Diving In (6 page)

“I’ve taken health class, yes,” I snap,
trying to keep from erupting in embarrassed giggles.

“And you just can’t make it happen?”

“No.”

“Un-fuckin’-believable!” He loudly
exclaims.

“Great, now my best friend who fucks for a
living gets a good laugh from the fact that I’ve never had an
orgasm” I roll my eyes with a smirk as I move to get away from
him.

“I’m sorry,” he snickers, pulling me back and
holding me to his lap. “I’m totally sorry. I shouldn’t laugh or
anything. I’m not trying to make you feel weird about it. I just …
wow! I can’t fuckin’ believe you’ve never come before! You get so
turned on and it seems like it wouldn’t be that hard for you to get
there.”

As if I wasn’t pink enough, now he has to
bring up my indiscreet arousal! Several months ago, James and I
fooled around a little bit back at my house and he told me that my
nipples were the dead giveaway for how turned on I was because they
got hard really quickly. Apparently, he finds this very
intriguing.

“Ok, well that’s out there now,” I chuckle,
rising to stand up.

“Wait, Lo,” he says, reaching for my hand and
gently stroking my knuckles with his thumb. “Don’t get weird about
it. I just wanted to know. I’m not judging you or trying to make
you feel embarrassed. If anything, I think it’s kind of cute.
You’re so fuckin’ innocent and you have no idea how sexy that is to
me.”

I almost don’t know how to respond. I’m
comforted by the fact that he doesn’t want me to feel shy about
what I’ve just revealed. I’m simultaneously touched and annoyed
that he finds this “cute” and I’m just a tad surprised that he’s
described my naiveté as sexy.

“Don’t feel bad for telling me, ok?” he
softly requests. “Don’t ever feel bad for telling me any sexual
stuff. I tell you everything, for fuck’s sake, so there’s nothing
you could say to me that would make me look at you different. You
can tell me anything, anytime, anywhere.”

I kiss his cheek and hug him. “Thanks for not
making me feel super weird about it—even if you were a total shit
for laughing when you first cornered me and poked at me until I
told you.”

He wraps his arms around me lovingly and
kisses the top of my head. “Hey, somebody’s gotta poke you if you
ever want to come.”

I sit up and smack him in the shoulder, which
makes him laugh hard.

We return to the task at hand and decide to
watch Young Frankenstein—a regular movie, the kind that doesn’t
feature gaping orifices and dildos of varying sizes. By the time
it’s over, I’m feeling pretty tired, so James says I should take
the first shower so I can get to bed.

I tie my hair up in a bun, too sleepy to wash
and dry it. I lather up with soap and think about the fun day I had
with James, Chad and Alejandro on the yacht. Chad said James was
into me. I know it’s dumb, but it puts a smile on my face even now.
James has been “into” a lot of girls—figuratively and literally—and
I can’t help but feel flattered at the mere possibility that I
might be one of them. He finds me attractive, that I know, but is
he
into
me?

When I’m all done, I slide back the shower
curtain and gasp when I see him standing in the bathroom looking
right at me. My hands frantically reach for a towel and I wrap it
around myself as I quickly try to hide my naked body.

“Lo, I’ve been thinking about what you said,”
he says with a furrowed brow like he’s in deep concentration. “I
think we should do it.”

“Do it? Do what? Not … you can’t mean that
…?” I reply, my rushed tone betraying how flustered I feel.

“No, not that we should fuck or
anything—unless you want to—but I mean that I think you should let
me see if I can make you come—‘cause, baby, you know I’m the man
for that job.”

I laugh loudly and step out of the shower,
tightening the towel across my chest.

“Just let me try it, huh?” he smiles at me
through the mirror as I brush my teeth. “I could knock it out in
two fuckin’ flicks of my tongue.”

“No fucking way I’m doing that!” I
chuckle.

“Why not? I’m really good at it, not to brag
or anything,” he playfully boasts.

“Nope, not happening,” I shake my head.

I rinse my mouth and then go into the
bedroom, slipping my gray, jersey knit nightie over me before
pulling my towel off discretely. He follows me and watches as I
slide my panties on under the shield of my nightie.

I lift the covers and start crawling into bed
when he comes over, catches my ankle and kneels off the side of the
bed in front of me.

