Elements of Fiction Writing - Conflict and Suspense (18 page)

But if not, just do it this way:

Then when the scene with Harrington actually takes place, we will have the overview of conflict in place. The real attention—the place to show all of this emotion—is in the actual exchange with Harrington.

Imagine your Lead character in a nicely appointed room of an admirable home. There is a big bay window looking over an expanse of lawn with some pleasing trees and a blue sky.

Your character picks up a wingback chair and throws it out the window:

Brainstorm answers to those questions, then pick the best answers and find ways to insert them in your novel.

Remember, conflict and suspense do not grip a reader unless and until she bonds with a character. Inner conflict is one of the great bonding agents. Explore deeply the inside of your Lead and give us glimpses of the psychological struggle. If you do, we will turn your pages.

“S
o tell me all about dialogue.”

“In two pages?”

“Hey, you’re the writer. Just do it!”

“Look, let’s talk about this later when—”

“We’ll talk about it now! Tell me about dialogue.”

“Sure. You’ve just helped. Your dialogue adds to the conflict.”

“How?”

“By arguing with me. Put two characters together who have different agendas. That should be revealed in their dialogue. In fact, that is one of the two primary goals of dialogue—to create conflict.”

“Oh yeah? What’s the other?”

“To reveal character. And you’re doing that, too. Our readers will get the idea you’re a rather brusque fellow.”

“Says you!”

“See? And you don’t talk like me. That’s another key. Each character should have his or her own way of speaking.”

“So I’m doin’ somethin’ right, is that what yer tellin’ me?”

“Almost. I’d avoid overuse of idioms and accents, like
yer
and
tellin’
, unless they’re absolutely necessary. They’re too difficult to read. A mere suggestion every now and again is all you need. The reader’s imagination will do the rest.”

“So I’m
not
doing it right, is that it?”

“Calm down.”

“I
am
calm!”

“At least you’re a man of few words. Dialogue in fiction should be brief.”

“What if I’ve got a lot to say?”

“Heaven help us. But if you must, avoid long speeches. Break the speech up, using other characters’ interruptions and—”

“Interruptions?”

“Perfect. And with little actions that demonstrate emotion.”

He paused, twirling the tiny revolver in his hand. “Like this?”

“Yes. You’re catching on quick.”

“Hey, how about those Dodgers, huh? And isn’t it a nice day outside?”

“Hold on. Avoid small talk. You’re not trying to re-create real life in a story. Remember, you want to use dialogue to move the story, create tension, interest the reader, reveal character.”

“What if my character likes small talk?”

“Good point. If your character is supposed to be a bore, it will work, because that dialogue has a story purpose.”

“Thank you.” He pointed the gun at me. “Now give me your wallet.”

“Very good! That is a surprise, a twist. It forces the reader to read on. That’s often a good way to end a chapter, don’t you think?”

“I mean it, give me your wallet, pal!”

“And there’s another great tactic, the off-center response. You didn’t answer me right on the nose. Work on that angle a lot. Have your characters give slightly off responses whenever they can. That helps make the scene tense. Listen, fella, why don’t you give me the gun, huh?”

“Go ahead, make my day.”

“Yech! Avoid clichés like the plague!”

“Is that supposed to be funny?”

“A little humor is always welcome in dialogue, so long as you don’t force it. Now hand over the gun.”

“Only if you tell me what I should do to make sure my dialogue works.”

“Set it aside for a few days. Then read it aloud, in a monotone. Or get a friend to read it to you. Hearing it out loud gives you a different perspective. The gun?”

“Okay. Here. Now what do we do?”

“We figure out a snappy, interesting way to end this dialogue.”

“You got an idea?”

“Yeah.”

“Let’s hear it.”

I raised the gun. “Give me your wallet, pal.”

Okay, a little bit of play, but with some content to consider. The main point is that dialogue is rich soil for sowing conflict and tension. Never waste it with small talk or throwaway lines. Sometimes even masters of dialogue, after a certain number of books, can seem to be stretching things out because, well, it’s just so much fun to write.

Until you have that fortieth novel published (and maybe not even then) write compact dialogue with conflict.

The best tools for creating conflict in dialogue are:

1. Orchestration
   
2. Subtext
   
3. Opposing agendas
   
4. Sidestepping
   
5. Dialogue as weapon
   
6. Parent-Adult-Child
   

The concept of orchestration was covered in chapter three. Remember that great dialogue begins before you write it, with characters you create for contrast.

