Force of Love (8 page)

My eyes softened. “I can’t even begin to describe my feelings for you. I can’t believe you did that for me. I was going to come just watching you.”

“That would have been hot,” she said as she ran her fingers down my chest.

“Well, next time you might succeed.”

“And I know that would never happen with another girl.”

I rubbed my nose against hers. “Definitely not. No one compares to you, baby.”

“
I know they don’t.”

I grabbed her face and forced her eyes on mine. “You’re never leaving me. I won’t let you. You are mine forever and always.”

She stared at me for a moment. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Good. Because you didn’t have a choice anyway,” I said. “I’ve been with a lot of women, Janice, but none of them compare to you. You’re everything I’ve always wanted in someone else. You’re everything to me.” I pressed my forehead against hers. “I—I couldn’t even imagine what I would do if you left me. I don’t want to think about it.”

She ran her fingers through my hair while she looked at me. “You never have to worry about that, Ryan.”

“I’ll never lie to you, betray you, or cheat on you. I will
do everything I can to make you as happy as you make me.”

She smiled. “You already have.”

“Then I’ll keep doing it,” I said as I kissed her on the forehead.

“Good. I look forward to it.” She moved next to me, and I felt her warm skin against mine.

I leaned over and licked the sweat from her chest before I rose from the bed. “I’m going to shower, baby. I’ll be right back.”

She smiled. “Okay. Hurry.”

“I always hurry.” I went into the shower and got under the warm water. After I washed my hair and scrubbed my body, I returned to the bedroom and crawled under the sheets next to Janice.

“Your phone kept ringing. It was Missy.”

I felt my heart fall. Janice didn’t seem mad but I was still worried. “Oh? Did you answer it?”

“No,” she said quickly. “It just wouldn’t stop ringing and it was annoying so I just turned it on silent.” She looked at me hesitantly. “I hope that’s okay. I didn’t mean to go through your stuff.”

I smiled. “Baby, I don’t care at all. You go through my stuff all you want. I was just scared you were mad at me.”

“Why would I be mad?” she asked.

I stared at her incredulously. “Well, some girl you’ve never met has been calling me at night. I think that’s enough to make anyone angry.”

“I trust you, Ryan. I don’t care who calls you.”

I was speechless. It took me a few moments to organize my thoughts. “Baby, that means the world to me. And your trust isn’t misplaced. You never have to worry about that.”

She grabbed me and pulled me closer to her. “I know, Ryan. Now shut up.”

I smiled at her. “I’m sorry. You just mean so much to me. I never want to lose you.”

“Keep being an amazing guy and you never have to worry about it.”

“Okay.” I kissed her on the forehead then closed my eyes, smelling her scent as I fell asleep.

4

I vaguely felt warm moisture on my neck as I slept. When I heard the sound of quiet sniffs and audible crying, I was pulled from my dream. I looked over at Janice and saw her crying to herself. She was asleep, but she was still sobbing. She clutched her body tightly as she curled up into a ball. The sight broke my heart.

“Baby, wake up,” I said I leaned toward her ear. I wrapped her in my arms and shook her gently. “Come on. Come on.”

She continued to cry.

“Baby, wake up!”

Her eyes darted open and she moved away from me, clearly frightened. She looked around the room, searching for a demon that wasn’t really there. I held up my hands and didn’t touch her. She clutched her heart and stared at the blanket on the mattress.

“You’re safe, baby. Don’t be scared.”

She finally looked at me. “Ryan.”

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her back to my chest. “It’s okay,” I said quietly.

She buried her face in my neck and clutched me tightly. She started to cry again. I just held her while she broke down.

“You don’t need to be scared. I’m here.”

She clutched me tighter.

I rubbed her back and guided my hands through her hair, trying to calm her down without the use of words. I wanted her to know that I would protect her against everything, even her dreams.

She pulled away from me then walked into the bathroom. A second later, I heard the shower running. I followed her and saw her sitting on the floor of the bathtub, the hot water dripping down her body. She had her arms wrapped around her waist and she stared straight ahead, dazed like she was having another dream.

I walked inside then sat next to her. I didn’t touch her because I assumed she didn’t want to be touched. Now I was really scared. Whatever she dreamt about must have really frightened her.
I said nothing as I sat beside her. The warm water cascaded on both of us. Janice’s wet hair clung to her neck.