“Lola, you gotta let me make you come
tonight,” he says. “It’s gonna drive me fuckin’ insane for years if
I don’t do it. I can’t know that you’re walking around never having
felt that.

“Seriously?” I ask with surprise.
Can he
really mean that?

“Yes, baby,” he says in a smooth, sensual
tone. “I want to do it so bad. I, like, need to make you come.”

“Um,” I pause, weighing this out. I can’t
deny how much I want it, though I’m slow to nod my head. “Ok, I
guess.”

“Fuck yeah!” He smiles. “Lie back on the
pillows, ok?”

I lie back and he looks me over.

“It’d be a lot easier if you got naked” he
smiles, “but I’m guessing you’re not about to go for that.”

I giggle and shake my head, biting my bottom
lip.

“Then we’re gonna have to do this the middle
school way,” he nods.

“What’s the middle school way?” I snicker
with raised eyebrows.

“You can keep your clothes on, but open your
legs wide so I can get my hand in there easier,” he instructs.

“Well, wait, what are you planning to do?” I
ask, my eyes wide with curiosity and a little apprehension.

“I’m just gonna rub you on the outside, so
don’t freak out,” he says with a shrug like it’s so obvious that I
should have known it from the second he proposed this idea.

I gulp and look away.

“I can do it over your panties if you want,
but it’ll be faster if you let me go direct,” he explains.

“I uh … um, I mean ...” I don’t know how to
respond.

“Let’s try under the panties and then, if it
freaks you out, we can do over,” he offers. I nod. “I’m gonna need
to get you warmed up a little first, kid, so is it cool with you if
I kiss your neck and stuff?”

I swallow hard and take a deep breath. Vivid
memories of Dave Keegan’s pool party and the incident a few months
ago come to mind. James kissed my neck both those times and it felt
hotter than anything I’ve ever done. The man knows how to turn a
girl on, I have to hand it to him.

“I mean, it’d be ideal if I could take this
off because I know how sensitive your nipples are and it’d be good
to start out there,” he explains, tugging at the hem of my
nightie.

“Um ...” I need to think about that. I want
this. Bad. Still, I’m worried that I’ll like it too much and that I
won’t be able to separate this from our friendship. I don’t want
him to be my boyfriend, but what if this changes that?

“I just want to touch ‘em a little bit,” he
elaborates. “You know I fuckin’ love how hard your nipples get and
I know it feels good for you when I play with them. I wanna do
everything that makes you feel good because I need you to let go
enough to have an orgasm. A lot of this shit’s in your head, so you
gotta get really into it. So … shirt off, huh?”

I pause and think it over. “Yeah, ok,” I nod.
“But, one thing,”

“Uh-huh?” he smiles. I think he’s enjoying
this negotiation.

“Can we turn off the lights first?” I timidly
ask.

“You want the lights off? Why?” he replies,
snickering at my shyness.

“I just, I feel weird about you seeing me
with my shirt off,” I meekly respond.

“Why? I’ve seen you in bikinis and stuff. I
saw your tits for a couple seconds just now in the bathroom,” he
says like he’s genuinely confused about this.

“I’m just ... I’m not pretty, James. Not like
those girls in your videos. If you really want me to take my shirt
off, that means you’re gonna see me. A lot of me. I’m
self-conscious because I know you won’t like it, since I’m not all
silicone and perky like they are.”

He laughs loudly and shakes his head. “Are
you kiddin’ me?”

“What?” I smile at his jovial reaction.

“Lola, you’re the hottest girl I’ve ever
seen. Why would you ever be self-conscious about anything? You’re a
knock out, kid,” he says with sincerity. “I’m actually totally
psyched to see you with your clothes off again. I think you’re
gorgeous and your body’s super sexy.”

It’s blunt, but I can tell he’s being a
hundred percent honest. This isn’t just some line of bullshit to
get me to take my top off, he really means that stuff. It’s kind of
touching.

I give him a subtle nod and he sits me up and
reaches for the bottom of my skirt. He gently removes it and then
looks down at my bare chest for a few seconds before I feel
overcome with modesty and cover myself with my hands. When he looks
up at me, he’s got a big appreciative smile that makes me
snicker.

“Very nice, Lo!” he says, giving me a thumbs
up.

I burst into laughter and he chuckles along
with me.

“Alright,” he says, taking my wrists and
nudging my hands down.

