Don’t Ever Wonder (6 page)

A few seconds later and she had a smile on her face, letting me know that she was satisfied. “You know you have nut on your slacks, right?”

I looked down and I did indeed have a dark stain on my trousers. I shook my head. “C’mon, let’s roll.”

We climbed out of the booth and headed for the door.

On the ride home we both burst into laughter, talking about how freaky we used to be. It was nice to know that we could still walk on the wild side.

“So we gonna finish up when we get home.”

“Oh, you got some gas left in the tank?” She smiled.

“Enough to put you into a deep sleep.”

“Well bring it on, my nigga.”

“Oh, it will be brought.” We laughed some more. For the rest of the ride I filled her in on my upcoming trip to Chicago and told her that I would see how busy I would be out there. Being the head of sales and acquisitions for HE wasn’t easy, I just made it look that way. At my direction, Hakito Electronics was buying up smaller companies that didn’t have the assets to survive the flailing economy. Although HE’s biggest profits came from manufacturing programming chips, we were expanding our services by acquiring other specialty companies, thus increasing our revenues exponentially. The acquisition of Trybe Technologies was my baby from the ground up. I was going to make a boatload of money for HE and a hefty commission for myself.

“It would be nice to spend some time being in love with my ultra-successful husband.” She paused for a second then added, “Honestly, I just luuuuv the idea of it.”

The True You
salon had moved from Georgia Avenue to a bigger location down on U Street and had been packed with customers ever since. Easter had just passed and Daphne, who had two shampoo girls working for her, was still falling behind. “What’s it gonna be, Tressa?” Daphne asked as she made sure her customer was comfortably seated. Then she shouted to one of her helpers, “Sweetie, check Tam’s hair to see if it’s dry.”

“Give me some two-string twist. I’m headed out of town and I need something simple.”

“You got it. As a matter of fact…” Daphne stopped mid-sentence as she faced the door of the salon. Tressa saw the expression on Daphne’s face and looked to the television. Perhaps the videos had sunk to an all-new low. Then Daphne dropped her comb and her mouth twisted as she stepped out from behind her chair. “No, you didn’t show your face up in here.”

Nathan Montgomery was back in town for good. He stood still at the receptionist’s desk for a moment, nodded his head, and approached Daphne. “Listen, Daphne, I need to speak with you for a minute.”

Daphne began to scream at the top of her lungs. “How dare you show your face up in here, you selfish son of a bitch? I hate you.” Her screams turned to tears and the shop fell silent. Every one of the ten stylists stopped working and tuned into the drama. “You have the nerve to show your face around here after what you did to Kim? Who do you think you are? I’m calling Mo, John-John, and she got another cousin who just came home from jail. I’m sure they’ll be real glad to know you are back in town.”

Daphne was now pointing her finger in his face and the patrons grew scared that she could erupt into a rage at any minute. “Call who you like. I didn’t come here for you to judge me. I came because…”

Nate’s words were interrupted with Daphne’s open-handed slap. Like a professional he turned his face with the blow, minimizing the effect but not the sound. “I don’t care
what
you came here for. You are responsible for what happened.” She began to cry and in the next instant she swung her hand again. This time Nate grabbed her wrist before it could make contact. He held it for a second and looked into Daphne’s eyes.

“Daphne, I’m sorry for what happened. I’m sorry that my actions played a part in her death. I’m sorry that you lost your friend. I lost a friend in her as well.” Then he let her hand go. “I came here only to apologize to you. I would like your forgiveness, but if you can’t see clear to do that, then perhaps you could pray for me and I will do the same for you.”

“What?” A look of confusion was on Daphne’s face.

“Pray that my walk is completed and I will pray that your heart is softened. I came back to D.C. to make amends for my behavior. I treated Kim badly. Although no one should take their own life, I recognize that she loved me more than she should have, but that is between she and the Creator. Still, I must atone for my part in the whole thing.” Daphne’s expression showed the look of someone in unfamiliar territory.

“You come up here talking about praying and it’s supposed to be all good,” she yelled. Her client stood up and held her before she made another attempt at fighting him. “You ain’t right and you
are
gonna pay for what you did.”

Nate turned and began to walk away. When he reached the front door he turned back and asked, “How do you know that I haven’t already paid?”

Her mouth dropped open but no words escaped. “I’m going to see her mother later today. If anyone is looking for me you can tell them that’s where I’ll be. But know this, my life belongs to God now and I am promised that no weapon formed against me shall prosper.”

“Motherfucka, you crazy,” Daphne screamed. “Get your fake holy ass out of this shop and never come back.”