“Baby, tell me.”

She said nothing for a moment. “Carl.”

I looked away. That’s who I suspected her nightmares were about. I wanted that fucker to die. If I was going to kill anyone it would be him. Serving years in jail wasn’t a strong enough punishment for the pervert who violated my girl and my sister. If I ever ran into that guy in a dark alley, his corpse would end up in a dumpster. I waited for the anger to leave my body before I spoke. I knew I was frightening when I was angry. “You’re safe with me. He’ll never come near you again, baby.”

She took a deep breath. “I know.”

“I’ll never let anything happen to you. I would die before I left that happen.”

She nodded.

“So please don’t be scared.”

“I can’t help it.”

I nodded. “I know.”

“I don’t want to talk about my dream.”

“Good. I don’t think I could stand to hear it.”

She stared straight ahead.

“Come here.”

She moved closer to me and I placed her in my lap. She curled up and leaned against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face in her neck.

“You never have to be scared, okay?”

“I know, Ryan.”

I kissed her on the forehead. “Don’t forget it.”

“I don’t know what I would do without you, Ryan.”

“You never have to worry about it.”

“What would have happened if you and Cortland hadn’t helped me?”

“Stop. Don’t think like that. Nothing happened and nothing will ever happen.”

She nodded. “Thank you for everything, Ryan. You mean everything to me.”

“You don’t need to thank me, baby.”

“I’m sorry I’m acting like this.”

I grabbed her face and directed her gaze on mine. “Acting like what? A normal person? Don’t ever apologize for being scared or emotional. You never have to hide from me.”

“Okay.”

“Are you ready to go back to bed?”

She shrugged. “I don’t think I can sleep.”

“Let’s watch some television
, then.”

“You don’t have to stay awake for me.”

“I know.”

She said nothing.

“Come on.” I helped her to her feet then turned off the shower. After we dried off, we went into the living room and lied on the couch, watching an old rerun of a show on television. She lied on top of me while she watched it. I ran my fingers through her hair and down her back, trying to lull her to sleep. When I heard the quiet sounds of her breathing, I knew she had finally fallen asleep. I carried her back into our bedroom and tucked her underneath the blankets.

I lied beside her and stared at the ceiling. Now I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking about Janice crying to herself. The sight broke my heart. She never talked about the incident with Carl but I should have known that it still bothered her. I hated thinking about it. I hated knowing I couldn’t protect her from her dreams. But I would never let anything happen to her ever again. It’s one of the reasons why I didn’t want her to go anywhere by herself. She was gorgeous, fuckable, and perfect. I didn’t want anyone to bother her again.

5

“So, you’re going to pick her up too?” Janice asked.

“I guess,” I said with a sigh. I sat down on the couch beside her.

She rolled her eyes. “You know you want to go.”

I shrugged.

“She can see right through that. She knows you missed her.”

“She was gone for two days.”

“So? You still missed her. You couldn’t stand to be away from me for even a day.”

I stared at her with a hungry expression. “Totally different situations, baby.”

“Are you going to tell her about our new toy?”

I smiled. “We tell each other everything, but I’m not going to tell her that.”

“I’m surprised.”

“Then her and Sean will probably get one and
—it will be weird. They’ll steal our thunder.”

“I don’t think anyone could steal our thunder,” she said with a smile.

“We do fuck like animals.”

“You haven’t tied me up in a while.”

I leaned toward her ear. “You want me to?”

“I’ve been bad lately.”

I kissed her ear then her neck. “I may have to punish you.”

“Oh no,” she said sarcastically.

I smiled. “I’m glad you’re kinky like me.”

“You make me that way.”

“I’m glad.”

“Are you going to tell Cortland?”

“That you’re kinky? He already knows, baby.”

She rolled her eyes. “About the stripper pole?”

“Fuck yeah I am.”

She laughed. “Are you afraid him and Monnique will copy us?”

I shook my head. “Nah. Monnique is too classy for that.”

“Oh?” she said with a raised eyebrow. “And I’m not classy?”

“Not even a little bit.”

She shrugged. “I guess you’re right.”

“You guess? You gave me a strip show and an unbelievable lap dance.” I eyed her. “Are you sure you’ve never been a stripper?”

“Would you care if I were?”

I was quiet for a moment. “I don’t know.”

She smiled and looked away.

