Field of Innocence (The Euphoria Series) (15 page)

Chapter Seventeen

Right & Wrong

A rustle in the brush on the edge of the field pulls Calandra from her daze that is on the verge of becoming a slumber, even though she’s pretty sure she’s only been lying there for a few minutes at the most. She sits up instantly and looks around, trying to see where the noise came from. Her fear at the moment is that the sprites are back for revenge. Instead she notices two figures standing in the trees, but they are much too large to be sprites.

“Who’s there?” she calls in the direction of the noise.

Her heart drops into her feet when she sees Tristan and Jarreth walk out of the trees and head toward her; both of their expressions are unreadable. Her breath catches in her throat as she wonders how long they’ve been there. However, the look on Tristan’s face once they get closer answers that question for her. He is hurt … again.
Great
. She rolls her eyes at herself for the situation she has managed to get herself into. Somehow Jarreth doesn’t look hurt, or mad, or upset at all, which leaves Calandra feeling lost and confused.

She can feel the fire radiating off of Tristan and his speed increases the closer they get to her. Actually, that isn’t heat, that’s fury. Why is she feeling that?

“So—” The word falls out of her mouth when they finally reach her, and she immediately wishes she could suck it back up.

“So,” Tristan begins, his entire face is red. “What exactly is this destiny you have to stay here to fill, do everything wrong and disregard everything that you know about being a decent human being?”

“I … wow!” Calandra’s brain can’t seem to form any sort of response. She didn’t expect him to be this mad—he’s not usually the type of person to lose his cool and be mean to her—and she is more than a little thrown off by it.

“Tristan,” Jarreth warns. He’s standing right next to Calandra, looking slightly timid but not mad at all. So maybe she hasn’t messed up everything, which would be nice.

“Don’t start with me!” Tristan yells and points his finger at Jarreth. “You’re the one who started this in the first place!”

“Tristan!” Calandra shrieks.

“Don’t!” He turns his attention back to Calandra. “Just don’t!” Tristan puts his head in his hands and starts to pace.

Calandra glances over to Jarreth, lost. He simply shrugs and looks away from her. So he is upset, too, just not to the same extent that Tristan is. Calandra takes a deep breath, resolving to herself that she got herself into this situation so it’s going to be up to her to get herself out of it … somehow. She walks over to Tristan slowly and reaches up for him, but he pulls away instantly and glares at her.

Then something from her earlier experience with Drake comes into her mind.
Will the power to do what you want it to
. She had just willed her power to make a storm roll in earlier, and now she is feeling Tristan’s emotions for some reason. Does that mean she can will her power to change those emotions? She still doesn’t know exactly what she is doing, but after the ordeal with Drake she now has a better idea of how to use her powers, so she figures it has to be worth a shot. It’s probably the only shot she is going to get for now. It’s an easy way out, so she opts to take it.

Calandra focuses on the feelings radiating off of Tristan. The hurt, anger, and deception. She lets them fill her. Her heart breaks all on its own when it occurs to her that Tristan is feeling these emotions so immensely because of her. She falters for a minute, realizing that what she’s about to do is beyond wrong. It is an invasion of privacy. She turns to look at Jarreth, trying to make up her mind on what she should do. He shrugs and nudges his head toward Tristan. When Calandra turns back to Tristan, the glare he gives her finally settles her mind.

She focuses on his feelings again, being extra careful to not let them reach her conscious this time. Before it has time to overload her senses, she refocuses on the power inside her. Without as much effort as the previous attempts had taken, she is able to will the power to do exactly as she wants it to. Tristan’s expression goes blank for a minute and then he’s back. He is the normal and once again unhurt Tristan. His anger is gone and Calandra’s nerves ease up as she realizes he isn’t mad at her any longer.

He looks back and forth between Jarreth and Calandra. “I guess I should get back to Drake’s. I don’t think I’m supposed to be here.”

It isn’t until Tristan speaks and clarifies that she has been successful that she realizes she has once again done exactly what Tristan said she would. She knew that messing with his emotions and using her powers to change them was wrong. She knew that it went against everything she had ever been taught. Knowing all of that hadn’t stopped her from doing it.