Pay special attention to how each of your characters sounds. Give them unique voices in your own mind, and that will play out in more conflict on the page. Do this for each main character:

1. Voice journal. Use this to give each character a distinctive sound.
   
2. A statement, in the character’s voice, of their
   reason for being in the story.
   

Try it for all major characters. Get to know them as individuals. Find backstory elements that will contrast with the other characters. Look especially at the
Big 5:

1. Education
   
2. Religion
   
3. Politics
   
4. Type of work
   
5. Economic status
   

A scene should be about more than it is about. On the surface it is what the characters are doing and saying. But underneath the surface, other story deposits are bubbling up toward the top.

You have
previous character relationships.
This character web might be known to you but not the reader. Not yet. But the way the characters speak with this hidden knowledge will create uncertainty in the scene.

There is
backstory,
or events that have happened before the scene. You may have written about these events in previous parts of the novel, or they may have occurred before the novel’s time line. But events from the past that affect the present create possibilities for conflict on the surface.

You may also be aware of the
theme
of your novel
.
Even if you’re unclear about it, just giving it some thought will automatically offer subtextual elements. List several possibilities of what your book
might
be about.

Always know what each character wants in a given scene.

If a character in a scene is just taking up space, give him an agenda or get him out of there. Or cut the scene entirely.

Scenes require conflict or tension, even if it’s subtle.

Before you write the scene, note what it is each character wants.

Then spend a few moments playing with those motivations.

List three other possible motives for each of the characters, then mix and match to decide which ones will make for the best conflict.

It is also important to create tension among allies.

One of the danger points in fiction is when two friends, or people who are at least on the same side, have a talk about what’s going on.

The trouble is there might not be any trouble between them. So much of the dialogue becomes a friendly chat.

This will violate Hitchcock’s axiom, however, so we have to do something about it.

The fastest way to handle it is to make sure there is tension manifested from the start.

Create tension in at least one of the characters, preferably the viewpoint character.

For example, when you have Allison meeting Melissa, her college friend, for coffee, don’t have them sit down and start talking as if nothing’s wrong in the world.

Put the trouble of the story into Allison’s mind and nervous system and make it an impediment to her conversation with Melissa.

In Melissa, place something that might be in opposition to Allison’s needs. Allison needs to ask Melissa’s advice about a crumbling marriage. Maybe Melissa is full of news about her sister’s impending wedding to a wonderful man and gushes about the prospects.

Spend some time brainstorming about the ways two friends or allies can be at odds. Then weave those things into the dialogue.

You instantly create conflict in dialogue when you avoid “on the nose” responses. On the nose means a direct response, sometimes even echoing the previous line:

There is nothing inherently wrong with these responses. Indeed, we talk like this in real life and sometimes will do so in our fiction. But notice how you can create instant conflict with a slight sidestep:

Notice the ways you can avoid direct response:

1. A statement that is unrelated to the prompting dialogue.
   
2. Answering a question with a question.
   
3. A line of dialogue that is going to need some explanation.
   

Also consider using silence:

Or use an action response:

Look for places where you can use dialogue as a weapon, a means for your characters to charge ahead in order to get what they want. Keep in mind that dialogue is action. It’s a physical act used by characters to help them get what they want. If they don’t want anything in a scene, they shouldn’t be there.

Note that not all weapons are explosive. They can be small and sharp, too.

Here’s a well-known example from the classic film
Casablanca.
In this scene, a Nazi officer, Strasser, has come to Casablanca to capture Victor Laszlo, the underground fighter. It is rumored he will be showing up in Rick Blaine’s saloon. The local French police captain, Louis Renault, allows Rick to operate because Rick takes no sides. He “sticks his neck out for no one.”

Strasser wants to find out for himself where Rick stands. That’s his agenda. See if you can pick up what the others want in the following exchange:

Even before Rick enters the conversation, the positioning has begun. Strasser corrects Renault on a minor point to emphasize the dominance of the Nazi regime. Renault lets it be known that his agenda is to “take what comes.” That’s because (we find out later) he has a nice little setup here at Rick’s. It’s where he wins at the gaming tables and also selects distressed young women to dally with as payment for getting them and their husbands out of Casablanca. He doesn’t want to upset the proverbial apple cart:

The first volley by Strasser is spoken in soft terms. Rick’s rejoinder it intended to be a slightly harder parry. He’s telling Strasser he has nothing of value for them:

Rick’s reply is sharp, a touch of the tip of a rapier. Renault knows this immediately and injects a line to deflate the impending tension. Rick’s agenda is clear now: Don’t be a patsy for strong-arm questions. Renault’s agenda is to keep Rick’s saloon from being closed down!