“Yes I would.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to be the only man you’ve done that to.”

She shrugged.

“Am I?”

She kissed me gently on the lips. “Only you.”

I sighed in relief. “Good. I like it that way.”

“You grow more psychotic and possessive the longer we’re together.”

“I can’t help it. You’re mine.”

“And you’re mine, Ryan.”

“Well, there’s one thing I’ve done with you that I’ve never done with anyone else.”

“And what’s that?”

“I’ve never made love to someone before.”

Her eyes softened. “Oh, Ryan. You’re so sweet.”

I blushed. “Yeah—I guess.”

“I’m honored to be your first.”

I kissed her on the forehead. “I’m glad I finally found you.”

“Me too. I dated so many losers before you finally came into my life—so unexpected and random.”

“The first time I saw you I got chills.”

“Because I was so thin?”

I laughed. “No. Because I’ve never seen a more beautiful woman.”

She smiled. “I liked that you’re a sarcastic jerk all the time but you’re the sweetest guy to me.”

“That’s because you let me fuck you.”

She laughed. “Well, maybe you aren’t sweet all the time.”

I rubbed my nose against hers. “I treat you that way because you deserve to be treated like a goddess, baby.”

“You almost treat me as good as your sister.”

I rolled my eyes. “I take care of that crazy brat because I have to.”

“Yeah okay,” she said sarcastically.

I smiled.

“So, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

I hated conversations that started like that. That usually meant pain or trouble. “Yeah?”

“Well, since I’m not allowed to spend any money ever
, I’ve been saving it.”

I nodded. “Good.”

“But I think I know what I want to do with it.”

“What?”

“What if we bought a house?”

I was quiet for a moment. “I want whatever you want, baby. I like our apartment. I think it’s perfect for the two of us, but if you want to move that’s fine.”

She nodded. “Well, would it always be just us two?”

“I’m not letting Scarlet live with us again. I’ll kill her.”

She smiled. “That isn’t what I meant, Ryan.”

I stared at her. I had no idea what she meant. “Do you want to get a dog?”

“I meant kids. Is that something you have any interest in?”

I said nothing.

“I—I don’t mean to scare you, rush you, or make you freak out. I know we haven’t been dating that long, and if you want me to move out so we can take this slow, that’s fine.”

“Baby, I never want you to move out.”

She breathed a sigh of relief.

“But I’ve never really thought about kids. After I turned thirty, I stopped thinking about it.”

“So you don’t want to have any?” she asked sadly.

“No, it’s not that. I—I just never gave it any thought.”

“Would you want to make babies with me?”

“I want what you want.”

“But do
you
want kids?”

I shrugged. “I like kids. I t
hink they’re great. I just don’t know how great of a father I would be. I might be a horrible parent.”

Her eyes softened. “You would be a great dad, Ryan.”

I shrugged. “I’m a tattoo artist. I’m not a great role model.”

She shook her head. “That has nothing to do with anything. You’re a wonderful man. I would be honored to have you as the father of my children, Ryan. You would be a great father.”

“You really think so?”

“I really do.”

I nodded. “Then we can do that.”

She smiled. “So, I should keep saving for a house?”

“Yeah, you should.”

She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me. “I’m so glad I found you. You mean so much to me.”

I kissed her forehead. “I love you too baby.”

She pulled away and kissed me gently.

“So, is there a timeframe that you wanted this to happen in?” I asked hesitantly.

“Ryan, I don’t want to rush you. I know we haven’t been together for very long.”

I rolled my eyes. “We’ve never been traditional. You moved in with me when you barely knew me, had sex with me two days after you met me, and have been happy with me ever since. We aren’t rushing. If anything, we’re moving slow—for us.”

She smiled. “We are a little different.”

“And I’m already in love with you. I don’t want to be with anyone else for the rest of my life.”

“Ryan.”

“So don’t be scared that you’re rushing me. I’m not scared at all.”

She smiled. “Okay.”

“So, do you have a timeframe?”

She was quiet for a moment. “I want two kids, and I want to have them both before I turn thirty.”

“So, you have to have the first in three years?”

She nodded. “But I wouldn’t mind if I had them sooner,” she said quietly.

I kissed her on the forehead. “I can work with that. How about we practice for now?”

She smiled. “I think we’re already pros.”

I shook my head. “Nah. I think we need to work on it some more.”