Calandra looks back to Jarreth, afraid of what he may be thinking of her. Surprisingly, he looks rather impressed. She isn’t impressed with herself in the least, she is more than disgusted with her behavior today.

“Thanks for coming to check on me,” she tells Tristan, unsure of what else to say, or what he will remember about how and why he is here.

“You are okay, right?” Tristan asks, sincerely concerned.

Calandra nods and gives a small smile as her heart twitches in her chest.

“Okay then.” Tristan awkwardly looks at Jarreth again and walks away.

Jarreth waits until Tristan is completely out of earshot before he brings up the obvious.

“No, he doesn’t remember any of it,” he tells her. “It’s as if it never happened.”

“It’s that easy?” she asks, and the question surprises her.

Jarreth doesn’t respond, so Calandra turns around to look at him. He looks sad and concerned.

“Trust me, I won’t be doing it again!” she blurts out, each word spills over the next.

Jarreth smiles, it’s a very small smile, but still beyond comforting in the current situation.

“And I’d never try it on you.” She isn’t sure why she says it, but the words are out before she realizes it.

“You could try all you wanted to.” He smiles and taps her nose. “But it wouldn’t work on me.”

Calandra sighs and takes a seat in the grass. She places her hands on the ground next to her and takes comfort from the field.

“Guess I messed things up … again,” she says when Jarreth takes a seat in front of her.

“I must say I am impressed.”

“What? That I can turn evil and deceive people?” Calandra scoffs.

“Calandra, you are part faerie. I already explained to you the line between good and evil is blurred for Fae. After seeing the way you’ve already developed so many powers and learned to control them, I’m really starting to wonder just how much Fae you have in you.”

Confused, Calandra looks at him. “My mom was part human, right?”

“Yes,” he replies, “that is the story. But you are doing things you shouldn’t be able to do for someone who is only part Fae, let alone someone who hasn’t had time to develop her powers yet. Something is … different about you.”

“Different?” Calandra shows her offense in her voice.

Jarreth chuckles. “Special.”

She smiles at the new direction he’s taken. “Thanks, I guess. I’m sorry for … well, all of it.”

Jarreth places his hand on top of hers. “Calandra, I need to be sure you truly understand what I told you before. About who you love directly effecting the types of powers you have and the outcome of this world.” He sighs as he looks at her, concern clear in his eyes.

“I believe you,” she says as she thinks back to their conversation at the bar.

“What you did here today, not only with Drake, but what you did to Tristan when he left, that’s the kind of thing I was talking about, Calandra. Hanging around with dark people is going to make you do dark things, whether you believe it will or not. With all seriousness, you have the ability to make or break this world. Whether you want it or not, it’s entirely in your hands.”

She blushes, ashamed of herself. “It’s just that I was so excited to try and learn how to use my powers that I couldn’t say no when Drake offered to help me. As far as the stopping time at his house, well I didn’t mean to do that.” She remembers as soon as the words slip out that she wasn’t supposed to say anything about the last part.

Jarreth’s face blanks out for a moment. “You stopped time at Drake’s house?”

She nods slightly.

He stares at her blankly for a few very uncomfortable moments. “Wow!” he finally says under his breath.

“I didn’t even know how I did it. I was stressed out with you and Tristan arguing, and the next thing I knew, Drake and I were the only ones still moving.” She shrugs as if it was no big deal. To her, it hadn’t seemed like that big of a deal, she’d done it on accident and hadn’t meant any harm by it. Honestly, it was probably the only thing that had kept them from a fistfight, so in actuality, she had probably done everyone some good. “How did you not know I did it? I mean, what happened after I left and things … you know, started again?”

Jarreth smirks. “I guess Drake took the wrap for you. He said that he did it to give you a minute and that you had been so upset that you said you wanted to be alone, so he gave you a head start. I didn’t trust him to actually leave you alone. I was halfway here before I realized Tristan was following me. Sorry, I guess I kind of caused more drama between you two.”

Calandra laughs, though she’s not totally sure why. “You didn’t cause it, I did.” She looks down at the ground and picks at the grass. “Why weren’t you guys effected by the time being stopped here? How did you see what happened?”

“We arrived after you had already stopped things, so we weren’t effected by it. This is why I wanted you to learn about powers before you go using them,” he says matter-of-factly.