“Wait, you’re really gonna do this?” I
bashfully inquire.

“Yeah, babe,” he nods. “I can’t play with
your nipples if I can’t get at your titties.”

I take a deep breath and shake my head at
myself. I’m going to let him do this. I’m going to let James get me
completely topless here in his bedroom, even though I know I
shouldn’t. My mind is coming up with excuses left and right, but
I’m already nodding to him.

“Wait!” I interject as I’m suddenly bared to
him.

“Yeah?” he asks sweetly like none of this is
a big deal at all.

“I can’t—I have to turn the lights off. This
is too bizarre to do with the room lit up like the goddamned Fourth
of July.”

He laughs loudly. “You mean the single lamp
on the nightstand with the 40 watt bulb?” he dryly teases. “Yeah,
it’s like a stadium in here.”

“James,” I whine, “just get it dark in here,
ok?”

He looks at my pleading face and snickers.
“They’re just boobs, Lo. I’ve seen them before—including
yours.”

I ignore him and I reach over to turn off the
lamp myself. I can’t have the lights on. Something about watching
him touch me seems too intense. I’ll be able to hide my stunned
reaction in the cloak of darkness and I won’t have to worry about
him seeing how much I like the things he does. From my limited
experience with him, I know I’m going to thoroughly enjoy this and
I don’t want him to get cocky when he sees my expression.

“Dark enough for you or do you want me to
contact someone about shutting off the street lights?” he jokes,
referring to the orange-tinted light coming in from behind the
blinds.

“Oh
ha ha
,” I scoff. “A real comedian.
You gonna start doing a standup routine? ‘What’s the deal with
airline food?’”

He laughs and moves closer to me, reaching up
for my arms, which I’ve unconsciously crossed over my breasts
again.

“No more being self-conscious,” he playfully
reprimands me. “You’re way too hot and I won’t stand for you hating
any part of yourself.”

I giggle and I’m glad it’s dark because he
can’t see me blushing.

“You’re beautiful, Lo,” he whispers, leaning
over and kissing my shoulder before letting his lips drift up my
neck to that spot right below my ear that always turns me on.

His fingertips brush my sides and his hands
are so big that he can basically cover my ribcage from the front to
the back. I draw in a breath as subtly as possible when his hand
comes up to rest on my breast. Already, it makes me shiver a little
just to have him touching my bare skin this way.

“Goddammit I love how fuckin’ hard your
nipples get!” He says with a grin that I can just make out in the
low light.

I laugh loudly and cover my face, peeking out
from behind my fingers.

“So fuckin’ hot, I swear to God,” he nods
like this gets his seal of approval.

I’m laughing and I feel much more at ease
when he kisses my neck again. He’s sweet and playful, which makes
it much easier to relax in such a strange situation. This isn’t
some lustful impulse, this is a cute, sexy experimentation and I
get a warm feeling at the idea that he’s the one doing this to me.
James has always shown such respect for my body and it makes it a
lot easier to let my guard down with him.

“Mmm, so fuckin’ awesome,” he whispers
against my neck as he holds my breasts and brushes circles over my
nipples with his thumbs. “I fuckin’ love your boobs, Lo.”

I try to hold it in, but I have to laugh at
that one. I hear him laughing too and I can see the whiteness of
his teeth as he smiles broadly before he kisses my collarbones.

“Ok, lie back, babe,” he says, rubbing my
back and lowering me onto the pillow. “Tell me if I do anything
that goes too far for you, ok?”

Before I can respond, his tongue flicks over
my nipple and I inhale sharply. Wow, something so tiny and it feels
so good!

“Told you your nipples were sensitive,” he
gloats before he closes his lips around the tip of my left
breast.

He’s right, my nipples are sensitive and I’ve
enjoyed this in the past from other guys, but it never felt this
good. He’s slowly suckling me while his tongue flutters over the
very tip of my nipple and I can’t get over how much I like this. I
think it’s the sensual way he’s doing it that makes the biggest
difference. He’s taking his time, worrying about quality over
quantity, and this is certainly high quality indeed.

His large hand slips between my legs and he
touches me over my panties.

“Oh shit,” he breathes when he feels the
dampness on the fabric. “Yeah, dude, this is only gonna take, like,
thirty seconds. You’re beyond ready right now.”