Nate gave her nothing but a slight smile as he headed out the door.

Forty minutes later
he walked into the barbershop. “Awwww shit. Kaboom look who stepped in the room,” Mike yelled out when he saw Nate.

A smile slid across Dee’s face. “My Dawg is back.” He stopped cutting to give Nate a handshake and a hug. “When you get back?”

“Last night, real late.”

“You talk to Brendan yet?”

“No, not yet. I had a couple of runs to make this morning and then I had to help out at the church this morning, feeding the homeless.”

“Church?” Dee asked. “You had to help feed the homeless?”

Nate nodded his head. “That’s right.”

“Getdafuck outta here.” Dee laughed. When he saw the expression on Nate’s face he asked. “You serious?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s decent, young man,” Mr. Hackley, the eldest barber, chimed in. “We need more young brothers trying to do something positive.”

Nate smiled. “Thank you, sir.”

“There must be some freaks down at the church if Nate’s ass is hanging down there,” Mike said before he started laughing.

“There are some nice sistahs down there, but that’s not what it’s about for me right now,” Nate replied.

“So what church is this?” Dee asked with his arms folded.

“The Greater D.C. Word Congregation. You ought to come visit.”

“No, thanks, I can’t afford to go to church, it cost too damn much. The last time I went to church they passed that plate seven times, I bullshit you not. The girl I was with was talking about, could you put a twenty in for me cause I left my wallet, I was like shiiiieeet girl, I don’t have that kind of money.”

Everyone in the shop erupted in laughter, some with him and some at him. “You a fool,” Mike answered. “Nate, don’t pay him any attention. That’s good you going to church trying to get yourself together.”

“Yeah, it’s all good. Yo, Dee, you got anybody next or can you hit me off with an outline?”

“You know I got you. I’m almost finished, go ahead and chill for a minute, I’ll have you out of here inside a half hour.”

“I’ve heard that before,” Nate said and everyone laughed.

Ten minutes later
and Nate was in the chair. Dee commented on the fact that he had let his hair grow out into a shadow. He then jumped from subject to subject trying to catch up on eight months’ worth of happenings. Dee stopped short of telling Nate that he missed him, but he did admit that things hadn’t been the same since he left town. He told him that Brendan seemed a little lost at times without him, but what he failed to admit was that he had called Brendan and told him that Nate was sitting in his chair.

Nate had no idea until he walked out the door of the shop and heard, “So it’s like that, chump. You slide back into town and don’t call a brother.”

Nate’s face lit up when he saw Brendan. He didn’t say a word, he just moved toward Brendan and embraced him, “Man, it’s good to see you, B.”

“You too. I didn’t ever think you were coming back.”

“C’mon. You knew I’d be back.”

They stood in front of the shop for an entire hour catching up and finally Dee came out front. “Yo, I’m finished cutting for the day so let’s go hang and get some grub or drinks.”

“I’d love to but I have something to take care of,” Nate responded.

“Man, you work fast. What’s her name?” Brendan asked playfully.

“Actually it’s not even like that. I’m practicing celibacy right now.”

Brendan and Dee just looked at each other, then to Nate as if they were waiting for a punch line. Nate finally interrupted the silence with, “I’m going over to Kim’s mother’s house.”

“Kim who?” Dee asked.

“Kim,” Nate replied. They were quiet so he went on, “I need to go apologize to her mother.”

“Man, do you think that’s a good idea?” Brendan asked before continuing. “Maybe you ought to let it be water under the bridge.”

“Yeah, cuz. Let sleeping dogs lie and shit like that,” Dee added.

“I appreciate that thought but this is something I got to do. It’s for my spirit as well as for her. You two might not understand but you don’t have to.”

Dee said what Brendan was most likely wondering. “Man, what about her crazy-ass cousins? Man, them fools been selling death since you left. It might just start some unnecessary shit.”

“Don’t worry about that. I’m taking backup with me.”

Dee nodded. “Oh okay, so you going strapped?”

Nate just smiled. He gave them both his new cell number and hopped into his rental car. “I’ll catch up with you later.”

“So what’s up for tomorrow?” Brendan asked.

“Church…you two trying to roll with me?”

Dee shook his head. “On that note…I’ma catch you later,” he said, chuckling, and walked toward his car.

“I just might have to come along and see what has you turned inside out. I guess for the better.”

“I’ll call you then.”

“Peace, man, be careful all right?”

“No doubt.”