She laughed. “I’m so happy I found you.”

“Me too.”

“You don’t know how many jerks there are out there.”

“Actually I do. All my boys are dogs.”

“I’m glad you aren’t.”

“No, I am. You’re the only person that I don’t act that way around.”

“Well, I’m glad I changed you.”

“You changed everything.”

A knock on the door announced Cortland’s arrival. He opened the door and walked into the living room. “Ready to pick up that brat?”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m never ready.”

He laughed. “She’s probably going to be chatty too.”

I groaned. “She never shuts up. She’s been calling me all weekend.”

“Phew. I’m glad she didn’t call me.”

“You’re lucky bastard.”

Janice shook her head. “I don’t get you two. You act like she’s a pain in the ass but you are both so fond of her.”

Cortland shrugged. “I never said I liked her.”

“You had sex with her, didn’t you?” Janice asked.

“Well, she raped me. I didn’t have a choice,” Cortland said.

“Yeah okay,” Ryan said sarcastic
ally. “She weighs less than a hundred pounds.”

“Hey! She’s strong, okay?” Cortland said.

Janice looked at me. “I can overpower, Ryan.”

I s
miled. “Baby, I let you. I like it when you think you’re raping me.”

She eyed me. “So you let me handcuff you to the bed?”

Cortland stepped toward the door. “Okay, this is getting awkward. Let’s hit the road. Her flight has probably already landed.”

I turned to Janice. “I’ll see you when I get home, baby.”

“Okay.”

I pushed her down on the couch and climbed on top of her. She giggled as I held her down. I pressed my lips against hers and kissed her harshly, slipping my tongue into her mouth. She moaned for me.

Cortland cleared his throat. “Maybe I should just go solo.”

I pulled away. “I love you, baby.”

“I love you too.”

“I’ll see you later.” I moved off of her then marched to the door. Cortland looked relieved that we were done. We left the apartment then headed down to his car on the street. When we were inside, I buckled my safety belt then we drove to the airport.

“You guys aren’t tired of each other already?” Cortland asked.

“Are you tired of Monnique?”

“Definitely not.”

“I’m not tired of Janice. It never gets old.”

“I see what you mean.”

“We put a stripper pole in the bedroom.”

“Are you serious?” he asked excitedly. “Did you convince her to do it?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Holy shit! How was it?”

“Janice knows how to work a pole. She looked damn fine.”

“Has she worked as a stripper before?”

“No, but she took a few pole dancing classes.”

“I should make Monnique take some classes.”

“I
t was pretty hot. It was the best sex we ever had.”

“Damn. Now I want one.”

I shook my head. “You couldn’t handle it.”

“What? Yes we could.”

“Nah. It’s too much.”

“Monnique and I do some nasty shit.”

“You guys are too vanilla.”

“We definitely aren’t
vanilla
.”

“Whatever,” I said sarcastically.

“I’ll prove it to you.”

I looked at him. “Please don’t,” I said seriously. “Unless it’s just Monnique.”

He hit me on the shoulder. “I would show you nothing of Monnique.”

“Then I definitely don’t want to see it,” I said with a laugh.

Cortland approached the airport and pulled into the pickup lane. I know I acted like I didn’t care for my sister, especially when she called and woke me up early in the morning, but I was excited to see her. Ever since she came back to Seattle, I felt whole and complete. Having both her and Janice made me feel like I really had a family. She was the one person I knew I could rely on for everything. There was nothing I could do that would make me lose her. Her love and commitment to me was unconditional. I liked having that support. I tried to never ask for help, but I knew I could ask her to help me if I needed it. After she selflessly helped out my business when she could have paid back her loans, I knew she and I were a team for the rest of our lives.

Cortland got out first and embraced Scarlet. I just watched them for a moment. Sean watched them with a smile on his face. I wondered if he would still be smiling if he knew that Scarlet slept with him. I understood why Scarlet didn’t want to tell him the truth. Our little family was perfect. She didn’t want to ruin it.

I got out of the car and approached her. Her eyes lit up like beacons when she saw me.  Her smile was bigger than I had ever seen it. It made me chuckle. When she didn’t contact me for a year, I wondered if she hated me, but if she did it didn’t matter now. She proved that she still loved me. She ran into my arms and I held her for a moment.

“I missed you so much,” she said into my chest.