and had locked herself inside the house with Traxx. He was still on the phone as I grabbed my purse, keys and headed to my car.

I’m used to keeping control of myself even as the worst type of situation comes my way thanks to my past years in the Army, but I would be lying if I said I was not shaking inside. Many scenarios were going through my mind. My friends are my family. Traxx is one of my best friends. I care deeply for him and I also harbor an inner desire that we could be more than friends one day. I buckle my seatbelt and take off doing sixty in less than four seconds.

As I shifted my car through the backstreets of our town, everything’s a blur. I brush my right eye with my hand, to realize a lonely tear was running down my cheek. Dammit! Please let him be okay. In less than five minutes, I enter the subdivision, slowing down only when I see blue lights flashing on top of at least three police vehicles. There is a fire truck and an ambulance on the street as well. I park as close as I can, as I get out of the vehicle, I feel my feet moving faster as I approach the door. My heart is also beating fast. It’s like a drumline has taken residence inside my chest. Suddenly, a policeman stops me by grabbing my arm. I try to shake him off.

“Excuse me ma’am, but you cannot go in. This is a crime scene.”

“Please,
sir,
remove your hand
.

“I can’t let you through quite yet. The paramedics and the coroner are on the scene.”

“And who, exactly, needs the paramedics?” If he doesn’t take his hand off me, he may need to call his own paramedics. Asshole.

“That is confidential information, as the
incident
is being investigated.”

I look around to see if my best friend, Brianna is around here. She could get through to this guy. I’m sure Notso called her too, especially because she’s a cop. But it’s dark already and all I notice is the eerie sound the tree branches are making against the wind. Is that an omen of bad things to come? Turning to the other side of the street, I spot Notso’s truck. I excuse myself and shake the policeman’s hand off of my arm and start to move towards the giant blond guy who’s like my brother and whom I trust without hesitation. As I get closer to him, I notice he’s talking to a guy who looks like a detective. I also see Brianna and Colton approaching from the opposite direction.

“Notso! Please give me an update.”

“Ciara… He’s okay. Traxx was not hurt. Physically, at least. This is the detective in charge, Cutter Hall. He was asking me a few questions since I was on the phone when all of this went down.”

I looked at Detective Hall and extended my hand in order to introduce myself. “Detective… I’m Ciara Collins. Can we please get an update on what’s going on? By that time Brianna and Colton had reached us, so I introduced them to the detective.

“Detective Hall, I’m with the local police department,” Brianna showed her badge. “Can I please get a debrief on the incident and the current situation?”

“Sure, Officer Gilmore. Please follow me.”

As the detective was turning, I touched his arm. “Detective Hall, can we please see Traxx Maxwell?” My eyes and voice were pleading.

Looking at me with compassion, Detective Hall replied in a low, sympathetic tone, “Sure, Ms. Collins. As soon as the paramedics clear him, I will send Ms. Gilmore to come get you guys. But please, know that there is a chance he may have to be taken to the hospital for further treatment. Some people are unable to come out of shock right away. It takes them some time. Keep that in mind.”

I nodded and forced my hand to release him. I crossed my arms in front of me to act as a barrier for any bad news that may come our way. I felt Notso’s arms wrap around me and I let his familiar cologne soothe my fragile soul. Notso knows my feelings for Traxx. He knows how I have not been in a serious relationship for months… No – correction – years, because I keep hoping that Traxx will see me differently. That he would want to take a chance with me - to let me love him. Now who knows what’s going to happen? Everything could be in turmoil, the unknown.

Colton paced the street and shoved his hands in his now messy hair. He stopped and looked at me. We were both at a loss for words. “Ciara… He is a tough ass, he will be fine.”

Looking at him, I gave him a small smile and whispered “I know.” Notso squeezed me harder. We heard steps come our way from behind us. I glanced back over my shoulder and saw Keagan, Traxx’s cousin and one of my best friends, approach us.

“Where is he?” She immediately asked.

I was sure that Notso has been updating her via text messages until she was able to get here.

Keagan came to me and hugged me from the opposite side where Notso was holding me.

“He’s still inside. The paramedics are with him.”

“Dear God!” Keagan inhaled deeply and her trembling hands came up to her face to wipe the tears that had escaped her eyes.

“The good news is that we don’t think he was hurt, well, at least not physically. Let’s think positive and hope for the best.”

Suddenly, the front door opens, we see Brianna and Detective Hall coming out and behind them is Traxx, covered by a blanket and with a paramedic on each side. I turn and escape from Notso’s and Keagan’s embrace.

Brianna stops in front of me when she reaches our group, and grabs my arm while giving me a sad look. I gently push around her so I can see Traxx, calling after him.

“Traxx!”

Slowly, he lifts his face to look at me. My eyes grow wide, when I notice his cheek and neck peppered in red.  Instead of his usual cocky smile, I see sadness surround all his features and his brown eyes are spark-less, similar to the darkness found in a hollow tree. I gasp loudly and use my hand to cover my mouth so the scream that wants to escape stays secure inside.

“Can we go with him?” I asked the detective.

“Ciara… It’s better if I drive you.” Brianna says close to my ear. I look at her and shake my head from side to side.

Detective Hall looks at me and says “I will be escorting him since our crime scene investigation team needs to gather evidence from his clothes and body, before he can be released.”

I nod to make sure he knows I heard him. My tears are on full cascade mode now and I can’t speak. Traxx looks like a different person. He may not be physically hurt, but the Traxx I know is missing at the moment.

“Come with us, Ciara. I’ll take you to the hospital. Give me your keys, Colton will drive your car there.”

I can’t move. I stay standing there like a statue, watching the paramedics help Traxx inside the ambulance and close the doors behind him. Then, Brianna being true to her impatient self, pats down my jean’s pockets, but can’t find what she’s looking for.

“Colton, she must have left the keys in her car. Can you go check? If they are there just text me and I’ll meet you at the hospital.”

With a head nod, he is on his way.

“Keagan, will you be okay to drive?” Brianna asks.

“I’d rather ride with one of you, actually.”

Notso immediately offers to take her and soon after we’re on the move to our vehicles. Colton’s text came in as we were buckling our seatbelts. We have to wait a bit before we can start driving, because some of the patrol vehicles and other first responders have started to clear out and move about the street.

“Are you going to be okay?” Brianna asks me.

“I think so.” I manage to whisper but knowing Brianna, I know she’s got something on her mind. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, you have never been a ‘crying it out’ kind of girl. So I was wondering what’s up with the river of tears you’ve got going on this evening. No bullshit, please.”

“I care about him, Brianna. What do you want me to say?”

“I think you more than just ‘care about him.’ Tell me.”

Taking a deep breath I start to voice my thoughts. “I’m scared for what this is going to do to him. He was messed up before, you know how he never let anyone get close to him. That’s not normal. I can’t help the way I feel about him. I have always wanted it to be more between us, but stayed away because I didn’t think he was ready. Now, after this experience, I’m worried and scared that he will push me away even further. I don’t know. My head’s just rambling around all the possibilities. Bottom line is that I’m nervous about what tomorrow and the days after will be like.”

Brianna lets out a sigh. “Yeah, you are right. But he’s not alone. He has us. You have us. We will figure it out. You’ll see.”

I wanted to believe her. I really did – and even with all my doubts, I hung tight to her every word and kept quiet until we arrived at the hospital.

 

 

BOOK: Dismantled (Girls on Top #2)
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