“Oh,” Calandra sighs and blushes slightly.

“Have you ever been to a Masquerade Ball?” Jarreth throws the question out randomly, bringing Calandra out of her moping.

She looks up at him questioningly. “No.”

He smiles. “It’s an old tradition really. Masks are kind of a big thing with Fae, it’s the mystery of it and also the ability to deceive, of course.” His smile broadens. “Drake does a ball every year.”

“A ball of the masquerade kind?” Calandra laughs as she watches Jarreth, unsure of where this is leading to exactly.

“Yes, that’s the kind. It’s in two weeks.”

“Hmm.” She smiles.

“As it turns out, I have a dress of your great grandmothers, a dress that Echo had made specifically for her. Your mother always admired it and wanted to find a chance to wear it. I do believe it happens to be just your size.”

“Must be the genes,” Calandra jokes.

“Either way, I figured you might want to wear it to the ball.” He smiles confidently at her.

Calandra’s heart swells to what feels like should be far beyond her chest cavity. A dress that is part of her family heritage. A dress that was something her mother wanted. A piece of the people that have made her into what she is, the people she never had a chance to meet. The thoughts flow through her head and fill her with excitement at the magical possibilities of it all. It’s a chance she never would have come across in a million years in the mortal world with her dad.

“Of course I would,” she finally says when she realizes that Jarreth is still looking at her, anticipating a response.

“Then it’s yours.” He smiles. “I can escort you to the ball as well if you’d like. I have a feeling Drake isn’t going to allow Tristan to come.”

“I have a feeling he wouldn’t want to go with me regardless.”

Jarreth shakes his head in disagreement. “I think you underestimate that boy’s love for you, dear.”

Calandra shrugs, unsure of what to think of that statement.

Chapter Eighteen

Masquerade

Calandra stands in the room, looking at herself in the mirror, in awe and completely and utterly dazed. The dress Jarreth gave her of Echo’s was amazingly beautiful, but she feels completely out of place in it. She doesn’t belong in something like this; she isn’t meant to look this glamorous. The dress is an iridescent silver color. The top is a beautiful corset that silhouettes her figure and drapes around her hips before coming to a V-shape in the front and the back. This dress shows her off in a way that she’s never done before. A way that makes her feel beyond self-conscious. Nothing is revealed, but she’s never dressed to impress—so to speak—before, and the thought that this outfit will be drawing eyes to her has her nerves set on fire. The corset is intricately embroidered with a blue thread that matches the color of Jarreth’s eyes. The skirt consists of layers upon layers of ruffled tulle and it swishes as she moves.

Her mask is laying on the bed still. She walks over to it, unable to look at the mirror any longer. She can’t seem to recognize the girl that stares back at her. The mask is the perfect complement to her dress; she figures it has to have been made just for it. It is the exact same shade of silver and framed with jewels. The top has one blue jewel that matches the embroidery in the dress and the remainder of the jewels that make up the frame of the mask are a mixture of light blues, silver, and clear. The gems peak at the top of the mask, just above the large blue gem. There is a small strand of silver beads that hang below the large blue stone and frame just above the eyebrows in a swirl fashion. On the right corner of the mask is a beautiful baby blue flower with a few silver tulle petals and silver flowers resting above and below it.

Grabbing the mask, she holds it over her face and turns back to the mirror. She freezes and her breath catches when she sees the image looking back at her.
Who is that
? she wonders to herself. This is not an image she’s ever seen in the mirror before. This girl is stunning, mysterious, and confident. All of which are things that Calandra has never felt in herself before. Her hair is done up in spiral curls and full of body with little flowers and streamers holding the top half back and out of her face. She is so caught up in the picture in front of her that she doesn’t hear Jarreth come into the room. He stands at the door and stares at her for a few minutes before he finally makes his way into the room.

He walks up behind her and places his arm around her shoulders. “You’re breathtaking!”

Calandra breaks out of her trance, looks at his reflection standing behind her in the mirror, and smiles.

Jarreth is wearing an all white suit with a light blue tie. There are eloquently placed sequins throughout the suit that catch the light just right and in all the right places to magnify his beauty. He uses his arm around her to spin her around and make her face him. “There is one thing that I think I failed to mention about the ball that I should probably warn you of.”