Nate knocked three
times and there was no answer at the door. There was no car in the driveway and he feared that she wasn’t home. He was about to walk back to his car and sit when Mrs. Winters arrived as the Metrobus stopped at the corner. Nate recognized her when she stepped off and headed up the block to her home. She looked a lot like her daughter except that Mrs. Winters was a couple shades darker than Kim and her cheeks were chubbier. She didn’t notice that Nate was on her porch until she made it to her yard. Looking into her face rattled Nate. He had been to the home with Kim several times but had only been face-to-face with her mother once. He was feeling Kim’s presence and he had to make an effort to stay composed. “May I help you?”

Nate cleared his throat. “Yes ma’am. My name is Nate Montgomery and I was dating your daughter before she died.” Mrs. Winters looked Nate dead in his eyes and said nothing as she made her way past him and put her keys into the door. “I came because I wanted to express to you…I wanted to apologize for the way that I treated your daughter…”

“You waited almost nine months to come and apologize. Why bother now, son?” She placed her bag down and turned back to Nate. She didn’t seem upset, merely curious.

“Well, I have been out of town for a while and I was advised by most everyone to give you time to grieve.” Nate’s face was full of anguish. “I didn’t know how you would handle seeing me. Everyone blamed me, and I figured that you and your family would as well. I know her cousins did…I received a lot of threatening messages and I figured that they were basically speaking on your behalf as well.”

“Well, do you feel as though you are to blame, Nate?” She stepped away from the door and took her blazer off, hanging it on a coat hook.

“Well…at first I did. I blamed myself for her taking her life. I blamed myself for being so immature and not being up-front about the real me. I was never any good at relationships. I wanted people near me but I always hurt everyone who got close to me, but I never intended to cause her so much pain.”

“Hmmph,” she said. “Well, son, that’s the nature of relationships and women. Some of us love too hard to be played with.” She saw the look on his face and could tell he was looking for something from her. “You can come in for a moment. I just got in from work,” she said, then continued as she led him to her living room, “and now?” She offered him a seat.

“And now what?”

“Do you still blame yourself?”

Nate was shocked at how he’d been received. The best he’d hoped for was a polite acceptance of his apology, but it had become much more. A real chance to explain himself. “Honestly, no. I don’t blame myself for her death. But please know that I do fully accept responsibility for treating her badly. I have found God and I have come to find his mercy and grace. I wish I could undo what has been done. I have asked for forgiveness and I have prayed for you and your family every day. I prayed that you could forgive me.”

She nodded her head and a smile appeared on her face. “Nate, I forgave you a long time ago. Son, I prayed that you wouldn’t blame yourself and, believe it or not, I even held out faith that you would come to see me one day so I could say these things to you. Kim’s death was by design of the devil. He put that idea in her head to do something like that.”

Nate was silent. He was so overtaken by her words that tears welled up in his eyes. He was about to speak when Mrs. Winters cut him off.

“Nate, not many people know this, but my daughter attempted suicide twice before this. Once in high school because she claimed that her father and I didn’t understand her. A second time after a failed relationship with some guy whose name she barely remembered a year later. Kim was bipolar and suffered from severe depression as well. Her demons ran a lot deeper than being dogged out by a man…you understand.”

“I had no idea,” Nate said.

“You couldn’t have.” She offered him something to drink and when he accepted she brought him a glass of iced tea. “Nate, I actually owe you an apology.”

“For what?”

“Well, judging from the fact that you are even here…you are obviously a man of some conscience. Even if you were a d-o-g then or now, it’s obvious to me that you suffered behind this. I could have reached out to you, but…” She paused. “I actually wanted you to suffer a bit.”

Nate laughed. “I understand. Truly I do and I accept your apology.”

Mrs. Winters smiled. “I want you to know that I think that you are a decent man for even coming. It means a lot to me.” She stood and he stood to meet her with a hug.

“Thanks. Also, Mrs. Winters, if you ever need anything, please call on me. Anything at all…a ride, some help around here…here is my new number.”

“That’s very sweet of you. I doubt if I will need anything. Even though we’re divorced, Kim’s father still comes around to maintain the house and I am saving for a new car now, but you can stop past every now and then to say hello.”

“I’ll do that,” Nate said with a smile. He felt a hundred pounds lighter as she showed him out. As he headed out, he turned back to her and said, “God is good.”

She replied, “All the time.”

Nate headed down the steps and toward his car. He hit the switch to the alarm and opened the door when a silver Audi pulled up beside him. Immediately the driver and the man in the backseat jumped out. Mo, the driver, yelled to Mrs. Winters, “Go on in the house, Aunt Shirlene. You don’t need to see this.”