Her face turns grim and fear courses through her. The last couple of weeks had been going great, more than great. Her and Jarreth had been getting to know each other and she began feeling even more connected to the world as well. She was finally starting to feel confident in her ability to be able to fulfill her destiny. Could what he was about to tell her possibly ruin all of that? Jarreth pulls her over to the bed and sits down next to her. His hand remains on her shoulder which sends the comforting sparks through her, it is a sensation that she is beginning to think she will never get totally used to.

“I told you humans were banned from our world at the fallout,” Jarreth begins his explanation and sends Calandra’s heart into overdrive. She nods, remembering the story he had told her weeks ago. “There was one little piece of information that I left out.”

Her heart drops. “Wait just a minute,” she tells him. Her breath slows to an almost dormant pace. She ponders to herself if she really wants this revelation or not. “Is this something I absolutely have to know beforehand?” she asks finally.

Jarreth nods.

Calandra takes a deep breath. “Okay, then do something for me first, just in case.” She smiles slightly and holds her hand out toward him, not bothering to explain her request or wait for a response.

He eyes her cautiously and gives her an odd look before he gives into her request. He closes his eyes and instantly her anxiety and fear about what he is about to say melts away completely. Calandra sighs in the relief of their absence.

“Better?”

She smiles innocently. “I just want to be on an open emotional field in case things get totally discombobulated after whatever it is you have to say.”

Jarreth sighs. “Basically, with no human interaction at all to feed certain … needs,” Jarreth stumbles to find the word to use, “most Fae would die out completely. So, after the fallout, we had to find a way to control things. There had to be a balance, so that there wouldn’t be enough interaction for things to get out of hand as they once had. But we still needed enough to keep things intact here as well.” Jarreth picks up her hand and brushes his fingers against her knuckles, washing away the spikes of nerves that shoot through her as he speaks. “Which is why Drake decided to host a Masquerade Ball every year. It’s the one night that we’re allowed to have humans come in. It may sound cruel, but it’s really the only way for us to survive.”

A statement that Calandra had heard said in a sermon once runs through her mind,
“Don’t hate the person, hate the sin in the person.”
Calandra knows somewhere deep down she should probably be completely disturbed by this. After the last several weeks that she’s been here and given the things she’s seen and learned, this doesn’t really seem too bad in retrospect. She must be softening up to the things that would have disturbed her at one point.

She wonders when that change began as she can’t recall consciously deciding to allow that to happen. She still hasn’t learned about all of the hungers and needs of the different Fae here, but she knows they are there and that they differ for each type of faerie. She has learned some of the different needs. Others, much like a lot of things, Jarreth doesn’t want to explain to her. Faeries are very emotional creatures, so the thought of what she may see tonight does send chills through her, but she knows she must accept all aspects of this world and it’s people. As she sees to be the way of life, she has to give this world a chance before she is able to come up with any sort of opinion for it.

“Okay,” she replies simply.

“Okay?” Jarreth seems to be taken aback by the simplicity of her response.

She nods.

“Okay,” he seems reluctant still, but decides not to question her decision any further, “ready to go then?”

She nods. Jarreth stands and holds out a bended elbow to escort her. She loops her arm into his, smiles, and lets him lead her into the mysterious night. A night that she no longer knows what to expect from, in the body of a remarkably beautiful and confidant woman that she isn’t sure she knows.

****

What Calandra wasn’t at all prepared for was where the ball was going to be. Why Jarreth hadn’t mentioned that the field is the venue of choice was beyond her. It is a more than breathtaking scene. The tree that she has connected with several times is surrounded in gleaming lights and it looks simply magnificent. There are lines of lights forming a sort of canopy ceiling above the entire field, though they are not laced together on a string, instead each individual light is suspended in the air all on its own. Just to the right of the large tree that Calandra favors are three large fabric panels that are running through an assortment of colors. To the left of the tree are several large tables holding an assortment of foods and drinks. Calandra notices one table holds nothing but small glasses containing liquid like what Jarreth always drinks, but there is a large variety of colors.

Throughout the field new flowers have popped up. Some look like tulips, some like roses, and others like lilies. However every flower is a rainbow of colors. Despite the elegance of the transformation, the field has made from a wonderment of nature to an equally amazing masquerade, the dresses and masks are what really stand out. Everyone looks amazing, humans and Fae alike are all dressed in intricate ballroom dresses and suits with masks to accompany in the mystery of the event. Most of the Fae women, however, have chosen not to wear masks. Instead, they have done fantastical things with their makeup to hide their faces. Makeup not only covers their eyelids, but makes beautiful patterns across their entire faces accompanied with artfully placed gems, jewels, and glittered pieces of art. Suddenly, the breathtaking and confident creature that Calandra felt when she looked at herself in the mirror before she arrived, seems much more ordinary in comparison.

Jarreth stands behind her and takes her mask out of her hand. He holds it up to his face and breathes on the inside of it before placing it over Calandra’s face. She is completely lost as to what the purpose of his gesture was until she realizes that it is staying on without any sort of strings to keep it in place. He does the same to his own mask. Calandra hadn’t paid any attention to his mask until now. It is white just as his suit is, but it doesn’t cover both of his eyes like most of the masks do. It goes straight across his forehead and on the right side comes down to just above his mouth. But from there it cuts upwards to cover only part of his nose and arches just over his left eye, leaving it fully exposed. It is framed in sequins that are cobalt blue and around the right eye is a swirled pattern of baby blue. It compliments his suit and the beauty that his eyes hold perfectly.

Calandra’s stomach does a few catapults when she feels him sweep her from the edge of the field and into the center where everyone is dancing. He spins her around and the beauty of the people and the masks spin in and out of her view. The entire experience is intoxicating. Her body rages with the electric current that comes from his touch. Her eyes are filled with the mystification of the people swirling around her, and to her surprise, they all look equally influenced.

After several euphoric moments of twirling in the breathtaking scene, Jarreth escorts her off of the dance floor and over to the table containing the refreshments for the night. He grabs his go-to pink drink and holds his hand in front of the tables, signaling for Calandra to help herself to something. Her attention remains on the table he has just chosen from. She looks from one side of the shots of liquid to the other, the entire rainbow spectrum is represented. She has only ever had Jarreth’s pink concoction. As she has no clue what any of them are, she figures there is no harm in trying out a new color to see what happens. Her conscious immediately flashes to the night a while back when she had convinced him, or rather tricked him, into letting her have some of the drink and how that action had ended. She quickly shakes her head free of the memory and goes back to her game of eenie meeney miney moe to pick one out. She subconsciously lands on a purple shot and she takes it down quickly. It is bitter and sends her throat into odd spasms.

Jarreth arches an eyebrow at her response and smiles.

“You’re still not going to tell me what they are?”

“Obviously not knowing isn’t stopping you from consuming.”

She shrugs and walks over to the next table that has tall glasses filled with different colored smoothies. She grabs one with strawberries on top and begins sipping on it instead of getting another shot of the mystery liquid.

“You never read anything on Faerie folklore, did you?” His question takes her off guard.

She shakes her head and shrugs. “I guess not. Would I have learned anything useful?”

Jarreth shrugs. “Probably not too much, though you might think a bit harder before trying drinks and food while you’re here. Especially when no one wants to tell you what they are,” he chuckles.

His statement sends her back to her first day here. During the awkward walk through the woods to Jarreth’s cabin, he had explained to her what he fed on; emotions. He had taken hers away from her but said he didn’t use them, that he had simply taken them from her in an effort to help her feel more comfortable. He said on that first day that he had other ways of satisfying his needs. She had been so caught up in too many things at the time to even think to question it. Her eyes grow wide and she turns back to the table filled with the shots. Scenes flash before her eyes of every time she’s seen Jarreth’s eyes flash different colors. She has seen them turn every single one of the colors that are represented on the table at some point.

“Jarreth,” she turns to face him, “why do your eyes change colors sometimes?”

“It’s a Fae trait. It’s kind of like a mood ring, it shows our emotions. Young faeries eyes will stay whatever color their mood is. As we get older, we learn to control it and to be able to change them back to our actual color. But we can never keep them from showing it, at least momentarily.” He is watching the crowd dance across the dance floor, completely oblivious to the road Calandra is on and where her mind is taking her.